Chapter Twenty-Two Allegra #2
Cord slips out of his shoes the second he crosses the threshold and immediately drops my hand and darts to the opposite side of the room, striding toward the huge windows framing the nighttime lights of Hell’s Kitchen.
Well. That’s enough to make my stomach completely churn with anxiety.
I toe off my heels, following his example. And then I follow in his steps, slowly, in case he wants me to stay hovering by the door despite dragging me all the way here.
“I like your place,” I say tentatively when I’ve made it about halfway to him, several feet still separating us.
“Thanks.” He turns toward me and nothing in his eyes says stop, so I keep walking.
“Did you change your mind? About inviting me here? I can go if you want.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want that. I want you to stay.”
“I’m sorry for just showing up at the theater. I probably should have texted you first, but I was too afraid you would tell me you didn’t want to see me ever again.”
He runs a hand through his hair. It’s still slightly damp with sweat and the motion makes the back stick up. “Honestly, that’s probably what I would have said.”
My heart drops into my butt. “Oh.”
He reaches for one of my hands, pulling me closer. “But I’m glad you just showed up. I don’t think I realized until I saw you standing there just how much I’ve missed you, Slippers.”
I lace our fingers together. “I missed you too, Cord. A lot.”
Blowing out a breath, he keeps our hands joined but takes a step away from me. “But even though I’m happy to see you, I don’t know that it changes much of anything.”
“I’m still a ballet dancer.”
“And I’m still a rigid motherfucker too wrapped up in the past.”
“Hey.” This time I tug, though I wouldn’t ever be able to move him if he didn’t want to come willingly. “That’s not fair.”
“Now that you know everything, you understand why it’s been so hard for me? Why I don’t think I could ever let this get serious between us.” Even as he says the words, his eyes dim, the blue seemingly fading right in front of my eyes.
“I understand.” I reach for his other hand and he gives it. “But I wouldn’t be here if I could just accept that, Cord.”
“Slippers…”
“Look, I’m not going to lie to you and say ballet isn’t my priority.
It is. I worked my ass off to get this part—you understand that better than anyone—and I’m not giving up right when I’m on the cusp of being made a principal.
” I take a deep breath. “And I’m also not going to pretend like my director isn’t problematic.
He has said and done things that are one hundred percent inappropriate.
I’ve never reported him, and as long as he doesn’t take things any further, I don’t think I ever will. ”
Cord’s jaw tenses. “That night when I called you, when he cornered you in the hallway, don’t you think he would have taken things further if he hadn’t been interrupted?”
“Maybe. I don’t know that for sure, and neither do you.
But even still, this is my career, my body, and my boundaries.
I will stay true to them.” I know what would happen if I reported David for the “minor” infractions he’s committed so far, and any favorable result wouldn’t be worth what I would have to go through on my end.
I understand that that line doesn’t work for everyone, but it does work for me, and that’s what matters.
Cord considers my words for a long minute. “I respect that.”
I reward him with a small smile. “Thank you.”
“But I don’t know where that leaves us.”
“That’s up to you, Cord. I respect your boundaries, too, and if this is too much for you, then I will walk out that door and never look back.
” Just saying the words is a knife in the gut and my fingers instinctively tighten around his, but I try to put on a brave face.
“But I don’t want that. I want us to try.
I want us to compromise and meet in the middle and find a way to make this work. ”
“I want that too,” he says quietly.
My heart lightens…until I hear his next word.
“But…” This time it’s his grip that tightens. “I’m not going to lie to you, Allegra. I’m scared that I can’t do it. I’m scared that I don’t have it in me to accept your world in the way you deserve.”
I nod, untangling our fingers. “I understand.” I know when it fully hits me, the loss of him, for real this time, it’s going to run me over like a stampeding bull, and so I move toward the front door, wanting and needing to escape as fast as possible.
“But I want to try, Allegra.”
I halt in my tracks, spinning slowly to face him once again. “You want to try?”
He nods, a slow grin spreading across his full lips. “I want to try. If you think you can be patient with me.”
“Patience is my middle name.” It’s definitely not, but for a chance with Cord Donovan, I’ll file the paperwork and change it.
This time he moves toward me, cupping my cheeks in his hand. “I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think this was something real, Allegra. Promise me you think this is something real, too?”
“It’s something real, Cord. Very real.”
For a minute he doesn’t move and I lose myself in the depths of his crystal-clear gaze. He’s so beautiful, he takes my breath away.
And then his mouth presses gently to mine and new life is breathed into me.
His lips are soft and slow, they move against mine with the lightest of touches.
I let him command it, his hands tilting my head to deepen the kiss.
I sink into him, leaning into his weight to support me as my brain goes fuzzy.
My hands find their home at his waist and when I tug on his hips, he lets me move him closer. Our bodies press together and the heat of him warms me. His lips continue their exploration and I think I could kiss him forever.
He grazes his teeth over my bottom lip and I gasp, my hips moving of their own accord. Cord grunts at the contact. My lips part and he teases me with just the tip of his tongue.
We’ve barely kissed and somehow this is the most erotic thing that has ever happened to me. Every single nerve in my body is on high alert, but it’s my heart that melts when he pulls away from me, his eyes roving over my face like he can’t believe I’m standing here.
“I’ve been thinking about doing that since the moment I first saw you outside of the theater.”
I roll my eyes. “You have not. You couldn’t stand me when we first met.”
He shakes his head, moving his hands from their position cradling my face, trailing them down my arms and around my waist. “It was never you I couldn’t stand, Slippers.”
I don’t let him expound on that thought, not wanting to derail the moment. I rise on my toes and bring my lips to his, my arms tightening around his neck. Taking control of the kiss, I open myself to him, exploring him with my tongue. He lets me take the lead, and the control is heady.
I feel the moment his resolve snaps, when something in him demands to take over. His tongue sweeps into my mouth as his hand finds its way to my hair. This kiss is devouring and hot and kind of messy. His other hand palms my ass, and the hard length of him presses against my belly.
“I want you, Cord,” I mutter against his mouth when we part the slightest bit so we can breathe. I trail my hands down his chest, over his stomach, cupping him over the fabric of his pants.
“I want you, too, Allegra. So fucking much. But we don’t have to do anything tonight. We can take this slow if you want.” His mouth moves down the curve of my neck as if to persuade me otherwise.
But he doesn’t need to persuade me. I feel like I’ve been yearning for his touch for months. And I don’t want to wait any longer.
I pull away from him, ever so slightly, just enough so I can see his eyes. “Where’s the bedroom?”
His pupils widen. “You sure?”
“One hundred percent.” I kiss him quickly. “And I still remember my word.” I know I won’t need to use it.
“In that case.” He hoists me up once again, just like at the end of our routine. Somehow he manages to resume kissing me, even as he walks us down the hallway to the last door.
I wish I had time to fully take in the space, absorb all the details of Cord’s most personal and intimate room, but that would require me to part from him, and that’s not happening anytime soon.
He sits carefully on the edge of the bed, settling me on his lap, my thighs tucked around his hips. It’s reminiscent of the night of the lap dance, and I can’t help but groan when the image floats into my head.
“Are you thinking about the last time we sat like this?” He shifts the neckline of my dress so his mouth can trail along my collarbone.
“Yes.” I roll my hips, delighting in the grunt he releases. “I wanted to kiss you so badly.”
“I would have let you.”
I tug a little on the long hair that falls over the back of his neck, forcing him to bring his eyes to mine. “I’m kind of glad we didn’t. I like that we waited until we could be fully honest with each other.”
He places a soft kiss on my lips. “Me too.” His hands trace over the muscles of my calves, up to my thighs, slipping under the skirt of my dress. “Though I really hope I don’t come in my pants tonight.”
“Not going to lie, I hope you don’t either.”
Cord’s fingers toy with the lace tie of my dress. “Is it okay if I take this off?”
I do it for him, practically ripping the damn thing off.
His eyes linger, tracing me from the swells of my breasts down to the barely there lace covering my butt. “You wore this in one of the pictures you sent me.”
“Be honest, how often have you looked at them?”
His gaze meets mine and the blue of his eyes is blazing. “Every fucking day. Sometimes twice a day.”