Chapter Twenty-Four Allegra
Twenty-Four
Allegra
The next week is the blissful montage. You know the scene in every rom-com where the couple is gallivanting around, holding hands and kissing and staring at each other like they are the only two people in the world.
I’ve never felt rom-com montage feelings before, but along with a continuous stream of orgasms, Cord gives me those feelings.
I’d been so worried that being with him would affect my performance in the new ballet, but if anything, the wild amounts of sex the two of us are having, coupled with that honeymoon-stage euphoria mean I am the perfect embodiment of my character.
David lavishes me with praise and drops more than one hint about a promotion on the horizon.
Everything is perfect, and I’ve never been this happy in my life.
So when Cord texts me on a Saturday afternoon as I’m packing up my stuff after class, two weeks after we slept together for the first time, a grin splits my face the second his name pops up on my screen.
Cord: What do you say you come to the theater tonight and we do our dance again?
Me: You mean the great Cord Donovan wants to dance with little old me?
Cord: Only if the esteemed Allegra Hart will lower herself to being seen onstage with me.
Me: Sounds good.
Me: I’m leaving class now, gonna swing by my place and shower and then I’ll head over.
Cord: Cool. I’ll send a car for you.
Me: I’m perfectly fine taking the subway.
Cord: But if I send a car for you, you’ll get here sooner and we can make out in my dressing room until it’s time for us to go on.
Me: …
Me: Fine. I’ll be ready in 20 minutes.
Cord: See you soon
“Good lord, woman, if you don’t stop making eyes at your phone screen, everybody’s going to think you’re watching porn.” Lucy nudges me with her foot.
I’m still sitting on the floor of the studio, and it isn’t until I finally look up from my phone that I realize everyone else has already left. I hop to my feet, tucking my phone in the pocket of my joggers. “Haha. I guess I could just say I’m preparing for my role.”
Lucy raises an eyebrow. “If I had insinuated you were sneak watching porn in the sacred studio a month ago, you would have (a) turned a shade of red brighter than the sun and (b) been mad at me for a week.”
I shrug, turning toward the door, walking quickly because I only have twenty minutes to get to my place, shower, and make myself look presentable. I wonder which set of lingerie I should wear under my dress this time.
“Okay, seriously, Allegra,” Lucy pants as she rushes to keep up with me. “I know you and the stripper guy are hooking up, but this seems like it might be something more.”
I bite my lip, but it doesn’t stop the grin from spreading across my face. “And what if it is?”
“I think that would be amazing. You deserve someone who makes you happy, and you seem happier than I’ve ever seen you.”
A niggle of worry lodges itself in my belly.
“Do you think David noticed?” There’s no explicit policy about company members having partners, obviously, but David has never made it a secret that he looks down on those in serious relationships.
How can one be entirely devoted to ballet if there’s a significant other involved?
“I think everyone has noticed, sweetie. But who cares?”
I shoot her a look. “You know he does.”
“Fuck that, Allegra. David is your boss, he has no right to dictate what happens in your personal life. Morally or legally.”
I come to a halt as we reach the front of my building. “I know, but legal or not, David always seems to get his way.”
Lucy hoists her bag farther up on her shoulder. “Again, fuck that. You’re dancing beautifully, you’ve got the lead role in a new ballet, and your skin is fucking glowing. Lean into it, babe.” She checks her phone for the time. “What have you got planned tonight?”
“I’m heading over to Cord’s theater, actually. We’re going to do our number tonight.”
Her eyes widen. “Fun!”
“You should come! The show is amazing and I can introduce you to everyone after.” Even though Cord and I haven’t performed together since that first night, I’ve been to the theater several times over the past couple of weeks and have had the chance to hang out with most of the guys.
“Yes! I’m in!”
I unlock the front door of my building. “I’ll text you the info, I’ve got to go get ready!”
“See you tonight!” she calls over her shoulder, already turned and heading toward her place.
I take the quickest shower of my life, dress in one of my fancy lingerie sets and the black wrap dress, and grab my ballet bag so I can do my makeup in the car.
Cord greets me at the front entrance when I arrive and I ask him to put Lucy’s name on the list for the evening.
He seems excited about the prospect of meeting one of my friends and I love that he isn’t shying away from meeting my ballet people.
Despite my trepidations, and his, so far he hasn’t had any issues with hearing about my daily routine or the happenings at the studio.
It makes me hopeful, which is a little scary, but there’s not a lot of room for fear when Cord looks at me like he can’t believe his luck.
Our routine is even better the second time, there’s no hesitation or awkwardness, it’s just us, acting out a scenario that’s pretty damn close to how our real relationship has played out. Tonight, when the music fades out, Cord kisses me, and the already deafening cheers grow even louder.
Cord carries me offstage, our mouths still joined together. We break the kiss, but he doesn’t put me down until we’re back in his dressing room.
“Any chance you want to hop up on that desk and let me have my way with you?” We’re still pressed together, Cord’s mouth finding its way to my neck the second the door closed behind us.
“Maybe next time,” I say, even as I capture his mouth in another kiss. “I want to go watch the rest of the show with Lucy.”
Cord sighs and it’s very dramatic. “All right. I suppose I’ll just have to feast on you later.”
I groan, because the offer is tempting. But Lucy has already been on her own for the first part of the show and I really do want to watch with her.
So I push Cord to the opposite side of the room and grab my dress from the pile that one of the stagehands dropped off for us.
I tie the dress and slip into my shoes, kissing him once before heading out.
Lucy, of course, has managed to make friends with the people around her. She tries to introduce me to everyone, but it’s too loud to hear anything. I ask our server for a sparkling water and enjoy watching the rest of the show.
Cord doesn’t come back onstage until the final number, when all of the guys come out for one last hurrah. After the number ends, the lights dim onstage and rise in the house and it takes my eyes and ears a minute to adjust to the bright silence after the screams die down.
More than one person stops to compliment me on the routine, even more than that tell me how lucky I am to have been able to kiss Cord. I don’t bother bragging, telling them I can kiss him whenever I want because sometimes I forget to believe it myself.
The rest of the crowd clears out and Noah is the first one of the performers to find me and Lucy at one of the tables in the back of the theater. I introduce them and definitely notice how his eyes linger on hers, and how her eyes drink him in from head to toe.
Hmmm. I make a mental note of that possible connection and vow to explore it further.
Lucy is a firecracker and Noah is a sweetheart, the two might be the perfect pair.
Cord and a few of the other guys join us and we decide to head next door to the nearest bar.
It’s a little divey, but the music is good and kept at a normal volume so we can all actually hear one another.
Cord, Noah, Lucy, and I find a four top while the rest of the crew claims the pool table in the back.
“So that was an experience,” Lucy starts us off, raising her glass to the center of the table.
The rest of us clink our glasses against hers and drink.
I’m having another sparkling water, with a slice of lime so it feels fancy.
Tomorrow is Sunday—no rehearsals—but I plan to do my normal Sunday routine of working out and going to company class, so even as we’re chatting, I’m keeping an eye on the time.
“What did you think of the show, Lucy?” Noah leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, not because he’s defensive but because it makes his biceps bulge.
“Honestly?” Lucy stabs the ice in her old fashioned with her straw. “I was surprisingly impressed.”
Noah scoffs and Cord shoots me a knowing smile, his hand finding a place on my knee and squeezing gently.
I come to Lucy’s rescue, not that she really needs it. “Not going to lie, I felt the same way the first time I saw it.”
“Yeah, you were so impressed, you coerced this guy into working for you.” Noah shoves Cord’s shoulder, knocking him closer to me.
“Excuse me, I was not working for her. I was blessing her with my vast amount of knowledge.”
“And it paid off.” Lucy raises her glass again. “To Allegra and her lead role!”
We clink glasses again, and even though I’m not drinking alcohol, a warmth fills my belly and spreads through me.
“Cord, are you dying to see Allegra perform the new ballet? I’ve only seen hints of her solos during rehearsals, but so far everything looks like it’s going to be incredible.” Lucy gives me a mock salute.
I smile and squeeze her arm.
But Cord doesn’t say anything in response. His hand drops from my knee and he becomes seriously interested in the shape of the ice cubes in his drink.
Lucy and I exchange a look.
“I, for one, am really looking forward to watching Allegra dance this part. God knows she’s earned this opportunity. I’m sure you can’t wait to see her, too.” She keeps going, digging in further when all I want is for her to back off.
This question should have a very simple answer. An answer Cord isn’t giving.
His jaw tenses and he still refuses to look up from his drink. “I don’t go to the ballet. So while I’m sure Allegra is going to be amazing, I won’t be there to see it.”
An immediate cloud of fury overtakes Lucy’s face, but I shoot her a pleading look. She purses her lips and her eyes tighten, but she doesn’t say anything.
“What do you mean you won’t be there to see it?” I ask quietly.
Noah pushes his stool back from the table. “I need another drink. Lucy, care to join me at the bar?”
Lucy waits for me to give her a nod, a signal that I’m okay, before she joins Noah. Of course, the look she shoots Cord as she walks away from the table would make a lesser man tremble in his boots.
Once they’re gone, Cord sits back in his seat and sighs. I wait for him to answer my question because I don’t know that I have the strength to ask it again.
“I was planning on having this talk a little closer to opening.”
“About how you don’t plan to be there for the most important opening night of my career?” I try to keep my voice neutral, but his response is so unexpected, such an out-of-the-blue dart to the chest, that I don’t think I do a good job moderating my tone.
Cord reaches for my hand, and I let him take it. “There’s still a lot we haven’t talked about when it comes to my past with ballet, Slippers.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Is it worse than what happened with Chloe?”
He shakes his head. “No. That was the breaking point. The moment when we could no longer ignore all the ways ballet was hurting us. But that one single moment in time was the culmination of a lifetime of small abuses.” His fingers tighten around mine.
“I know you know exactly what I’m talking about, Allegra, because I know you’ve witnessed them and experienced them yourself. ”
He’s right, of course. The world of ballet has a lot of problems, and though the community at large is working to correct many of them, they still exist. Everything from teachers fat-shaming young girls to the pervasive need for perfection at any cost. Ballet dancers put our health and safety at risk pretty much every day, just by dancing the way we do.
As a kid, I was always told those who raised a fuss were too weak to hack it.
I know better now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t tolerate a lot for love of the art.
“What I choose to tolerate is my own business, Cord.”
“I know, and I would never try to tell you otherwise. I respect your boundaries, Allegra. And I need you to do the same for me.”
I let out a long breath. “And one of your boundaries is never seeing another ballet, ever again?”
“I have a problem supporting an institution I know to be abusive.” He finally meets my gaze and his eyes are defeated.
It’s the sadness that does me in. I know it’s going to take me some time to process this latest revelation, but I know, more than anything else, that I want Cord to be happy.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” There’s a tinge of hope in his repetition.
“Okay. If that is a boundary you don’t want to cross, then I respect that. I don’t like it, of course. I wish you could be there to see the payoff of all your hard work with me, but I respect your decision.”
He leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips. “Thank you, Allegra.”
“I’m in this for the long haul, Cord, and I realize that’s going to come with some compromises.
” I know in my heart it’s the right thing to say, just like I know deep down that I really mean it.
But it feels a little bit like I’m lying to him, and I hate that.
I pull out my phone, making a show of checking the time. “I should probably head out.”
Lucy appears at my side at the exact right moment. “Should we share a cab?”
I nod, grateful.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to call a car for you?” Cord stands when I do, his hands shoved in his pockets.
“We’re fine, I’m sure we won’t have an issue getting a cab.” I flash Lucy a look.
“I’ll meet you out front,” she tells me. I watch her whisper something to Noah as she passes by him at the bar on her way.
“Will you let me know when you get home?” Cord looks like he’s fighting to not reach for me.
I put him out of his misery, tucking myself into his embrace. “I will.”
He takes my cheeks in his hands when I pull away. “Allegra, I…”
I wait for him to fill in the blank, but he doesn’t. So I kiss him softly, say my goodbyes to the rest of the guys, and push through the door of the bar.