Chapter 5
Lorali
L orali pressed the spare metal key into Eldric’s palms, curling his fingers over it as she sent him off from the small side room they’d entered that morning. Her hands didn’t shake, but her throat was tight as she bit her lower lip nervously. They were testing the limits of their bond—how far could it be pulled and bent? What were its limits? They’d have to discover for themselves.
“What if one of us is suffering the consequences, but the other isn’t?” Eldric murmured, still dazed from his encounter with Lord Athanasios.
“I’ll come home, or you’ll come here. We’ll find each other,” she said with more confidence than she felt.
“I could…” his voice trailed off, hesitating.
“Stay here?” Lorali shook her head. “Do you want to be at my side for the next year? We don’t know the rules—we’ll have to push until we break them to find out. See what we can tolerate. ”
Eldric winced as he pocketed the key. “I’d rather not relive that pain ever again if I can help it.”
“I know,” she agreed, lips pressed tight together. “We won’t let it get that bad.”
Planning was the only thing they could do in the face of the unknown. She couldn’t stand the thought of not knowing the limits of their new arrangement. She tried to reassure him, reaching out tentatively to touch his arm, but retracted the hand hastily.
“We’ll figure this out,” she promised. “It will be okay. But I have to go now. I—”
Eldric’s jaw tightened, his voice strained. “Right. Summoned by the archcleric.”
Lorali nodded, turning to leave before Eldric reached forward and grabbed her hand.
“Don’t be too late,” he said. Her heart stuttered, a small flicker of warm flame passing between their joined hands, those matching markings they had received from the dark god branded upon their physical forms.
“I’ll try,” she said, despite knowing she couldn’t keep that kind of promise. The Order came first, always. She turned, passing through the door and making her way toward the archcleric’s study. After a few heartbeats, she felt like a tether between them was being pulled taut. Pulling her chest in his direction. As if her heart was walking away with him.
***
The temple’s basement was dark, lit only by the steady, cool light of the lucernas ensconced upon the wall like jewels mixing with flickering candles surrounding her desk. Her mind switched between research on the gallows bond and her ideas for Veridian, unable to stay focused on one task for long before her attention was pulled. She was isolated from any hint of sunlight and only the sound of pages flipping filled the silence.
Despite the ache that crept into her chest, she pushed through to focus on her work. Determined to ignore how she felt tugged in one direction, called to follow the pull so she could rid herself of the dull throb that settled within her. She knew it was the bond. Throwing herself into her work, she would do anything to keep her unfocused mind away from places it did not need to wander.
She did not think about how they had sealed the bond. Could not think about how it had severed their connection to the dark god’s realm, returning warmth to their bodies. Would not think about how Eldric’s arm pulled her closer or the way he had kissed her back like she was air and he the flame. Lorali dropped her burning face into her hands and shut her eyes tight, pushing any such thoughts to the farthest edges of her mind.
“Don’t want to spend time with your husband for the honeymoon?” Heinrich called, bearing gifts of soft cheese and fresh bread to fuel her studies. She couldn’t help but smile at the spoonful of red pepper jam he had stuffed onto the side of the small plate for her, knowing it was her favourite. A sigh escaped her lips as she held out her hands for the offering from her friend with a smile. It was the first food she had seen all day, too focused on her studies to move from the spot she had sat in for the last several hours. Her stomach growled in protest of its starvation.
“We may be bonded, but we are not actually married, Hein.”
“That kiss said otherwise.” He raised an eyebrow, turning the seat across from her backwards and draping himself over the back of the chair, fanning himself mockingly. “Even I was getting hot and bothered by it. That man looks like he’d be an excellent—”
Lorali slammed the book shut, her chest rising and falling as color rose to her cheeks. “And we’re done with this conversation. ”
Lorali picked apart her bread, spreading the soft cheese and topping it with the jam before savoring her first bite. Heinrich’s expression softened as he stopped his fun.
“I’m just saying, Lor, this might not be a bad thing. Unconventional, yes, but not necessarily bad. You’ve been alone, stars, the entire time I’ve known you. Even if it's not romantic. Having some kind of partner outside of the Order is more of a blessing than you even realize. It gives you perspective, helps you grow and learn.”
“There’s a reason high clerics don’t often have connections outside the Order,” she said slowly. “We’re overworked and constantly absorbed in our duties. An outsider would never understand. While we may be bonded, that doesn't mean we owe each other anything.”
“He owes you everything. More than he can ever repay,” Heinrich said, bristling. “You saved him, gave him a second chance at life, are opening your home and your life to him.”
“And did I ever ask him if that was what he wanted?” she asked. Tears stung behind her eyes and her throat tightened as her worries bubbled their way to the surface. She felt that tug in her chest once more, as if their bond needed to remind her it was there. “No, I made an impulsive decision and dragged him into this mess. He would never have chosen this if I hadn’t forced his hand. ”
“You saved a man’s life, yet you make it sound like it was something selfish.” Heinrich’s gaze softened, his pale palms enveloping her hands with a squeeze. Lorali fell quiet at that, eyes fixed on the candle flame before her as she tried to keep the tears at bay. Silence settled between them once more and they stayed like that, in comfort.
“Do you think he deserved to die?” he finally asked, voice hesitant.
Her throat bobbed and eyes closed as she shook her head. Unable to give voice to her thoughts. She thought that the Order and the guard were wrong to put him to death. He had only ever served Athera, in his own way, when the city’s council wouldn’t. Heinrich was the only one she could ever confess this to. He smiled, knowing.
“Neither did I,” he whispered. “I’m glad you saved him, and I’m sure many others in the city are as well. Don’t use your good deed as an excuse to tear yourself down, okay?”
Lorali nodded with a sigh as he patted her hand.
“Congratulations on being chosen as the Sun Bearer, by the way,” Heinrich said. “What an exciting day for you—got yourself a husband and a promotion.”
Lorali's questioning gaze snapped to his. It hadn't been even an hour since she left the archcleric's office where she’d been appointed as the next Sun Bearer—charged with organizing the next Veridian celebration and guiding Ostara back with the growing sun come next spring. It was a massive undertaking that would keep her, and Eldric, close to the Order for the next year.
To be chosen was to devote oneself wholly to Ostara, requiring immense and meticulous preparation. It was one of the highest honors bestowed within the Order, one she had only dreamed of receiving. Now the opportunity tasted sour, as if it were given to her out of necessity rather than deserved.
She couldn’t help her faint smile at his antics, though, knowing he was trying to lift her spirits. “How’d you know?”
“I know everything that goes on within the Order, Lorali. You know that by now,” he said with a wicked grin, eyes gleaming in the lowlight as he sat back. “I think you will host one of the greatest Veridian celebrations of our time.”
“Better than yours?” she teased.
“Better than mine,” he said in earnest.
Together, Lorali and Heinrich worked in tireless tandem to research and begin the first stages of planning. They worked until the sun fell and the moon rose and the stars shone bright overhead, unaware of it all in the windowless basement. Time passed only in candles burnt to waxy puddles, cooling and sticking to the whorls of wood grain.
Heinrich finally forced her to leave, knowing she didn’t have the power to stop herself from continuing on to her own detriment. The trek to her house had never felt so far, that dull throb from before having turned into a full pounding that demanded attention. She knew the path home, but even if she had been blind she would have been able to follow the pull of the tether that was leading her to him.
She walked up the path to her cottage, the loam dormant as winter ended and spring began. Unlocking the door, she stumbled into the house, tripping over his muddy boots.
“It’s about time you showed up.”
Eldric’s voice carried from the kitchen along with the mouthwatering scent of savory onions and pungent garlic mixed with herbs and earthy mushrooms.
“I know, I’m sorry,” she apologized, kicking off her shoes before making her way to the kitchen. He had made himself at home in her cottage, finding pots and pans she rarely used since she often ate food at the temple. “You cook?”
“You get good at it when you’re trying to avoid the law. Needed something to distract myself from this torture you’ve subjected me to today,” he said as he took a bottle of her favourite wine and poured it into the sizzling pan, scraping up the brown bits into the sauce. A sound of protest died in her throat as he kept talking. “You don’t have a lot of food here, which is saying something coming from me, but I made do.”
“You’re awfully judgmental for someone who is cooking with someone else’s food,” she grumbled. “How about some apology tea? Maybe it’ll help alleviate the pain,” she offered, already moving to gather her ingredients.
“You could call it apolo- tea ?” he hedged, making her groan. Eldric chuckled as he turned back to the wood fire stove.
“I’d be delighted to have more of that brew from yesterday.”
“Sure, let me just grab—” Lorali turned to the cupboard that held her small collection of mugs, dismayed as she opened it and realized she’d forgotten—“my mug. How did…?”
She blinked, her favourite forest green mug sitting freshly washed in the cupboard. Picking it up, she turned it over carefully in her hands, feeling the weight of it, the familiar grooves and divots pressing into her hand. She could have sworn she’d forgotten it at the temple .
“You left it in the windowsill by the door we came in. Thought you might forget it, so I grabbed it on my way out.”
She stood, speechless. Marveling at the mug as if she had not used it faithfully for the last five years. The amount of times she had left it was embarrassing.
“Thank you,” she said, a small smile tugging at her lips. She had been right—a man of honor. No matter how he might try to deny it, there was a good person beneath it all. Small kindnesses for strangers spoke more than any grand gesture ever could.
“Don’t mention it,” he said, keeping his eyes on their meal.
Lorali scooped dried flowers into a strainer, then reached for the half-full kettle of water she always kept on the stove, hot from his cooking. Her hand pressed against his back to keep her balance as she reached around. The instant her palm made contact, her mind cleared, that throbbing pain gone and chest feeling lighter.
“Holy gods,” Eldric gasped.
Lorali blinked, hand hovering over the kettle, the other pressed against him. Clarity was an amazing thing she hadn’t realized she’d begun to miss since they parted.
“I think—” she stopped, removing her hand. She groaned as the headache slammed into her with such intensity it sent her hand to his back on instinct; anything to keep it at bay.
“Is that from you?” he asked, hesitantly. She could feel his muscles, still and tense, beneath her palm. As if one movement would bring everything back.
“I think so, let me just see—”
“Lorali don’t—”
But her hand was already off him, the pounding pain back, rebounding bright behind her eyes. She felt two strong hands on her arms, pulling her back from the pain that left them both breathless.
“—do that. Don’t do that,” he finished, eyes boring into her own with such intensity she couldn’t look away.
“I’m sorry, I just—” she began to sputter.
“I know,” he breathed, fingers flexing gently around her arm. “You’re trying to find some kind of control in this situation. I get it, I really do. But your experiments affect me too. Let’s try not to play with all the bells and whistles of this bond right at the start. We have time to figure this out.”
“Okay,” she whispered with a nod. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think of it like that.”
“It’s okay,” he said, mouth slanting into a half smile. “This must be why it’s called a gallows marriage. We’re going to look like an old couple to everyone else. ”
“Must be.” She agreed, peeking around him at the food that was beginning to char. “Your food is burning.”
Eldric cursed, twisting to look at the food then back to her.
“Don’t let go, I don’t want to deal with that again,” he said, putting her hand on his side. “Keep a hand on me until we have time to sit down and think.”
When she nodded, he turned, her hand running across his abdomen before it settled in the small of his back. With the other, she reached around him to grab the kettle, pouring hot water into the teapot so it could steep. She stood slightly to the side, watching him cook with fascination, turning such simple ingredients into something she could only assume would taste delightful.
“So,” he drawled, not looking at her as he flipped the meat in the pan. “Are we going to talk about...?”
“The kiss? Nope,” she said with a shake of her head, face heating at the thought of it.
“Got it, got it...” He trailed off, his eyes following the thick god-scrawled lines that connected at her finger.
“I didn’t realize we’d be getting matching tattoos.” He chuckled, her soft laugh matching his own.
“No, neither did I.”