Chapter Forty-Four
“Lady Lark, you have visitors,” Stevens announced while Sarah was helping her prune the indoor plants. Frances hadn’t dared go outside yet, lest Nathaniel have a heart attack, but there were potted specimens in the conservatory and various guest rooms that could always use some care.
“Suttons don’t need introductions, or my approval, Stevens, they are always welcome.”
She assumed he was verifying that she was well enough for visitors, which was probably Lizzie’s doing, because Stevens’ loyalty was never in question.
“It is your sisters, my lady, not Lord Lark’s.”
“My sisters?” she verified, turning to Sarah to see if this was some trick they were playing on her.
“Shall I tell them you are out?”
“No, of course not, show them to my sitting room, please.”
“I’ll order a tea service.” Sarah went off, but Frances couldn’t help but wish she had reinforcements, considering her last encounter with Iris. Unless perhaps it was just Mary and Daisy, which might lift her spirits. She should have asked how many sisters were here.
Nathaniel was out with his brothers today, so Frances walked into her sitting room alone, to find all three of her sisters, who stopped talking the moment she walked in. Clearly an excellent sign.
“I’ve ordered us tea, and Mrs. Mulberry will surely add sweets, unless you prefer something savory?” She played hostess, because it was easier than playing the sister, now she knew how siblings could be.
“Sweets are perfect,” Mary assured her.
“I wasn’t aware you planned to be back in the city.”
“We were on our way home,” Mary started, looking to the other two like she expected them to jump in.
“But we heard that you were unwell,” Iris admitted.
“How would you—”
“Mrs. Brown told me, and I informed them,” Daisy explained.
That made sense, as far as how they found out, but Frances couldn’t imagine Iris caring enough to make the journey to check on her recovery. Had she still been ill, Mary’s appearance would have been less surprising.
“That’s very kind of you, but as you can see, I am perfectly well.”
Granted, she had tossed her accounts that morning, but Sarah assured her it was because Mrs. Mulberry added mackerel to her toast to help her regain her strength, and not a sign of relapse.
Frances, however, was secretly hoping it meant she was with child.
It was too soon to tell, though her courses should have come by now.
She was resisting the urge to tell Sarah, afraid that saying it out loud would somehow make it not so, but the last thing she wanted to do was even hint at it with her sisters.
“We are very glad to see it.” Daisy smiled, but all three of them looked apprehensive. Which was odd, because she didn’t think anyone was forcing them to be there. If anything, Frances should be the uncomfortable one.
“We also wanted to see how you were. In general. Overall.” Mary swallowed, then looked down at her hands.
“Is this some prank yet to be played?” Frances’ hand was shaking.
She wanted to be strong and unaffected, but given the recent disappointments she’d suffered in her marriage, she didn’t think she could sit through more of Iris’ cruelty.
Especially not if she’d somehow convinced Mary and Daisy to play along.
“No, not at all,” Daisy said quickly, but before she could explain what was really happening, the tea service was brought.
Were her sisters here together to inform her of her parents’ passing?
Frances feared she may toss her accounts all over if that were the case, given their last interaction.
It was better for her well-being to not be in their presence, but was she okay with her father leaving her house in a fury as her last memory of him?
Her tea sat untouched in front of her while she wrung her hands out in her lap, wishing Nathaniel was there, if only so he could take her hand to stop the shaking.
“We came to apologize,” Iris said once the room was clear. “Me most of all.” She sighed and closed her eyes, then looked Frances straight on. “I’m sorry I have been awful to you. Mary and I discussed it, and…I was jealous. Not that it’s an excuse, but—”
“You were jealous of me?” This was how she knew her sister was lying, and something terrible was going to happen.
“Marigold was my best friend, and I adored her. Idolized her, even, and she doted on me like I was the center of the universe,” Iris continued.
“I thought a new baby meant I could be a big sister like Marigold, and you would adore me, but Mama kept me away for fear whatever you had was catching. Only Marigold ignored her and spent all her time with you, making sure you were cared for. I think the first terrible thing I did to you was tell Mama what Mary was doing, but no one stopped her, and Marigold, for the first time, was stern and cross with me, and I decided then that I hated you and couldn’t wait for you to be gone.
Only you never left. You were always there, with Mary constantly reminding me to mind Frances, she needs our protection, poor Frances, and I only ever saw what an inconvenience that was to me.
So I tried to win my big sister back by turning the world against you.
When that didn’t work, at least I made sure Daisy knew what was what and…
” Iris took a breath and wiped an actual tear from her cheek.
“I can’t even list all the wrongs I’ve done to you, but I want you to know that I am sorry, and that you are not the unwanted and unloved person I made you feel like you were.
I just believed the only way to make people love me was to ensure they didn’t love you. ”
“I…”
Frances was speechless. There were a great many things Iris could have said. Announcing she was the new queen of England and could walk on water would have been less surprising than that confession.
“I’m sorry for going along with it. And for taking forever to realize it wasn’t true, that you are a wonderful, kind-hearted, smart, and generous sister.” Daisy had tears in her eyes, but it was difficult to make out because Frances’ eyesight had gone blurry, possibly from her own tears.
“And I am so sorry that I never stopped treating you like the poor little infant who couldn’t survive on her own.
I tried to protect you and make others do the same, because you were my little sister, and you were my responsibility, but I never took the time to see you for the woman you became.
To trust that you were capable of defending yourself, or deserving of love and respect because of who you are as a person, not because of your relation to me,” Mary finished.
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“When we heard you were sick, we feared that we would never have the opportunity to tell you all of this. We know it may take some time before you…if you ever forgive us,” Mary said. “But we didn’t want shame over our pasts to prevent us from doing better from now on.”
“You’ll never guess where I’ve been,” Frances said, walking right into Nathaniel’s study where he was pretending not to wait for her.
He had wanted to go after her the minute Stevens told him who she left with, but Sarah suggested he wait.
He was so startled by Frances simply entering instead of knocking or waiting for him in the sitting room, that he’d grabbed his father’s old pipe to look busy.
Not only were pipes and tobacco not a habit he enjoyed, but the pipe in question hadn’t been used in years.
“Where have you been?” He took his feet off the desk and put them on the ground, but the sight of Frances had knocked the breath right out of him.
She was flushed, as if she’d run straight from the carriage to see him.
He could scold her for the million ways she risked a relapse on her adventure, but her joy was so unbridled that he told himself tomorrow was another day.
He could be the Nathaniel she needed, at least for a moment.
“Promenading with my sisters. All three of them. And I enjoyed myself. Even Iris said nice things to me. Not just that weren’t mean, but actually kind.
” She stopped herself and brought her hand to her face, as if embarrassed about interrupting him.
“I’m sorry, this is trivial matters and childhood feelings, while you are clearly working. ”
“There’s nothing trivial about your feelings.
” Since he was clearly not working, he assumed her change of heart had more to do with remembering how cold and distant he had been of late.
With good reason, whether or not she understood, but he could never forgive himself if he caused her to go back into her shell. “I’m eager to hear all about it.”
She recounted how all three sisters apologized and promised to make amends for how they’d treated her in the past.
“Once I realized their apologies were genuine, I assumed it was a temporary truce, something they felt compelled to do because they thought I almost died, but there were so many opportunities for them to say terrible things to me, or point out my flaws, and they didn’t.
It felt like…not quite like your siblings, because you are always teasing, but I felt like one of those girls in the dress shop. ”
Frances had tears in her eyes, and he wanted to take her in his arms, kiss them away, and tell her how beloved she truly was. Instead, he gave her his best smile and said, “I’m glad they’re finally realizing how truly extraordinary you are.”
“Marigold was surely behind it, but just the fact that she thought of it, and somehow got through to Iris without making her get all defensive and blame me for it.”
“That’s what older siblings are for,” he agreed.
“How was your day?” Frances looked nervous, now the excitement had worn off. This was the first time they’d had a decent conversation since her illness.
“It was…fine,” he decided. “We went to the club, then had tea at Wiltshire Manor. You were missed.”
“By whom?”
Their eyes locked. He knew what she was asking, and he knew how he’d felt without her, but of all the promises he might break, he could not hurt her.
“Everyone.” He chose the safest answer. “I’m afraid I will never be enough for them now that they have you.”