Chapter 23
23
SCOTT
There was something cozy about being in an Irish pub. It reminded me of home, with its wooden interior, warmth, and touches of green. Rock music played in the background. The atmosphere was different than American bars, and it was more like the pubs we had back in Australia. It made sense, though, considering a lot of Aussies were descended from the British and Irish.
To my surprise, we were the only ones here, though. Other than Killough, Fionn, Conall, and the bodyguards who surrounded their bosses from where they sat at tables against the walls, there was only me and Deer.
The moment Deer realized this, he froze. “Shit.” He was wearing his diamond necklace again and he raised a hand to touch it, seeking comfort. His fingers trembled.
I laid a gentle hand on his lower back. “It’s fine. I’m here, Fawn. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.”
His gaze sought out mine, and when he caught my stare, he took a deep breath and nodded. His trust in me was astounding and made me feel as if I was ten feet tall.
Two bodyguards came toward us, to make sure we had no weapons, but Killough spoke before they reached us.
“No. Leave them.” His voice echoed around the empty pub, the sound sharp and commanding. It was a tone I was used to, but the tension in Deer’s body grew and his breathing was choppy from nerves. My sweet, anxious fawn.
The guards inclined their heads and returned to their seats.
Killough, Fionn, and Conall sat at a table in the center of the room, all facing the door. Killough and Fionn both had similar serious expressions on their faces, while Conall’s grin brightened the space. The moment we reached them, he jumped to his feet and came around to our side.
He held out his hand to Deer. “You must be Diarmuid. I’m Conall, Sloan’s....” He paused and glanced at Killough, eyebrows furrowed, and Killough gave him a short, tight nod. “I’m Sloan’s fiancé. We’re keeping it on the down-low right now.”
“Oh.” Deer’s eyes widened and he shook the hand Conall had out toward him, cheeks flushing. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Conall dipped his head slightly to the right as he listened to Deer, like he was having trouble hearing, even though the bar was mostly quiet. “Come and sit with us.” He gestured toward the chairs as he walked back to his own, and we followed, taking our seats in front of Killough and Fionn.
“Hey, Deer.” Fionn straightened and smiled, soft and so unlike the man I’d come to know that I was caught by surprise. This was the kind of expression I expected from Deer, not the coldhearted Fionn. Then again, I’d seen him grow over the last year. He’d had the unpleasant task of taking over as boss in the Killough Company for a short time and it’d matured him.
Deer offered him a small smile. “Hi, Fionn.”
“Thank you for agreeing to meet with us.” Fionn waved his hand toward the bar, and I looked up, noticing a man who hadn’t been there before. He had a green crew cut and black plugs in his ears. His clothing was eccentric, with a white-and-green striped shirt. A vee plunged the collar low enough to nearly see his nipples, and multiple necklaces of different lengths dangled around his throat. He was obviously the bartender because he began messing around with alcohol, yanking out glasses and a jug that he filled with beer.
“Yeah, well, we should hear each other out,” Deer said, bringing my attention back to the men sitting at this table.
“You’re right, and I’ve always wanted to have a connection with you and Bell.”
Deer frowned and laid his hand to rest on the wooden table. His fingers twitched. “Then, why haven’t you called us? The last time I remember talking to you was right before my twelfth birthday.”
Fionn exhaled loudly. “Mom wouldn’t let me talk to you. She kept saying you were busy, but then I thought that you didn’t want to talk to me, so I never tried to reach out to you in other ways. I regret not fighting harder to have a relationship with you.”
The sadness that curved Deer’s mouth made my heart ache. “That sounds like her. She always wanted things her way.”
The bartender interrupted, laying a tray with a jug of beer and five glasses in the center of the table. He bowed his head toward Killough and left again, but not before I caught sight of his very tight gray jeans that melded with long legs.
“Tell me about your life with her. Scott said you never had a good relationship?” Killough asked. He leaned back in his chair and tapped the table, his presence dominating, but there was also something gentler about him right now. I couldn’t put my finger on it. He stared at Deer with empathy in his eyes that almost looked wrong.
“Not really. She loves Bell, but she spoils him a lot, too. Though, she always comes first, even over him.” Deer took one of the glasses and filled it from the jug. He’d probably need a stiff drink after this conversation.
“How much of the money I gave her went to you and Bell?” Killough clenched his jaw.
Deer paused, the glass halfway to his mouth. “Um, when I was younger, I didn’t really know you were giving her money?” He took a deep swallow of the beer, winced, and then set down the glass again. “I never got any from her. She did attempt to make sure we had the basics, but I went to work when I was thirteen. I always socked the money away because there would be times when she wouldn’t have cash to give me and Bell lunch money, or we’d need something for school and it would be gone. Sometimes she would turn my room upside down to find my stash. She would always blow through her money right away, so it would be a family ski trip and the spa for her one week and almost nothing in the fridge for three weeks after that.”
“What?” Killough’s voice went dangerously low, and even Conall shifted uncomfortably. “I gave your mother twenty grand a month for all your needs, including medical and schooling. More recently, Fionn was giving her an extra five a month until we both cut her off, and now you’re telling me she spent none of it on you?”
Deer’s face drained of color and his eyes widened. “I.... No? She didn’t. I mean, if she wanted to do something and wanted to take us, yes, but mostly not.”
“What about college?” Fionn asked, desperate as he leaned forward, like he was searching for a reason, even though it was obvious—his mother was selfish and cunning.
Deer cupped his hands around his glass, but I didn’t miss the way it shook. “She gave me some money to start with, not a lot but enough. It’s the kindest thing she’s done for me. I moved to the city to get away from her for a while. I was fine for a few years, living in a shitty apartment and eating cheap food. Then, she called and said you’d cut her off and she needed my help to get money. She wanted me to quit college and go to work, but I refused. I’m in a Pharm D program, and you can’t easily just pick that back up if you stop.” His cheeks flushed and he ducked his head. “I have a friend who finds sugar daddies. So, I asked her about it, and I decided to do the same thing. That’s when I ran into Scott in December.”
Killough’s entire demeanor changed to the kind of dangerous that made me uncomfortable. It was as though gray clouds had formed around him and every muscle in his body went tight. His eyes darkened and flashed. “It’s time I pay your mother a visit.”
“You won’t kill her, will you?” Deer asked in a lowered voice. He leaned forward, elbows on the table. “She’s not a good person, but she’s still our mom.”
“I agree,” Fionn murmured.
Killough turned his narrowed stare on Fionn. “She’s threatened you since you stopped giving her money. Why shouldn’t I show her what a real threat is?”
“Deer’s right. She’s our mother. She still gave birth to us.” He sighed and fell back in his chair. His gaze slid to Deer and he smiled sadly. “At least I didn’t live with her. You had to deal with her every day.”
Deer shrugged. “It was all I knew. She and Bell are the only family I had.”
“Not anymore.” Killough tapped the table. “You have me and Fionn now. I’ll explain what happened the other day.”
Deer stayed silent, lifting his glass to take another sip. I didn’t know what beer we’d been given, but I suspected he would’ve drunk it even if it tasted like shit. I couldn’t blame him. I dragged my chair closer to him and curled my arm around his waist, reminding him I was here, and he sent me a tiny smile of appreciation. I’d promised Deer I would stay silent during the entire exchange, despite the opinions I might have. In the end, I was here for support.
Killough cleared his throat. “When I realized who you were, I thought your objective was to threaten Fionn. I assumed you were sent by your mother, and I reacted in a way I’ve taught Fionn to never act. In anger. And this is why I always say not to lose your head. It’s easy to jump to the wrong conclusions and show a weak hand.” He glanced at Fionn, as if he was proving some sort of point.
“I get it. Mom probably would’ve done those things if she knew I was here.” Deer pursed his lips.
“She doesn’t know you’re in New York?” I asked, breaking my agreement of silence due to shock.
He snorted. “No. I probably told her to begin with, but it was in one ear and out the other. I sent her money, so maybe she knows now. I’m not sure.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Fionn scrubbed his hands over his face. “She pisses me off.”
Killough made a sound of agreement. “Diarmuid, you are family, and I want to extend my hand to you to join us in the Company.”
I brushed my fingers down his back soothingly. This was what he’d wanted, right? I wasn’t sure I liked the idea of him working in the mob. Deer was too soft to be a mobster. There was an innocence about him that I never wanted him to lose, and if he joined the Company, it would disappear with every life he took. Some men were suited for the life—such as Ryan and Fionn—but Deer wasn’t.
Deer smiled. “That’s what I’ve always wanted, you know? To be part of the family business.”
Killough smirked.
Deer shook his head. “But I don’t want that anymore, Uncle Sloan.”
Killough’s warm expression dropped from his face.
“The truth is, I don’t think I’d ever enjoy being part of criminal activities. I’m not built that way.” He traced the rim of his glass with his thumb. “But I do want to be part of your life. I want my brother and my uncle in my life. And my loyalty lies with you. Mom’s never cared about me.”
Fionn hummed. “There’s more to the Killough Company than that. If you’re doing a Pharm D, there are always opportunities at EK Memorial. We’ll talk more about it later. You don’t have to make decisions like that today.”
The bartender walked back toward us, two large platters in his hands. He set them down on the table, and my stomach growled in appreciation at the spread. Hot chips with different kinds of sauces filled one platter while egg rolls, mashed potato pancakes, sausage rolls, and beer-battered fish were spread across the other.
“Thanks, mate,” I said to the bartender.
He grinned in return. “Ye’re welcome, mate.” His thick Irish accent had me smiling wider.
“You’re in your element, aren’t you?” Deer teased, and I laughed.
“What can I say, sweetheart? We have a lot of Irish roots in Australia. Feels like home.” I plopped a kiss on his cheek and grabbed a sausage roll, passing it to him. “Get something into that cute little belly of yours.”
Killough raised his dark eyebrows at me, and I winked at him.
“I take care of him,” I said.
“I would hope so,” he drawled in response.
Deer chuckled and took a bite, humming in appreciation. “This is good.”
“So, what are your plans, Deer?” Fionn snatched one of the chips, chewing on the end of it carefully. I held in a snort. He always acted so elegant , like he was on a reality show that filmed all the time rather than in an Irish pub where it was all about enjoying the earthier pleasures in life. The thing I loved the most about pubs was that there was usually no dress code, and after a hard day’s work, going to the pub while still dirty wasn’t frowned upon. You hung out with your mates and had a good laugh.
“Finish my Pharm D program, then reassess. Maybe take you up on the offer to work at the EK Memorial. That’d be nice, you know? In memory of Dad.” Deer took another chug of his beer. His gaze drifted to me. “I want to enjoy life with Scott. Take one day at a time.”
I grinned and took his glass when he offered it to me. I sipped the beer, wincing at the terrible taste. “Be a stay-at-home spouse?”
He rolled his eyes. “No.”
I laughed.
“As long as you’re happy with whatever you choose.” Fionn sent me a sharp glance, his message very clear. If I hurt Deer, Fionn would deal with me. I didn’t want to piss off the Killoughs in that way.
“I am and I will be.” Deer cocked his head. “What about you, Fionn? Are you happy?”
Fionn’s eyes widened a fraction. “Me?”
“Yeah. Other than Mom, of course.” He took another sausage roll, and I watched him eating the puff pastry with the kind of delicacy that made me wonder if it was just a Killough trait rather than something taught. Deer had a natural grace about him.
Fionn’s entire body relaxed. “Yes, I am. I’m married.” He raised his left hand and showed us the simple gold band on his wedding finger. “His name is Daire. He’s Uncle Sloan’s second-in-command.”
“Oh. I didn’t know you were ....”
“Gay?” Fionn chuckled. “Yes, I am.”
Deer’s eyebrows shot upward at the news and he looked like you could’ve knocked him over with a feather.
Fionn laughed and the sound suited him.
Conall snorted while Killough’s smirk returned.
“He’s not here today because he’s away on business.” Fionn stroked the gold band and his expression softened to match his posture. “But he’ll be home in a few days. I’d love for you to meet him.”
“I’d like that.” Deer flashed him a white-toothed smile.
“You’re welcome at our home any time, Diarmuid,” Killough said. “You’re a Killough and Eoin’s son.”
Deer chewed on his bottom lip. “Thank you, Uncle Sloan. Can you.... Can you call me Deer? I’ve never really gone by Diarmuid.”
Killough raised one eyebrow. “Yes, if that’s what you want.”
Another rock song came on the speakers and the notes of the song caught my attention. I pumped my arm. “Fuck yes. It’s Akka Dakka.”
Deer grinned, amused. “What?”
“Akka Dakka!” I laid a hand on my chest, offended. “AC/DC. They’re Aussie, you know.”
“No, they’re not. Are they?” Conall stared at me with wide eyes and a cocked head.
“They most definitely are.” I glanced around the table at all the confused looks. “Am I surrounded by uncivilized animals? What is wrong with you lot?”
Deer groaned and leaned his cheek on my shoulder. He caressed my arm. “We all need an Aussie in our life to educate us. How lucky we have you now.”
I shook my head. “Yous are all a lost cause.”
“You. Not yous,” Killough drawled.
I glared. “ Yous .”
“Okay, kids. Put them back in your pants. No measuring needed. Enough.” Conall laughed and nudged Killough gently in the arm.
“I’d win if there was a ruler around,” I mumbled, ignoring the jab of Deer’s elbow in my stomach.
Fionn poured a beer into an empty glass and took a sip, wincing and making a face. “I’d like to see you on a regular basis, Deer. Get to know you. It’s strange, you’re my brother but I don’t know anything about you.”
“I know,” Deer whispered, smiling sadly. “I wish I’d reached out sooner. I just thought I was never good enough for you, and that’s why you stopped contacting me.”
“That isn’t true.” Fionn sighed. “But we can fix this. Maybe start with seeing each other every other week? Uncle Sloan could join us if he isn’t busy. I stay in the city more often now because I spend nights in Manhattan. Me and my husband have a penthouse there.”
“You’d be close to us. I live in Sky High Tower,” I said.
Fionn made a sound of acknowledgement. “I know. I profile the people we work with. I know a lot about you, Mr. Cairns.”
At least he said my last name right. As right as an American could, that is.
“Every so often, Scott and I invite friends for dinner. Ryan comes. Maybe you and Daire could, too?” Deer’s gaze slid to Killough, and there was a moment where a touch of vulnerability flashed in his eyes, as though he was too scared to ask Killough. But whatever nervousness resided beneath was conquered because he spoke again. “And you and Conall, too, Uncle Sloan.”
Killough’s mouth curved and it wasn’t a smirk. No, it was a fucking smile. The sight sent my brain into overdrive. Killough smiled? What?
“Thank you for the invite. We would love to join you.” Killough glanced toward Conall, who leaned into him with a grin. It was almost as though they were communicating telepathically because Killough cleared his throat and looked back at Deer. “My pet—Conall—and I are getting married in the spring. Fionn is my best man. I would like it if you were one of my groomsmen. You’re family and I’d appreciate you standing beside your brother during that important moment.”
They’re engaged? I’d somehow managed to forget Conall had said as much earlier. It was quite a shock.
Deer flushed, but it wasn’t in embarrassment. His entire being lit up and it was nice to see on him. This was a happy Deer, my sweet fawn, who finally found a beginning point with a family he’d always wanted.
“Yes,” he whispered, rather desperately. This was what he craved the entire time, wasn’t it? To be included and treated as an equal by his relatives. “I would love that.”
“Good,” Killough said, his voice a lot softer than before.
I didn’t know what the future held for them, but it was a bloody good start.
I wrapped my arm around Deer’s shoulders and dragged him in for a light kiss. “I’m happy for you, Fawn,” I murmured into his ear so the others couldn’t hear.
“Me too,” he whispered back.
My heart soared. A happy Deer was a happy me.