Chapter 9 #2
“I hope so. I was scared of her at first, but now I’m not.
And I see a lot of people with other dogs.
I saw a lady today when Chris take me… took me to the store.
It was light brown with really curly hair and really cute.
The lady let me pet the dog, and he was very nice and rolled over so I could rub his belly.
It was fun.” He was so excited, and Atlas couldn’t help feeling the same for him.
“I’m glad you aren’t afraid of them. Evie is well trained.
Mostly at work she uses her nose, but she is trained to protect me.
There are certain commands that will cause her to attack.
Next week she and I go to a special place so we can work on that area of her training.
It’s the hardest part. Mostly I want her to be gentle, but she is a police dog, so danger is part of the job, and I don’t want her getting hurt any more than I want to be put in harm’s way. ”
Bazel ate some more, nodding slowly. “I’m sure she will do great. She did when she protected us.”
“Yeah. Wendell had no idea what he was in for when he broke in here.” That was for damned sure.
Which kept assuring him that the guy was from out of town.
And since he was injured, it wasn’t likely he would be back.
Still, Atlas kept wondering what was behind all of this.
Most people would cut their losses and let go.
After all, the bigger a deal they made of a lost shipment, of any type, just brought more attention to it.
What he really needed was more information, but it seemed he wasn’t going to get any.
“Can I visit the women again soon? I want to make sure they are okay,” Bazel asked.
“Yes. Chris called today. Some of their families are welcoming them back, and two of the women are going home. So I was hoping you could speak to them before they leave and see if they know any information that could help us.”
“Yes, of course. I want to say goodbye,” Bazel said. Atlas pulled out his phone and sent a message, getting an almost immediate response.
“She says that she will bring them to the coffee shop downtown at one tomorrow. I agree that is fine. Evie and I will pick you up and bring you there to see them.”
“Okay. I wish this were… that things were better.” He lowered his gaze once more, and Atlas hated that Bazel seemed to think this was his fault somehow.
“Things are pretty good.” It was his turn to be positive.
“We found you, and you are here, in a safe place… and so are they. I know it isn’t an option for you, but some of their families welcoming them back is good.
It means they can go where people love them.
Chris will continue to help the others.”
Bazel nodded slowly “I know.” He peered upward, those deep brown eyes filling with sadness.
“They will go home, and their families will love them.” He set down his fork and turned away before getting up from the table to leave the room.
Atlas was unsure what he should do. His first instinct was to leave Bazel alone and give him a moment of privacy.
Evie followed him out, and after a minute, when Bazel didn’t return, Atlas found him in the living room on the sofa with Evie next to him, her head on his lap. She was pressed as close to him as possible, and Bazel had his eyes closed, tear trails drying on his cheeks.
“It will be okay.” God, the words sounded so damn hollow.
“How?” Bazel asked. “My family not love me and they will not again. I am here, alone, and I cannot go back.” He held Evie, burying his face in her fur. “What if they say I cannot stay? What if I have to return? There is nothing there for me.”
He didn’t have answers.
“I happy that they can go home. That is really good.”
“Do you want to go home?” Atlas asked, almost afraid of the answer.
“Home? There is no home. I have no home. I not want to go back, but I have no home here either. Maybe I am jealous… is that the word? I wish that someone loved me enough to want me back.”
Fuck, those few words nearly shattered Atlas’s heart.
His parents had moved west for their retirement.
He and Evie saw them a couple times a year.
But he had no doubt that they loved him.
Yes, they had had a difficult time accepting that their only son was gay.
But his sister, who lived three miles from his parents in Scottsdale, had provided them with a grandson and a granddaughter, so the pressure was off him in the grandchild department.
Still, to not have anyone…. “You have people who care for you.” He perched on the arm of the sofa.
“Evie adores you.” She opened her eyes at her name but closed them again, soaking up the attention like a sponge.
“And you’re going to build a life here. It just takes some time.
And as for going back, Chris and I will do everything we can to help you stay. We want you to stay… I want you here.”
Bazel nodded, some of the pain leaching out of his eyes. “I sorry for being such a downer.”
Atlas snickered because he couldn’t help it. “You must have heard that on television.”
“Yes. People are weird. And what is a noogie and why would someone want one?”
Atlas drew close and wrapped Bazel in his arms, rubbing his knuckles over his head, albeit gently.
“That is a noogie, and no one wants one. It’s something bullies and mean people do.
Now, come on back and let’s finish the amazing dinner you made before it gets cold.
” And his part of the bargain was to find a topic of conversation that was lighter and not fraught with emotional pitfalls.
Bazel returned to the table and ate a little more while Atlas finished his dinner.
Once they were through, he packed up what was left and put it in the fridge.
Then he did the dishes, telling Bazel to sit in the living room and relax.
He had cooked, so Atlas would do the dishes.
It was only fair, even if every pan in the house was dirty.
“What are you watching?” Atlas asked once he was done and found Bazel enthralled in a show on television. “Oh, the old Highlander series. I watched this when I was a kid. It’s pretty good.” And Adrian Paul was hot.
“Is this real?”
“No. It’s fantasy. A made-up story just for fun. Are you liking it?”
“Yes. I like the action parts and the swords. It’s cool.
” Then he grinned. Atlas wasn’t sure he would ever get used to Bazel using semi-current lingo and reminded himself not to let him watch any rap videos.
The guy soaked up language like a sponge, and the last thing he wanted was for him to start talking like Bunny D or something.
They settled in to watch for a while, and by the time Duncan had defeated the bad immortal, Atlas was yawning and Bazel seemed half asleep, using Evie as a pillow. Regardless of what Bazel might say, this felt as close to a family as Atlas had experienced in years.
ATLAS STRETCHED and rolled onto his side, encountering Bazel’s warmth next to him.
At one point, Bazel had woke up yelling, and Atlas offered him part of his bed.
From then on, he had slept like a log and Bazel had barely moved.
He had to go to work, though Atlas wished he could stay in bed.
But he carefully got up, grabbed his uniform from the closet, and left to clean up and get dressed.
He ate quickly before getting Evie ready and locking the house on his way out.
He had some time booked at the range this morning, and he wanted to get there in time so he didn’t miss his slot.
Once he arrived, he left Evie in the air-conditioned car and went inside, checked in, and got into position before squeezing off a set of rounds.
“What’s with you?” Red, a fellow officer, asked from the booth next to his. “You usually do better than that.” He had hit the target each time, but his pattern was usually tighter. “Got something on your mind? Or someone?” He took his turn and ended up with the kind of pattern Atlas usually had.
“Don’t know.” He reloaded and cleared his mind, squeezing off his shots. “That’s better.” He set the gun down and pulled off his ear protection. “I keep thinking about….”
“Bazel. The guy staying with you?” Red stepped back, and Atlas did the same. “You got to give yourself a break. If you like the guy, then good on you. Being alone sucks, and liking someone but holding yourself back sucks even more.”
“Tell me about it. The guy has nightmares and has been sleeping in my bed for the past few nights. And it’s driving me crazy. I think about him all the damned time. And it’s all so innocent with him. He’s been through a lot, and I’m not going pressure him, but I wake up next to him and….”
“Everything shifts into overdrive and you have to somehow get the engine cooled down.”
“Exactly. Maybe instead of the gun range, I should sign up for one of the martial arts classes and take my frustrations out that way.” Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea.
He was fully trained and had earned a black belt years ago, so some training would hone his skills, and he could work out these feelings he didn’t seem to know what to do with.
It was a good idea for him to refresh his skills anyway.
“You could just talk to the guy about it. Sometimes that actually works, you know.”
Atlas sighed. “I get that. But sometimes I wonder how much Bazel understands. He’s smart, but I worry about language and if he truly understands all the time.”
Red patted his shoulder. “You know that means you really care for him, so I think one way or the other, things will work out. Now let’s kill some targets.
” He put his ear protection back on. Atlas did the same, and they shot off some more rounds, their session turning into a competition with Red’s shooting really on point.
ATLAS PICKED up his phone through the car an hour before the end of his shift.
“Atlas, help.”