8. Daisy
Chapter 8
Daisy
I put food out for Cat, the mangy feline Jace had started feeding, then I made bacon, eggs, and toast. I also set out some strawberries I found in the fridge, because after my workout the last thing I wanted to do was eat more of the processed pastries I’d been wolfing down the past three months. I had no idea how much I weighed and I didn’t care, but my body had felt slow at the gym, weighed down both by grief and the fact that I hadn’t been taking care of myself.
It hadn’t seemed important before. Why bother when Jace was dead?
Now I was angry at myself for wasting so much time. If I wanted to find out who had killed Jace, I needed to get my shit together. I needed to go back to eating the food my body needed to be awake and alert, needed to get more exercise and fresh air and sun, needed to stop sleeping all the time.
I thought of my dad. His insistence on discipline — on eating healthy food, on setting goals and working hard to achieve them — had seemed militant when I was younger.
Now I realized I could use it.
“This is amazing,” Otis said, digging into the eggs.
I smiled and wondered if smiling would always feel strange, like I was a puppet and someone else was pulling the strings on my face. “It’s just eggs.”
“I know,” Otis said. “They’re amazing.”
“Sorry I haven’t cooked in so long,” I said, guilt weighing on my chest.
I wasn’t the only one who’d been suffering. Wolf and Otis (I hated that I couldn’t think of them as the Beasts without Jace) had been cooking for themselves, eating takeout and junk food, keeping things together while I’d been MIA.
Wolf reached over to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “We don’t expect you to cook for us, sunshine.”
“It’s part of our deal.”
I’d agreed to provide room and board to the Beasts in exchange for their help fixing up the house. All a ruse, obviously, to find out if they’d really killed Blake. Somewhere along the way it had turned into a lot more than a mutually beneficial working arrangement, but our original agreement lingered in my mind.
“You don’t think we’re still here because of that stupid deal, do you?” Otis asked, plucking a strawberry from the bowl.
“No, but it was part of the agreement.”
“Fuck the agreement,” Otis said.
Wolf’s piercing blue eyes shone with humor. “Yeah, fuck the agreement.”
“You’ve kept up your end,” I pointed out.
While I’d been out of it, they’d continued their work on the house, painting and repairing plaster and refinishing floors. The only big thing that was left was the kitchen. That and the decorating, which was my department.
“We’re not keeping score, doll.” Otis had almost cleaned his plate and was polishing off a piece of toast smeared with strawberry jam. The kitchen had been surprisingly well stocked considering I could barely remember shuffling through the grocery store with them.
I bit into a strawberry and savored the explosion of sweet juice in my mouth. It felt good to eat real food, fresh food. I’d need to make a grocery list, go to the store. I was suddenly craving oranges and crisp local apples and salads loaded with veggies. Maybe I’d make a pot of soup using one of Joan’s recipes. She made the best soup.
I pushed my plate away, got up to pour a fresh round of coffee, and grabbed myself a giant glass of water for good measure. Then I sat down and looked at Wolf and Otis.
“What’s been happening?” I asked. “While I’ve been… gone.”
Wolf tapped his fingers on the kitchen table. “Not as much as we’d like. We’ve been following up on something from Calvin’s phone — and Aloha has Blake’s — but other than that, we’re stuck.”
“What kind of something?” I asked.
“A bar in Glenville,” Otis said.
“What about it?” I asked.
“Blake mentioned meeting someone there in a text before he died,” Wolf said. “It might be nothing, but it’s all we’ve got, so Otis and I have been taking turns casing the place, hoping something — or someone — turns up.”
“How long have you been doing this?”
Otis shrugged. “About five weeks. It took us that long to get our heads straight.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry I’ve been so checked out.”
It was unforgivable. Wolf and Otis had been caught with Jace in the fire at the Blades compound. They’d had to make the decision to leave him there when he’d ordered them to save themselves for me.
Wolf frowned. “Nothing to be sorry for, sunshine.”
“I…” I took a deep breath. “I haven’t been here for you the way you have for me. I’ve been selfish.”
It hadn’t felt selfish to withdraw. It hadn’t even felt like a choice. I’d just tipped over into a black hole so deep and dark it had blotted out everything, even my love for Wolf and Otis.
And I did love them. We didn’t feel complete without Jace, but I loved Wolf and Otis with every bit of the heart I had left.
Wolf squeezed my hand on the table. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”
I looked at him, then Otis. “Are you? Really? How are…” I had to pause to catch my breath. Even talking about Jace’s death threatened to bury me under a fresh mountain of darkness. “How are you both doing?”
“We’re good,” Otis said. “Really.”
I nodded and retuned my gaze to Wolf.
“It sucks not having him here…” Wolf said. “But we’re staying busy with the house and trying to figure out who’s behind the kidnappings, especially after the most recent girl went missing.”
I’d read about her — a twenty-one-year-old bartender from Carlton — when I’d gotten the breaking news alert on my phone but hadn’t been able to think too hard about her kidnapping. Thinking about it meant acknowledging that whoever was snatching (trafficking?) girls was still out there.
That Jace had died for nothing.
But my head was clearer now. Whoever had killed Jace was behind the missing girls too.
Solve one mystery, solve the other.
My mind felt rusty, like an old machine creaking to life. “How long has Aloha had Blake’s phone?”
“A few weeks,” Wolf said.
“Do you think he’s done with it?” I asked.
“No idea. Why?”
“I don’t know…” I’d been kidnapped right after I found Blake’s phone. There hadn’t been time to dig into it. Then, after the Beasts had rescued me, it hadn’t seemed like there was any point. I’d gotten the information I’d wanted: proof the Beasts had killed Blake. “I’d like to look through it. Maybe there’s something there.”
“We searched it before we gave it to Aloha,” Otis said.
“I figured, but I want to look at it anyway.”
“You think you’ll find something we didn’t.” Wolf wasn’t asking a question. He was following my train of thought.
“Maybe?” I sighed. “I don’t know.”
“It’s not a bad idea,” Otis said. “You probably knew him better than anybody.”
“I doubt that.” It was hard to feel like I knew Blake at all now, but we’d been family. We’d shared history and vacations and memories. “But I’d still like to take a look.”
“We’ll talk to Aloha,” Wolf said, “see if he’s done with the phone.”
“Thanks.” I stood and took my plate to the sink, then walked to the terrace doors to slip on the shoes I kept there. “I’ll be back.”
I wasn’t surprised they didn’t ask where I was going. They knew.
I was going to see Jace.