Chapter Eight
Gerald had left nothing to chance. He wanted the picnic with Selena to be perfect. As usual, Mrs. McDonald’s enthusiasm had made him smile.
“I’ll prepare all yer favorites, milord,”
she’d said. “And I’ll make my special lemon curd cake that the young miss will surely enjoy. “This will be a special day, indeed!”
Mrs. McDonald had truly outdone herself preparing a repast of cold roast chicken, thinly sliced cold roast beef, cheese sandwiches, fresh rolls, pickled cucumbers, dried dates, and nuts along with a variety of sliced cheeses, peach preserves with clotted cream, apple tarts, and to drink, lemonade, and wine.
Gerald put the last paint touches to the gazebo and stepped back to scrutinize his work. The transformation of the dilapidated gazebo into an elegant structure that could be enjoyed throughout the year was just one of the many changes he’d tackled over the past six years, and the result pleased him immensely.
Months ago, Gerald had contemplated tearing it down and starting fresh. But he’d so admired its unique windowed hexagon design that boasted a 360-degree view of the grounds, including an incredible variety of trees and the shimmering pond that was home to many species of waterfowl, that he decided to renovate the existing structure instead. Upon closer inspection, he realized that other than peeling paint, the frame was in good condition. His renovation plans included adding glass windows that would help draw in heat in the colder months and keep the rain out as well. He’d even included a modified wood stove that vented outside. He was so engrossed in thought that he didn’t hear his estate manager approach.
“I’m glad you disagreed with my suggestion to tear it down,”
Connery said, his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Frankly, I’m amazed at what you’ve done in such a short time.”
Gerald smiled. “Thank you. I suppose timing is everything, as they say. The old gazebo had good bones—much of it was built with tongue and groove. It needed a second chance.”
Much like the second chance Bellwood had given him.
“Aye, and you’ve accomplished a great deal with Bellwood,”
Connery said echoing his thoughts.
Connery opened the door and looked inside. “You’ve outdone yourself, son. Even the furnishings look as though Mother Nature herself designed them. The table is unlike anything I’ve ever seen — a wooden table intentionally painted white and then, weathered to look old.”
“I owe that to Anna and Mrs. Evans. It seems the two of them have hidden decorating talents. They found the old, discarded table in the attic. Mrs. Evans decided a white table that appeared aged would be appealing and easier to maintain in the gazebo. It was sanded and painted and then…”
He scratched his head. “She said she used a dry brush to age it.”
“I’ve never seen that before, but I like it. The pastel blue ladder chairs are also a nice touch,”
Connery added.
“Yes. I was unsure of her directions, but since I invited her to help me, I let her do what she wanted, thinking I could always change it. She decided plump cushions would make the chairs comfortable and they could be stored inside the house. Anna thinks the whole effect, especially with the crystal and lace tablecloth, is enchanting,”
Gerald grinned. “Speaking of looking enchanting, I better head back to wash and change before Anna arrives,” he laughed holding up his paint-stained hands.
“I’ll get out of your way,”
Connery said with a wink. “Save me an apple tart.”
Gerald chuckled as he withdrew his pocket watch and checked the time. In two hours, Anna would escort Selena to the gazebo. And then he would tell her everything…
Gerald could have rivaled his prized racehorse Aphrodite in his rush to bathe and change for his lunch with Selena. He’d rushed back just as Mrs. McDonald and Mrs. Evans were finished setting the table and laying out the platters and plates of food. He thanked the two older women, with a kiss on their cheeks. They fussed over him and made sure his cravat was perfect.
Mrs. McDonald and Mrs. Evans were like two dear aunts, who had not only supported him but had taught him a great deal about the domestic side of running an estate. He was glad of that knowledge, and everything else he’d learned over the years, all part and parcel of him leaving his youthful indiscretions behind and taking control of his life. He’d need to rely on everything he’d learned to tell Anna what he needed to say.
His stomach churned with anxiety as the significance of today’s lunch meant a lot to him. It was a pivotal moment, and he was determined to make amends for his past behavior towards his betrothed. Had he not been so preoccupied with his resentment toward his father for arranging the engagement when they were children, he might have recognized the preciousness of Selena’s presence sooner. Despite his inner turmoil, he managed to it back well before Anna escorted Selena to the gazebo.
Gerald perused the bounty of food dishes on the long table set against one wall of the gazebo. He hadn’t known what to ask Mrs. McDonald to prepare. Given Selena’s amnesia, he couldn’t ask her what she liked. But the cook felt sure the menu of his favorites would please his betrothed. He hoped she was right. He turned to admire the dining table. Mrs. Evans had outdone herself by creating a rustic centerpiece of wildflowers, juxtaposed by elegant china and delicate crystal glassware.
He rubbed his hands together In anticipation. He had just enough time to light the wood stove before Selena arrived.
Closing the wood stove, he heard soft feminine laughter and stepped outside to watch as Selena and Anna approached. His breath caught as he beheld Selena’s striking beauty. How could he have not seen the promise of who she’d become? He’d been such a buffoon. He realized it was because he had been searching for every reason not to like her. He had gone out of his way to spoil anything related to their engagement, including ruining her Society debut.
Shame tightened his chest as he remembered what Selena had witnessed in the Adamson’s garden that night, six years ago. Lady Adamson’s bruised lips and disheveled appearance had left little to the imagination. Even though his rendezvous with Lady Adamson had been part of a stupid bet with his friends, Gerald realized there had been a darker reason for that night and all his shenanigans back then. He’d known he could be discovered but he’d been driven to take that risk to punish his father for betrothing him to a woman, not of his choosing. All he could focus on was undermining everything that his father had taught him, while completely disregarding the feelings and needs of an innocent sixteen-year-old girl who had essentially been placed in the same situation as he, through no fault of her own. Not only did he need to apologize to Selena, but he also had to atone for his horrendous behavior.
Selena’s eyes widened and her lovely smile beamed. “What an enchanting place,”
she said with a soft gasp.
“Aye, truly enchanting,”
Anna said, exchanging a wink with Gerald.
“Thank you, ladies,”
Gerald said. He was having trouble holding onto a thought as he beheld his betrothed. “You look lovely, Selena.”
“Thank you,”
she breathed, blushing prettily. Anna created this lovely gown for me.”
“You have a true gift, Anna,”
he said. Gerald made a mental note to compensate her for her fine work. The gown could rival any London modiste.
“Thank you, milord. Enjoy your picnic.”
Anna grinned, dipping a curtsey before withdrawing.
Gerald turned back to Selena. He could not help admiring how the blue floral print gown enhanced the color of her eyes. “You are a vision.”
“Thank you, my lord.”
Selena blushed again.
How he loved making her blush.
She smoothed the skirt of her gown. “I think I owe it all to this gown, it’s as lovely as anything I’ve ever owned.”
“Anything you ever owned?”
he repeated.
Selena looked stunned. “I…I don’t know what made me say that. Do you think perhaps my memory is returning?”
“I pray it is so,”
he said, taking his hand in hers. “You don’t know what stirred you to say that?”
“I think I must favor blue. Perhaps that could be it,”
she said, worrying her lower lip.
He tucked her arm through his. “Your memory will return. I am sure of it.”
And when it did, he would find out what Percival Bowles had done to her. And make him pay.
Gerald helped her up the low steps into the gazebo.
“Oh, how lovely,”
Selena said as she turned in a slow circle, taking in the interior. “Tis even more magical inside.” Her gaze met his. “You did all of this for our picnic?”
Gerald nodded. “Come let us enjoy our feast.”
They walked to the food table and Selena gasped at the array of dishes.
“Oh, my!”
she said, “The food looks scrumptious. How could you have known lemon cake is my favorite?” She shot a surprised look at him. A soft gasp escaped. “Wait…How did I know that? What if I am getting my memory back?”
A smile curved his mouth. “I am sure of it,”
Gerald said. A wave of guilt washed over him. If her memory returned, she would recall how callously he’d behaved toward her the night of her debut.
He needed to tell her the truth about that night. He hoped she would still look at him the way she was now.
Gerald handed Selena a plate and assisted with her selections. He was pleased that she wanted a little of everything. It was no surprise, considering she’d only had broth for days. Her appetite was an indication she was on the mend. She was no shy-miss about eating what appealed to her and he loved that about her.
He carried their plates to their table and held her chair for her.
She took a sip of wine and glanced back at the buffet.
“Is everything all right?” he asked.
She leaned in and whispered, “That lemon cake really does look tempting. Would you think badly of me if I ate that first?”
she asked. “I want to be certain I have room for it.”
He answered with a soft laugh. “No, I don’t mind at all. It happens to be my favorite as well. Honestly, I love the idea.”
He got up and retrieved two slices of cake.
“I’ll pass on the other sweets for now,”
she said before tucking into the lemony dessert.
Her tongue flicked over her lips, and he found himself mesmerized. Realizing he was staring, he forced his attention to his plate.
Get ahold of yourself man, you’re not some schoolboy nursing a first crush. “Perhaps this would be a good time to apologize to her,”
he thought. His behavior in a different gazebo six years ago hung like a cloud over his head and he would like nothing better than to move past it. Just as he was about to apologize, a sudden shower, caught them both by surprise, considering it was still sunny.
He stood and helped her to the door, instinctively knowing she would appreciate the sight of the sun shower. He unlatched the door and opened the top half.
Selena took a deep breath of the rain-filled air. “How beautiful…Everything is glowing.”
Rain showers make everything smell so fresh.” He watched her face as she gazed out at the view outside the gazebo. “Look how the sun is pushing through the rain, almost as if they are trying to outdo each other.”
Had the sudden sun shower been some sort of sign that he should wait to apologize? “There had been no signs of rain,”
Gerald said. Its timing created almost a divine diversion. While he was usually happy for any diversion, the sun shower seemed a good sign that he should tell her.
He cleared his throat. “There is something, I’d like to talk to you about Selena. Something important.”
He helped her back to her seat.
“What is it you need to tell me, Gerald?”
She smiled, giving him her full attention.
She was straightforward and guileless—something else he liked about her.
His stomach churned nervously. “I’d like to apologize to you,” he began.
“Apology?”
she arched a delicate brow. “You have been nothing but kind since I arrived here,” she said. “You saved my life. I feel safe with you.”
Her openly adoring gaze took his breath away. God, I was such a heel. Despite that, he forged forward.
“You are perfectly safe; however, I have not always been kind. The last time we saw each other was six years ago. At the time, I was not ready to marry and rebelled against my parents over my forced betrothal. Unfortunately, I did that without giving any thought to how my actions would make you feel. That night we were to meet in person, for the first time since we were children, was at the Adamson ball. Despite our betrothal, we were virtual strangers. Which was why our parents had wanted us to meet. You were sixteen, attending with your parents. It was your first London Season. But that same night, I’d made a bet with my friends. A stupid bet. We bet how long it would take Lady Adamson to proposition each of us.”
A flush infused Selena’s cheeks but she nodded for him to continue.
“Lady Adamson was thirty years younger than her husband and quite frankly, well known for her various liaisons. That night I won the bet. And the prize was a rendezvous in Adamson’s garden at the ball. At the same time, my parents and your parents and you were taking a stroll through the gardens…”
Selena’s eyes widened. “Ohh…I see…”
Gerald nodded. “We were discovered. My parents, your parents, and you came upon Lady Adamson and me engaged in a rather animated embrace in a gazebo.
“A gazebo…”
“At the time, I froze. I looked at you and you were so young, so innocent. But I was too selfish, too rebellious, too immature... His face felt hot. For the first time in his life, Gerald realized what real shame felt like. “I should have apologized to you and your parents back then. In person and in writing. But I didn’t—I was a cad and a scoundrel. It was only when my father banished me here…”
he spread his arms gesturing around him, “that I began to grow up and become the kind of man, who I hope is worthy of you.”
“I deeply regret my actions—for embarrassing my family and causing insult to yours. But most of all, I am so sorry for hurting you.”
He looked into her beautiful eyes, now shimmering with tears. “I hope you can forgive me,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I hope you will allow me to atone for my past and I hope you will continue to accept me as your betrothed…”
Selena listened and remained silent for a while after he finished speaking. Finally, she took a deep breath and released it slowly. “While I agree that you were selfish and brash, and hurtful. But I am thankful for your honesty with me today. And I believe you have spent a long time thinking about your past and changing your life.”
She reached out and laid her hand over his. “You have opened your home and your heart to me. I may not have my memory, but I have a sound mind. And I see a good man before me. A man who is respected and beloved by everyone who works for him. A man who sat by my bedside all night and cared for me through my fever. I see a man who has gone to so much effort to please me,” she said in a husky voice, her eyes brimming with tears. “I don’t think our futures should be defined by mistakes we made in the past. Even though, I cannot remember that night, I believe that should my memory return, I will feel the same as I do right now…I forgive you, Gerald.
My God, she is incredible. He didn’t deserve to be betrothed to her, but he would do his damndest to make sure he never hurt her again. “Selena, I just want—"
“Hush.”
She smiled, placing her finger on his lips. “No more apologies. You are forgiven.” Then, she looked up at him. I want to know more about you, Viscount Lawrence…the man you are today. That is what is important to me. Now, tell me more about this lovely estate that you have worked so hard to renovate. What do you love the most about the work you do here? What are your goals for the future? What do you enjoy doing most in life? Tell me anything and everything. With my memory gone, I’m still trying to figure that out about myself, although I think it has something to do with the outdoors. But it’s my sincere hope that we can have something we enjoy in common.”
Gerald slanted his head and looked at this beautiful woman across from him. He was certain most women would have slapped him across the face and walked away from him, but not this one. Instead, she had given him grace. What mattered to Selena was the here and now. This slip of a girl who couldn’t remember her past. Perhaps that’s what should matter. In just a matter of days, Selena Bowles had completely upended his life. She was the most incredible woman he’d ever met. His anxiety had calmed, and his heart felt lighter. “Horses,”
he answered.
Tell me about your racehorses,”
she said. “They are such noble and kind animals, I should think it would be most exhilarating to watch them race.”
“More than you can imagine,”
he said. “One day I’ll take you. And they are, indeed, noble.”
“Have you won any races?”
“I have.”
He grinned. “When my father banished me here, he essentially challenged me to do something useful with my life. I was resentful at first, but then I realized he was right and so I set out to meet his challenge and hopefully build something I could be proud of…and perhaps make my father proud of me too. Over time, and with Connery’s guidance and wisdom, I learned a lot about raising thoroughbreds and racing them. I suppose you could say I developed a passion for it.”
“I am certain your father is proud of you,”
she said softly.
Gerald swallowed the lump in his throat as he gazed at her lovely face.
“I would love to meet all of your horses—”
Selena’s eyes suddenly widened at something over his shoulder.
“Is everything all right?”
“Yes, something is quite wonderful,”
she said pointing to the pond beyond the window. “A pair of swans, Gerald. May we take a closer look?”
“Of course.”
Grinning at her enthusiasm, he stood and taking her hand, helped her up and escorted her out to the pond. The grass was damp, but not muddy given the rain had stopped and the sun was warm.
The swans glided side by side, leaving a slight ripple in the surface of the water. The symbolism of the pair didn’t escape him. Swans mated for life and the duo in the pond appeared to have built their nest nearby.
Selena turned to Gerald, her face aglow. “Isn’t it the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen?”
“ You’re the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen,”
he whispered. He tipped her chin up and slowly lowered his mouth to hers. Her lips were soft—almost silky against his own. A sweet sigh escaped her as he deepened the kiss. He could feel the soft tickle of her breath beneath his nose as the tips of his fingers twined in the loose dark curls framing her face. In that moment, time stood still.