Chapter 25
25
‘You seem a little subdued today. Is everything all right?’ Reginald asks gently. We’re having tea in his small living room on the day after my disastrous meeting with Abby’s father; I’m sitting on the sofa as usual and he’s in his ‘whizzy’ chair, which I now know earned its name because it has a motor inside that lifts it up when he presses a button and makes it easier for him to stand.
‘Sorry,’ I reply. ‘The truth is that I’ve been working hard on a project for the last couple of weeks, but it’s all come to nothing and I’m disappointed.’
‘Of course you are,’ he says sympathetically. ‘What was the project?’
‘I was working with the owner of The Mermaid,’ I tell him. ‘I thought we could restore it to its glory days and reopen it.’
‘What a lovely idea. What happened?’
‘The owner’s father.’ I sigh deeply.
‘Oh. Perhaps you’d better start at the beginning.’
‘It’s not a very interesting story.’
‘I’m sure it is, and I don’t have anything else to do. Humour an old man.’
‘Fine. So you know the council turned down the planning permission to turn it into flats?—’
‘Dennis Mountford and his cronies,’ Reginald interrupts disapprovingly.
‘Exactly. But I know hotels, and I reckoned there was a good business case to reopen it.’
‘BudgetWise evidently didn’t think so, but they ruined the place anyway. Go on.’
‘I’ve done a lot of research, and there’s room in the market for a four-star hotel with a superb restaurant.’
‘People round here certainly like good food,’ he agrees.
‘I even found the perfect chef. Well, I didn’t exactly find him. I’ve worked with him before, and I knew he’d be just the right person for a place like this. I crunched all the numbers and they looked pretty good, so I honestly thought it was in the bag.’
‘So how did the owner’s father wreck it?’
‘They’re partners in the business, so she needed his consent to go ahead and he didn’t give it. It’s not his fault – I understand where he’s coming from – but I’m just frustrated that such a promising idea got shot down purely because he doesn’t understand the hotel industry and doesn’t want to learn.’
‘Oh dear. What happens now?’
‘I start job hunting. I put it off while I was working on the Mermaid plan, but I realise now that it was just a stupid fantasy and I need to focus on getting my career back on track.’
‘Will you stay here in Margate?’
‘I don’t think I can. Sorry.’
‘That’s a shame, but I understand. I’ll miss chatting to you, though. You’ve brought a lot of happiness to this old man while you’ve been here.’
‘I’ll miss you too,’ I tell him sincerely.
‘Will you make me a promise?’ he asks, and I notice his eyes are a little moist.
‘You have to tell me what it is first,’ I reply carefully. I’m very fond of Reginald, but I’m not going to commit to anything just because he wants me to.
He leans forward in his chair and takes my hands in his. His grip is surprisingly strong as he fixes his eyes on mine.
‘Live well,’ he says earnestly. ‘Love wholeheartedly. Die happy. Those are the only things that matter. If you do the first two, the third is guaranteed. With the right person beside you, you come to realise that everything else is just white noise. That’s what my Annie and I had, and that’s what I want for you.’
I sigh. ‘You make it sound so easy.’
‘Oh, it’s not. It’s hard and it’s often painful. But you have to focus on what matters. Look at me; I’m a decrepit old man who can barely walk and I think we can both agree that the best years of my life are far behind me. But my heart is full and I’m happy. Why? Because I’ve given and received love in abundance throughout my life. I know you’re focused on your career, Beatrice, but don’t forget to love. Promise me?’
‘I’m not sure I’m very lucky where love is concerned,’ I tell him as he releases his grip.
‘What makes you say that?’
I tell him about my week with Jock and my plan to recruit him as the chef at The Mermaid. If he’s surprised by my involvement with Hotel Dufour, he hides it well and listens sympathetically. When I’m finished, there’s another long silence before he speaks.
‘You could go to be with him in Scotland.’
‘I could,’ I say quietly. ‘But I’m scared. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? He was friendly on the call, but no more.’
‘If he’s prepared to uproot from Glasgow and move down here to be with you, it doesn’t sound like he was just being friendly to me.’
I laugh in spite of myself. ‘When did you get so wise?’
‘Oh, I don’t know that I’m wise, particularly. I’m just old and I’ve seen a lot of things. Shall I tell you something interesting about old age? The older you get, the less you understand the world because it moves on so fast, but the more certain you feel about your opinions. If you don’t believe me, come and have tea in the communal sitting room one afternoon. Sometimes I think actual fighting is going to break out.’
He smiles and, as I look at him, I can feel the love emanating from him, not just for me but for his fellow residents. I just wish I could have given him something back.
‘I’m genuinely sorry about the hotel, Reginald,’ I tell him quietly after a minute or two.
‘Don’t be. It was a nice idea to try to save it, but another of the many lessons I’ve learned over the years is to hold tightly to people but lightly to things. Yes, it would have been lovely to see it restored, but someone is bound to do something with it one day. Land in this country is too expensive just to leave it sitting around doing nothing for ever. Even if they do something absolutely frightful to it, I’ll probably be dead by the time it happens, so I’m not going to waste what little time I have left worrying about it. I’m more worried about you. What does your gut tell you to do about the boyfriend?’
‘My gut agrees with you, that I should go and see him, but my head isn’t so sure.’
‘If you don’t mind me hijacking a phrase from your generation, he sounds like a keeper. What’s the problem?’
‘I’m afraid of making a fool of myself. What if I’ve misread the signals and he’s moved on?’
‘It’s a risk, but what’s the worst that can happen? You go up there and things don’t pan out? Then you dust yourself off and make a new choice. But if you don’t go up there – if you let him go – a part of you will always wonder if you made the wrong decision.’
‘You’re right.’ I sigh. ‘I let him go once, and it was definitely the wrong decision.’
‘Exactly.’ He smiles. ‘And it’s like the old saying goes?—’
‘Reginald,’ I interrupt. ‘If you’re about to come out with some cliché like “it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, please don’t. You were doing so well.’
His frail frame shakes with laughter. ‘That’s exactly what I was going to say. It may be a cliché, but there’s wisdom in it. Think about it, will you?’
‘I will,’ I promise him.
Reginald is right, I realise as I walk back to my flat. I’d be a fool not to go to Scotland and at least talk to Jock some more. Quite apart from the fact that I’d kick myself for letting him go a second time, it’s not like I have anywhere else I urgently need to be. I can afford to leave it another week before contacting the agency.
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing in my bag. I fish it out, hoping that it will be Casterbridge wanting to offer me another job, but the caller ID tells me it’s Abby. It sounds selfish, but I don’t really want to talk to her right now. I’m sure she’s only calling to apologise for the way the Mermaid project turned out, and I don’t want to be dragged back into all of that now that I’m starting to think about my next steps. I stare at it until the voicemail kicks in and then put it back in my bag. By the time I get back to the flat, however, she’s called twice more and I’m unpleasantly surprised to find her waiting for me on the doorstep.
‘Hello, Abby.’
‘Where have you been?’ she accuses, completely failing to pick up on the lack of enthusiasm in my greeting. ‘I’ve been calling you.’
‘Oh, umm, sorry. My phone must be on silent.’
The lie is no sooner out of my mouth than my phone pings loudly in my bag to remind me I have voice messages. Abby raises her eyebrows.
‘Fine,’ I admit. ‘I’ve been avoiding your calls.’
‘What? Why?’ She looks genuinely hurt.
‘Look, Abby,’ I say with a sigh. ‘I know you mean well, but it’s done. I don’t need to pick over the bones of the Mermaid project. It got shot down and, although I’m disappointed, I’ll live. You don’t need to come and check up on me.’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake,’ she says crossly. ‘I’m not checking up on you. Hurry up and let me in. We need to talk.’
I gaze at her. Her eyes are unusually bright and she seems even more revved up than usual. I open the door and guide her into the flat, where she perches on the sofa, drumming her fingers impatiently on her thighs while I put the kettle on for a cup of tea.
‘Are you all right, Abby?’ I ask her carefully. ‘You’re acting a little weird.’
‘I’m fine. I’m merely excited and trying to share some brilliant news with the one person I thought would be as excited as me, but you seem strangely uninterested in hearing it.’
Oh shit. I’ve called this completely wrong and I feel like a terrible person suddenly. This must be to do with the show and James, rather than the hotel. I sit down next to her and wrap her in a hug.
‘Oh, Abby, congratulations!’ I exclaim. ‘When did he pop the question?’
She stares at me like I’ve grown an extra head.
‘You think James proposed?’ she says slowly. ‘We’ve only just started going out. Why would he propose?’
‘Some people just know, don’t they?’ I reply lamely.
‘Let me set you straight. Contrary to popular opinion’ – she gives me the side-eye – ‘I’m not engaged. I’m here about The Mermaid. There are a couple of adjustments I need you to agree to but, assuming you’re happy, we can start work more or less straight away.’
‘But your father clearly said that he wasn’t going to go into the hotel business.’
‘No,’ she corrects me. ‘He said that Atkinson Construction wasn’t going to go into the hotel business. But that doesn’t mean that Atkinson Hotels can’t.’