Chapter 40
‘Sorry about that,’ I said as I returned to the shop, forcing a smile on my face and brightness into my voice. ‘Customer forgot his change.’
They both looked at me, bewildered expressions on their faces, and I suspected they hadn’t even noticed me leave.
‘Can I help you with anything?’ I asked.
‘Just trying to decide which fragrance a friend would like best,’ one of them said. ‘We’ve narrowed it down to three.’
‘That’s a good start. Shout if you need me.’
They resumed their sniffing and I returned to the counter.
Had that just happened? Had Will really just walked into my shop?
Feeling shaken and needing to focus on something work-related, I retrieved the envelope from the bag he’d given me and found sixty pounds and a note asking for six bears rather than four, as well as the details about the favourite shirts and Fen’s dad’s personality.
I had everything I needed and felt excited about creating six new memory bears.
The women finally made their choice and left.
Across the afternoon, I replayed the encounter with Will on a loop in my head, thinking of so many better things I could have said.
Could I have blown it by chasing him down the street and blurting out what had happened?
He’d already told me he was interested in the full explanation but had too much going on in his life to hear it right now.
I’d listened but I’d ignored him. That was disrespectful of me.
Between customers, I finished making my memory bear but I was too distracted by Will to experience the usual feeling of satisfaction and jubilation that accompanied the completion of any sewing project.
After turning the closed sign round and cashing up for the day, I went up to the flat and told Trevor about my day.
The chicken casserole I’d set away this morning in the slow cooker smelled divine but I didn’t have the stomach for it and, after pushing it round my plate for several minutes, I shoved it aside with a sigh.
Feeling restless, I put my boots on, grabbed my coat, hat and keys and left the flat.
It was dark so a walk alongside the lake was out of the question but I could do a lap of the village.
The wind was stronger than it had been this afternoon but it wasn’t particularly cold.
I turned right out of the shop and right again at the corner, taking me alongside the main road out of the village.
There were streets on the left and the right so I wandered along each, picking out the houses I liked the most and imagining what they looked like inside.
Try as I might to keep houses my sole focus, my thoughts kept drifting back to Will.
He’d promised me he’d ring and I believed him but how long would he need?
Days? Weeks? Months? What could his complications be?
Had he remarried? Could he be going through a second divorce?
I passed The Hardy Herdwick and turned right into Paulette’s street.
A man walking a golden retriever said ‘hello’ as he passed and I paused outside the village hall.
The lights were on but the blinds were down so I couldn’t see what was happening inside.
Reaching Paulette’s house, I checked my watch.
It was ten past seven so not an unreasonable hour to ring the bell.
Saffy answered the door, looking lovely in a pair of dark jeans and a sparkly top.
‘Hi, Yvonne,’ she said, beaming at me.
‘I was out for a walk and I thought I’d drop in and see your grandma. But if it’s a bad time…’
‘Perfect timing as I’m about to abandon her for the evening.’
‘Going anywhere nice?’ I asked as I stepped into the hall. ‘You look stunning, by the way.’
‘Thank you. I’ve got a date with Felix.’
‘The fit chef? Oh, Saffy, that’s fantastic.’
‘I’m so nervous. I’ve never dated anyone but Kyle.’
‘You’ll have a great time.’
We joined Paulette in the lounge and Saffy offered to make drinks, saying she was ready far too early and in need of a distraction.
‘I met Mel for lunch yesterday,’ Saffy said when she handed me a mug of tea shortly after.
‘Thanks for giving me her card, Yvonne. It was so helpful chatting to her. She’s given me a couple of interior design scenarios and asked me to share my ideas with her later this month.
I know she’d said to you that she couldn’t guarantee any work but that sounds promising, doesn’t it? ’
I nodded. ‘It sounds like she was impressed with you during your chat and now wants to see what you’re capable of. Do you think interior design’s something you might like to do?’
‘I loved designing the shop – probably my favourite worky thing I’ve done so far – so I’m keen to look into it.’ She nervously checked the time on her phone. ‘Are you ready for me to set you up on a dating app yet?’
I grimaced.
‘You said you’d let me do it after the Easter holidays were over and we’re more than halfway through.’
I smiled at her, recalling the conversation we’d had while setting up the shop.
‘Nice try, but I told you I’d consider it after the Easter holidays. How about you focus on your own love life for now and I’ll give you a shout if and when I’m ready to let you meddle in mine?’
Saffy grinned back at me. ‘You’re on!’ The doorbell rang and she squealed. ‘That’ll be him. Wish me luck.’
‘Good luck,’ Paulette and I chorused and Paulette stood up to hug her granddaughter.
‘Felix is a nice lad,’ Paulette said when the front door closed. ‘She was so excited when he asked her out. I think they’ll be good together.’
‘Another reason for her to stick around here,’ I said.
Paulette nodded. ‘How are we already a week into April and they haven’t made peace?’
‘Do they speak to her at all?’
‘Andrew phones her every week but it’s always the same day and time and Saffy knows that’s when Joanne goes out so she’s convinced Joanne doesn’t know he’s doing it, which means Joanne thinks they’ve severed ties and is clearly okay with that.’
‘That must hurt.’
‘It does. If she’d just finished three years at university, spent all her time going out drinking, skipped all her lectures and failed her finals, I could understand them being annoyed at spending a fortune for nothing, but she dropped out after one term and the punishment really doesn’t fit the crime, especially when there’s no crime committed. ’
There was nothing I could say that hadn’t been said already so I settled on a sympathetic eyeroll.
‘If Saffy goes on too much about dating apps, you know you can tell her to button it,’ Paulette said.
I laughed. ‘It’s fine. I’m just not ready, especially after what happened today…’
Paulette sipped on her tea as I filled her in on Will’s appearance in the shop.
‘What do you think the complications could be?’ she asked.
‘I’m not sure. I wondered if it could be a messy divorce.
He wasn’t wearing a ring. If he’d been widowed, I think he’d have shared that after I told him I was.
There was a vulnerability about him which there hadn’t been twenty years ago so I think that, whatever it is he’s going through, it’s big.
Of course, his dad’s passed away recently as that’s why I’m making the bears but if it was connected to that, surely he’d have said. ’
‘You could tie yourself in knots speculating,’ Paulette said. ‘Do you wish you’d asked for his number?’
I pondered that for a moment before shaking my head.
‘I think it’s best I can’t get in touch with him because, if I could, I’d want to and it would probably push him away.
If he doesn’t get in touch, that’s his right, especially after I ran out on him.
He said he needs time and, if anyone understands that, it’s me. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.’
‘But you want it to be,’ she said, her voice soft.
I didn’t need to think about it. Seeing him again today had confirmed everything I’d believed over the past two decades.
‘As much now as I did twenty years ago. Probably more. I know it’s a strong statement to make but I can’t help thinking that it’s Will or nobody.’