Chapter 12
. . . and how did you know that you and Simon were well-suited for marriage? For I vow I have not met a man about which I might say the same, and this after three long seasons on the Marriage Mart.
—from Eloise Bridgerton to her
sister the Duchess of Hastings,
upon refusing her third proposal of marriage
Eloise had time to breathe—barely—before his mouth came down on hers. And it was a good thing she did, because it didn’t feel as if he had any plans to release her until, oh, the next millennium.
But then, abruptly, he drew back, his large hands cradling her face. And he looked at her.
Just looked at her.
“What?” she asked, uncomfortable with his scrutiny. She knew she was considered to be attractive, but she was no legendary beauty, and he was examining her as if he wanted to catalogue her every feature.
“I wanted to see you,” he whispered. He touched her cheek, then smoothed his thumb down the line of her jaw. “You’re always in motion. I don’t get to just see you.”
Her legs turned wobbly, and her lips parted, but she couldn’t seem to make them work, couldn’t seem to do anything other than stare up into his dark eyes.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. “Do you know what I thought when I saw you the first time?”
She shook her head, desperate for his words.
“I thought I could drown in your eyes. I thought”—he moved in closer, his words now as much breath as sound—“I could drown in you.”
She felt herself swaying toward him.
He touched her lips, tickling the tender skin with his forefinger. The motion sent ripples of pleasure throughout her, right down to the center of her being, to places forbidden even to her.
And she realized that she had never really understood the power of desire until that very moment. Never really understood what it was at all.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
He smiled. “You always order me about.”
“Kiss me.”
“Are you sure?” he murmured, his mouth curved into a teasing smile. “Because once I do, I might not be able to—”
She grabbed the back of his head and yanked him down.
He chuckled against her lips, his arms tightening around her with uncompromising strength.
She opened her mouth, welcoming his invasion, moaning with pleasure as his tongue swept in, exploring her warmth.
He nibbled and licked, slowly stirring a fire within her, all the while pressing her closer and closer against him until his heat poured through her clothing, wrapping her in a haze of desire.
His hands stole around her back, then down to her derriere, squeezing and kneading, then tilting her up until—
She gasped. She was twenty-eight years old, old enough to have heard indiscreet whispers. She knew what his hardness meant. She’d just never expected it to feel quite so hot, so insistent.
She jerked back, the motion more instinct than anything else, but he wouldn’t let her go, pulled her closer and groaned, rubbing her against him. “I want to be inside you,” he groaned in her ear.
Her legs completely gave out.
It didn’t matter, of course; he just held her even tighter, then sank her onto the sofa, coming down atop her until the full length of him pressed her into the soft, cream-colored cushions.
He was heavy, but his weight was thrilling, and she could do nothing but loll her head back as his lips left hers to travel down the column of her throat.
“Phillip,” she moaned, and then again, as if his name were the only word left to her.
“Yes,” he grunted, “yes.” His words seemed torn from his throat, and she had no idea what he was talking about, only that whatever he was saying yes to, she wanted it, too. She wanted everything. Anything he wanted, anything possible.
She wanted everything that was possible and everything impossible, too. There was no more reason, only sensation. Only need and desire and this overwhelming sense of now.
This wasn’t about yesterday and it wasn’t about tomorrow. This was now, and she wanted it all.
She felt his hand on her ankle, rough and callused as it moved up her leg until it reached the edge of her stocking.
He didn’t pause, did nothing to implicitly ask her permission, but she gave it anyway, urging her legs apart until he settled more firmly between them, giving him more room to caress, more space to tickle her skin.
He moved up and up and up, pausing every now and then to squeeze, and she thought she might die from the waiting. She was on fire, burning for him, feeling strange and wet and so completely unlike herself she thought she might dissolve into a pool of nothingness.
Or evaporate completely. Or maybe even explode.
And then, just when she was quite convinced that nothing could be stranger, nothing could wind her even tighter than she was, he touched her.
Touched her.
Touched her where no one had ever touched her, where she didn’t dare touch herself. Touched her so intimately, so tenderly that she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming his name.
And as his finger slid inside, she knew that in that moment she no longer belonged to herself.
She was his.
Sometime later, much later, she’d be herself again, back in control, with all her powers and faculties, but for now she was his. In this moment, for this second, she lived for him, for all he could make her feel, for every last whisper of pleasure, each moan of desire.
“Oh, Phillip,” she gasped, his name a plea, a promise, a question.
It was whatever she needed to say to make sure he didn’t stop.
She had no idea where this was all heading, whether she’d even be the same person when it was done, but it had to go somewhere.
She couldn’t possibly continue in this state forever.
She was wound so tight, so tense that she’d surely shatter.
She was near the end. She had to be.
She needed something. She needed release, and she knew that only he could give it to her.
She arched to him, pressed up with a power she would never have imagined she possessed, actually lifting them both off the sofa with her need. Her hands found his shoulders, biting into his muscles, then moved down to the small of his back in an effort to pull him even closer against her.
“Eloise,” he groaned, sliding his other hand up her skirt until it found her backside. “Do you have any idea—”
And then she had no idea what he did—he probably didn’t know, either—but her entire body went impossibly tense.
She couldn’t speak, couldn’t even breathe as her mouth opened into a silent scream of surprise and delight and a hundred other things all rolled into one.
And then, just when she thought she couldn’t possibly survive even a second longer, she shuddered and collapsed beneath him, panting with exhaustion, so limp and spent she couldn’t have moved even her littlest finger.
“Oh, my God,” she finally said, the blasphemy the only words coursing through her mind. “Oh, my God.”
His hands tightened on her backside.
“Oh, my God.”
His hand moved, came up to stroke her hair. He was gentle, achingly gentle, even though his body was rigid and tense.
Eloise just lay there, wondering if she’d ever be able to move again, breathing against him as she felt his breath on her temple.
Eventually he shifted and moved, mumbling something about being too heavy for her, and then there was nothing but air, and when she looked to the side, he was kneeling next to the sofa, smoothing her skirts back down.
It seemed a rather tender and gentlemanly gesture, given her recent wantonness.
She looked into his face, knowing she must have the silliest smile on hers. “Oh, Phillip,” she sighed.
“Is there a washroom?” he asked hoarsely.
She blinked, noticing for the first time that he looked rather strained. “A washroom?” she echoed.
He nodded stiffly.
She pointed to the door leading to the hall. “Out and to the right,” she said. It was hard to believe he needed to relieve himself right after such a thrilling encounter, but who was she to attempt to understand the workings of the male body?
He walked to the door, put his hand on the knob, then turned around. “Do you believe me now?” he asked, one of his brows rising into an impossibly arrogant arch.
Her lips parted in confusion. “About what?”
He smiled. Slowly. And all he said was, “We’ll suit.”
* * *
Phillip had no idea how long it would take Eloise to regain her composure and restore her appearance.
She’d looked quite delectably disheveled when he’d left her on the sofa in Sophie Bridgerton’s little office.
He never could understand the intricacies of a woman’s toilette, and was quite certain he never would, but he was fairly sure she was going to need to redress her hair at the very least.
As for him, he required less than a minute in the washroom to find his release; he was wound that tight from his encounter with Eloise.
Dear God, she was magnificent.
It had been so long since he’d been with a woman. He’d known that when he finally found one he wanted to bed that his body would react strongly. He’d had more years than he’d cared to count with only his hand to satisfy his needs; a female body seemed like pure bliss.
And heaven knew he had imagined one often enough.
But this had been different, not at all what he’d pictured in his mind.
He’d been mad for her. For her. For the sounds that escaped her throat, for the scent of her skin, for the way his body seemed to fit perfectly in the crook of hers.
Even though he’d had to finish off himself, he’d still felt more, and more intensely, than he’d ever thought possible.
He’d thought almost any female body would do, but it was now quite clear to him that there was a reason he’d never availed himself of the services of the whores and barmaids who’d expressed their willingness. There was a reason he’d never found himself a discreet widow.
He’d needed more.
He’d needed Eloise.
He wanted to sink himself into her and never come out.