A New Course #2
The statement struck him hard. The idea of Paddy ever feeling such a thing was a surprise. To have his own feelings so nakedly spoken was shocking.
“Shapes us from boys into men,” McGillvary continued. “Gives us a function. To leave it is to, for a time, lose a part of oneself.”
“At first?” Wentworth echoed.
“Until you discover that there is a man apart from the officer beneath your uniform. I will tell you now that the qualities that made you a fine officer can make a success in other arenas as well.” McGillvary smiled.
“And that there are compensations in civilian life that His Majesty’s service no longer provides. ”
As their meal progressed, McGillvary regaled him with tales of business ventures that sounded remarkably similar to naval exploits. The adversaries could be as nefarious, the manoeuvres just as ruthless, and the occasional crisis as heartbreaking.
“We were simply pirates, Frederick,” he said with a laugh as they finished their port. “It’s the same chase, Frederick, just with different flags and better port.”
Wentworth found himself smiling at the comparison. “And your adversaries?”
“Other men of business, foreign competitors, occasionally officials of the government.” McGillvary’s eyes twinkled.
“Did I mention I’ve had several run-ins with your father-in-law?
Sir Walter finds my ‘trade connexions’ distasteful, but my personally assured loans quite essential to maintaining Kellynch Hall. ”
This drew a genuine laugh from Wentworth. “I can very well imagine his dilemma.”
“So,” McGillvary said, pouring the last of the port, “what say you? Will you consider my offer seriously?”
Wentworth swirled the ruby liquid in his glass, watching the firelight play through it. “I will,” he said finally. “Though I would need to discuss it thoroughly with Anne.”
“Of course, of course,” McGillvary agreed readily. “Take whatever time you need. The offer stands.”
Upstairs, Anne had settled back in her chair after showing Edward to her sister. The boy now slept in his cradle, having awakened only briefly during the inspection by his aunt.
“He is beautiful, Anne,” Elizabeth said, with genuine warmth in her voice. “He has the captain’s chin already, though the rest is pure Elliot, I think.”
“That is kind of you to say.” Anne smiled. “Though I confess I see little of either family in him yet—only a rather red-faced, determined little man who has his own opinions about everything.”
“Just like his father, then.” Elizabeth laughed. “How is the captain faring these days? Patrick guesses the Admiralty has been typically unhelpful.”
Anne sighed. “It has been difficult for him. He feels... banished. The navy has been his home for nearly half of his life. To be suddenly without direction or purpose weighs on him.”
“And my husband’s offer? Has he mentioned it to you?”
“He wonders if he has misheard. I think he is doubting everything he knows,” Anne admitted. “If it is true that my brother wishes him to join his business ventures, I think Frederick may consider it.”
Elizabeth leant forwards, her expression earnest. “It would be a good match, Anne. Patrick needs someone with steadiness and loyalty. He has many around him, but oh so few he sincerely trusts. And the captain would have a purpose again. A different sort to be sure, but no less worthy.”
“I agree,” Anne whispered. “And there would be advantages for my son and me. A settled home being the most vital. Edward would not have to endure the separations that will naturally come if his father remained in the navy.”
“You would not have to endure those separations either. You said many times that the assignment in Minorca was an oddity. And now that it is done, you would worry if it came to pass.”
Anne watched her sleeping son. “I made my choice when I married Frederick, knowing what a naval life entailed. I would never begrudge him his career.”
“Of course not,” Elizabeth agreed. “But circumstances change. You are a mother now, with different considerations.”
“True enough. However, I would not have Frederick abandon his calling solely for my comfort.”
“Is it his calling still?” Elizabeth asked gently. “Or the path he walked because it was familiar?”
“I cannot say with certainty. I know only that seeing him struggling, feeling adrift… it has shown me a new side of him. A vulnerability I had never seen before.”
“And how do you feel about this more vulnerable husband?”
“I love him better for it,” Anne admitted. “The strong, self-assured captain is appealing, but to see him holding Edward, speaking to him so tenderly, has deepened my feelings in ways I had not anticipated.”
Elizabeth smiled knowingly. “Marriage changes after children arrive. Patrick became a different man when Gwenny was born. All the warnings I received before we married were true. But he has changed. Softer in some ways, fiercer in others.”
“Yes. It is precisely that. Frederick has always been protective, but now there is a new quality. A steadiness, a certainty about what matters most.”
“And what matters most to you?”
Anne’s answer came without hesitation. “That we are together. No matter what the future holds or where we may go. And that Edward grows up knowing his father’s strength and character. That Frederick finds purpose that brings him success, whether at sea or ashore.”
“You sound remarkably certain for a new mother who has just survived a harrowing birth at sea.”
“Perhaps because of that experience,” Anne replied thoughtfully. “When one faces mortality so directly, it clarifies the mind.”
Their conversation continued through dinner, ranging from family matters to the latest news from Bath, but Anne found her thoughts returning to Frederick and his decision. She had her opinions and hopes. By the time the men rejoined them, she was firm in what she wanted him to decide.
Wentworth and McGillvary returned, and the sisters said their goodbyes. Promises were made that the couples would visit again before one or both departed Plymouth.
“Was dinner with the admiral all you hoped?”
He took a seat beside her on the chaise.
“It was. The fish was excellent. Sole. And the beef was tender as a ripe pear.” He realised this was the first time he meant to tease her since Edward was born.
And that, for the first time, he felt like it.
She raised a brow and said nothing. “It was illuminating. He has a way of making business sound like a naval campaign. He has complete strategies, planned manoeuvres, and even the occasional broadside.”
Anne smiled. “And did his arguments strike their target?”
“They found their range. His offer is generous, Anne. A partnership overseeing his shipping interests initially, with potential for broader responsibilities as I learn the business. We would live in Bath, near your sister.”
“And you are considering it seriously?” Her tone was uncharacteristically light.
“I am,” he said, somewhat surprised by his own growing certainty. “The Admiralty offers little prospect of meaningful employment at present. We are blessed that we are not trapped into living on half-pay alone. Change may come. However, that would be like waiting for a wind that may never appear.”
He studied her as she studied him. Her eyes and brow were relaxed. “And how do you feel about this possibility?” She touched his heart. “Truthfully?”
Wentworth stretched out his legs. Were he to take the offer, he would never again command a ship.
He would never again plant his feet on the quarterdeck and anticipate the rough surge of the ship when the sails filled and a voyage truly began.
And there were countless other things he would be leaving behind.
“Uncertain,” he admitted. “The sea has been my life. I know its dangers, its rewards. Business is unknown territory.”
“But not entirely dissimilar.”
“So Patrick insists,” Wentworth said with a grin. “He claims we were pirates all along, just flying a proper flag. Now the piracy happens in gentlemen’s clubs and is far tidier.”
Anne laughed. “That sounds very much like my brother-in-law.”
“There is one other consideration,” Wentworth said, his expression growing serious. “Eyerly.”
“Your bosun? What of him?”
“He has served with me for many years. Followed me from ship to ship. I would not abandon him to his dissolute father or to some green lieutenant who does not appreciate his worth.”
“Might McGillvary have a position for him as well? Surely his shipping interests require experienced sailors.”
“Of course.” The suggestion was in line with his own thoughts. He wanted her closer. “Eyerly would make an excellent ship’s master or purser even.”
“Then that concern at least might be addressed.” She touched his lips, straightening to kiss him.
He reluctantly sat back. “We cannot.”
“I know. But nature is cruel at times.” Her cheeks were a luscious pink, and her lips sweeter than he remembered. “We shall see to it soon enough. I promise.”
Wentworth rose and moved to the cradle. The boy’s features were more defined now, weeks after his birth. The initial redness and swelling subsided to reveal what promised to be a handsome face with Anne’s delicate nose, and the determined Wentworth chin.
“He will have his first birthday when I have my thirty-eighth,” Wentworth mused. “And every year thereafter, we shall mark the day together.”
“A fortunate coincidence,” Anne said, coming to stand beside him.
“Perhaps not merely a coincidence,” Wentworth replied thoughtfully. “Perhaps a reminder that while his life is beginning, mine is shifting.”
Anne slipped her arm around his waist. “Much like a book. Every page is something new.”
They stood in silence for a time, watching their sleeping son. Finally, Wentworth reached a decision.
“I shall accept Patrick’s offer. Provisionally, for one year. Time enough to determine whether I am suited to business and not long enough to bankrupt him if I am not.”
Anne laughed and drew him to her. “A sensible approach.”
Wentworth brushed a strand of hair from her face, his fingers lingering against her cheek. “These past weeks have shown me something I had not fully appreciated before, my girl.”
“What is that?”
“Your strength,” he said simply. “Not merely in enduring such difficulty under impossible circumstances, but in facing our uncertain future without so much as a word of complaint. I have felt so adrift, and you have been my anchor.”
Anne leaned into his touch. “And you have been mine. Watching you with our son has deepened my love for you, Captain.”
He pulled her close, mindful of her condition. “When you are fully well again,” he murmured against her hair, “I shall show you precisely how much I cherish you, Mrs Wentworth.”
“I look forward to it, Captain,” she replied, a hint of mischief in her voice that he had sorely missed.
They remained thus for a moment, finding comfort in each other’s embrace, before Anne reluctantly pulled away. “You should write to McGillvary in the morning. And to Eyerly as well.”
Wentworth nodded. “And inform the Admiralty that I will go on half-pay.” He chuckled. “Would it not be just like the blighters to suddenly want me when I say I am unavailable?”
As they laughed at the irony, were it to occur, Edward stirred in his sleep, one tiny fist escaping the swaddling to wave briefly in the air before settling again. Wentworth smiled at the gesture, interpreting it as a salute to new beginnings.
“Happy birthday to us both, my son,” he whispered. “The first of many we shall celebrate together, whatever course our lives may take.”
Anne leaned her head against his shoulder, her hand finding his. “A new course,” she said softly. “New horizons for us all.”
~ The End ~