Chapter 15 #3
Neuberger turned to me fully. “Oh, and Mr Forrest. You’ll be glad to hear that we spoke to Mr Mottley. He confirmed your alibi. That you’d been together all night in his room at the Cock and Feather.” Neuberger smiled at me. I gulped and kept my eyes averted from Simon. Neuberger turned to him.
“Did you know about them? I wasn’t aware Mr Forrest and Mr Mottley had been dating. We were assured by both men that it was a one-time thing. But with Mr Forrest’s previous boyfriend, it makes sense to check.”
He nodded at both of us. “Thank you for your time. If we need anything else from you, we’ll call. Maslin,” he snapped.
They departed and I watched them go. Giving a big hearty wave as they left, though I wanted to give the bras d’honneur, but decided it wasn’t worth the aggro.
Their car drove off. I closed the door and turned to Simon. “At least they didn’t go in the living room and see all the bloody serial killer scribblings you put up yesterday.”
Simon stared into the middle distance, clenched his jaw. “I should go.”
“No, don’t,” I said. “We were talking about—”
Simon let go of Kenny, who instantly bounded around the house in an excited daze trying to jump on furniture and look out the window to catch a parting glance at his new friend.
He was avoiding my eye and shuffling his foot. “We should go see JedRev,” I blurted out.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” I demanded. “Because of Neuberger and his crackpot theories?” Simon said nothing. “Or because I fucked Errol? Really? You’re upset about that?”
“No!” He glared at me. “No!” he repeated even more vehemently. “Because this is stupid and you’re right about my serial killer scribbles. I’ve got myself all muddled up.”
He was looking everywhere but me. I sighed and rubbed my face.
“Then this has nothing to do with the police finding you here and trying to rile you? They were insinuating shit to try and get a reaction.”
“They don’t really have to insinuate with you,” Simon muttered.
“Excuse me?”
He flushed bright red. “Sorry, that was … uncalled for. Actually, no, it wasn’t.
You found Riz on your way back from getting ploughed all night by Errol?
Errol, really? He … he’s so smarmy. We were all desperately worried about you, but you went off and decided the best way to deal with your problems was to bend over for him. ”
Wow. Okay. People really had opinions on how I spent my time, didn’t they?
“First things first, I already said I screwed Errol, Simon, not the other way around – not that either way diminishes anyone. It’s called being vers, and it makes sex a lot more fun.
You should try it sometime rather than being too scared you’ll be one of ‘those gays’ if you take it up the arse.
It might help you be less of a grumpy bastard.
Second, how I process my private life …” My voice cracked and – dammit – Simon noticed.
I cleared my throat. “How I process my private life being splashed all over the fucking papers is my business.”
I didn’t mean to sound churlish, but not all of us were blessed with a George and Marion as our parents, so Simon could fuck off if he thought he could shame me for this.
Happy, middle-class Simon, with his – no doubt – nice four-bedroom family house, two cars, parents who knew his teachers’ names and holidays to France every summer, could go all the way to fuck if he wanted to judge me on how I coped with things.
The reality might have been different. But until I had tales of childhood trauma confirmed to me, I was going to internally assign him all the trimmings of a happy adolescence.
“And one more thing, you burst into my house and start spouting off ideas about this all being connected,” I said, getting to the crux of the matter.
“Okay, you may be onto something. If you can put aside your disgust that, yes, Simon, I have sex from time to time, we can get back to the matter at hand.” I thought of what Nigella had said yesterday.
It seemed to be the only thing to occupy him at the moment.
And, while I thought it was extremely unhealthy, it was better than stewing in his anger and sadness.
There was a very long silence.
He eventually cleared his throat. “God, I hate Neuberger.” He gave me a look – almost shyly – and a tiny flicker moved at the corner of his mouth. The hint of a smile.
“Oh my God, he is such an arsewipe,” I said. “What the hell was he trying to do? Insinuate that I put some kind of hit out on Riz or something?”
“Right?” Simon said, leaning down to stroke Kennedy, who had come to stand beside him. “Me being here probably played into some fantasy he’s concocted of us being accomplices.”
“It was all an inside job, with me and Suzy Rabbit, to get the Lib Dems a victory.”
At this, he snorted.
“Let’s go see Jed,” I said. “We can take our minds off this and remind ourselves there’s other shit in the world.”
He nodded. “That’s a nice idea. I’ve been ignoring Jed, and I feel terrible. He’s been good to me. He was the first friend I made when I moved to Lilbury.”
We began to get ready, and Simon continued to talk. “He was the one who told me about the rugby team in Compney that I joined, where I met Trevor and made a few other friends. He and I were drinking buddies for quite a while. It was through him that I became friends with Guy, too.”
“You didn’t receive the full Nigella when you arrived?” I asked as we headed out for my car, with Kennedy having a full meltdown in the background about being left at home. Oh, the howling, oh, the sulking. He would be in such a mood when I got home. But hospitals weren’t dog-friendly environments.
“No, the twins were toddlers when I arrived. It’s only the last couple of years that Nigella has had the free time to start being so sociable again.”
I can imagine twins in one’s late forties took it out of you. My heart hurt for her. She’d finally got the family she’d always wanted later in life, but it had helped drive her and Matteo apart.
We lapsed into silence as I started towards Bournemouth. I was self-conscious about my driving. “You can go a bit faster,” Simon said. “You’re barely doing sixty.”
“I’d prefer not to end up in the hospital next to Jed, thank you.”
He gave me a look and muttered something under his breath about ‘an old woman’ that I didn’t catch.
We fell into silence again, but this time less tense.
“Is that what you meant about the connection – earlier, you mentioned that JedRev and Guy were friends,” I asked.
“Is that how you think this could all be linked? What, people are attacking all the pillars of the establishment? Westminster, the C of E, and the landed gentry. Will we have to form a protective barrier around the Women’s Institute next to make sure no one tries to kill Margo Cadbury-Smythe? ”
Simon pursed his lips. “Would anyone miss Margo?”
“What? Simon! She’s my best friend.”
He chuckled. “I’ve already had to warn that new lady who moved into Arabella’s house to stay clear,” he said.
“Katrina? She’s really nice.”
Simon looked like he was going to say something, but then thought better of it.
Conversation was over after that until we reached the hospital. Simon had been texting Nigella on the way there for details of where to locate Jed.
We made our way to his ward and found a reception desk. The bored woman waved us through to a different section where there were only a few beds per room. “I love the NHS,” I muttered. “But thank God I can afford to go private.”
“Yeah, how rich are you?” Simon asked as we looked into various rooms. “Were you making fun of Neuberger earlier?”
“Er, Mr Anson, I thought that it was very un-British to ask about money.”
He shrugged. “I’ve lived abroad. Go on, what are we talking? Well-to-do middle-class, tech start-up entrepreneur, City banker, or children’s wizard book writer?”
I remembered the situation with my contract, and my chest tightened involuntarily. “Somewhere in between the two middle ones. If I lived frugally, I could survive off my savings, until, well, a pretty long time and never work again. Maybe. It depends.”
Simon whistled. “You’re a bit of a catch then.”
We came to the last room in the corridor, and I saw a couple in their seventies talking at the foot of a bed. “Let’s say that, if I wanted to, I could afford to have paid for everything Neuberger thinks I did have done for me without getting my hands dirty.”
Simon didn’t respond to that.
“I think this is his room,” I said. The couple were pottering around a man lying in the bed, slightly raised. “They seem like the sort of people who would have a vicar for a son.” I looked at Simon. “Have you met his parents before?”
“Once,” he said. “A couple of Christmases ago, when they stayed in the village. Not sure they’ll remember me.”
He cleared his throat and knocked on the door. It was then that I realised neither of us had thought to bring a gift of any sort. Simon entered, and I meekly followed, feeling self-conscious.
The woman, who had a kind face, rose to greet us. “Not sure if you remember me …” Simon said.
“Simon, Jed’s friend from the village. Of course, we do.” She held out a hand.
He gave it a hearty shake. “This is Arden, from the village as well and a friend of Jed’s.”
“Alice Fulford,” she said. “And this is Jed’s father, Harold.”
“Pleasure to meet you both,” I said. “So sorry about the circumstances.”
We both followed Alice over to Jed’s bed, where Harold was fussing around his son.
Jed was up and blinking. He looked gaunt, with reddy-brown stubble across his face, heavily mixed with grey. His skin was red and raw, and his lips were being dutifully attended to but were still chapped.
“Simon,” he said quietly, with the smallest of smiles.
“Hello, mate.” Simon came up to his bed and gently squeezed his arm. “Look at the state of you.”
“I know, I know,” he wheezed. “I’m a drama queen.”
I hung back. Not wanting to be involved in their moment. “Who’s that with you?” Jed whispered.
“It’s Arden,” Simon said.
I waved but stayed a couple of metres back by the wall. “Hi, Jed, good to see you recovering.” Jed gave me a smile.
He and Simon made small talk for a few minutes. The pair moved closer to one another, their heads together. I made polite inquiries to Alice and Harold and passed the time.
After several minutes, Jed clutched Simon’s arm, and we all started. Jed turned to his parents. “Mum, Dad, can I have a minute with Si and Arden, please?”
They looked worried at the thought of moving away, but Harold nodded and led his wife from the room. I gave my best smile to them as they departed before making my way over to the bed.
“Love them,” Jed said in his hoarse voice. “But Christ, they’re dull. Dying for a fag and a pint.” Simon looked unfazed by Jed’s abrupt change in demeanour, so apparently this was par for the course.
“Next, you’ll be complaining the hospital’s Wi-Fi has all the porn sites blocked,” Simon said.
Jed’s eyes widened. “I hadn’t even thought of that. Why would they do that to a man trying to recover?”
Simon shrugged. “Jed, we need to talk to you,” he said, becoming serious. “You need to tell us about that day. Is there anything you can think of that could help?”
Jed went to shake his head but thought better of it. The bandages that were wrapped around it hid his injuries mostly, but God only knows what mess his skull was in underneath them. His eyes were dark. They darted around the room far faster than the rest of his body could move.
He leaned back slightly and looked at the ceiling. “I’m sorry about Riz, Si, I really am. But … I don’t know anything else. I was in … I was in the church; I thought I heard Mrs Crocker. Then I woke up here. I can’t remember anything else.”
“It’s alright, mate,” said Simon.
“Don’t sound so happy,” Jed joked. “It’s a miracle I’m alive, you know.”
“There are many things about you that are miraculous, Jed,” Simon said. “But the fact that your skull is so thick that you can’t be killed with a blunt instrument is not one of them. Anyone who’s tried to explain the offside rule to you could have told the doctors that.”
Jed chuckled. But his eyes were wide, and his breathing laboured.
“I think we’ve tired you out, mate,” Simon said. “We’ll let you get your rest.”
We made to leave, but Jed clutched at Simon’s arm as we began to head out. “You know why this happened, don’t you?”
I looked at both men, but Simon’s expression was unreadable.
“What we did. We were always going to pay for it.”
“Okay, okay,” Simon said gently. “I think that’s enough for today. Don’t want to tire you out too much.” He removed Jed’s hand and gently tucked him back into bed. “I’ll come back in a few days and see you again, yeah?”
I hovered, hoping for more. What on earth could it mean? Was Jed delirious? Simon made the briefest of eye contact with me before turning to Jed and hunkering down beside him at the bed, their heads centimetres apart. He whispered something that I couldn’t hear.
After he’d finished speaking, Simon stood and ushered me out.
In the corridor, I desperately wanted to ask him questions, but the formalities of saying goodbye to Jed’s parents took precedence.
Several minutes later, we eventually made our way out of the building, and we were able to talk.
“What was that all about? What did he mean?”
Simon stared straight ahead as we walked towards my car.
“Simon?”
“Hmm? What do you mean exactly?”
“Er, about the whole ‘we knew we’d pay for it’.”
“I have no idea.”
“Surely …”
“Do you know how many painkillers Jed’s on? His brain is scrambled eggs. Poor guy. Might never be the same again.”
“Si—”
His phone buzzed. “Let’s get home, Mum’s getting worried again.” I stood in the car park and watched him. What the hell was going on?
He made it to my car and waited at the passenger door. “Well, come on, are we going?” he asked impatiently.
I fumbled for my keys. “Yes, yes, of course.”
We drove home in silence.
When we got to my house, Simon jumped out.
“Do you want to stay for lunch? We could order something and spit ball?”
He shook his head. “This was all a mistake,” he said, not looking at me. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m being crazy.”
“Simon,” I whispered.
He slammed the door – the window was open, and he leaned in.
“Listen, forget it, yeah? I think I’ll make myself scarce, Arden.
This is stupid.” He tapped the car door in a gesture of finality and then made off across the road to the path through the field.
I could see him shaking his head as he walked.
“Simon!”
He didn’t answer.