CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
SWEET AFTER ALL
My vision blurs. My hands cup my aching nose. Red lace gloves instantly become sticky, coated in blood, as scarlet as my mask.
“Mira.”
Everything is hazy. Flynn is shoving his father back and calling my name.
I see it happen, but it’s as though everyone around me is moving through honey.
“Remira.” Through the fog of my mind, Kaidren kneels before me. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” Blood spurts from my nose, making speaking difficult.
“Let me—” Kaidren reaches to touch me, and the world sharpens.
His hands are bare.
Panicked, I jerk back. “I’m fine.” My addled brain is working now. I’m in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by people who are all staring at me. Flynn has shoved his father away, and a few other Honorate are guiding him out as he flails belligerently.
Flynn comes to my side, hand outstretched. “Mira, are you—”
“I’m fine,” I repeat for a third time. I seize his hand and haul myself up. Keeping my hands pressed to my face, I rush out of the room. Whispers follow me. Someone calls my name. I don’t turn to see who.
I flee into the nearest washroom, breaths shallow as I slam the door behind me. My bloody gloves stain the wood red, so I peel them off.
Before I can bolt the door, it crashes open. I stagger back as Kaidren swoops into the room. His deep eyes are agitated as they look me over. “That’s a lot of blood.”
Did he come here to check on me?
I’m surprised and more flattered than I should be. My gloves are already ruined, so I use them as handkerchiefs and pack them against my bleeding nose. “It looks worse than it is.” My words are muffled and nasally. “Go back to the ball.”
He acts as though I haven’t spoken. “Tilt your head back.”
I’m confused, until I reluctantly do as he says—just to shut him up—and feel immediate release. My nose is still throbbing, but with less burning pressure, it’s easier to breathe.
“Better?” he murmurs.
“You don’t have to stay.”
“If you think for one second I’m going to leave you here, you’ve lost your mind. Now, stop trying to get rid of me and tell me if you’re feeling better.”
“Much.” I cast a glance around the washroom. “Can you bolt the door?” I doubt anyone will enter, but it will at least put some distance between us.
It works for about two seconds. He locks the door and immediately returns to my side. I keep my head tilted but press as far away from him as I can in this small space.
“This might work better than your gloves.” Kaidren raises a wad of gray fabric to my face.
“I can do it.” Clumsily, I snatch it and hold it to my nose myself. It’s only after the light gray material is drenched in my blood that I realize he’s given me his shirt, and is now wearing his jacket over his bare torso.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble. “It’s ruined.”
He chuckles. “It’s a shirt. I’ll live. How are you?”
“Fine.” I close my eyes, head still tipped back. “I just need a minute.”
“Of course.”
For two minutes, we don’t speak. I lower the shirt and cautiously tip my head to its normal position. There’s a faint dribble of red that I wipe away, but for the most part, the bleeding’s stopped.
“Thank you.” I ball up the bloody shirt and do my best to look anywhere but at him. With his unbuttoned jacket, bare chest, and bloodied knuckles, he looks a bit wild. And undeniably attractive.
My throat is dry as I force my gaze away from his exposed torso. “Why are you here?”
He looks confused. “You were bleeding.”
“So?”
“So?” he repeats incredulously. “So, I was worried about you. So, I wanted to make sure you were all right. You think I want to see you hurt?”
I use his shirt to wipe off the excess traces of blood around my nose. And to cling to an excuse to look away from him. “I think up until a few days ago, I was pretty sure you hated me.”
Kaidren chuckles lowly. He ducks his head to catch my eye-line with his.
“I still might. I’m not sure I know what hatred means anymore.
” He takes a small step forward, lowers his voice.
“I’ve come to hate a lot of things since I met you.
” Another step. “I hate your brother because, somehow, he doesn’t see you.
I hate your father, because you are the most formidable person I’ve ever known, but he makes you feel small.
I hate Selva Sixmen for putting his hands on you.
And I hate that you danced with Flynn and not me. ”
Kaidren advances steadily. Each declaration narrows the distance between us until I’m trapped against the basin and he’s standing between my knees.
“I hate myself, because I can’t get you out of my head.
” He rests one hand on the basin behind me.
The other on my waist. “And you . . .” The thumb on my side draws slow circles in the velvet.
“Maybe I hate you too. You are infuriating. You are vicious, remorseless, and maddeningly stubborn. You make me feel as if I’m losing my mind.
If I could think clearly, I might hate you for it, but now—now I don’t know why I’d want to be sane if it meant I couldn’t have you. ”
My heart hammers away as though it’s being chased. Maybe it is. Maybe it’s trying to flee from Kaidren, who means to capture it as his own.
My body is frozen still. Held captive by the searing heat and raw honesty of his brown eyes.
Kaidren stares at me like he’s searching for something. I have no idea what for, but he must find it, because the next instant, his lips are soft on mine.
I’ve never been kissed. I immediately see the appeal. At least, when the person kissing you is Kaidren Vale. His lips are gentle, yet urgent. They move against mine with a slow tenderness that makes my toes curl.
My hands move of their own accord, grabbing hold of the front of his unbuttoned jacket and drawing him closer.
Warmth pools in my stomach and seeps through the rest of me, thawing a secret place in my chest I tried like hell to keep frozen.
Magic. A different kind of magic than what I’m used to.
Magic . . .
Too late, I remember myself. Too late, I yank away.
The warm glow of the kiss is gone, replaced with horror.
Kaiden’s eyes open, dazed. Then they widen with shock.
Fear and panic fuse together, twisting my insides. From the moment we met, I’ve avoided Kaidren’s touch. I’ve pulled away, worn gloves, and evaded him like a coward.
Months of caution, rendered useless in a matter of seconds.
Kaidren finds his voice first. “You’re—” He flits through a thousand revelations, each plainly visible on his face. “Stars in hell, Remira. You’re the Shadow Queen.”