Chapter 22
For the first time in a long time, Aunt Maude let me rest. The success of the previous week had put her in a good mood, and she had not demanded that we go riding, or pay calls, or visit one of the many museums in London.
It could not have come at a better time, because after last night’s kiss, and the words I’d longed to give and receive had passed between Alec and me, I felt more wretched than ever.
To know such love and passion existed between us and not be able to bask in the glow of God’s greatest gift, was torture.
Gallagher had helped me dress in a simple pink day gown, and I sat on the window seat in my room, looking out at the back side of Buckingham Palace. The street was congested with carriages and people. Overhead, the sky was a brilliant blue, and sunshine bathed the city in a golden hue.
If things had been different, and my parents had been able to marry, it was strange to think I might have grown up in London.
This place that seemed so foreign would feel like home and I wouldn’t be thinking about New York as much.
More importantly, I would probably never have met Alec, and this gaping hole inside me would not exist.
Tears fell down my cheeks, and I had to wipe them away again. Would I ever stop crying?
Gallagher had come in with a lunch tray when I had not gone down to eat, and with it, she had brought a white envelope with the duke’s seal.
He had scheduled a ball for Thursday evening, just six days away.
Six days until I would be bound to him, his family, and his history, forever.
Because once an engagement was agreed upon, there was no way to break it without a scandal and, perhaps, a lawsuit.
I had put the envelope inside the desk, not wanting to see it and be reminded of all I was about to lose.
With a sigh, I moved away from the window and paced, restlessly, across the room.
Somewhere in the house, Alec was probably just as miserable.
Part of me wanted to find him, to enjoy each stolen moment while we could, before I was engaged.
But the other part knew it was foolish and disingenuous to the duke.
I owed it to him and our future attempt at happiness to stay away from Alec.
Gallagher returned for the lunch tray, though I had hardly touched a thing. Just before she stepped out of the room, she paused.
“Mr. Paxton-Hill has booked tickets home to America,” she said to me, her voice low and sympathetic. “The tickets were purchased this morning. His valet told me they were going to leave as early as tomorrow, but Mrs. Hill caught wind of it and made him postpone until the day after the duke’s ball.”
I sank onto the trunk at the foot of my imposing bed.
I didn’t blame Alec for wanting to leave immediately, but I also couldn’t imagine him going away and never seeing him again.
How would I survive all that was to come without him?
He’d seen me through the worst of my journey with Aunt Maude so far.
“I’m not one to gossip,” Gallagher assured me, “but I also know—” She paused. “I also know he’s special to you.”
“Thank you, Gallagher.”
She nodded and then left the room.
I closed my eyes, knowing I needed to face the reality of Alec leaving, but I didn’t have the strength. Everything had happened so quickly once we arrived in England. I was still trying to make sense of it all.
I thought I would have more time.
A book tried to beckon me, though I had no ability to concentrate. I’d written to Imogen and Patrick, but those letters were already posted. My only consolation was that once I was married to the duke, I would have my own allowance, and I could send help back to my younger cousins.
My bedchamber door burst open, and I jumped.
Gallagher appeared, her eyes wide. “The prince is here, and he’s asked to speak to you, privately.”
“What?” I hadn’t heard her correctly. What would the prince be doing back so soon?
“The Prince of Wales—he’s here. In the front drawing room. Mrs. Hill received him, but when she called me to come and get you, she said: ‘His Royal Highness would like to speak to Miss Hill privately.’ That’s what she said.”
“The prince?” I could hardly believe it. I wanted to ask her why he had come, but Gallagher would have less insight than me.
“Would you like to change?” she asked me.
“I don’t think I should keep the prince waiting.” I glanced in the mirror and made sure I didn’t look like a blubbering mess. My eyes were a little red and puffy, but nothing too appalling.
I pinched my cheeks and blinked a few times, though there was nothing to be done about it.
My heart was pounding as I left my room and walked down the two flights of stairs to the main floor. Why in the world would the prince want to see me? According to Lady Mandeville, it was rare that he would make an unannounced call, unless he was very close friends with the person he was visiting.
I paused as my foot stopped on the bottom step.
Had the prince come to proposition me, as I had feared? How would I tactfully refuse him? Could someone refuse him?
I was more nervous than ever before as I walked across the wide foyer and stopped at the drawing room door. It had been left open, and I saw Aunt Maude and the prince sitting on the sofas, across from one another.
The Prince of Wales was dressed in a simple suit, nothing fancy or out of the ordinary. His side whiskers had been trimmed and he was freshly shaved.
They turned to look at me when I arrived, and they both rose to their feet.
“Your Royal Highness,” I said, dropping into a curtsey. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
Except, it wasn’t a pleasure to have him there. It felt somewhat like a nightmare.
“Good morning, Miss Hill. I’ve come to have a word with you, if I may.”
“I’ll step out,” Aunt Maude said, nodding in his direction as she moved toward the door.
I moved out of her way, but she gave me a warning look, as if cautioning me not to ruin anything.
Without another word, she closed the drawing room door, leaving me alone with the prince.
He watched me as I crossed the room to take a seat. My legs were so weak, I wasn’t sure I would reach the sofa. I tried not to cower under the weight of his stare, but it was more intense than last night.
“Pardon me,” he said, “but ever since I saw you at the drawing room presentation, there is something about you that is so familiar. It startled me when I saw you for the first time, and then last night it intrigued me. But this morning, I’m at a loss.”
We were facing each other, with the tea table between us.
“Won’t you have a seat?” I asked in a feeble voice.
He sat on the sofa, seeming almost unaware of it as he continued to regard me.
I also lowered myself, thankful for something solid to anchor myself to.
“You are probably wondering why I asked you so many questions last night,” he said.
“I thought—” I paused, my lips and mouth suddenly dry. “You were friendly,” I finished in a lame voice.
He scooted forward to the edge of the sofa. “You remind me of someone, Miss Hill, and at first, I thought it was a mere coincidence at the drawing room presentation, and then last night, I began to suspect it was more than coincidence with the answers you gave me.”
I frowned.
He took a deep breath. “I’m almost afraid to ask, worried that the answer will confirm what I suspect—and terrified it won’t.”
I shook my head, at a loss.
“Does the name—” He paused and swallowed. “Does the name Nellie O’Day bear any meaning to you?”
The world felt like it tipped on its side for a moment as I stared at him. I’d never told anyone the name of my mother, except Aunt Maude and Alec.
“How? How do you know about her?” I whispered.
Something shifted in his eyes. Shock, then vulnerability, and then joy. “Is she your mother, Miss Hill?”
I nodded, unable to find my voice again.
He smiled and shook his head as wonder filled his face. “You look just like her.”
“You—you know my mother?”
“I loved your mother, once upon a time.” He took a deep breath. “I still love your mother.”
“But how do you know her?” Had he really come all this way to simply inquire about her? Why hadn’t he asked me last night? He could have done it in a way that would not have drawn too much attention. He’d asked me so many other questions.
He stood and paced to the fireplace.
For a moment, I wasn’t sure what to do. If he rose, did I have to rise? I wasn’t certain my legs would even hold me up at the moment.
“I met her in Ireland, when I was nineteen. After I returned home from my trip to America, I was sent to Curragh Camp in County Kildare for military training. A group of friends and I went to a play that was traveling through town, and it was there that I first saw Nellie on stage. It was love at first sight.”
The Prince of Wales had been in love with my mother? I could hardly believe it.
“I returned the next night, and then the next. Finally, one of my comrades told Nellie that I was in attendance and would like to meet her.” His face brightened with the look of a young man in love.
“She was even more beautiful off the stage than on. We spent several days together, and they were the happiest of my life. When her acting troupe planned to leave County Kildare, I begged her to stay, and she did.”
He continued to pace as he spoke, but I remained motionless.
“The scandal made its way back to England,” he said, stopping at the fireplace and leaning his arm against the mantel, lost in his memories.
“My father came to Curragh Camp to speak to me. We spent hours walking around the parade ground, in the rain. He impressed upon me the great magnitude of responsibilities on my shoulders and my need to be morally astute.” He scoffed.
“I could never live up to my parents’ expectations, so I had long stopped trying. ”
He turned to look at me. “That night, after walking with my father, I returned to my quarters and Nellie told me she was with child.” His voice was low and serious. “With you, I suspect.”
My heart stopped beating as I stared at him. I opened my mouth to ask him to repeat himself, but nothing came out.
“I have never been happier in my life than in that moment,” he said.
“Your mother was beside herself, knowing that nothing could come of our love, but I wanted to convince her otherwise. I went out the next day and found a gold locket, which I had engraved with our initials. N for Nellie and B for Bertie. I gave it to her and told her I would abdicate the throne for her and for you. I was never more serious in my life.”
He paused as emotions overcame him, and he looked away for a moment.
“When I woke up the next morning, she was gone, and I’ve never spoken to her since.
” He shook his head. “I had someone locate her just after you were born. She’d come to England to live with her brother, Charlie, and give birth to her daughter—our daughter.
But after that, both of you disappeared and I’ve never heard a word about you since.
You can imagine my great surprise to see you walk into the drawing room, almost identical to the woman I knew as a younger person, so long ago. ”
I was still staring at him, dumbfounded by his confession.
I was the daughter of the Prince of Wales—the granddaughter of the Queen of England? Me? Keira O’Day from Five Points?
He studied me for a moment, swallowing. “Say something, Miss Hill, please.”
My mouth cracked open, but I could think of nothing to say that would make sense.
“I know this is quite a shock,” he said. “But I had to know for certain.”
“I—I have the locket,” I whispered.
He blinked, surprised. “You do?”
“In my room. My mother gave it to my uncle to give to me.” I frowned. “But I thought your name was Albert.”
“It is.” He smiled. “But my friends and family call me Bertie.”
I finally rose, unsure what else to do. I felt stronger than I anticipated. “What does all of this mean?”
“To me, it means the world. To everyone else? Nothing.” He walked over to me.
“No one must ever know the truth. This will be a secret between you, me, and your mother. One we will need to take to the grave, I’m afraid.
The scandal it would cause, especially now that you’ve created quite a stir in London society, would be detrimental to the health of the monarchy—and my mother.
” He sighed. “I’m afraid she already holds me accountable for my father’s death.
You see, after he visited me and returned to England, he became very ill and died not long after.
My mother believes it was from the strain caused by the scandal, and all the time we walked together in the rain.
If that scandal came back to haunt her, it would be catastrophic. ”
I nodded. “I understand.”
“Good.” He lowered his eyes. “Do you—do you know where your mother might be?”
I wanted to tell him, but it would not be wise. Both of them were married now. Nothing good would come of them seeing each other again. So, I decided to keep another secret, to protect the people I loved.
“I’m sorry.”
He nodded. “Just as well.” He lifted his gaze again. “Thank you, Miss Hill—”
“It’s Clara—or, at least, that’s what Aunt Maude calls me. My mother named me Keira.”
“Keira.” He smiled. “That’s beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
He stood for a moment, smiling at me. And then he said, “I should probably take my leave. I wouldn’t want Mrs. Hill, or anyone else, asking too many questions about my visit.” He grew very serious. “I must beg your promise that you won’t speak about any of this to anyone.”
“I promise.” Though it would be excruciating not to tell Alec. “What should I say about your visit?”
“Tell them that I am quite taken with you and that I wanted to further our friendship.” He grinned. “I’m the prince. No one can ask me why.”
I smiled at him.
He started to walk toward the door but paused. “May I call on you again, Keira?”
I nodded. “I would like that.”
“Very good.” He smiled and then bowed, in a gesture that was reserved only for royalty. “It was a pleasure, my dear.”
I was speechless again as he left the drawing room, and when Aunt Maude entered a few moments later, I was still standing where he’d left me.
“Well?” she asked. “What was that all about?”
Blinking, I only shook my head. “He said he was taken with me and wanted to further our friendship.”
Aunt Maude frowned, but then her face softened. “And what the prince wants, the prince gets.”
Except he had wanted Nellie, and he had wanted me, and he got neither.