30. Coraline
30
Coraline
I feel an extra pep in my step as I walk up the steps into the Scottsdale Clinic. I feel different. Stronger. More at peace with myself than I have in a long time.
Yesterday felt so freeing. After I went to the altar, the whole church sang ' Amazing Grace '. There were lots of happy tears and hugs. I was so caught up that I didn’t have time to talk to Shae because we had to leave and go straight to Granna and Pappy’s.
I have my iced coffee in one hand and I use the other to open the door. I’ve gotten into a good routine these past few weeks of working here. I’ve established a great relationship with my patients and my new work family.For the first time in a while, I’m really present in my work, not distracted by the noise of everything going on in my life.
When I walk in, Shae is sitting at the front desk waiting for me. She's sipping her drink and looking at me with her eyebrows raised, waiting for me to fill her in.
“Okay, so I know you’re on to me,” I say, throwing my hands up in mock surrender.
“On to you? Coraline, the whole congregation and anyone with eyes can see the way you two have been looking at each other.” She sits her drink down, the smirk widening as she folds her arms across her chest. “It’s more than obvious that something’s happened. I’m just glad that it finally did.”
My mouth drops open in disbelief. I totally thought she was going to be against us seeing each other, that she’d have some kind of lecture ready for me. But here she is, giving me an unexpected stamp of approval.
“Is it that obvious?” I whisper, my face flushing. I cringe inwardly, but I can’t help it—this whole thing feels so new, so raw.
“Yes,” she deadpans. “Now are you going to tell me about it or what?”
I start off by briefing her about the play dates with the kids. I tell her about the fishing excursion with Lloyd yesterday and how happy the kids were. I mention the building tension over the past few days and the kiss. She squealed when I told her about it.
“I am so happy for you guys,” Shae says as she pulls me into a hug, squeezing me tight. I can feel the genuine warmth in her embrace.
“Yeah,” I reply as I hug her back, “I am too. That’s enough about me, though. How are you doing?”
“I’m living the dream,” Shae jokes, rolling her eyes with her signature sass.
“Aren’t we all,” I snort, making a face. “But really, are you and John still doing good? I haven’t heard you talk about him much lately.”
“We’re doing okay,” she says, her voice softening just a little. “I’ve just been stressed out over wedding planning, and he’s been swamped with his job.” She looks off into space for a moment, her expression distant, like she's trying to process something.
I know that look—it's the same one she gets when she’s not fully ready to talk about whatever's weighing on her.
“Yeah, I heard about the cow incident,” I say, trying to lighten the mood, knowing she’ll appreciate a good laugh.
Shae exhales with a chuckle. “Yeah, that was something else. Day in the life of the town’s only emergency vet,” she adds, her tone dry but amused.
She stands up from her chair, stretching as she walks toward the filing cabinet, pulling out charts and organizing them with practiced ease. It’s a slow day today, which is a relief.
I lean against the counter, watching her work. “Are you still planning on getting married next year?” I prod gently, trying to bring it back to her and John.
“I think so,” she replies with a shrug, her voice a little uncertain, like she’s still weighing the decision.
“You think so?” I ask, confused. “I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”
Shae slams the file cabinet door a little harder than necessary, and I can see her frustration flicker in her eyes before she turns around to face me. “I’m half tempted to call it off and just go to the courthouse. It would definitely be less stressful, and cheaper.”
The words hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn’t realized just how much she was carrying. “Well, that I can understand,” I say softly, “but only if it’s what you both want."
I start to feel a wave of guilt wash over me. I’ve been so caught up in my own life, in the whirlwind of the past few days, that I didn’t even stop to check in on my best friend. Shae has always been there for me. She's always been the one to listen to me when I needed to vent, and here I am, barely noticing how much she’s struggling.
“If there’s any way I can help you, just let me know,” I offer.
Her shoulders slump slightly, and she lets out a breath like she’s been holding it in for a while. “I think I will take you up on that offer,” she says, her voice a little softer than before.
“We can make it fun! I’ve never been married and I’ve only been to one wedding my whole life, but I will do whatever I can.” It does kind of make me excited to be able to help her. I enjoy planning birthday parties for my kids and I’m fairly decent at it. “I’ll start doing some research ASAP.”
“Thanks Cora. I appreciate it.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Shae!” I say, my voice thick with emotion. “I just wish you would’ve said something sooner.”
She sighs, looking down at the folders in her hands like she’s trying to gather the strength to say something she’s been holding back. “You’ve just had so much going on—moving, Nash, and now Jesse. I didn’t think you needed my stress too.”
She bites the inside of her cheek, trying to hold back whatever it is that’s weighing on her, her eyes never quite meeting mine. “But it’s okay. I have thick skin and big shoulders. I’ll get through it. It’ll be fine.”
I feel a lump form in my throat. “I know it will, but I just want you to know that you shouldn’t have to do it alone! And just in case there’s something going on that you’re not ready to talk about yet, I want to remind you that you can talk to me. I won’t judge you, Shae. I want to be here for you, just like you’re always here for me.”
The words hit her, and I can see the struggle in her eyes as her gaze flickers between the floor and my face. Her eyes begin to swim with unshed tears, and I can tell she’s fighting hard not to blink them away, to keep her composure.
I reach forward, taking the folders gently from her hands, and pull her into a hug.
“I love you, Shae. And I’m not going anywhere.”
She whimpers softly against my shoulder, her body finally giving in to the tears she’s been holding back. She nods her head, her arms wrapping around me tightly, and I feel the weight she’s been carrying start to lift, even if just a little.
“Why don’t you head home for the day?” I suggest. “We’re not that busy. I think we can handle it.”
“No, I can’t do that to you all. I would feel awful.” She takes a tissue from the front desk and blots at the mascara from under her eyes.
“Well, I feel awful that you’re hurting and you have to pretend like everything's okay at work. Stop for some coffee and get a sweet treat on the way home. Maybe do some self care and try to relax?”
“What about Dr. Dawson?” Shae asks, still reluctant to give in.
“What about him?” I reply with a shrug. “He'll understand. You never take time off, and I guarantee you have more PTO than all of us combined. Go home! Take a mental health day. I've got this!”
I make a shoo motion with my hands, and after a second of hesitation, she finally gives in with a heavy sigh.
“Fine, fine. But if you need anything—”
“I’ll call you, don’t worry,” I say, giving her a teasing grin. "Now go take care of yourself."
She grabs her purse and heads toward the door. I watch her go, still wishing she would let me in on whatever’s really going on. But for now, I’ll just have to be patient.
I pick up my iced coffee and finish it in one go, the cold sweetness hitting me with a jolt of energy. I’m definitely going to need more of this today.
But for Shae... I just hope that, whenever she’s ready, she opens up to me. She hardly ever gets upset, and that’s what worries me. Something is off, I can feel it, but she’s not one to show vulnerability easily.
I say a quick prayer for her, hoping she finds the peace she needs, and just as I finish, the front door to the clinic opens with a soft chime, signaling our first patient of the day.