7
Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing at all. —Pride I switched his sport to rowing. It was all extremely satisfying.
“Revenge revision.” My roommate cackles. “I love it. But you also might want to revise that scene where Will kisses Lizzy.”
“I love that scene.” In the second chapter, Will Danzie kisses Lizzy Brooks under the mistletoe. And yes, Will might look an awful like Liam Darcy. And yes, maybe I worked out all my misguided attraction to him in that one scene.
“It’s an excellent scene. But don’t you think it’s a problem that your heroine has more chemistry with the villain than the hero?”
“She does not!”
“You keep telling yourself that.” And now, I’m pretty sure Char is talking about more than the book. But I ignore her comment.
“Okay, so besides the Will character, what do you think of the book?”
“It’s your best one yet,” Char beams at me, and I know she means it. My roommate is not one for excessive praise. “Will steals the show, but that’s not a problem. Everyone loves an anti-hero.”
“You’re kidding, right? That guy’s a conceited jerk.”
“Just wait until the reviews come in. You’ll see. But I’m serious, Lettie, you may want to consider changing his name.”
“There’s no way Liam Darcy or anyone he knows will ever read my book.”
“I thought you said your sales are up.”
This is true. My sales have been steadily climbing. So much so that I’ve recently turned in my two weeks’ notice at Bennet Parties.
“They are. But my books are only available on Amazon under my pen name. There’s no way Liam would ever connect the book back to me. And if he did? So what? Calling him a jerk to his face is far worse than making him the villain in my latest romance. It’s fiction, it’s totally harmless. He’d probably take it as a compliment. Say something smug about me being obsessed with him.”
“And he’d be right,” says Char. “I still think you should change the name and tweak a few details.”
“You take all the fun out of a revenge revision.”
“Hey! I don’t want you to ruin your chances with Darcy.”
“Oh, that ship has sailed. Liam has no interest in me.”
“I’m not so sure.” Char steals a Twizzler from me. “I bet he still likes you.”
“If he liked me, he could try apologizing.”
“Have you apologized to him?” Char asks.
“No, but I don’t like him.”
Char chuckles. “Keep telling yourself that, Lettie, keep telling yourself that.”
***
It’s my last day at work. I’ve passed off all projects and cleared my desk. Lydia now shares the turret office with Jane. I’m hanging out in the “lobby,” the formal living room of the old house, killing time before my “surprise” going-away party, which Priscilla accidentally told me about. I take out my laptop intending to do a little writing. I’m sitting on a green velvet Chesterton sofa, which is going bald in a few spots but is divinely comfortable. I flip open my computer and go to my author dashboard to check my sales.
“What have we here?” At the sound of Noah’s voice, I slap my laptop shut. He’s standing right behind me.
“Noah!”
“Who’s Collette Best?”
“Nobody, just an author I like.” Shoot, he must have been standing behind me longer than I realized. I wonder what else he saw.
“Oh! She writes smut. That’s why you hid your screen so fast.” He breaks out into a wicked grin. “Don’t worry, Lettie, I won’t judge.”
“No, she doesn’t write smut, just love stories.”
“Chill! Maybe a snob like Liam Darcy might judge you for reading romance. But never me.” He gives me his sweet, sad puppy eyes. “I think everything you do is perfect.”
“Thanks.” He’s such a flirt. But I don’t mind being told I’m perfect.
“Speaking of Darcy, what happened with you two?” He vaults over the couch and sits next to me.
“Nothing, it went nowhere.”
“I’m so relieved.” He gazes at me with meaning. “Mainly for me but also for you. You dodged a bullet.”
“That’s right, you two were childhood friends.”
“Did he ever mention me? Tell you how his father took advantage of his friendship with my dad to buy out our family farm when we hit hard times.”
“Um... that’s not exactly the sort of thing you tell a girl on a date.” But this story does make me regret Liam a little less.
“That’s what happened. My dad was desperate. He had nowhere to go, and his best friend took advantage of him. In exchange, he promised us permanent jobs at Pemberley Almonds.”
“But you don’t work there?” I ask.
“I don’t want to talk about that. I’m just glad you’re safe from Liam. He’s broken so many hearts.”
“I don’t think Liam is that big of a player.” According to Jane, he hasn’t dated anyone since me.
“I admit, his game has been off since his dad died. But believe me, once he gets going, that guy is dangerous.”
“Really? I’m not sure about that. He’s not that smooth. Sometimes he can be awkward, and he’s so uptight.”
“That’s Darcy to the tee.” Noah slaps his knee and laughs. “But he can be charming when he needs to be.” I think of him at the gala, twirling me on the dance floor, hanging on my every word. He was incredibly appealing. “He dazzles women with his money and good looks, leading them on with the promise of something permanent,” says Noah. “But as soon as he sleeps with them, he ghosts them.”
“Don’t worry about me. He was such a jerk on that date. I’m totally immune to him.”
“That’s a huge relief. I’d hate to see him do that to you. He really hurt a friend of mine, a girl I worked with. And when I reported it to HR, I was fired.”
“How’s that even legal?”
“If you’re rich enough, you don’t have to worry about the law. Firing me was just another day at work for Liam. The dude gets away with so much.”
Ugh! And to think I’d been regretting calling him a jerk. Char had almost convinced me to feel guilty about my revenge revision. Will Danzie, in my book, doesn’t prey on women; he’s just an arrogant, egotistical grump who’s a pain to work with. After hearing Noah’s stories, I’m not sure my revenge revision goes far enough.
“That’s horrible.”
“It is what it is,” Noah shrugs. “You can’t trust everyone.” He gives me a winning smile. “Now tell me, how am I going to keep in touch with you after you leave? Can I get your number?”
***
My roommate is skeptical when I tell her what Noah said about Darcy, which is so like Char. Whenever I cite a statistic, she asks for my source. When I tell her about a study, she wants to know the sample size. I can’t tell you how many times Char has told me anecdotal stories don’t count as evidence.
“Sounds like sour grapes to me,” she says. “Noah probably got fired by Darcy and wants to get revenge.” We’re eating pork buns at a shop a block from our apartment.
“But Char, you know how these things are. No one believes the woman. The man always gets away with it.”
“Ahem, yes, and if a woman told you this story. I’d agree. But all you have is a vague account from a cute guy you barely know.”
“I have more than that. I have Liam’s brutish behavior at that party.”
“You have got to let that go. From what I heard, it was a pretty great date until, in a case of sexual tension gone awry, you both lost your tempers.”
“There was no sexual tension.”
“Lettie, I saw you two before you left on that date. I saw how Liam looked at you. And I saw how you looked at him.”
“You weren’t at the gala. You don’t know how insufferable he was.”
“If I’d been there. I’d have even more evidence.” I consider this for a moment. I think of dancing with Liam. She might have a point. But no, no, no, in the end, he was terrible, horrible, insufferable.
“Why are you always team Darcy?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Char asks. “I can give you at least two billion reasons.”
***
“I think I’ll be sick that weekend,” I tell Jane when she tells me about the party at Liam Darcy’s. We’ve just been seated for brunch outside Butter and Bacon. The morning sun glints off Jane’s engagement ring. Her engagement ring! I can’t wrap my mind around this new development. I knew Charlie was a smitten kitten, but I didn’t expect a proposal, not this soon.
I’ve seen less and less of Jane since my date with Liam. Whenever she wanted me to hang out with her and Charlie, I would ask: “Will he be there?” Her answer was almost always: “Liam might join us.” And I would graciously bow out. So we’ve been doing a lot less together. And since I quit Bennet Parties, we’ve hardly seen each other. She’s been busy with Charlie, and I’ve been busy with my writing and teaching.
Just last week, I was given another curve ball. I found out that due to budget cuts, the university is not renewing my contract. So, I’ve been brushing up my CV and looking for job postings. I’ve been busy, and Jane’s engagement has taken me totally by surprise. She just told me about the engagement party in two weeks at Liam Darcy’s house.
“You can’t hide from him forever,” she chides
“That is precisely my plan. He said he never wanted to see me again. So I’m going to make sure that happens.”
“He only said that because his feelings were hurt. No one likes rejection.”
“I didn’t reject him—exactly.” Jane raises an eyebrow. “Okay, maybe I could have been nicer. But the same goes for him.”
“According to Liam, he was nice,” says Jane.
“Did he say that?” I can perfectly picture his arrogant face as he said, “You’re wrong about this.” He stated his opinions like they were facts. Just thinking about that debate gets my blood rising. “Oh, he was very nice.” I remember the feel of his hand on my back. “Until he wasn’t. And then he was atrocious. I could never be with someone like that.”
“Too bad, Charlie thinks he’s still interested. Did you know he still asks about you?” No, I did not. And I have to admit that this information boosts my ego. It doesn’t make me like him anymore. But it is good to know. “Liam told Charlie he hopes to see you at the engagement party. He promised to be on his best behavior.”
“He said that?”
“Yeah, and he’s going to bring a date. I suggest you do the same.” I perk up. Maybe I could ask Noah. There’s bad blood between those two. And the thought of irritating Liam Darcy is irresistible. Also, this will be a twofer. Noah has been low-key flirting with me by text ever since I gave him my number. It’s time we find out if maybe we could be more than friends.
I text Noah as Jane takes a call from her mom.
Lettie
Are you free Saturday, June 22?
Noah
If it’s to spend time with you, yes!
Lettie
Great, I need a date to Jane’s engagement party.
Noah
Awesome! What time? Where?
I give him all the details and am beginning to feel better about this engagement party.
“Soooo... how did Charlie propose?” I ask when Jane finishes her phone call.
“It was absolutely perfect,” she begins. “We were going on a picnic, and it was so cute. He had it all packed up in a wicker basket and everything in the cutest rowboat.” This sounds a bit cheesy but also perfect for Charlie and Jane.
“Did you get photos?”
“Of course! Charlie took care of that. He hired multiple photographers. Though I didn’t notice any of them until after he popped the question.”
“Did this come as a surprise, or did you suspect?”
“When I saw the picnic basket, I knew he was going to propose. I just didn’t know how. I thought he’d do something at our picnic spot. But no! He totally surprised me. As he rowed us across the reservoir, a small plane buzzed low over the water, pulling a banner that read: Marry Me, Jane?! I immediately jumped up, the boat rocked, and I fell in.”
“No! You fell in!”
“Yes, Charlie dove in after me.”
“The ring!” I gasp. There’s a very nice ring on Jane’s hand, so I know there’s a happy ending. But Charlie must have had it on him. “It went in the water right with Charlie; it was in his pocket. But it was wrapped tight in a bag with a floatie.”
“Thank goodness!”
“Yes, Charlie thinks of everything.” Jane’s eyes go soft and dreamy. “He pulled me back in the boat and then retrieved the ring. Then Liam flew back over us.”
“Liam was flying the plane?” Why does it bug me that I didn’t know this about him? I hardly know him at all. But still, I feel like I should have known he had a pilot’s license.
“Of course, who else owns a plane? So he flies over us and showers us with rose petals. It was really pretty, but because I was wet, the petals stuck to me; I looked like a drowned chicken.” She shows me a selfie of her and Charlie together with the ring safely on her hand. She does look like a wet chicken. It’s not your picture-perfect engagement photo. It’s so much better.
“You’re right,” I say as soon as I catch my breath from laughing. “That is the perfect proposal.”
“I know. I’m so happy!” Jane keeps staring at her ring. She’s so adorably content that I hardly mind that I have to see Liam Darcy again.