6. Charlotte
“Rich!” Elizabeth cried. “Are you certain? He’s just a bear.”
Her father gave her a stern look. “I think we have firmly established that he’s not just a bear. We would not be having this conversation if he were.”
“A rich bear.” Odelia’s wondering tone didn’t match the hard light that came into her eyes. She cast a quick, conspiratorial glance at Elizabeth before turning to Charlotte with a sickly sweet smile. “He must be in great favor with the High King. Perhaps he even has a title. You might discover after you marry him that you are Lady Charlotte!”
Her father threw a glance at her mother that Charlotte couldn’t read. Did he believe Odelia’s words and think the bear had some kind of official title? It sounded unlikely to her. Did anyone at the Palace of Light have a title other than the High King?
“A bride price?” Her mother frowned. “That isn’t a common custom in any of the Four Kingdoms.”
“I have told you,” her father said quickly. “They do things differently in…” Again he trailed off, giving her mother a significant look as if she would understand his meaning.
Charlotte frowned. Was her father awed at the idea that his daughter might one day dwell in the Palace of Light? Was that why he wasn’t speaking of it directly?
Charlotte herself certainly felt awed. But not awed enough to agree to the bear’s unexpected proposal. As much as she longed to escape her isolated life, she wasn’t willing to entirely give up on the hope of romantic love in order to achieve it.
She had seen enough households in their old village, as well as here among the valley folk, to know that the happiest and most fulfilling lives were those built on love. It was clear that even the High King agreed since he had decreed that the kingdoms would prosper when ruled by love. It was the reason he sent out his godmothers to help the royal families to find true love. Not even the most powerful king or queen would deny their heir the chance to marry for love, so why should she be asked to marry a stranger—and one who could never truly be a husband to her?
She knew there were other types of love than romantic love, and that a life could be happily built on them. She even felt a connection with the White Bear that she couldn’t explain. But it wasn’t enough to give up her hopes of something more.
“I can’t.” She shook her head rapidly, feeling a little sick. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I don’t want a legal binding but a real marriage.”
“A real marriage?” Elizabeth scoffed, although Charlotte knew both her sisters dreamed of being swept off their feet by an eligible young man. “What man might you be thinking of? There’s no one who wants to marry you!”
“I didn’t mean anyone in particular,” Charlotte said, saddened rather than offended by her sister’s words. “Just that I would like to meet someone one day.” It was painfully clear that Elizabeth was projecting her own disappointed hopes onto Charlotte, and her sister’s next words only confirmed it.
“And who would you meet here?” Elizabeth asked poisonously, once again triggering a wave of sadness in Charlotte.
After hearing the tales of her aunt’s success, her father had expected to find prosperity in the valleys. And in the early days, her mother had talked of future visits to the Rangmeran capital after Elizabeth turned eighteen. Given the proposed timing, Charlotte had always known what the purpose of such trips would be. But the expected prosperity had been slower to come than expected, and in the years since Elizabeth turned eighteen, there had been no trips forthcoming.
Elizabeth was right that it would be a struggle for any of them to meet a man they might be able to love here. But their father claimed change was just around the corner. It wouldn’t take much of an improvement in their circumstances to allow the promised trips to happen. Couldn’t they be patient just a little longer?
“We will none of us find husbands here,” Odelia said on a sigh, echoing Elizabeth. “Is there even a point to being rich if we have to stay here, away from all society and comfort?”
Their father coughed. “Actually,” he said, “the bear spoke of helping us establish ourselves in Arcadia.” He sounded dispirited at the idea, and Charlotte knew what it would cost him to give up his dreams of forging a new life in this remote region. But he was clearly willing to accept a move for the sake of his family.
“Arcadia?” Her mother couldn’t keep a longing note from her voice. “Everyone talks about what a wonderful kingdom Arcadia is! The people lack the sternness of the Rangmerans and the formality of the Northhelmians, you know. And their royal family has led them to great prosperity. I’ve heard the old king is even thinking of retiring, as King Richard did recently in Northhelm. Everyone adores Crown Prince Maximilian and his wife, Princess Alyssa, and they say they will make excellent monarchs. It is better by far to have someone young and vital on the throne than someone declining in capacity. It seems a most sensible move.”
Charlotte swallowed, trying not to feel betrayed by her mother’s words. She could understand the appeal of riches and a life in Arcadia, but surely her mother wouldn’t sell her own daughter to achieve it?
“Of course if you say no, it is not to be thought of, Charli,” her father said, cutting through her sisters’ excited exclamations.
He met her eyes across the room, and she told herself she was imagining the faintest shadow of disappointment at her resistance. It was merely exhaustion, and she couldn’t blame him for that. Her father, at least, was always on her side.
“I only repeated the offer because I thought it might be of interest to you,” he said, confirming her thoughts. “Someone so rich and powerful would change your life as well as ours, Charli-bear.”
For the first time in her life, Charlotte winced at her old nickname. “I cannot trade love for riches, Father,” she said softly.
He nodded quickly. “I will tell him.”
As soon as he said the words, Charlotte felt a pang. She barely knew the White Bear, and yet she couldn’t help but feel pain at the thought of disappointing him. But she comforted herself with the assurance that he would easily find a better companion than her. Plenty of people would be willing to sacrifice anything for the chance to travel to the Palace of Light.
Her father stepped outside, carefully closing the door behind him. Charlotte already knew it was futile to try to listen through the door, so she hurried to the window beside it and peered outside.
The storm still raged although she had barely noticed the wind and rain since the bear’s arrival. The early darkness of the storm clouds made it hard to see far, but the whiteness of the bear’s fur stood out, even through the driving rain.
She couldn’t hear the words her father spoke to him, but she saw the moment the bear’s demeanor changed, his shoulders slumping in a way that looked strangely human. Her stomach clenched, and she almost wavered. But she shook herself, remembering what was at stake. Something strange and magical was afoot, clearly, and she longed to embrace the strange adventure before her, but she could not sacrifice the chance of love and children and a home of her own one day. Not for adventure and certainly not for riches.
When her father slipped back into the house, unwinding his waterproof wrap, he looked subdued.
“He is gone?” Charlotte asked in a small voice. “I suppose he’s already on his way to ask the next girl.”
Her father shifted uneasily, pausing before answering. “Actually, he refused to give up hope. He said his offer had been sudden, and he could understand your hesitance. He asked me to assure you that he would never harm you and that anything you could wish for will be yours. He said he will return in a week for your final answer.”
Charlotte gulped, her head spinning slightly. It had been a struggle to fight her impulse for adventure and escape, but she had succeeded and thought the matter finished. And now it wasn’t finished after all? She could still prove weak and make a mistake that might throw away her life.
“No, no!” she cried. “You must tell him I do not mean to accept!” She ran to the door and pulled it open, poised to run out into the rain despite her lack of covering.
But there was no longer a patch of white in sight. The bear was gone, and she would have no hope of finding him in the downpour.
She slumped, slowly closing the door. As she turned, her eyes caught on her mother who had joined her older sisters by the stove. Her mother looked uncomfortable—as if caught between conflicting emotions—but Elizabeth and Odelia were openly exultant.
Charlotte’s gut tightened again, but this time it was a dark, squirming feeling as if she might be sick. Her sisters had exclaimed in disbelief and even outrage at first, but the mention of riches had changed their minds completely. If there had ever been any doubt in her heart, she now knew for certain that they would sell her to the bear without a moment’s hesitation.
The discomfort at her mother’s reaction hit hardest, though. Since the wedding, her mother had been doing her best to smooth the way between her daughters, keeping the peace by separating them whenever possible. Charlotte had believed she was doing it for all of their sake because she didn’t want the family marred by disharmony or to be forced to side with one child over another. But looking at her mother now, Charlotte saw her mother’s silences and placating looks as something else entirely. By keeping the peace when Charlotte was being wronged, she had always been siding with her older daughters, even if she wasn’t willing to admit it.
And now, despite her mother’s bustling efforts to finish preparing the table for their meal, she couldn’t hide her true feelings. She might feel guilty for it, but she was almost as tempted as Elizabeth and Odelia. She wanted a different life.
Just as she had chosen peace and an easier life over defending Charlotte in the past, now she was once again tempted to put her own comfort ahead of her daughter. Charlotte knew her mother loved her, but she didn’t love her enough to choose her, and the pain of that constricted her chest.
A shiver ran through her, and she knew she couldn’t possibly sit and eat the evening meal with them all as if nothing were wrong. Her family had shown their true colors, and although she had thought herself inured, it cut deep.
She managed to coax her legs into moving, pausing briefly beside the laden table. Snatching up a piece of bread, a wedge of cheese, and an apple, she hurried to her room.
Her father called after her, but she shut the door on his voice. She felt a pang of guilt for shutting out the only family member on her side, but her emotions were running too high, and the house was too small for all of them. Removing herself was the only way she knew to prevent an eruption.
She would eat, and then she would hide herself in bed. If she hadn’t fallen asleep by the time her sisters came in, she would pull the blankets over her head. She couldn’t face them. Not tonight. Not when she knew what they would say.
Tomorrow she would have new reserves. And surely a whole night would give her enough time to come up with a strategy—some way she could resist her sisters’ blandishments without turning her life into a misery.
It turned out one night was not enough. Despite many sleepless hours, lying still beneath her blanket and listening to the wind, Charlotte could come up with nothing of use. That her sisters would try to convince her to accept the bear, she was certain. What she didn’t know was how to hold firm in her refusal without stoking her sisters’ enmity toward her.
Given how late it was before she fell asleep, it was no surprise that she woke late yet again. But this time she was greeted with bright smiles of welcome and two cheery greetings.
“We have breakfast laid out for you when you’re ready,” Elizabeth said in the warmest tone Charlotte had heard her use in months. “You must be exhausted after the terrible night we had. The wind was so loud! And that rain! I’m sure none of us slept a wink.”
Charlotte managed a forced smile, remembering the gentle snores of both sisters, just audible above the storm.
Odelia nodded vigorously. “And of course you must not think of going out gathering today. Everything will be mud! We’ll stay inside and have a comfortable time together. Perhaps you can advise me on the new dress I’ve been making?”
Charlotte struggled to come up with a response. She had expected some sort of campaign from them, but this was excessive. Did they really think she would find it sincere?
In the end, she remained silent, merely joining them at the table. At least she felt up to eating in company with her family which was an improvement on the night before.
The rest of the day progressed in much the same way. Her sisters were sickeningly kind to her, and every instance of their consideration felt like the twist of a knife blade in her gut. Even her mother’s effusive kindness was hard to take, although in her mother’s case it didn’t feel entirely false. But it still made her feel tired, small, and sad. Her mother might love her, but her love hadn’t been enough to make her stand up for Charlotte in the past, and it wasn’t stopping her thinking of a new life in Arcadia now.
When she managed to escape outside with her father on the second day after the storm, she felt nothing but relief. Stretching, she sucked in a long breath, lifting her face toward the clear sky.
Her father chuckled. “Relieved to escape, hey?”
Charlotte threw him a grateful look. At least one of her family members understood her. Her father had always sensed when Charlotte had reached her limits, responding by inviting her to spend the day with him in the forest. And in the past, a day away from her sisters, with her father for company in their stead, had always set her right again. He was her solid foundation. He would never turn against her, and that knowledge enabled her to endure her sisters’ pressure.
“Do I dare ask what you’re thinking, Charli-bear?” her father asked with another chuckle.
She winced. It seemed the old nickname was ruined forever now. The thought dulled her enjoyment of being outside. Ever since their cousin’s wedding, life had been growing increasingly insupportable, but how much worse was it going to get in five days’ time when she stood firm and refused to sell her future for her sisters’ enrichment?
But she didn’t want to ruin the day with her father before it had even begun.
“I’m hoping there’s still some edible greenery left after that storm,” she said, forcing herself to respond lightly. “We’ve already eaten what we gathered from before, and I’m loathe to go back to a diet of only preserved food.”
His smile grew. “If anyone can find something, it’s you. You’re almost as attuned to these forests as I am.”
Her father was trying to compliment her, to buoy her up, but his words hurt. Did he really not know that it was a desire for escape that drove her from the house as much as a love for the forests themselves? In the face of her sisters’ childhood dislike, she had aligned herself with her father from the beginning, always seeking his validation and approval. Had she taken it too far, leading him to believe she possessed the same love of the unclaimed wilderness as he did?
Charlotte did like the natural beauty and space of the valley—it was almost the sole positive in their second home—but it didn’t light her up the same way it did her father. She explored because it was better than sitting at home with no break from her tense relationship with her sisters.
A cold, uncomfortable feeling swept over her. Did her one true ally in the family not actually understand her at all?
She shook the thought away violently. Her father loved her. Her father was loyal to her. He was the only one she had, and she wasn’t going to undermine their relationship by focusing on hurtful imaginings.
She pinned a bright smile to her face. “I’ll do my best.”
They separated not long after, each off to pursue their own tasks for the day, and Charlotte tried to push all other thoughts out of her head. She really did want to find something edible to forage, and given the damage to the fledgling plants, it would take some concentration to achieve.
By the time the sun was seeking the horizon, she had succeeded better than expected. At the height of spring, she’d be able to fill the basket to overflowing, but given it was still the tail end of winter, half a basket was doing well.
Distracted by her success, she nearly missed the white among the brown trunks. By the time she noticed the bear, he was already nearly close enough to touch.
Startled, she leaped back, only to freeze, staring at him. He remained carefully motionless, gazing back at her.
“I’m sorry,” he said in his rumbling voice. “I didn’t intend to startle you, but I wanted to speak with you directly.” He shook his head. “Clearly I should have spoken to you from the beginning. I apologize for that as well. I thought it would reassure you if I went about everything in the proper, formal way, but I can see now that…”
He let out a great whuff of breath. “I am aware it’s not a small thing that I’m asking. But I wanted to assure you of my sincerity, both toward you and with regard to the promises I have made. If you will agree to bind yourself to me, I will never harm you. Once we reach our destination, you need never even see me unless you wish it. And your family will live lives of comfort.”
She bit her lip, the thought slipping through her mind that perhaps the bear had come to carry her off by force. But looking into his eyes, she couldn’t believe it. Now that she was once again in his presence, she felt the same certainty as she had at their first meeting—he would not hurt her.
She felt something else too. The pull she felt toward him, the one that had made her consider running from her family to seek a grand adventure and the one that had made her sad at the thought of disappointing him, was even stronger than before.
“Thank you for your words, White Bear,” she said slowly, trying to work out how to phrase her objections without disappointing him further.
“You may call me Henry,” he said, cutting into her thoughts.
“What?” she asked, too surprised to formulate a more coherent question.
“Henry,” he repeated. “It’s my name. You may feel free to use it.”
“Your name is…Henry?” she asked, still a little dumbfounded. She hadn’t considered the matter of his name, but if she had, she would have expected something grand and foreign. “Are you sure?”
As soon as she asked it, she wanted to pull the words back. What a foolish question!
He made the rumbling noise that indicated his laughter.
“It is one of them,” he said.
She nodded quickly, eager to make amends for her unthinking words. “It’s a lovely name.”
He laughed again. “I have always liked it well enough. It’s a family name.”
She raised her eyebrows. Did he have parents, then? Were they talking white bears like himself? Family was another thing she had never considered in conjunction with him. She didn’t know how the magical creatures that dwelt with the High King came to be, but she had always imagined them springing to life at his command rather than being born in the ordinary way.
If he had once had a family and lost them, was that why he was so desperate for a family again—in any way possible? She softened, once again regretting the necessity of saying no.
If only he could have adopted her. But she was already eighteen, making that impossible. And she didn’t think there was a single family in the valley that would send their minor child off with a bear, regardless of the promise of riches.
“I’m the one who is sorry,” she said in a rush. “It’s not that I mistrust you or am unwilling to accompany you. It’s just…” She hesitated. “Are you sure the wedding ceremony is necessary? Could I not just travel with you as your companion without it?”
He winced. She had become so used to impossible expressions on his face that she barely even noticed the strangeness of it.
“Unfortunately, the binding is crucial,” he said. “But of course I understand your reluctance.” He gazed at her longingly. “I would assure you with every bit of sincerity I possess that your future is safe with me, but I understand the heart isn’t something that can be so easily governed.”
He slumped down, hopelessness in every line of his fur.
Alarm at his extreme reaction made her start forward. “Does something ail you?” she asked. “Surely your life cannot be in jeopardy and requiring this binding to save it?”
He hesitated, as if considering her words. Did he know that he only had to say yes to compel her to agree to his bargain? The inexplicable connection between them was strong enough that she didn’t think she could abandon him to die.
Eventually he sighed. “I fight for much,” he said softly, “but not my life. There will be no blood on your hands if you refuse.”
Charlotte knew she should have felt relieved, but she felt almost regretful instead. Had she wanted him to provide her an excuse to say yes?
She shook herself. She could not allow her thoughts to stray in that direction. She couldn’t allow the impulse of a moment to destroy her whole future. She had to stay strong.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered again. “I wish I could give you a different answer.”
“Once again, it is me who owes the apology,” he said, seeming to gather himself together. He bowed his head even lower than he had on the previous occasion. “Even your sympathy is more than I might reasonably expect.”
He turned as if to depart, only to hesitate and look back. “I told your father I would return in five days. I will be true to my word, but know that I will not pressure you. My offer, however, remains open until then.”
She nodded, unable to summon the right words, and he disappeared into the forest. It was going to be a long five days.