Chapter 37 #2
Had Igraine known what would happen, to her, to Katarin, to Arthur?
Her mother could have been a priestess of Inanna.
She walked in dreams. Had she seen what was coming?
Or were the words she spoke nothing more than the past and present blending together in the dream space?
There was no way of knowing. All Kat could do was keep the promise she had made and protect her brother.
As they approached the northern edge of the forest, the first glimpses of hard, dry earth came into view. To the west, the Nemhain Mountains pierced the sky and, leaning casually against the trunk of a tree, arms folded and expression unreadable, was Olwen.
Katarin dropped her pack in shock.
‘Well,’ Olwen said when Kat didn’t, couldn’t, speak. ‘Welcome back to me?’
Katarin retrieved her pack, willing the heat from her cheeks, and when she straightened, she lifted her chin and strode towards the Red Sister with all the false confidence she could muster.
‘Welcome back,’ she said, then turned to everyone else.
‘We’ll camp here for the night. Tents up this time,’ she added.
‘It’ll be cooler on the edge of the forest.’
She could feel Olwen’s eyes on her back but did not turn around, aware of the furious beating of her heart, the tightness in her chest, and the desert that lived in her mouth.
They set up camp by nightfall, and as soon as she could, Kat vanished inside her tent. Voices and laughter eased through the canvas and the smell of food soon followed, but Kat didn’t go out. Her stomach was a twisted mess, past and present and possible future all jumbled together.
She needed a moment to sort out her head before dealing with her heart.
Her tent was large enough for a simple bedroll on the ground, a small table and a chair.
Ordes’ conjuring skills were definitely useful.
She busied herself unpacking what she needed for the night – a bottle of rum, a glass, her pipe – and had arranged them all on the table when the flap of her tent shifted.
She didn’t need to look to know who it was.
‘Kat.’ Olwen’s voice was soft.
Kat positioned herself behind the table, pretending to be busy. ‘You had a good journey?’
Olwen’s chuckle ripped across the ground to burrow inside Kat’s chest. ‘A “good journey”?’ Another laugh. Kat sensed her come into the tent and swallowed, mouth dry.
What was wrong with her?
Olwen came closer, and Kat wasn’t sure she took a breath until Olwen’s dust-smeared boots appeared in her line of sight. ‘Since you asked, yes, I had a pleasant journey.’
‘I said good, not pleasant,’ Kat mumbled.
Olwen’s hand came to rest on the table. Her fingers trailed over the rim of the glass, tracing its curve gently, deliberately. Kat licked her lips.
‘Katarin,’ Olwen said softly.
‘What?’
‘Are you not going to look at me?’
Kat huffed a laugh, mortified to find she didn’t sound nonchalant, but nervous. Olwen placed her hand over Kat’s, the warmth of her skin instantly setting fire to Katarin’s flesh.
‘I missed you,’ she blurted.
Olwen’s fingers tightened around hers. ‘Did you?’
‘I did.’ Kat took a deep breath, then finally lifted her gaze. Any ideas she’d had about being aloof, about hiding what she felt the moment Olwen had returned, fled. ‘I did,’ she repeated, firmer this time. ‘I wasn’t sure you would come back.’
‘I had nothing else going on,’ Olwen said, smiling.
Her skin had darkened from the sun, and her hair hung in a messy braid draped over one shoulder.
Dirt smeared her cheek, and fresh freckles decorated her nose.
The corner of her mouth lifted into that crooked smile Katarin had missed much more than she realised.
‘I think I like you like this,’ Olwen said huskily. ‘All girlish—’
‘Girlish?’
‘—and stumbling over your words, afraid to look at me.’ Olwen’s smile grew.
‘I bet you spent hours – days even – staring out to sea wondering where I was, if I was thinking about you, if—’ She stopped, the playfulness slipping from her expression.
‘And the answer is yes, in case you’re wondering – I was thinking about you, too. ’
Kat’s cheeks heated but before she could say anything, Olwen released her hand and wandered away, collapsing onto the bedroll. Kat drifted over. ‘What happened out there?’
Olwen sighed. ‘I’m not sure. I brought back some of my Sisters and some shifters from Malist, a group of men who want to fight…
they’ll meet us further north.’ She chewed her lip.
‘While I went to the Ossuary, Iouen and the others went to Kunis and then went searching for the skinroamers. I haven’t seen them since. ’
‘You think something has happened to them?’ Kat asked. She crouched in front of Olwen. ‘I’m sure they’re fine.’
Olwen nodded but didn’t look convinced. ‘The Sisters in Malist told us that a group of men from the Sacellum fled after Medb’s attack and our victory. They went to Dinas Emrys, which means Mordred has Witchfinders and—’
‘We know,’ Kat cut in softly. When Olwen raised her eyebrows, Kat recounted everything that had happened since Olwen and the others had left.
‘Oh Kat,’ Olwen murmured. She reached over to run her fingers down Kat’s cheek lightly.
At the touch, Katarin wanted to burst into tears.
She held them back but felt her bottom lip tremble.
Olwen folded her arms around Kat and held her tightly and soon, against her will, Kat was crying.
Everything bubbled up inside her in a great wave she couldn’t control.
Olwen let her cry until she was empty of tears.
‘It’s stupid,’ Kat said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, ‘but everything is going to shit.’
Olwen’s smile was sad.
‘Is that what will happen?’ Katarin asked. ‘Is that what the Red One wants? For us to die for this new world?’
‘Whatever She wants, it doesn’t matter.’ Olwen’s voice was soft but firm.
‘The choice has always belonged to each of you, Kat. Ereshki may have planted the seeds, Merlin may have seen what was to come, but ultimately, this isn’t about what Old Ones or prophets want.
It’s about Arthur, Ordes and Jenyfer, and what they want – what we all want. ’
‘But this… war or whatever we want to call it with Mordred will happen, won’t it?’ Katarin asked.
‘It looks that way,’ Olwen said. ‘I don’t think even the Gods could stop this now. Mordred has set himself on a path he can’t be persuaded from.’
‘You’ve got a Red Sister with him, don’t you?’
‘We do.’
‘To spy on him?’
‘To try and guide him. She can’t,’ Olwen added. ‘So yes, this war will happen.’ She reached for Kat’s hand. ‘I won’t let anything happen to you though. I promise.’
‘I can look after myself,’ Kat said.
‘I know,’ Olwen replied. ‘But I want to look after you, Katarin Le Fey. Consider it my gods-given path.’
Kat pulled her hand free. ‘What the fuck does that mean?’
Olwen sighed. ‘It means I care about you and I don’t want to see you dead. Does it have to mean anything else?’
Katarin narrowed her eyes.
‘I know who you are,’ Olwen said, so simply it caused Kat’s heart to skip a beat.
‘I’ve always known. You are Inanna’s Chosen, but Kat,’ she said quickly, grabbing Katarin’s hand and pulling her down – Kat hadn’t realised she’d even gotten to her feet.
‘That is your choice and that is not the reason I am here right now with you.’
Katarin said nothing.
‘You don’t think you’re worth anyone caring about,’ Olwen said. ‘But you are, and if it’s the last thing I do on this earth, I’ll make sure you believe it somehow.’
Olwen’s fingers curled around Katarin’s cheek. Kat batted her away.
‘Is it that difficult to have someone care for you?’ Olwen mumbled, leaning over to kiss her gently.
‘Shut up,’ Kat said, grabbing her by the shirt and pulling her close. ‘No more talk of prophecies or Old Ones or any of that shit. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to think about it.’
‘Then what do you want to do?’
‘I want to feel,’ Kat whispered against Olwen’s lips. ‘And forget, just for one night.’
‘Then let me help you,’ Olwen whispered back.