Chapter Twelve #2
He ignored the man. “I shall make certain you have the correct supplies should you wish to take up that hobby again.” That would prove good for her and keep her mind occupied once he’d gone away.
The former ambassador wouldn’t be denied.
“You don’t deserve respect, Blackhawke. I have heard many different things about you, and hardly any of them are good.
” Though he sipped the tea, it didn’t improve his mood.
“From what I can discern, you are the lowest of the low, Your Grace. Hell, you were a spy! How can anyone trust you?”
It had been quite a long time since those old shames had been brought into the light.
As he accepted a cup of tea from Eloise, he nodded.
“Oh, I quite agree with you, Mr. March. However, I’m marrying your daughter so that I can give her everything she needs to live a happy, productive life.
I’m taking care of her, protecting her, and she’ll want for nothing. ”
Mr. March scoffed. “Except respectability. She’ll always be gossiped about.”
James tightened his fingers around the delicate china cup. “She would have been anyway due to—”
“Enough.” Eloise interrupted them once more.
She set her cup and saucer on the table.
“This discussion is moot and doesn’t matter, gentlemen.
” Her gaze bounced between them. “The fact is, I am marrying the duke in two days. For my own reasons. I appreciate the concerns you both have regarding this issue, but I have the final say, and my mind won’t change.
” She held his gaze. “How did Phantom do with the journey?”
Some of the anger within him faded. “He still holds a grudge against me, but he will be right as rain soon, I think. Currently, he is hiding under my bed.” Quickly, James drained his teacup. “I also think he misses you.”
“Ha.” When she smiled, his world tilted. God, but he admired her more than he should. “It was a hard-won friendship. With you both.”
“Yes.” He nodded. “Could I speak with you privately in the corridor for a few moments?”
“Of course.” Turning to her father, she briefly patted his hand. “Papa, I’ll be right back.”
In the corridor, shielded from the doorway, James cupped her cheek. “Phantom isn’t the only one to miss you.” It was the closest he would be to showing emotion, he feared. In this, he was disappointing and weak.
“Oh.” Eloise’s eyes were full of shadows and feeling he refused to try an identify for fear of seeing a truth he didn’t want, couldn’t digest. “It has been… odd not being in your company every day.”
“I understand that sentiment all too well.” Despite the doubts and whispers flying through his mind, James offered her a small grin. “You have been my longest companion since I was in the military.”
“Because you are so disagreeable?” Amusement twinkled in her eyes.
“You’d think that, but no. Because everyone I have ever been close to leaves.” It was the most vulnerable he would be today. When she merely held his gaze, he shrugged. “How have you fared?”
“Well enough.” Her chest rose and fell with a soft sigh.
“I did some shopping in Mayfair; I needed a gown for our ceremony. Of course, I listened to countless lectures from my father, but I interrupted you just now because…” The delicate muscles in her throat worked with a hard swallow.
“Papa doesn’t know what happened to me in France. I’d like to keep it that way.”
How interesting that she’d shared that horrible secret with him and not her father.
“Very well.” Then he took her hand and kissed the back.
“Let us return to our tea. I don’t wish to make an enemy of your father, but please know I am not marrying you for an untoward purpose.
I have always been truthful about that.”
“I know.” Eloise nodded. “Give Papa some time. He’ll come around.”
Would the former ambassador prove to be another person he would disappoint? But then, wouldn’t they both feel that once James removed himself from this mortal coil? The noise in his head was strong without her being near all the time.
“I’m sorry.”
She frowned. “What for?”
“Just… everything. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be here now.” And in all honesty, he probably wouldn’t either. Right now, she was the only light in the darkness he could see, and it was faint at that. “As I’ve said before, I’m not a good man.”
“Stop.” Laying a hand on his arm, she peered up into his face, searched his eyes for what he couldn’t say, but he hoped to God she found it. “A broken window still lets in light, and in some ways, that broken glass is better.”
“How so?”
“When the light hits it just right, it makes rainbows on the floor.” Before he could answer, she slipped her hand in his. “Come talk to Papa about the Lake District. He has always wanted to visit, and I feel that is something you both will have in common.”
How was it that this strong, spirited, vulnerable woman could lead him about as if he had a ring in his nose, and he had no objections at all?
Until the darkness destroyed it.