Chapter 20
ROWEN
Having Tobias in my arms, his lips against mine, is better than I could have imagined. My wolf prances inside, his head high. Mate.
I hold Tobias’ face as we kiss, feeling the gentle scrape of his stubble against my thumb. His quiet moan—the way he tugs at me like he’s dreamed of this as much as I have—it’s everything.
The scent of his arousal is unmistakable, and it fuels my own.
I slide a hand under his shirt as I kiss down his throat.
Tobias instantly leans his head to one side, arms tight around me, heels digging into my thighs.
I pause over his collarbone, a sharp, sudden ache forming behind my gums. I hadn’t thought about how my wolf would react to us fooling around.
Down, boy. He’s not ready for that.
I kiss his mouth, sucking on his lip before moving to the other side.
Tobias curls a hand around the back of my head, pulling me in until I can taste his breath.
I tug his shirt higher, palming up his ribs, memorizing the map of his body.
I want to learn every inch of his body. Touch everywhere. Taste everything.
Tobias reaches over his head to pull his shirt off, then reaches for mine. Warmth floods my chest as we press together, skin to skin. Not lust, but something else. Something deeper.
Tobias cups me through my pajama bottoms. “This okay?”
“Yes,” I breathe. Moons above, anything he wants, I’ll give.
He palms me a few times before slipping his hand inside. I kiss him hard as he circles his fingers around my erection. I palm him through his pants too. He groans and nods against my mouth as if giving me permission, but I struggle to get a hand in. His sweatpants are too tight.
“Off,” he breathes. “Take them off!”
I lift him off the counter, and we both kick our pants and underwear aside before crashing together again. I finally curl a hand around him, and Tobias gasps, head dropping back. His cock is longer than mine but not as thick, and Tobias doesn’t have foreskin like I do.
I kiss down his throat, to his collarbone, and feel his whole body quiver as I suck. He arches his back, one hand clutching my bicep like he’s bracing for something. The urge to bite is unreal, but I can’t—I won’t. Not yet. Not until Tobias understands what we are to each other.
I continue down his chest, to his abs, then sink to my knees in front of him. His breath comes out fast, like he can’t believe this is happening, and when I fist his shaft, he sways a little. I lick up the underside, wasting no time taking him down my throat.
Tobias grips my shoulders. I suck hard as I pull off, then lick both sides and do it again. Tobias mutters a curse as I suck his balls, needy whimpers escaping him. Damn, how I love those sounds. I crave more.
Nudging his feet apart, I swipe a finger along his taint. He shivers, cock twitching on my tongue.
“It’s been a while, Ro. You might, uh, slow down, or this is going to be over real fast.”
I don’t slow down. I can’t. I need to be with him, need to have this with him. To feel my mate come undone in my arms. To please him. Make him happy.
I fist his shaft at the same time I roll his balls. Tobias curses, going up on his toes.
“I’m serious. I’m… oh, shit, that’s—” His voice cracks as I flick a tongue against the sensitive head.
“Rowen,” he warns again. I pump him at the same pace as my tongue. “Shit, I’m—!”
Hot cum spurts against my lips. I swallow him down, enjoying the quick pulse against my tongue. Tobias trembles, one hand threading through my hair.
As he relaxes, I get to my feet and press him against the counter. Cupping his face, I kiss him much more tenderly. Tobias’s arms curl around my back as he smiles.
“Your turn,” he says.
I chuckle. “I’m fine.”
“No way, mister. Let me have my way with you.”
He reaches between us, stroking. Our lips meet in a soft kiss. Desire courses through me, not only from his hand, but from the way he’s smiling, the joy I can feel radiating from him. I honestly just want more of that, not sex.
He rolls my foreskin back and teases the head, watching me. “You’re so damn beautiful,” he whispers before kissing me.
Slowly, he turns us around, pressing his weight against me. I slide my hands up his sides to his face, claiming his mouth. But he pulls away to sink to his knees.
I grip the counter. “Don’t worry. I’m not far behind you.”
Truth is, I could’ve blown the same time he did.
The lust pouring through me is like nothing I’ve ever known before.
Hot, fast, and intense. My whole body is a live wire, yet it’s wrapped in tenderness for Tobias too.
I need him, but I need to just be with him.
Is this the fated mate thing? I’ve had hot sex before, but nothing, and I mean nothing, has felt like this.
His mouth, his tongue. The way his hand knows just the right amount of pressure.
Hell, even just the feel of his naked body against me is enough to make me lose my mind. I want him, always.
Tobias licks up the side and teases the slit before opening his mouth.
I nearly lose it at the first pass of wet, hot pressure around my cock.
Closing my eyes, I drop my head back. A growl rumbles in my chest as I cup his head.
But something in me makes me look down again.
I want to watch him, to see this. Remember it.
This is my mate. My fated one, making love to me.
I long for the day when we can truly be joined, however and whenever he wants that to happen. It’s up to him. But this, here. It’s enough too. Everything Tobias gives me is enough.
Holding his head, I curl my fingers in his wavy hair and rock forward.
The urge to fuck is almost as bad as the urge to bite his neck.
He sucks on my testicles before licking the underside of my shaft.
As I sink down his throat again, I clamp my lips tight to keep from saying the one thing I want to say.
Mine.
This man is mine. All mine. Whether he knows it or not.
The vibration in my chest grows, teeth elongating. Tobias digs his fingers into my thigh, throat tightening.
“Toby,” I warn, my voice almost unrecognizable.
He sucks harder, cheeks hollowing. After a few more passes, my balls draw up tight. I shoot down his throat in thick, hot spurts. The relief is almost overwhelming.
Tobias swallows down every drop before getting to his feet.
I hold him tight, heart still beating wildly.
When our lips meet, I’m surprised he’s still smiling.
His heartbeat slows beneath my palm, steadying.
He smells incredible—not just the deep musk of arousal but like sweet oranges and fresh-cut grass.
“Soooo,” he says after a moment. “That just happened.”
I chuckle, rocking him in my arms as I tuck my face against his neck. “Guess we’ve both been waiting for that, haven’t we?”
He pulls back, eyes searching mine in the dark. I expect him to question this, to deny that it could ever be real, but instead he kisses me softly. “Yeah. We have.”
My wolf whines, pleased with his mate’s words.
Finally letting him go, I reach for our clothes, and toss his to him. Tobias is quiet as we get dressed, but not nearly as anxious as I thought he would be.
He turns to survey the room, then suddenly bursts out laughing.
“What?”
“You didn’t even let me explore the darkroom.”
“Me?” I choke. “You were the one who kissed me, remember?”
He grins, tugging his shirt on. The light reflects off his damn vampire mark before he hides it under the sleeve. The sight guts me.
How dare Rip hurt this man. For touching what’s mine. He’s going to pay—
“Here we go.” Tobias’s voice snaps me out of it. He flicks a switch on the first of the two enlargers, and an image appears on the panel below. He fiddles with the knobs, twisting the image in and out of focus, and raising and lowering the projector like he’s trying to learn the thing.
I finish getting dressed and run a hand through my hair before stepping in behind him. I can’t not touch him now. Placing my hands on his side, I kiss his neck before wrapping my arms around his middle. I get another urge to bite, but I pull away, kissing his temple.
“Is that your dad?” Tobias asks.
I finally look at the image, and instantly, emotion clogs my throat. It’s a picture of Dad and me out by the lake, our arms around each other’s backs as we smile. I was twenty-one.
“Yeah,” I say quietly.
Tobias looks over his shoulder at me, brows pinched. Like he’d heard the grief in my tone.
I swallow hard, struggling to speak. “That would’ve been the last picture we ever took together,” I explain. “We were on a trip to Redfish Lake in Idaho. Just the four of us, I mean.” My voice shakes. “He died about two weeks after we got back.”
“Oh, hon.” He covers my arm with his, threading our fingers together.
“He must’ve been developing the film from that trip.” Then it hits me. “Probably for my mom’s birthday, actually. It would’ve been soon after that.”
“Do you… care if I go through them? Will she?”
“No, of course not. Mom would love to have them developed, to be honest. I don’t know if she’s even seen them.”
“She must’ve seen this one at least when she set up the darkroom?”
I shake my head. “No, Mom never learned how to handle these. Dad tried, but like she said earlier, it just didn’t click with her.
She’s never been good with anything mechanical.
She preferred helping with the stuff after processing.
Trimming pictures and framing. That kind of thing.
” I touch the black-and-white image, our faces shrouded in darkness because of the negative.
“Neal would’ve prepared the room and made sure these worked.
He’s more hands on like that. Mom probably just cleaned things off and ordered the supplies. ”
Even in the red light, I can see Tobias’s cheeks flush pink, no doubt remembering when Neal walked in on us. It reminds me.
“I guess I should warn you. The pack will know what happened.”
“Because of Neal?”
“No, because… well, they’ll smell it on us.”
Tobias’s eyes get huge as he steps away. “Are you kidding me?”
“It wears off the longer a couple is together, but yeah. The pheromones are intense in the beginning.”
Especially for fated mates. The musk that came off Red and Sage their first two weeks was enough to give me migraines.
“That’s so embarrassing.”
“It is what it is,” I say. “The shifter way.”
He focuses on the enlarger, trying every button, every knob. “I’m so excited to play with this.”
“Do you want me to go so you can get acquainted with everything?”
When he doesn’t reply, I laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
Kissing his cheek, I step aside. “Have fun, Toby. See you in a bit.”