Chapter Twenty-Four Breathing Space #4
“Because I know that’s not how it works.” Jake shrugged. “So if I’m waiting for some magical day when you wake up and none of that hurts anymore, we might be here a fucking while.”
Harrison stared at him and Jake suddenly wondered if he’d massively overstepped. Wouldn’t be the first time.
“I’m not asking you to have everything sorted. Not even asking you for…” He gestured vaguely between them. “Whatever this is. I just know I like being around you. I fancy the fucking life out of you. And apparently, I care whether you’re alright, which is inconvenient as fuck.”
Harrison’s mouth twitched.
“So maybe that’s enough for now.”
“Enough for what?”
“Dunno.” Jake smiled. “Finding out.” He leaned closer, a whisper away from his lips. “Get to know me first, then you can decide I’m a terrible idea.”
Harrison exhaled warm breath. “I already know you’re a terrible idea.”
“There you go, then. Halfway there.” Jake drew back. “And if you wanna tell me to fuck off at some point, you can do that too.”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever tell you to fuck off.”
“Everyone does eventually. But you can form your own opinion if you like.”
Harrison then rubbed a hand across his forehead. “Alright.”
Jake waited.
“I will. I’ll get to know you.” Harrison met his gaze. “Outside crime scenes and interview rooms. Outside of…” He glanced between them, and the faintest colour touched his cheeks. “Whatever we keep doing when we’re alone together.”
Jake grinned. “Kissing?”
“Among other things.”
“Quite like the other things.”
“Yes. I gathered.” Harrison shook his head, but he smiled. “Let’s get to know each other before we try to make this into something neither of us knows how to handle yet.”
Jake considered him for a second. “Like dating?”
Harrison blinked.
Jake laughed. “Christ, your face.”
“I wasn’t expecting terminology quite so quickly.”
“Alright. No terminology.” Jake held out his hand. “We’ll just… see.”
Harrison looked down at his hand but didn’t take. “Though, there is something else preventing this from being quite as easy as you’re making it.”
“Course there is.”
“This isn’t complicated only because of Chris. I’m asking for your sister’s case to be reopened. If anyone at the station realises there’s something between us…” He shook his head. “It could jeopardise that. At the very least, it would raise questions about my objectivity.”
Jake understood that part. Didn’t particularly like it, but understood it. “So nobody finds out.”
Harrison’s brow furrowed. “Jake—”
“What? We don’t even know what this is yet, remember? Can’t tell people summat we ain’t worked out ourselves.” Jake wiggled his fingers between them. “Thought we were seeing.”
Harrison stared at his hand for another second.
Then he took it.
Except he didn’t shake it.
He closed his fingers firmly around Jake’s and pulled. Jake barely had time to register the movement before Harrison’s other hand caught the side of his neck and his mouth was on Jake’s again.
Oh.
Right.
Apparently, they were seeing.
Jake let him.
More than let him. He kissed Harrison back, but he didn’t take over this time. Didn’t push for deeper or harder or more. Harrison had started this one, so Jake let him set the rhythm. Let him decide how long it lasted.
And Harrison took his time.
Not much of it. Just enough for the kiss to become something more than goodbye. Something Harrison had chosen because he wanted it, with nobody pushing him there.
When he finally drew back, Harrison looked at him for a moment, breathing a little harder than before.
Jake licked his lips. “That part, I’m definitely in favour of seeing more of.”
“Good to know.” Harrison let go and Jake immediately missed the contact, which was fucking ridiculous. He then watched him as he moved towards the door, but paused when he reached it, resting one hand on the frame as he glanced back at Jake. “See you around, Jake Whitton.”
Jake gave him a crooked smile. “Not if I see you first, Detective Inspector Black.”
Harrison shook his head, but there was a smile there as he stepped outside.
Then he was gone.
And Jake listened to his footsteps cross the metal balcony, heard the first clang of his shoes against the stairs, then another, then another, until the sound disappeared altogether.
He wanted to open the door.
Wanted to call him back.
Wanted another kiss, another five minutes, another fucking something.
But he rested his forehead on the closed door and breathed instead.
Harrison hadn’t promised him anything.
No relationship. No future. Not even a bloody date. Just an admission that there was something between them and an agreement not to run away from it before they’d worked out what it was.
For now, Jake could live with that.
He knew how to wait.
Christ, he’d built half his life around waiting.
Waiting for news. Answers. Someone to finally tell him what had happened to his big sister. Waiting when he had no fucking idea whether there was anything left at the other end of it.
This felt different.
For the first time in a very long while, Jake was waiting for a future he might actually believe in.
And fuck, that felt a lot like hope.