23. Jesse
23
Jesse
Present Day
I’m relaxing in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. Lucy's sitting at my feet, gazing up at me with big ol’ puppy dog eyes. The past forty eight hours of my life have completely uprooted and changed me.
I’ve gotten on my knees, prayed and cried for God to help guide me as I make a decision that will forever change my life. I know that there is no possible way that I would ever knowingly abandon a child. Especially my own child. I know that I want to be a part of Harrison's life. I just don’t know if he will accept me.
I don’t really know anything about the kid other than he looks a little bit like me and likes to play video games. Every time I’ve laid my eyes on him, he just glares at me. And then there's all of the conflicted feelings that I have about his mother.
I’ve never loved another woman the way that I love Coraline. Sure, we were young when we fell in love, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. We were best friends in middle school and started dating in high school. You hear the term puppy love in young kids but I loved her unconditionally, with my entire heart. That’s why I was so broken when she left me.
My mind keeps drifting back to that letter from the other night, and each time, I get angrier. The frustration builds up again, like I’m reliving it all over. My mom has literally ruined my life because she has some sick obsession with me. I'm mad at myself for not putting the bigger picture together sooner.
I tried moving on, but every time I went on a date, Cora always crossed my mind, and without realizing it, I’d start comparing everyone to her. It’s like I couldn’t help myself.
I've tried to creep on her social media pages, hoping to find something that would help me understand her and the kids better. But after searching her name on social media for a third time, I remember that I still have her blocked. I should probably fix that first.
After I unblocked her on everything, I quickly learned that all of her accounts are private and I’m too nervous to send her a request right now, so I'll just continue to creep.
On one of her pages I found a picture of her and the kids standing with a man. Someone had posted the picture and tagged them in it. The man in the picture is blond with brown eyes. That must be Michael's dad, Nash.
I click on his profile. His picture is of him and Michael posing for a selfie. Michael is cheesing with a big ol grin and Nash just looks constipated.
His cover photo is a picture of Cora, Michael and him. Harrison was very obviously cropped out. Anger starts to rise up in me again. The fact that he publicly made a difference between the kids raises even more questions about this guy's integrity.
I pull out my cell phone and send a text to Cora.
Hey, this is Jesse. If you’re free, can I call you?
Within two minutes my phone starts to vibrate with an incoming call.
“Hello, this is Jesse.”
“Hey Jess, it’s me, Coraline.”
“Hi, Cora. So, I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day. I’d like to meet up, grab a bite to eat, and talk in person about my decision.” My leg starts bouncing, and I spill some coffee on the table. Lucy looks up at me, tilting her head sideways.
“That sounds great. I’m at work right now, but can you meet me at the Scottsdale Diner tonight at seven?”
“I’ll see you there,” I reply, hanging up the phone.
I’m sitting in my favorite booth when the door chimes. Coraline walks in through the door and my breath catches in my chest. I still can’t believe one person can be this beautiful.
She’s wearing a pink sundress and her hair is pulled back into a ponytail. She scans the room, and when her eyes find mine, they light up. I wave her over to my table.
“Thank you for coming.”
“No problem,” she replies, offering a small smile.
“Have you said anything to him?” I ask, pushing a little.
“No, not yet. I was waiting for you to make a decision first.” She slides her purse off her shoulder and settles into the booth across from me.
I take a deep breath, clearing my throat. “I want to be a part of his life, Cora. As much as he’ll allow me to.”
She nods, her expression softening. “That’s great. I’m so relieved. I’ll talk to him and let you know what he says. After that, we can figure out a time for you two to officially meet.”
“Thank you, Cora,” I say, my voice a little strained as I fight the burning sensation in the back of my throat. My chest tightens and I grab my leg, trying to stop it from bouncing too hard.
“It’s the least I can do,” she replies, her voice gentle.
I nod, pretending to focus on the menu in front of me. We settle into a quiet, comfortable silence as we wait for someone to take our order. Pamela had already gone home for the day so it was one of the newer staff members who took our drink order.
“So, do you have any questions about anything?” Cora asks, folding her hands neatly on the table.
“Only about a million,” I reply, joking. “What does Harrison like to do? I know he’s into video games. Does he play any sports?”
“He loves games, but he’s not into sports. I've always hoped that one of my boys would get into football so I could watch the cheerleaders,” she says with a shrug. “But Harrison hasn’t shown much interest. Neither has Michael.”
“What does he like to eat?”
“He’s all about pizza and chicken nuggets. He's a very picky eater, I think he takes that after you.”
That gets a real smile out of me. “Can I see some pictures of him?”
“Of course,” she replies. Cora pulls out her phone and opens an album filled with pictures of Harrison, from his birth to now.
“Can you airdrop some of these to me?” I ask, my voice thick as tears blur my vision.
“Yes, no problem,” she says quietly, tapping away at her phone.
“This may not be my place to ask, but how did Michael’s dad treat them?” I say, my gaze dropping to my hands.
“Oh, I guess it sorta is your place to know these things now, considering the situation,” she replies, taking a sip of her pop. “Nash was a good dad to Michael, but he never treated Harrison the same way, and it was obvious. I don’t know what you’ve heard or haven’t heard, but he’s in jail. I helped put him there. I’m not with him, and I never will be again. He had a drinking problem, and he did things to me that he never should have. But... he didn’t do any physical harm to the boys.”
I’m speechless, a rush of red-hot anger floods through me. I close my eyes and take a few steadying breaths. I’ll never understand how anyone could treat someone like Cora so badly. I don’t understand how anyone could hurt an innocent child, even if it wasn’t physical. Sometimes the things that other people say stick with you for a lifetime, no matter how old you are.
“How did you all meet? How did…”
“How did I end up with a monster?” She finishes for me, her voice quiet. “They say even the devil is a beautiful deceiver. Nash was very good at acting. He showed one side to the world, the side he wanted everyone to see, and the other side… well, that’s who he really was. When I met him, I was young. I just wanted someone to love me, and I walked right into his trap.” She pauses, her gaze drifting off for a moment.
“Nash was the first person who ever showed interest in me since I became a mom,” she continues, her voice soft but steady. “There were hundreds of red flags that I flat-out ignored because it felt nice just to have someone’s attention.”
“I was with him for less than a year when I let him talk me into getting pregnant with Michael. We were never married, and he was incredibly controlling—sneaky, too. He wanted all the perks of being a husband without the commitment, and I let that happen. I regret it now. But, I’m putting it all behind me. My focus is on bettering myself and giving my kids the life they deserve.”
“Cora, I’m so sorry,” I say, the weight of my regret heavy in my chest. “I should have been there for you back then. I should have returned your calls. If I could go back and change it, I would. But we can’t change the past, and you’re here now. You came back to Scottsdale for a fresh start, so maybe we can have a fresh start too? Put all our differences aside?”
“I think I’d like that,” she says, offering a soft, genuine smile.
We continue making small talk for the rest of dinner. I choose not to bring up anything more about Nash or their relationship, even though I really, really want to. Instead, I focus on learning everything I can about Harrison. I jot down all the little details in the notes app on my phone, storing away facts about him for the future.
“I do have a few questions of my own for you Jesse.”
“Okay, go ahead.” I lean back in the booth and raise an eyebrow.
“The first one is kind of an invasive question, but I need to clear the air." She clears her throat, "When you confronted your mom, what happened?”
I give her a quick rundown of everything that went down at my parents’ house, explaining what my mom had admitted. I tell her about finally reading the letter she’d kept hidden all this time, and how my mom had kept my dad in the dark.
“I don’t think either one of us would be comfortable with my mother in the picture,” I continue, “Would you be open to my dad meeting the kids one day?”
“I’ve always liked your dad Jess. I think as long as he's truly as innocent as you believe him to be, then I would be okay with it. But only if Harrison wants to meet him.”
“Fair enough.” I add.
“Okay, last question. This one isn’t as invasive,” she says with a small smile. “What made you buy your house?”
I’ve been expecting this question. I shift a little in my seat, a bit nervous about how to answer. I had to really bargain with the guy who used to own the land. In the end, I offered him three times his asking price because I just had to have it. But I’m almost embarrassed to admit why—I don’t want her to think I’m some kind of creep holding onto the past, but the place has always meant so much to me.
“Well, a few years ago, I ran into some money, and my dad helped me come up with a design for my dream house. I wanted it to be on the lake and close to Camp Willowbrooke. I figured there wasn’t a better spot for me to buy other than our old fishing hangout.”
“I knew it!” she exclaims, her cheeks turning a soft shade of pink. I can tell she’s thinking of the same night we shared there. “So, you designed the house?” she asks.
“I did,” I reply, taking a sip of my almost empty drink.
“It’s beautiful from the outside,” she says quietly, almost shy. “I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I’ve admired the house every day from my kitchen window. Even before I knew you lived there.”
I can’t help but smile. “I’m glad you like it. Maybe one day, when you’re ready, you can take a look at the inside too.”