Chapter Five #2
Her eyes rounded as she gasped. “You want an engagement with me? I’m not even part of the beau monde.”
It was the first tidbit she’d let slip about herself. How… interesting. “Perhaps, but I need to know about you, Miss March.”
“It’s Eloise, and you haven’t earned that right or my trust.”
“Fine.” A growl exited his throat as annoyance climbed his throat.
“If you want to start this relationship ugly and raw, I can do that.” The more he stared at her, saw the hardened points of her dark pink nipples through the thin cotton of the shift, the more lust consumed him.
He tightened his grip on the cane, but his control rapidly slipped away.
It was only a matter of time before he acted the beast.
Again.
“You can’t keep me here without talking to me, James. Regardless of what you think you want from me, life doesn’t work that way. People will worry over my absence.”
The sound of his Christian name in her tone felt decidedly odd and rather lovely at the same time. It left confusion in its wake. He shook his head. “I decide what happens between us! Can you not understand that?”
She huffed. “And I’ve grown weary of being told what to do.
I am tired of men who think to order me about, taking what I never would have given…
” Her voice broke as she shook her head.
“I’ve been treated like rubbish for the past three years, for one reason or another, and it stops now. I said no, Your Grace.”
The small tremor in her voice at the end sliced straight through his chest, stirred the vulnerability within him, and he didn’t want to dwell on that just now.
Instead, he chose in that moment to pounce.
Seconds later, she was in his arms, and he brought his lips crashing down on hers, needing to lose himself, to not remember.
Unexpectedly, he welcomed the feel of her velvety lips against his, the way her soft curves brushed his body when she squirmed in his hold, the violet scent that lingered on her skin. More importantly, she allowed him a much-needed distraction from the dark thoughts that usually occupied his mind.
Not that forcing himself on this woman was any better.
She planted her palms to his chest and tried to push him away. “I don’t want you.”
“That matters not.” God, everything about her was maddening and arousing.
The fear returned to her eyes as he easily overpowered her and shuttled her across the floor toward the end of the bed. “Don’t do this.”
James grunted. “I told you yesterday I wouldn’t fuck you, but I will today. It’s time to claim my soon-to-be bride.”
I’m such a prick.
Yet that wasn’t enough for him to stop careening down this path. It was the type of man he was by this point. No turning back, right?
Eloise shook her head. “I don’t want that, don’t want you.”
It stung, but then, if the positions were reversed, he would say the same. Hell, he didn’t even want to be himself most times. “I’m beyond caring.”
Though she didn’t put up as much of an intense fight as she had yesterday, that spirit was still there and he craved it, wanted to draw it out to make what he was about to do more exciting and perhaps acceptable… might help to make him feel alive for the first time in far too long.
At the very least the act might prove pleasurable for her.
Again and again, he moved over her mouth.
Little by little, she yielded, opened for him.
He lost no time in deepening the kiss until their tongues thrust and parried, and in the process, they fought for dominance of the embrace.
Or else she tried for an escape. Neither of which he gave her, but it was refreshing to interact so closely with someone.
With desire and commonsense crashing through his veins, James reeled her closer to his body, tangled his fingers in the dark waterfall of her hair, and once more, he kissed her, perhaps to teach her a lesson, or punish her, perhaps to torture himself, but mostly to tell her without words that he was in control, and he wouldn’t tolerate her going against his wishes.
In anything.
“I… I can’t…” Her words didn’t evolve into full sentences between kisses, but her hands rested on his chest, her fingers curling into his lapels. Clearly, she was as confused by everything as he was.
There was a certain odd comfort in that.
Little by little, she ceased to try and break from his hold.
Instead, Eloise kissed him back with surprising intensity.
Small victory, that, for he didn’t trust her not to harm him as she’d hinted at earlier, but when the urge to claim her grew stronger, he tugged on her hair, lifted her chin, and took full advantage of ravishing her mouth.
How the hell had he thought her not in his usual style before? She was like food presented to a man starving. Could she satisfy his appetite, though?
When he desired more access to her body, he wrenched away only to move his hands beneath her shift.
As he cupped her breasts, squeezed them, rubbed the pads of his thumbs over her nipples to encourage them to harden, she made a sound of protest or encouragement, it was difficult to tell; he only knew he wanted the release.
“Don’t…” The words faded as she tried to push him away, but that only stoked the fires of need building within him. “Don’t be like them…”
What the devil did that mean? Not wishing to delay this session with conversation, James pinned her between him and the frame of the bed.
It took little effort to shove a knee between her thighs to hold her in place, and continue to bedevil her breasts and nipples.
When her eyelids fluttered closed and her lips parted slightly as a half-stifled moan escaped, he allowed himself a faint grin.
It seemed the woman wasn’t as immune to his plans as she wanted him to believe. “Remembering what we did yesterday?”
“Don’t be more of an arse than you can help, Blackhawke.” Yet she squirmed against him to grind upon his knee. “And you did that to me; I didn’t participate, couldn’t while bound.”
“I needed to feel in control.” It was good that she used his title, for it stopped this act from being too intimate, but the fact she seemed to need an outlet as much as him spurred him onward.
“I’m far from an arse. Rather, I am the beast everyone likens me to, and there is no redemption waiting for me.
” The admission came out before he could recall it.
“After I’m done with you, perhaps I’ll finally find some relief from the darkness that plagues me. ”
A gasp left her throat as she stared up at him. “You will kill yourself.” It wasn’t a question.
“Time will tell.” He wasn’t proud of it, but there was nothing for it.
Not wanting to lose momentum or her attention—or himself to his horrible thoughts—James moved her over the floor to the side of the bed where he pushed her torso over it, bent at the waist. Since the bed was elevated and she was only of average height, she had no choice but to balance on her toes in order to remain upright.
When she trembled, he frowned. “Are you not curious about this act?” Raw desire graveled his voice as he slipped a hand over one bare arse cheek. Damn, he knew nothing about her.
“I…” She panted as he continued to fondle a breast with his other hand. “Nothing good comes from a man forcing himself on me.”
God, her tart mouth was as maddening as her curves yet her words gave him pause. “What has occurred in your life to make you fearful and untrusting of men? Did your fiancé beat you?”
“No. Jean-Claude was everything lovely.” Eloise glanced at him from over her shoulder while trying to squirm out of his hold. He wrenched the fabric of his front falls until all the buttons slipped from their holes. “You are nothing like him, will never be.”
“Ah, a paragon.” Jealousy speared through his chest. As his hardened shaft popped free of the fabric, he was only granted temporarily relief. “Well, after this, you won’t remember him, I’ll wager.”
“Why do you act like a beast, I wonder?” she asked with narrowed eyes. “The only thing you’ve done since I arrived here has been ordering me about and forcing unwanted physical attention on me. What are you hiding from?”
“Why do you assume I’m hiding?
“Because everyone is. Hiding from truths and secrets they’d rather not share with the world.”
“That is none of your concern. I’m far too broken to be pieced back together.” Regardless that he yearned for such a thing. Her prying provoked him to the point of insanity.
She huffed. “I don’t want you this way or any other.”
Anger crashed into desire to form the perfect storm.
“Unwanted, hmm?” Then, nearly out of his mind, he gripped her hips with enough force to no doubt leave bruises and forced her thighs apart, aligning the head of his prick with her opening.
“Prepare yourself, Miss March, for I’m about to claim you. ”
“But I haven’t—”
“I don’t care,” he growled in interruption. The need pulsing through his member eclipsed anything else, even her warning that she’d never been with a man. Dear God, he wanted to leave his mark on her so that she wouldn’t forget him once he left this world.
Except her memories of him would be of a beast…
With a powerful thrust of his hips, he penetrated her body.
A tiny, whimpering cry came from her, and what was more, she wasn’t an innocent.
Shit. What was her story? Then he put the thought from his mind for later.
“You are mine, Eloise, at least for the foreseeable future.” Once more he stroked into her body, and the act of watching himself glide in and out of her tight warmth made him want more.
“James, please…” Sounds of either denial or encouragement came from her, but it was difficult to tell with her face pressed into the coverlet and mattress tick.
It didn’t much matter; there was no going back.
Another shove into her passage had one of her feet lifting off the floor.
The sound of crying came from her and still he pummeled into her because he couldn’t stop, needed that outlet, craved something to help him to cope or at the very least, encourage him to remain in this world.
Despite the fact he was nearly gone and the urgency surging through his prick had grown overwhelming, he wanted to grant her at least something.
“It’s almost over,” he whispered as he wrapped an arm about her hips, and when his fingers found the curls shrouding her sex—the curls so damned wet from arousal—he encouraged the button at her center out of hiding while he ceased his movements still buried deep inside her.
“Let me see you fall over the edge.” Emotion he refused to acknowledge graveled his voice.
“Have you always been a complete arse?” She lifted her head, tried to squirm away, but he wouldn’t let her go.
“No.” He doubled his efforts to bring her over that edge. “Life took much from me, and then I ceased caring.”
“That is no excuse for essentially raping me.”
Choosing to say nothing, James tormented her button with varying degrees of friction. When a muffled scream wrenched from her throat and her body stiffened seconds before she hit release, he grinned. “Don’t lie and tell me you’re not enjoying this, though.”
“Bastard.” In the process of riding out the wave, Eloise shoved her body backward against his, to prolong the sensations or to try for escape he couldn’t say, but it sent him ever deeper, embedded him so snugly into her passage that he feared he might leave the world in this moment.
“Fuck, Eloise, I…” There was nothing else to do but grab hold of her hips, and he thrust with more force and intent. “Surely, I’m mad to do this.”
Soon they heaved against each other, bodies straining, sweat dampening his back so that the fine lawn of his shirt lay plastered to his skin.
He also ignored the sound of her crying because he couldn’t stop, needed an outlet, wanted her to stay with him of her own accord.
He indeed was a beast, yet oddly he didn’t want to show her that side of him going forward.
“Don’t leave me,” he whispered as he grabbed her hair, forced her head back so he could lean over her back and speak into her ear.
“Stay for the hell of it.” That was far too much vulnerability shown; he’d never begged a woman for anything.
What the devil is wrong with me?
She shook her head. “Why should I? I hate you.”
“Because…”
“You deserve the hell you live in.” The words were muffled by the bedclothes. “There is no way I can forgive you for this, despite the fact that my traitorous body enjoyed it.”
It stung, but he refused to show that to her. “I hate myself, which is why I am not planning to be around for much longer. But we are both broken.”
Slightly crazed, he renewed his grip on her hips, he lifted her upward so that her feet left the floor, but he kept her trapped between him and the edge of the bed, and he pistoned his hips, ruthlessly thrusting into her body with hard, deep, frantic strokes that had them both moaning and sighing.
Urgency shot through his shaft. Tingling went into his stones and they drew close to his body.
He lost himself, then, and with one final push, he was hurled over that edge.
The vortex caught him up in its storm, and as he ground himself into her body, his shaft emptied.
Seconds later, Eloise joined him in that storm where all sound and light were absent, and her surprised scream shattered that the silence in the room.
“Why did it have to be good?”
It was a start… perhaps.
Knowing he couldn’t linger, couldn’t give softer feelings the chance to spring up and take hold between them, for that might make him want an anchor to this world, James withdrew from her honeyed heat.
Not for worlds would he admit to being supremely satisfied.
“I shall see that your things are brought up,” he said with a final caress to her backside then did up the buttons of his front falls.
“What?” On unsteady feet, she turned to face him, keeping a hand on the bed for support. “My things?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “I had my housekeeper outfit you with some essentials from the village.”
“You…” Confusion crossed her face. “I don’t know what to say…” No other words came from her she slipped to the floor with her shift rumpled about her upper body.
A hint of smugness went through him, for he’d managed to surprise her and replace her anger. “Rest before dinner, Eloise. We have much to discuss.”
For she’d earned at least that.
Fuck me for a fool.