Chapter 25 Tobias
TOBIAS
My bedroom is nearly pitch black now, too dark for me to see anything. The only sound is the howling wind outside. It makes my heart twist painfully. It’s been half a day since Rowen left, and his absence feels like it’s suffocating me.
The whispers in my head stopped after an hour, but fear has held me captive. I haven’t been able to leave my bed. Where are they? What if something happened?
The sound of footsteps near my door makes me snap my head up. When the bedroom door creaks, I hold my breath.
“Toby?”
“Hey.”
Rowen crosses the room in a few long strides, the bed dipping as he crawls onto it. I reach for him, feeling bare skin. Did he shower or something?
Rowen dips his nose into my hair, inhaling deeply. His body trembles, either from exhaustion or… something else. “Why are you in here and not my room?” he asks gently. “I had to look everywhere for you.”
I don’t reply. He wouldn’t like the truth anyway.
He strokes my hair before gently touching my forehead. The chill I’ve been fighting all night instantly thaws under his touch.
“Mom said you had a pretty bad migraine. Said you didn’t even come down for dinner.”
Fresh tears of relief slip down my cheek, and I quickly wipe them away. “Y-yeah.”
I don’t know what to say. I can’t tell him the truth—that I heard voices for the first time. He’d kick me out. Think I’m a danger to his family.
“Want me to go?” Rowen asks.
“No.”
He hesitates. “You sure?”
It’s clear he doesn’t think this is about my migraine at all. He thinks it’s about our fight before he left.
I lean into him. “Please don’t.”
I hate how desperate I sound, but after hours of wondering if he’s okay, I just need to be with him—to feel him, kiss him.
“Okay.”
Rowen quickly crawls under the sheets to hold me. His chilled skin makes me shiver. I plaster myself against his chest, my leg between his, and I realize he’s naked.
“Where’re your clothes?”
He doesn’t answer right away. “I had to shift tonight, so they shredded.”
I lift my head, alarmed.
He touches my cheek. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay? Right now, I just need to be with you.”
I pause. Rowen needs me?
I curl against him, my head on his chest.
We’re quiet for a long moment, his warmth seeping into me. Calming me.
“I’m so sorry, Toby,” Rowen says finally. “I never should’ve left you like that.”
“You had to.”
“No, hon. I shouldn’t have left like that. Plus, I told you we’d be back in a few hours, and it took way longer than I expected.” He kisses my head.
I flatten my palm against his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heart. For the first time all night, my panic fades. His heartbeat anchors me.
“Tell me we’re okay.” The hushed words come out in a rush, almost like he hadn’t meant to say it.
I don’t see how we’ll be okay if I’m losing my mind. The thought of putting Rowen and the others through what I went through with my mom—watching me slowly lose sense of reality. I can’t bear it.
“Please, Tobe. I need to hear it,” he breathes.
“We’re okay.” My voice is too soft to be convincing. “I was just scared.”
He finally relaxes, sliding an arm around my waist. “I know. We found her, though. Foxx’s vamp.”
“You did?”
He nods once, pulling me closer. I really want to hear more, but I also just want this—I need this. I’ve been worried sick about him all night. Plus, with the voices and my headache…
“I missed you,” I whisper.
Rowen sighs, like my words give him oxygen.
I turn to kiss him, and Rowen instantly deepens it, holding my face as he pushes me back into the pillow. Warmth spreads through me, dissolving the last of the ugliness. I thread my fingers through his hair as he kisses down my throat.
“Make love to me.”
Rowen’s breath catches, and for a moment, I wonder if I pushed him too far. He’s clearly exhausted, yet he seems relieved too.
“Please? I want you inside me.”
He kisses me deeply. “I want that too. I’ll need lube, though. So either we go to my bed or I need to go grab it.”
When I don’t answer, he sits up, pulling me with him and wrapping my legs around his waist. I stifle a shriek of laughter against his neck as Rowen carries me across the hall, kicking the door shut behind him. He turns and pins me against the wall, kissing down my neck.
I tilt my head to the side.
“You sure about this?”
We’ve fooled around a few times, but we haven’t done this. “Please.”
Rowen kisses me, then lies me on the bed and pulls my clothes off.
His gaze travels slowly over my body, both hands sliding up my sides as he leans over to kiss me.
Rowen’s touch is gentle, yet possessive—like he needs this as much as I do.
We lose ourselves in the kiss before Rowen reaches into his bedside table to pull a bottle of lube out.
After a moment, he sits up. Keeping my legs around him, he adds lube to two fingers, smearing the liquid around my hole.
“I’ve thought about this so many times,” he admits as he gently probes. His free hand rubs my thigh, my stomach. Anywhere he can reach.
I stifle a laugh. “Yeah?”
He holds himself above me as he gently enters. I can barely see him in the dark, yet I know he can see me. I cup his face, joy filling me as I feel his smile. He stretches me with perfection. I tug his hair and lose myself in another heated kiss. When he strokes my prostate, I arch my back.
Rowen mutters something under his breath before kissing my throat. He adds a third finger and sucks against my collarbone.
“You smell so good right now,” he whispers, rubbing the bundle of nerves. His tone nearly takes me to the edge. I dig my fingers into his biceps.
“Rowen. Please.”
Rowen withdraws his fingers and gently smacks my thigh. “On your knees, babe.”
My heart skitters at the endearment. Rolling over, I bend forward on my elbows with my ass up. With one hand, I reach between my legs to stroke. My skin is on fire, balls aching.
Rowen fumbles with the bottle, spilling some of the liquid onto the sheets. “Moons above,” he breathes. “You have no idea what that view does to me.”
I would’ve laughed if it weren’t for the sudden emotions clogging my throat.
He kneels behind me, smoothing his hands over my ass. A strange, needy sound escapes his throat.
“I have never wanted someone this bad,” he murmurs, massaging my entrance. His voice sounds heady, like this isn’t just want at all. Rowen’s touch is like something primal is taking over him, overriding his exhaustion and giving in to demand.
It makes my blood pump faster. Gods, how I feel the same. I need him. Badly.
After coating himself with lube, he slides the blunt head against my opening and presses in, slowly.
The pain of his girth stretching me is rapidly replaced with something else—something I’m certain I’ve never felt before.
It burns inside me, spreading out to my fingers. I groan his name as I bear down.
Rowen bottoms out in one deep thrust, hands digging into my hips before pulling out. “I can’t—shit, I can’t stop.”
I reach back, silently telling him I don’t want him to.
He slams in, hitting every nerve, and I bury my face in the mattress to cry out. “Yes! Oh, fuck.”
His deep growl seems to vibrate through me, and a strange mewling sound pours from me as I drive back. It seems to awaken something in Rowen. He fucks harder. The air becomes thick with the scent of sweat and sex. Skin slapping against skin.
He leans over me, curling one arm around my middle. His hot breath ghosts across my skin.
“You feel so good.” His voice is raw, movements barely in control.
When he kisses my shoulder, that strange burning sensation flows through me again, becoming a coiled knot behind my ribs.
It vibrates before snapping back, as though it were stretching through my ribs, towards Rowen.
His hold on me tightens, breath hitching, and his movements stutter. Is he feeling it too?
His pace slows, lips grazing my shoulder with surprising tenderness.
I reach for his hand, threading our fingers together. The words slip out before I can stop them. “You’re mine.”
I don’t even know where it came from—from the stress of the night, from our reunion, who knows. But I mean it with every cell in my being. Rowen is mine. All mine.
Rowen groans against my skin, and his blunt teeth sink into the curve of my neck, hard enough to cause pain. I gasp and pull away, but he holds me tight.
Rowen buries himself to the hilt as his cock pulses. A moment later, pressure fills my ass.
I lift my head, alarmed. “Rowen.”
His hold loosens, but he never lets go. The pressure grows. And grows.
“Ro—”
“I’m knotting,” he whispers in disbelief.
Knotting? As in, his penis is swelling? Oh, gods.
I look over my shoulder, but his dazed, lust-drunk expression offers no comfort—eyes wide, pupils blown, mouth open. He looks like his orgasm is taking him somewhere far, far away. He drops his head to my shoulder with a shuddering gasp. “That’s—Holy shit.”
The pressure hits my prostate, becoming deeper… and deeper. My toes curl from the intensity, and I arch my back, gripping his hand hard. “Rowen!”
I rock my hips without meaning to, instinct kicking in. Rowen grunts a low “Mine” before his lips find mine in a brutal, claiming kiss. His large hand curls around my cock and pumps. I fall over the edge within seconds.
As we come down from the high, Rowen’s arms shake and his kisses become softer. We pant against each other’s lips—a mix of shock and elation. The swollen tip in my ass hasn’t lessened any, but our strength is gone.
He urges me to lie on my side, and curls in behind me.
When Rowen can finally breathe, he says, “This has never happened before.”
I look over my shoulder. “Ever?”
He shakes his head.
“How long before you… you know, go down?”
“I don’t know. Ten minutes? Twenty?”
Twenty more minutes of that pressure on my prostate? I whimper.
“Am I hurting you?”
“Gods no.” I reach back to rub his thigh. “It feels incredible. I think I might float away.”
Rowen relaxes, chuckling against my neck. He slides a hand up and down my side, rolling his hips gently, and we both moan.
“Keep doing that and you’ll make me come again.”
Rowen hums. “Oh, yeah?”
He takes it as a challenge, licking up my throat to suck behind my ear. He rocks slowly, sensually—that deep pressure against my prostate turning into intense waves. Rowen and I fist my cock together. He swipes a thumb over the sensitive head just as I nut a second time.
He smiles against my skin.
I pull his hand away. “Okay, stop. I’m way too sensitive now.”
Rowen chuckles, but it’s cut off abruptly. He pulls away, fingers tracing a line on my neck. “I bit you.”
He sounds like he doesn’t remember it.
“It’s okay. It didn’t hurt.” Much.
His whole body tenses. “I could’ve bitten you for real, though.”
I freeze. I’ve known since I was ten how shifters claim their mates, but is Rowen saying he nearly did that just now? Like his wolf almost lost control? I don’t know what to think about that.
He hangs his head, sliding an arm around me. “I need to tell you something.”
I wait.
“Do you remember me saying how Red and Sage are fated mates?”
“Yeah.”
He hesitates, planting a feather-like kiss on my shoulder. “You’re mine,” he whispers.
I smile instantly. It was the same thing I’d said during sex. But then it hits me what he means, and I twist around to see him better. “Wait—what?”
“We’re fated, Toby. I can feel it. I’ve felt it for a while. Even my wolf…” He shakes his head. “We only knot with our fated mates.”
I exhale hard. Holy hell, he’s serious.
“You’re telling me this now? When you’re still—in me? Oh my God, Rowen!”
I turn away, hiding my face against the pillow. Rowen tenses, like he’s bracing for rejection, then he sags against me as a bubble of laughter slips up my throat, quickly followed by another. It grows until I am full on laughing. I pull his arm tight around me.
Rowen hugs me, chuckling against my shoulder.
“Sorry,” he mutters. “The bite left me no choice.”
I cover his hand with mine as we settle down. Wow. Fated mates? I did not see that coming.
“How can we be fated when I’m only part shifter?”
“I don’t know. But it’s true. I feel it inside me.”
“I think you mean I feel it inside me,” I say nudging my hips back. He laughs, the sound low and tired, but real.
In a way, being fated explains everything—the way I’d trusted him from the beginning, how his touch comforts me, the unusual panic I’d felt when he was going into danger. Maybe even the weird pulling in my chest just a few minutes ago. I’ll need to ask about that later.
“I think I’ve felt it too,” I breathe.
Rowen relaxes. “I’m not rushing anything, okay? I know a claiming bite is a big deal. I just needed you to know.”
I pull his hand to my lips and kiss his knuckles. I’m not scared of his bite at all. I already know I want it.
I’m just scared of everything else—my bloodline, my future, our future, tangled in a war that could destroy us both. I’m wearing a mark that could literally get Rowen killed if Rip finds me.
And I’m only human. A half-blood. What good will I be when it comes time to defend my mate? It feels cruel, almost, that fate would pair him with someone like me.
So no. As much as I want it, Rowen needs to wait to claim me, to seal what fate’s already written—at least until this is over and he’s sure he still wants me.
Because if the voices come back, if I start breaking apart the way my mom did, Rowen might wish fate had chosen anyone else.