Chapter 11
“ARE THERE stars tonight?” Cameron asked, a bit out of the blue. He had his knees on the chair looking out the back window, trying to see upward through the tree at the edge of the yard.
“I don’t know. Let’s go take a look,” Marty said, taking Cameron’s hand.
Dexter followed them out, but Grant was still in the living room.
He’d dozed off in the recliner, and Marty didn’t want to disturb him.
Grant was working so many hours, and Marty knew he hadn’t slept well the past few nights, so if he was resting, he wasn’t going to wake him.
“It’s getting dark,” Cameron said, and Marty turned off all the backyard lights. With the shadows of the houses nearby and the trees, the yard had very little light.
“Good. Come on.” Marty lay down on his back on the grass and Cameron did the same, both of them looking up at the sky.
Indeed there were stars, just a few to begin with, but as the evening drew to night, more and more began to show.
It wasn’t the complete carpet of stars that they’d see if they were out of town and the world around them completely dark.
Then, millions of them would blanket the sky, but it was enough, he hoped. “What do you want to see?”
Cameron lay still, which was something he rarely did. Now that he seemed to be coming more and more into his true self, at least part of the time, Cameron had loads of energy and was always moving. “I wanna see the daddy star. Can you show me?”
That was not something Marty was familiar with.
The back door opened and closed. Marty continued looking up as footsteps approached, and then Grant lay down next to him, taking his hand. “What’s the fun?”
“We’re looking for the daddy star,” Cameron told Grant.
“How do you know it’s the daddy star?” Grant asked in a whisper.
“Because it’s the one that Mommy gave to Daddy,” he answered, as though it made perfect sense.
“Oh. Your mommy and daddy gave each other stars?” Marty asked, and Cameron hummed his agreement.
“I don’t know which ones they are, but those stars are up there.
” He squeezed Grant’s hand and gathered Cameron closer to him, his head resting on Marty’s shoulder.
“They will always be up there. The stars are the one thing that stays the same. Every night they come out and twinkle for all of us. Sometimes we can’t see them because of the clouds, but they’re still there. ”
Cameron rolled on his side toward him and Marty held him. “I want my mommy and daddy back. I miss them.” He didn’t cry, but he sounded really sad.
He turned his head to look at Grant. “Do you think you might be able to find something of his parents?” he asked really quietly. “A picture… something?”
“I’ll try,” Grant agreed, and Marty stretched closer to kiss him, running his hand along his cheek. There was only so much he could do for Cameron, but Marty wanted everything that was possible for him.
“Look, a shooting star,” Marty said, and Cameron shifted onto his back to look. “Keep watching. They can show up at any time.”
“What do they do? Where do they fall?”
“They come back down to earth, and they bring special powers with them,” Grant whispered. “So when you see one, you close your eyes and make a wish. You can’t tell anyone what your wish is, or otherwise it won’t come true. And you only get one wish, so you have to make it a really good one. Okay?”
“Uh-huh,” Cameron said, and Marty smiled at Grant.
“Okay. So just watch,” Marty said, and they all lay still on the grass, Dexter stretching out between him and Cameron.
He didn’t want to think too hard about what all this meant.
It was too early. He was glad that Grant kept coming over after work.
He knew this was a very stressful time for him, and if he could help him, he would.
But Marty wondered about when things eased off.
Would Grant’s visits taper off as well? He was a good guy, Marty knew that, but things changed.
Just look at his own life. Not that he regretted stepping in for Cameron for an instant.
“There,” Cameron said excitedly, and sure enough, a meteor streaked across the sky.
“Close your eyes and make your wish,” Marty said as he closed his own eyes and made his own particular wish.
He was happy, lying out in the grass, the stars all twinkling above, Cameron on one side and Grant on the other.
He knew it was way too soon for him to want or expect things from this relationship…
if that’s what it was, but it was difficult.
So for now, he’d leave what he hoped in his wish. He’d have to see if it came true.
“What did you want?” Cameron asked Grant.
“You can’t tell,” Marty said. “That’s part of the magic. Now did you make a wish for Dexter? Dogs get wishes too.”
“Oh, I did. I wished that he would get a whole mountain of doggie bones.” Cameron giggled, and Marty figured he would begin to get restless, but Cameron stayed where he was, watching the sky, probably trying to see another shooting star.
“Do you get more wishes if you see more?” He was clearly looking very closely, his body filled with excited tension.
“Nope. Just one. You have to make it a really good one. But that doesn’t mean you have to stop watching.
A shooting star can happen at almost any time.
” He sighed and continued looking up at the stars, while keenly aware of Grant next to him.
Their fingers moved and did this little dance within each other’s palms, and Marty found himself closing his eyes so he could concentrate on the touch.
“There’s one,” Cameron said, pointing. “And one more.”
“Yeah. It seems there are plenty of them tonight.” He hadn’t bothered to see if they were in a period of more intense activity, but it seemed that Cameron had asked his question about the stars at just the right time.
“How big are the stars?”
“Well, the real stars are really big and bright. But they’re far away, so they look small,” Grant said.
“But the shooting stars, those are something very different. Those are rocks and bits of space stuff that get caught and turn to fire when they get too close to us. That’s why they shoot across the sky and then disappear, because they’re all burned out.
But it’s okay. Because I like to think that when you wish on one, it doesn’t burn out, but turns into your wish. ”
“But where does it go?” Cameron asked earnestly.
“The wish? It lives in your heart. It stays with you. That’s why you can’t tell anyone unless the wish comes true.”
“But what if you do?” Cameron asked.
Grant smiled and looked at him, those eyes so intense.
“Then I don’t know. My grandma used to say that if you told, the wish might die.
But I think it’s different. Sometimes sharing a wish with someone makes it stronger.
” Marty smiled. “See, if you find two people who have the same wish, then maybe they each make it stronger for both of them.”
“So it’s okay to say what your wish is?” Marty asked.
“I don’t know. My mom used to say that a wish that was shared was special. But maybe that was her way of getting me to tell her what they were so she would know what to get me for Christmas.” Grant snickered. “But that was a long time ago, and I don’t have a lot of wishes anymore.”
“I have lots of wishes,” Cameron said. “Lots and lots of them.”
Marty put an arm around Cameron. “Then you hold on to each of those wishes, because they are very important. Everyone deserves to keep their wishes and have them come true.” God, he wanted as many of Cameron’s wishes and dreams to come true as possible.
Hell, he wanted Grant’s wishes to come true too.
It would be easier if he knew what they were, but maybe he could guess about some of Cameron’s.
And as for Grant’s… well, that would take some time.
But he could be patient. Besides, finding out wishes and dreams could be a lot of fun.
CAMERON WAS in bed, and Marty and Grant sat on the sofa with Dexter near their feet, stretched out like he’d had a rough day. “I keep thinking about these boys, and I don’t know how to stop,” Marty admitted.
Grant hummed his agreement as he leaned against him.
“How did you deal with it when it happened to you?” Marty asked quietly.
“It took a long time. I always thought that I had done something wrong. That there was something about me that made him want to take me. That maybe I hadn’t been a good enough kid, so I was taken as some kind of punishment.
Of course that’s a whole bunch of crap, but kids tend to take things onto themselves.
As adults we let things run off our backs, but kids don’t. They take it all in.”
“How do I keep Cameron from doing that?” Marty asked.
“Whenever he asks, you tell him the truth, and make sure he knows that it was the bad man who’s at fault. That Cameron wasn’t to blame. Make him tell you that. He needs to say it, and he needs to believe it.”
That made sense. “Should I get him a therapist?” Marty asked. “I will get whatever resources he needs.”
Grant hugged him. “And that’s why you’re going to be up for foster parent of the year.”
“I don’t think I want that. Cameron needs permanence, and I need to ask Donald what I have to do to make sure Cameron stays here with me. I can adopt him, but that takes a long time and plenty of money.”
“Actually, it doesn’t. There’s no one who will step in for Cameron.
His family is gone, except for distant relatives who don’t seem to have an interest. The state is his guardian now, and it will remain that way unless someone steps in.
If you want to stay his foster parent, you could do that until he turned eighteen, and then he would age out of the system. ”