Chapter Nine Cord
Nine
Cord
I barely sleep that night. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is the scooped neckline of the tight dress Allegra wore, the way her skirt flared around her hips as she twirled, the way she flushed and smiled when I dipped her. The way her waist fit perfectly in my hands.
The situation is drastic. So I do something unthinkable. I FaceTime my sister.
She answers on the first ring, eyes wide. “What happened? Is it Mom? Do I need to book flights home?”
“Jesus, Coco, relax. Can’t I call my favorite sister without there being some kind of emergency?”
“Historically speaking, no, you cannot. Also, I’m your only sister.”
I sigh. “Everyone is healthy and safe as far as I know.”
“Good.” She settles back on her lavender velvet couch. “Seriously though. Why are you calling me instead of texting like a normal human being?”
“Believe it or not, I wanted to get your advice, though I am already regretting that decision.”
She visibly perks up. “Is this about a girl? Or a boy? Do you have a crush?” She gasps. “Do you have a date?”
Really missed the mark when I decided who to call here, but if I don’t explain now, she’ll only assume the worst. “I do not have a date.”
She raises one eyebrow. “Does that mean you do have a crush?”
I scrub a hand over my face. “Crush might be giving it too much weight. More like I have an…interest.”
She struggles to contain her glee and fails miserably. “Thank god. Go get laid, don’t overthink it. Is that the permission you need?”
“I can’t.”
“That sounds like a conversation you should be having with your doctor and not your twin sister.”
I flip her off. “I can’t because I’m giving her lessons. I’m basically her teacher.”
She wrinkles her nose. “Lessons? What kind of lessons could you possibly offer?”
I ignore that slight. “I’m helping her prepare for an audition.” I take a deep breath and bite the bullet. “She’s a ballerina. With BNY.”
Any hint of glee fades from her face. “Oh. Shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Have you told her?”
“About my long and complicated hatred for the institution she has dedicated her life to? No, I have not.”
Her eyes, the same bright blue as mine, soften. “Why did you agree to help her in the first place?”
I fidget with the hem of my shirt, avoiding her gaze.
“She told me something her director said to her, and it pissed me off and I want to give her the chance to prove him wrong.” It’s frank and honest, even considering Chloe knows me better than anyone, and I need to balance out the emotions. “Also, she’s really hot.”
Chloe ignores me because she has known me since literal birth. “I guess you have two choices then: wait until these lessons are done and tell her you want a quick fuck or start getting comfortable with ballet being a part of your life again.”
I grimace. “I don’t think I can do that.” I know Chloe will interpret that to mean I can’t see myself accepting ballet into my existence, but it’s equally true for the former.
I’ve thought a lot about what it would be like to fuck Allegra, and nothing about it would be quick.
I clear my throat and wipe those images from my mind. “Well, as usual, you have been no help.”
This time she’s the one flipping me off. “Leave me in peace then, I was just about to watch Real Housewives.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I hold up my hand to wave, but she doesn’t wave back.
“Be careful, Cord. Think about the consequences of your actions for once.”
It’s not totally unwarranted advice, but as she ends the call and my screen fades to black, I can’t help but think it might already be too late to heed it.
On Monday, I head to the studio for rehearsal, even though I don’t really need to be there.
I have plenty of paperwork and behind-the-scenes things that need my attention, but I know if I sit in my office alone all day, I’ll do nothing but think about Allegra.
And thinking about her will only lead me to start justifying all the reasons why it wouldn’t be so bad to make my move.
So instead, I do something I haven’t done in a long time. I line up in the back of the studio and rehearse.
I still remember the first time I walked into a ballet studio, even though I was only six years old.
Chloe was so excited for her first ballet lesson, but there wasn’t much of anything we did at that age without the other in tow.
She pretty much refused to go to class if I didn’t go with her.
When we arrived, my mom and I sat in the corner with the other family members to watch.
Ballet for six-year-olds is a lot of the basics and even more just spinning around the dance floor, trying to get as dizzy as possible without falling down.
Chloe was a natural, and when her teacher saw me sitting along the back wall, toes tapping in time with the beat of the music, she zeroed in on me like a lioness.
Boys are a rarity in ballet, and I’m not the only dancer I know who got their start because they accompanied their sister to class.
Turned out, I was a natural, too.
We danced together for our entire childhoods, well into our teenage years.
Chloe always had the love for ballet, the ambition.
I had the talent, and the desire to always be the star in the room.
Even though I never loved ballet—even when I was dancing it, so much of it seemed trite—I loved performing.
And it didn’t hurt that my ego was consistently stroked. As we got older, I learned that being a male ballet dancer wasn’t without its perks.
Chloe often talked of us going pro and being a part of the same company.
She got her wish, but life as a professional ballerina didn’t go exactly as she had planned.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget everything that happened to lead us to where we are today, but working with Allegra has brought it all rushing back—the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly.
Creating Six Pact let me change the course of my dance life. Now I get to dance how I want to dance, with people who I respect and dancers who are treated like the talented artists they are.
Today, I let myself revel in that. Ballet be damned.
Rehearsal ends and Noah, as dance captain, releases the rest of the crew. I could have stepped in as director, but today I just wanted to dance, and Noah is very good at his job.
As the studio clears out, I grab a towel and a water bottle from my bag, wiping the sweat from my face and chest before chugging the contents of the bottle. I refill it at the water fountain.
Noah is waiting for me when I get back to my spot, arms crossed over his chest. “Didn’t expect to see you here today.”
I shrug, drinking another gulp of water. “Needed to get a workout in.”
“Something got you stressed?”
“Nah. One of the Texas franchises is having some trouble, but nothing major.”
Noah arches an eyebrow. “You know I’m from Texas. Happy to fly out and take a look if you need an ambassador.”
I zip up my bag and sling it over my shoulder. “I don’t think they’re that far gone, but I’ll keep it in mind.” I clap him on the shoulder. “Nice work today.”
“Thanks, boss.” He hesitates for a second. “You know, I sent you an event that’s happening tonight. You should have a DM.”
I frown, pulling my phone from my pocket. “You know I never check my DMs. What’s the event?”
“They’re doing a movie-in-the-park showing of Center Stage.”
I find the message but don’t bother opening it. “Why would I care about that? You know how much I hate that movie.”
Noah shrugs. “Oh, you know. Just thought if you knew someone who liked ballet that they might be interested and maybe you could also ask said person who hypothetically might want to go if you could hypothetically take them.”
I shove my phone in the side pocket of my bag. “It’s hard to tell because I’m not sure you’re speaking English, but are you suggesting I ask Allegra to go with me to see Center Stage?”
He grins. “What a great idea, boss.” This time he claps me on the shoulder. “You should definitely do that, I bet she would love it.”
“I’m not into her, you know,” I grumble. “I’m just her tutor.”
“Right. Sure. Most definitely. You’re certainly not attracted to her and she’s definitely not attracted to you and it hasn’t been months since you’ve been on a date. Well, will you look at the time.” He checks his wrist though he wears no watch. “Gotta run, see you later, boss!”
It takes me a second to process. “You think she’s attracted to me?”
The studio door thuds shut behind him and I realize I’m the last one left and I’m directing my question at no one. I head for the door myself, but my feet stutter to a stop before I can reach for the handle.
Should I ask Allegra to go with me to see the movie?
No. Absolutely not.
It wouldn’t have to be a date, of course. Friends go to the movies together all the time.
Yeah, Chloe told me to get laid, and sure, Noah reminded me I haven’t been on a date in months, but none of that matters. Allegra and I are certainly capable of going to a movie together without it being a whole thing.
I take out my phone before I can talk myself out of it.
Me: Hey, I know it’s late notice but if you don’t have plans tonight, they’re showing Center Stage at Bryant Park.
The typing bubbles pop up right away and my stomach does a pirouette.
Allegra: You don’t strike me as a Center Stage guy.
Me: Excuse me, I am the original Cooper Nielson.
Allegra: Too bad you were like five when that movie came out.
Allegra: I was actually already planning on going. My friend was going to come but she bailed so I guess we could meet up if you want?
I grin like an idiot because there’s no one here to witness it.
Me: Sounds good. I’ll text you when I get there.
Allegra: See you then.
I stand in front of Bryant Park three hours later like a total fucking chump.
I’ve got a blanket tucked under one arm and a picnic basket in the other.
I spent my monthly grocery budget on fancy cheeses and fruit and crackers and wine even though I know Allegra is on a strict diet.
Hell, I’m on a strict diet, too, though I don’t have to deal with anyone shaming me for my weight if I put on a few extra pounds.
I know what the pressure is like for her to maintain her body and I’m putting her in a terrible position by tempting her with things she likely won’t eat.
This whole thing was a mistake. A colossally terrible idea. I don’t even like her, there’s no reason for me to be so wrapped up in my head. I should just leave now and tell her something came up.
I spin on my heel, about to make my way to the subway station.
And I almost run directly into a stunning blonde.
“Cord!” She recovers from her surprise first, flashing me a warm smile. “Sorry I kept you waiting, subway was running behind.”
I breathe through my mouth because when I say I almost ran directly into, I really almost ran directly into her and now we are very close and the floral scent that seems to emanate from her skin is filling my nose and doing bad things to me. “No problem. Should we find a seat?”
“Sure.” She hoists her reusable grocery bag over her shoulder.
I take it from her, handing her my blanket in exchange.
“Is that an actual picnic basket you’ve got there?” She eyes me with a teasing smile.
“Oh, this old thing?” I bought it an hour ago, but she doesn’t need to know that.
She laughs and I wonder if it’s the first time I’ve heard the sound or if it just sounds special because it comes from her.
Holy shit.
I am losing my goddamned mind.
Allegra leads us to a small spot on the crowded green—it seems like half the city turned out for this event.
I don’t spend much time in Bryant Park, but even I can’t deny that it’s a beautiful night and the perfect setting, the New York Public Library standing proud behind us, the happy chatter of people who can finally spend time outdoors after a frigid winter.
We spread the blanket out on the grass, settling into opposite corners. Not that leaving an entire ocean between us would be enough space.
“Everything okay?” she asks me as we start to unpack our respective bags of food. As expected, Allegra has brought fresh-cut veggies with hummus and sparkling water.
“Yeah. Good. Great. Supergreat.”
“You seem a little distracted.” There’s that teasing smile again.
“Just a lot going on with the show.”
She nods, settling in and popping a carrot into her mouth. I stack some cheese and salami on a cracker and shove it in mine. For a minute, there’s nothing but the sound of each of us crunching on our snacks. Which is not awkward at all.
“That’s quite the spread you packed.” Allegra points to my array of cheeses with her carrot stick.
“I’m a bit of a foodie.” It’s not a lie, but it sounds pretentious and douchey, even to my own ears. “How was rehearsal today?” I change the subject, though this one isn’t much better.
“It was good.” Her shoulders tense and the lines around her mouth tighten.
I know I should press her further, just as I also know I don’t really want to talk to her about ballet. Which is going to make the rest of the night interesting considering we’re watching a whole damn movie about ballet.
Luckily, the lights around the park begin to dim and the screen brightens. Allegra flashes me a small smile and the pressure to make conversation disappears. We both visibly relax. I haven’t felt this tongue-tied in front of her before and I don’t know why my brain has decided to stop functioning.
I stretch out my legs in front of me and she tucks hers to the side. The movement leaves a mere inch of space between our thighs and I spend more time focusing on that tiny gap than I do on the movie playing out on the screen in front of us.
My eyes dart between that stupid gap and Allegra’s face.
Watching her watch the movie is far more entertaining than the film itself.
She has to have seen it at least a hundred times—I know Chloe made me watch it at least that many—but she still smiles and laughs and gasps as if it’s her first time, even as she mouths the words.
She catches me watching her and gives me a questioning look. I dart my eyes back to the screen. A second later, I shift my legs the tiniest bit so that our thighs press together. She doesn’t move away.