Chapter Nineteen #2
Then, she rummaged in the jewel case for the amber ant and kissed it before pinning it to her bodice. When she’d returned from Soho, she’d taken it off and sworn she would never wear it again.
She’d not lasted a day. But it seemed proper to wear it now, a bit of mourning jewellery that would have meaning to no one but her.
She heard the sound of footsteps in the hall. They hesitated at her door. Then, a folded paper slipped beneath it and into the room, and its deliverer hurried back down the hall and away.
She frowned and rose, crossing the room to retrieve the note, unfolding and reading.
My dear Miss Fisk,
I know we once agreed to be on more intimate terms, but it hardly seems right to take the liberty, after the wrongs I have done to you.
Know that, whatever else may happen today, I am truly sorry for them. No harm will come to your brother, no matter what else may occur. I intend to delope and take whatever punishment he wishes to give to me.
But I will not lie easy in my grave if you are left thinking as you did last night that I lured you to ruin, believing that Balard would marry you and hide any accident. My intent was to charm you away from him, keeping you into the evening so the proposal would never occur.
She smiled and clutched the paper to her bosom with a relieved sigh. The truth was bad, of course. But not as bad as it could have been. She brought it down again and continued to read.
My mistake was in believing that, when you came to my house a year ago, it was out of affection for me. In the year that separated our meetings, I’d spun some wild and unlikely fantasy that you were in love with me and not just concerned for your brother’s future.
I know now that it was foolish. Since I found you again, you’ve made it quite clear that you did not wish to renew our unusual acquaintance. It mortifies me that I continued to badger you after you made your wishes known.
As to what happened in Soho? You have nothing to berate yourself for. The fault was all mine. You were hardly the first woman to succumb to my advances there.
She gave the paper an angry shake, for that was hardly flattering.
But you were to be the last. My intention when I brought you there was to quit the apartment after that day, and share the rest of my life with you.
Her smile returned.
But then, you explained the reason that you nursed me, last year, and I realized how wrong I had been about your feelings.
He did not understand her at all. Perhaps she had not loved him at first sight. But now that she’d met with him again, she could not imagine a life without him.
I hope that what I do this morning will make up for my mistakes. To further make amends…
She had forgotten the duel. She read on, faster.
settlement…
my bank…
monies to be directed to you…
The rest did not matter.
She threw it aside, opened the bedroom door and ran down the stairs. It was not too late. It could not be. The sun was not yet up, and he and Julian would need a decent amount of light to do something as stupid as what they were planning.
She skidded to a stop in the front hall, surprised to find Banks, the butler, standing beside it as if it was normal to be at his post in what was still so close to the middle of the night.
‘May I assist you, Miss Fisk?’ he said, with a respectful nod.
‘Has my brother gone?’ she said, panting out the words.
‘About ten minutes ago, miss.’
‘Where? And how quickly can I get there?’
He seemed unperturbed by her desperation and answered with the same calm and measured voice he’d have used if she’d asked him about the weather.
‘As for your method of transportation, I was instructed to order a post-chaise that would take you to your parents’ home later in the day.
’ He blinked. ‘It seemed wise to procure it as early as possible, in case later supply exceeded demand. It is waiting outside now.’
She waved her hands, encouraging him to speak faster. ‘Wonderful. And what is the direction?’
‘I am not permitted to say, miss.’
She stared at him, incredulous.
‘I was ordered to tell nothing of today’s location to either you or Her Grace, lest you might decide to interfere,’ he said, blandly. Then, he stared at her, expectantly.
She ran back through his words, wondering what she could say that might persuade him to disobey his master.
Then, it hit her. ‘Banks, where did last year’s duel happen?’
‘Wimbledon Common, miss. Near where they are building the windmill.’
‘Thank you, Banks,’ she said, throwing her arms around him. Then tried to compose herself and added, ‘I should much like to see the progress on that windmill, before I go.’
‘Very good, miss. I shall tell the driver.’ For a moment, he seemed as if he was about to smile.
But then, he looked as distant as ever. ‘Your brother left money for your trip this afternoon. He did not want it to be forgotten in the rush of events. Perhaps you should take it now.’ He reached into his pocket and removed a purse and opened it to reveal a thick roll of bills.
‘Thank you, again,’ she said, snatching it from his hand as he opened the door and walked her to the hired carriage. As she sank back into the seat, she could hear him telling the driver to take her to Wimbledon and not to spare the horses.
They took off at a trot, and she grabbed the strap above her, closed her eyes and prayed it was not too late.