Chapter 5 Tobias
TOBIAS
Ijump when a knock comes to the open bedroom door.
Red stands there, holding a wicker basket full of towels and various bottles. “I brought you some more things. Thought you might want a shower.”
“I… what?” Is he for real?
This pack is nothing like what I expected.
Red points across the hall. “Opposite side, one door down, is an enormous bathroom with an amazing shower, or bath if you prefer.”
When I still don’t reply, Red tilts his head. “How are you doing, Tobias? Really. I’ve noticed you haven’t come out of the room yet.”
I pick at the blanket.
Red sets the basket on the floor by the dresser. There’s a bright green body poof poking out from the top, tag still attached. “I imagine it’s a lot to process. But I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
He just wants me to tell them about the coven.
“It might surprise you, but I do know a little of what you’re going through,” Red says gently.
He was hurt by sadistic vampires? Right. I doubt that.
He gives me a weak smile. “The pack before this one wasn’t as… um, accepting, I guess you could say. They didn’t like that I’m half mage.”
The confession stuns me. Half mage? Does that mean he’s half shifter too?
“You’re a… crossbreed?” I whisper.
He nods. “I barely escaped that pack’s abuse and lived as a rogue for four years before meeting my mate.
Anyway, all I can say is, take it one day at a time, okay?
We’ll try not to rush you. But Jasmine wanted me to mention that dinner will be ready in about an hour.
So come down if you’re comfortable. If not, I’ll bring some food up soon. ”
The mention of food makes my stomach growl. It’s been a long time since I ate those granola bars.
He leaves the door open on his way out.
I eye the basket in disbelief. They’ve given me food, clothes, and now towels?
I reach for the basket, running my fingers over the soft blue material.
They feel brand new, just like the body poof.
Something silver glints in the side of the basket, and when I pull it out, my jaw drops.
A razor? The pack trusted me with a razor?
Aren’t they afraid I’ll cut one of them?
Then again, the tiny blades won’t do much against supernaturals, with their insane healing abilities. But still. To even offer it to me…
Gathering my courage, I walk into the hall. It’s empty, aside from an endless line of doors and a few decorative tables.
The bathroom is one door down on the opposite side, exactly like Red said. Inside, I find a porcelain tub and glass shower. So far, everything they’ve told me is true.
The white tiles and stainless steel faucets look bright and crisp against the blue-gray walls. Near the shower, three towels hang on hooks with black letters painted above them. R, I, and G.
I set the basket on the counter, then turn the water on before placing each bottle in the shower. There are a dozen bottles already, yet the bottles Red gave me feel unused. Is everything he gave me new? I struggle to wrap my head around that.
Stripping off my clothes, I set them on the toilet lid before stepping under the water.
It’s hot and wonderful against my skin. I close my eyes and drop my head back, running my hands through my dark blond hair.
Even with the heat, it takes a long time for me to relax, my attention fixed on the door, like someone will bust through at any second.
I’d locked it, but that tiny lock will do nothing against a shifter if they really want in.
It had done nothing against the vampires either. They never gave me more than two minutes to clean up.
Taking my time, I wash up, then slip into another fresh set of clothes, which had been tucked in with the towels. The pants are a little short on me, but the shirt fits perfectly and even has long sleeves. It calms me to feel them on my wrists, hiding the ugly scars.
It’s such a simple thing, to be clean, yet it almost makes me feel like myself. The only thing left to do…
I reach for the razor and bottle of shaving cream.
Every stroke is like cutting away a version of me I don’t like, revealing the one I do.
I shaved at the club too, of course—the vampires forced me to take care of myself so I was presentable on stage.
But to do this on my own. Because I want to. Because I can.
It almost makes me cry.
I wish I could cut my hair too, but that’ll have to wait.
Finally, I carry the basket back to my room, peeking into a few of the other rooms. The one across the hall from mine has a Black Paw poster on the wall, which immediately makes me smile. My favorite band. I wonder whose room that is.
Voices come from downstairs, followed by easy laughter. The rich scent of a homemade meal makes my mouth water.
Right. Food.
Folding my arms over my stomach, I walk down. Guilt shadows me. I’m still not sure if I’m allowed out of the room, but Red said I could come down. Did he mean it? Do the others know?
At the bottom of the stairs, I hold my breath and peer around the corner. A large group of people occupy almost every chair at a long wooden table. I recognize Sage and Red immediately, and Rowen is sitting near the end next to a woman with long dark hair.
The woman notices me and smiles. “Oh, hello.”
I freeze when they all turn. The instinct to run back to my room is almost too much.
I can’t breathe as I count them. One, two, three. My heart seizes on the fourth, and I take an involuntary step back. The man looks human, with his shoulder-length dark hair and emerald eyes, but I know he’s hiding deadly fangs behind his lip. I can spot them so easily now.
Vampire.
“Tobias, come sit down,” Rowen says. “There’s plenty of food.”
I can’t look at him. I can barely even hear him over the sudden pounding in my ears.
They said the vampires weren’t here! They said…
They lied!
Turning, I run back up the stairs and slam the door as I reach my room.
I shouldn’t be here. I can’t. I need to go. Dammit, why didn’t I run for the door? I look around, hoping to find a pair of shoes, but of course there are none.
Dumping the contents of the basket, I take both the razor and the metal canister of shaving cream in each hand. They won’t do much against a vampire, but maybe I can blind him to get away.
Footsteps echo in the hall, making me jump out of my skin. Without thinking, I duck into the closet and close the door, moving to the furthest corner. I sink to the floor as I hold the items, my entire body trembling.
Someone knocks on the bedroom door, and the sound echoes softly in the quiet space. I shake my head. Go away.
“Tobias?” The voice is too muffled to know who it is.
The bedroom door squeaks as someone enters my room. I clutch the razor with white knuckles. If they come in, I’ll lunge for their throat.
It’s unnaturally quiet as whoever is in the room looks around, and I can almost sense when they are on the other side of the closet door. I hold my breath and will my heart to slow down.
Don’t come in here. Please don’t.
The door moves slowly, and suddenly, I am too terrified to move. My mind screams at me to attack, but I can’t. Frozen in place by useless fear.
Rowen leans in, face hidden in shadow as he looks around. When he finally sees me, he pauses, noting the razor and the metal canister in my hands. “You okay?”
I don’t answer. I can’t. I can’t fucking do anything.
Slowly, he crouches to be at eye level, but stays several feet away. Too far away to swipe at.
Like it would do anything, anyway. He’ll definitely have better reflexes than I do and would stop me before I ever touched him.
Defeated, I drop the items and pull my knees up, hiding my face in my arms.
I hear Rowen move, but he never touches me.
“We should’ve told you Jericho is back,” Rowen says softly. “I’m so sorry, Tobias. They just got back about half an hour ago.”
I curl deeper into myself, wishing I could slip through a black hole and come out the other side. Anything to get me away from the vampire in the house.
“I c-can’t,” I say, my words muffled in my arms.
“I know. I get it. No one is going to make you come down, okay? Did you see the human next to him, though? The blond guy? That’s Evan. His mate.”
I lift my head. “He’s... The human is dating a vampire?”
Rowen gives me a weak smile. “Yeah. So if Jer is going to feed from anyone, it’ll be him. It’s kind of a cool story, actually, if you want to hear it.”
Rowen is trying to distract me, but I don’t want to hear about the vampire. I don’t even want to think about him. Or his human. How stupid can the man be to date a vampire?
I shake my head.
“Okay. Not now. I get that. But maybe someday?”
I don’t reply.
My stomach growls painfully, making me wrap an arm around my middle.
“How about I get you some food?” Rowen starts to get up, but I panic and clutch at his arm.
“Don’t.”
His warm eyes hold mine for a long beat, then he gently covers my hand with his. “I’ll come right back, then I’ll sit with you for as long as you want, okay? Just let me get you some food.”
His words feel like a promise. I sink back against the dusty corner of the closet.
“I’ll be right back.”
Fear slams into me the moment he leaves, and my whole body shakes. I want to close the closet again, but I can’t bring myself to move.
It’s stupid. I’m stupid. I shouldn’t be acting this way, hiding in a fucking closet! I’m twenty-four years old! The pack probably thinks I’m pathetic now, and they probably regret taking me in at all.
Finally, Rowen returns with a large wooden tray.
He sets it carefully on the floor in front of me before turning to sit against the wall inside the closet.
“Wasn’t sure what toppings you’d like, so I brought you a little of everything,” he says softly.
“There’s fresh butter for the cornbread too.
Oh, and milk. Can’t have chili without milk. ”
I pull the tray onto my lap and take a bite. It’s just as delicious as everything else I’ve had here.
“I also brought this.” Rowen holds a tablet up. “Thought we could watch something. You know, to get your mind off things. Is that okay?”
I stare at him. I don’t remember the last time I saw a movie. Before the club, I had been living in a hospital room for over a month, but even then I had been too out of it to turn on the TV, spending most of my time sleeping or staring out the window. And before that?
My heart sinks.
Before that, I never had time for TV. God, I miss that time of my life. I’d give anything to go back to it.
Rowen turns the tablet on, and after finding a movie, props it against the door. He says nothing while I eat, doesn’t push me to make conversation. He doesn’t move any closer either. But his presence fills every centimeter of the small space, wrapping around me like a warm blanket.
When I’m finished eating, he slides the tray out of the closet, but still doesn’t move. Like he knows I’m not ready to come out yet.
I pull my knees up, hugging them to my chest. I end up watching more of Rowen than I do the movie. If he notices, he doesn’t let on.
All I can think about is the vampire, Jericho. Foxx wanted him for his own, but he was also afraid of him. These shifters aren’t. Rowen had even said he trusted him.
“He’s…” I try, but the words come out like shards of glass. My stomach twists. Rowen waits patiently. “The vampire, I mean. Je-Jericho. He’s—he’s really a friend?”
Rowen nods slowly. “He is. He’s a good guy. Evan too. They won’t hurt you.”
I chew my lip. I don’t understand how they can trust a vampire, but… something inside me trusts Rowen, so maybe if nothing else, I can trust him to keep me safe.
We don’t talk for the rest of the movie.