Chapter 1
It was a warm summer evening in the highlands, and Willa MacReive was walking in the gardens of her father’s home. Beside her was a man who claimed he would move the stars for her, if only she asked. Somehow, she just didn’t believe him.
She looked up at Colm, and he smiled and took her hand in his.
He was handsome enough, with his fair hair and strong features.
Most women would scratch each other’s eyes out to have such a man, she mused.
At least the women she had known in London would.
And so far, he had been gentle and patient with her, well, as much as could be expected.
Why then, was she not feeling the way she should?
Instead of happiness, she felt doubt. Instead of excitement, she was fairly certain she felt trepidation, as if her deepest instincts were trying to warn her.
Instead of love… nothing. She sighed. So that was it, then.
She didn’t love him now, and she never would.
She was through trying to ignore all of those instincts that were screaming at her to run the other way.
He had been courting her for weeks, but if after today she never saw him again, Willa knew she wouldn’t even care.
Her disappointment at the realization was mixed with an odd sense of relief.
Perhaps she had wanted so badly to be in love, to find someone to share her life with, that she had almost fooled herself for a time.
There was nothing else to do but to let him go; she wouldn’t hurt him by pretending any longer.
And she could not deny that she wasn’t even all that attracted to him.
She had already blossomed into the full flush of womanhood, with all of the feelings and needs that came with it.
The women of her family tended to be a bit hot-blooded, or so she’d been told, and she was no stranger to desire, or the hunger of her body for a man’s touch.
It was just that… Colm wasn’t the right man.
Every time he had tried to lie with her, she had refused him in the end.
The last time, she had really considered it.
Perhaps it was the intimacy that they lacked, maybe it would be good between them and then she would find it easier to accept her father’s choice of husband.
After all, what did she really know about such things?
Perhaps her lack of attraction to the man outside of the bedroom had no bearing on what happened in private.
She didn’t think so, but she had no experience to tell her otherwise.
But, it had been her fertile time of the month, and she could have gotten with child.
And then she would have been bound to him forever.
No… that had definitely not been worth the risk.
And there, yet again, Willa, is your truth.
Looking up at a movement at the edge of her vision, she saw her brother, James, ride in through the gates, strong and tall.
Her heart swelled with pride. Until a few short months ago, she didn’t even know she had a brother.
She had spent all of her childhood living in England with her Aunt Avida, and even her own father was a stranger to her now.
Her father had approved of the match with Colm, and perhaps a part of her had wanted to please him, to win his affection in some small way.
Her brother’s new wife, Maura, came out of the keep to greet him, and he practically leapt from the back of his horse to sweep her into his arms.
Her heart squeezed tight. I want that… I want what they have…
She looked up at the man that her father had chosen for her.
She was not foolish or naive. She knew her father had only accepted her back into the fold in order to use her as a political pawn, forging alliances and gaining land was all that mattered to him.
But she had few options if she wanted to survive in this world.
She could not go back to England; her aunt was gone.
She could not stay here, even though it had once been her mother’s home.
She had quickly discovered her father’s affections were not worth winning.
He would never hold any love for his daughter…
his heart was too cold and cruel. And… God help her…
she would not sell herself to the highest bidder.
She would not let that be her life! She had to at least try for something better…
though how or what… well, she would just have to figure that out later.
Colm pulled her to a gentle stop in the shade of a willow tree, and out of the corner of her eye she saw her father’s guards move to a new position across the garden. Colm saw them too and he frowned in irritation. “Am I never to have ye alone to myself?”
No, you foolish man, my father wants to be sure you do not run off with the prize without first giving him the payment. The thought suddenly made her sick. Her stomach twisted and she felt trapped like a rabbit in a snare, the need to escape making her heart hammer against her chest.
Colm took her by the arms and turned her so that his back was to the guards, and his arms slid possessively around her waist. When he bent to steal a kiss, Willa stopped him with both hands against his shoulders.
“Colm, wait. I… I can’t do this.”
He pulled back, surprised. “Lass, it’s only a kiss.” He nodded toward the guards. “They willna mind, ye ken that. I’ve kissed ye a hundred times before, in plain view.” He reached for her again, but she slipped out of his grasp and backed away a few steps.
And a hundred times I felt nothing… except perhaps annoyance that you were kissing me yet again.
“No, it’s not that. I… just don’t think… I’ve been having this feeling that maybe we’re not meant to be together”, she blurted out. She watched as his eyes changed, from soft and doting to disbelieving… to something else altogether. She took a nervous step back.
“What do ye mean, we’re no’ meant to be together? Ye ken I have asked for yer hand! Yer own father has blessed the match! Ye are as good as mine already, Willa MacReive, and ye must ken how lucky ye are to marry so well, considering.”
Hmmm… the doting part was obviously an act. Willa mentally gave herself a pat on the back for her wisdom in deciding not to marry Colm. Her instincts had been right all along. She would be sure to follow them religiously from now on.
“I can’t marry you Colm.” She shook her head slowly, taking another two steps back. “I know now for certain, it’s nothing personal, you are just not my destiny.”
Willa’s eyes widened as she saw true anger flash across Colm’s features; something dark and unwelcoming.
Frightening, even. If she had had any remaining doubts before as to the wisdom of her decision, they would have been gone in that instant.
She could see it in his eyes clearly now…
being wed to this man would have been hell on earth.
“What the bloody hell are ye talking about woman? Destiny? Yer only destiny is to be my wife! I have been a verra patient man, Willa. I’ve given ye plenty of time to adjust to life here, and this is how I’m to be repaid? Ye canna marry me because it isna yer destiny? To hell with that! I own ye!”
When his jaw clenched tight and his hands closed into tight fists at his sides as if he wanted to strike her, Willa pushed past him and ran for the door to the manor.
He grabbed for her, but the silken fabric of her gown slipped through his fingers.
She turned once to look back at him, but he had not moved from where he stood, frozen in fury.
She knew it was only because of the armed guards that he did not follow her, though she thought he was being overly cautious, because the guards worked for her father.
Deflowering her before the wedding was one thing…
beating her for insubordination quite another, and well within the rights of her betrothed.
“Goodbye, Colm!” she called, uncertain if he had heard her, but needing to make it official somehow.
There was no way she was ending up married to Colm, or anyone else she didn’t care for.
She would choose her own fate, take lovers that stirred her blood if it pleased her, marry when and where she wanted…
just as the women of her line had been born to do.
Powerful women, important and respected in their own right…
until her own mother had come under the thumb of the MacReive.
Willa was determined not share her fate.
Brave thoughts for one who risked death even now.
She reached the keep and ran inside and straight to her room, where she slammed the door closed and threw the bolt home.
She was going to escape, leave this place before it was too late.
She should have known better than to return with James in the first place, but she had so wanted to believe she could have a family and a home.
And really, where else could she have gone?
She collapsed on the bed and the tears came before she could stop them, hot and painful.
Had she really come that close to marrying Colm McTierney?
God! How blind she had been! Her father wanted her married off and out of his keep, this she knew.
He had always been distrustful of her Druid blood on her mother’s side, so much so that he had sent her away after her mother died.
Though she was hopeful that there would be a reconciliation with her father, she had known all along that he was only using her to forge a profitable marriage bond with the wealthy McTierney clan.
And Colm McTierney wanted her because she was the key to the kingdom for a second son, so to speak.
Since her half brother James had been accused by her father of being a bastard child and was never claimed, Willa’s husband would now inherit the lairdship.
Even knowing this, she had hoped that just maybe they would come to love each other and everything would turn out for the best. Her optimism had been greatly misplaced.
Childish, even. And she was no longer a child to have her life controlled by the whims of others. She needed to take control for herself.
Now she rolled onto her back, tears spent, and considered her options.
The only reasonable one she could think of was to run.
Now she only had to figure out how and where to.
She did not have much time. Her father was away from the castle at the moment on business with a neighboring clan, but he was due to return the next evening.
She could count on Colm speaking with him almost immediately, and so she had to be gone by then.
She wouldn’t put it past her father to lock her in her room until the wedding… or worse.
With her heart pounding in her chest, she swallowed her fear and packed her smallest trunk with a few necessities, only clothing and a few of her most cherished possessions, among which were a bracelet her aunt had given her when she was five, a little dragon whittled for her by a childhood friend, and a small packet of tea and spices filched from the pantry.
If she was going to be hiding out for awhile, at least she would have good food and tea.
Then she had one of the more trustworthy servants take the trunk out of the keep and hide it a few miles or so from the keep, just off the road near a long-abandoned croft.
It was a risk, to be sure, but she gave him a few coins for his silence, knowing that his silence would only have to last the day.
She would retrieve the trunk on her way, it was small enough to be strapped to the back of her saddle.
She did not go to the hall for dinner, but retired early, knowing that she would sleep fitfully, if at all.
Later that night, Willa woke with a start from a familiar dream, one that she had had many times in the past few months.
It was a portent; it had to be, and it had helped give her courage to stand up to Colm.
In the dream was a man, always the same man, though she could never quite see his face.
Still, she knew he had dark hair and the large, muscular body of a warrior.
Not Colm, thank God! This time she dreamt that the dark man was sitting in a chair before a dying fire, his head bent so that his hair fell forward to cover his face.
She walked toward him, drawn to him as if by an invisible string, her heart beating a staccato rhythm in her chest, and desire burning hot in her core.
She put her hand on his shoulder, and he tensed under her touch.
He spoke. “Stay away, Lass. My trouble is no’ yers to bear. Leave me be.”
In the dream, Willa reached for him anyway, determined to be the light to his darkness, knowing that she could, if only he would look up, see her, and all she could offer him.
She wanted to kiss him and then lead him to the bed across the room and make love to him, showing him with her body what she couldn’t seem to tell him with words.
But before she could do anything at all, the dream changed and she was floating, falling through a cloud of gray mist, frustration swirling in her mind because after all she had been just about to kiss her warrior, and she knew it would be like nothing she had ever felt before.
When the mist cleared, she was outside in a meadow, on a warm sunny day, with a breeze blowing her hair and carrying the scent of green grass and wildflowers.
She began walking, and suddenly strong arms grabbed her from behind.
Though startled, she was not frightened, because she knew it was him.
She laughed with joy and fell back against him, and he nuzzled the hollow of her neck with his lips.
“I’ve been looking for ye, love. Where have ye been?”
Just as he began to kiss his way up her throat to her jaw and she was turning in his arms to meet his lips with her own, she woke up, her breathing shallow and her heart beating way too fast. Damn it all to hell!
Just when it was getting to the good part.
This time she had been determined to kiss him for all she was worth, and more.
What on earth had woken her, besides plain, annoying bad luck?
Then she heard it, a muffled clattering, voices shouting.
She jumped out of bed and ran to the narrow window.
She could see the torchlight dancing around the corner of the west tower, where the noise seemed to be coming from.
She could also see shadowy shapes moving in the darkness farther away.
Men? Were they under attack? Suddenly there was a triumphant roar and the dark shadows were coming closer and she could see that they were men, hundreds of them.
And even in the flickering light she could soon see that they were wearing the bright yellow and red of the McTierney colors.
Her father had been double crossed. Colm was trying to take the castle, and with that many men, she had no doubt he would succeed. She was trapped.
Willa barely had time to panic before there was a pounding on the door. She jumped, turning from the window with her hands pressed to her chest. Oh god, had Colm come for her already?
“Willa? Are ye in there? It’s James, open the door!”
James! She ran to the door and with trembling hands threw the bolt and pulled it open. She had never been happier to see her brother.
“Hurry, Maura is waiting at the back passage with horses. We don’t have much time.”
He grabbed her arm and pulled her through the winding corridors and then, under cover of darkness, along the wall of the garden until they came to a little-used back entrance.
Maura was there astride a midnight black mare, holding the reins of two equally black horses.
James hoisted her onto the back of one, swung up onto the other, and they were off into the night.
Luckily, with people running from the castle in all directions, no one noticed them riding away, and even luckier, none of them were hit by stray arrows.
Willa swore she must have held her breath until the lights of the keep slipped out of sight and still there was no sign that they had been followed.
A mile from the keep, Willa slowed for only a few moments to leap down and grab her hidden trunk and quickly strap it to the saddle, amazed at the providence that had led her to hide it there. She didn’t know where she was going, but at least she had extra clothes and her hairbrush.