Chapter 2
"I can't believe he did this five days before we're supposed to leave." I sniffle, transferring the phone to my other hand.
"Are you kidding?" Francesca sounds bubbly and happy. Very happy. Maybe she didn't hear me?
"Do you hear what I said? Corey broke up with me."
"I heard you loud and clear. Listen, Bailey. King Scum Bucket did you a favor."
I get that she's excited about the trip and her wedding, but I'd expect her to scrape up an ounce of compassion for me. I am her best friend.
"I'm getting married next week, and you're going to be there with me, by my side. At least he had the decency to break up with you now instead of making you miserable the whole time you were away, only to do it when you come home."
"I'm sorry if I don't see it that way."
"All I mean is now you can let your hair down and have a good time. Guilt-free!"
"Good time? Corey pretty much ensured I'll be miserable for the entire trip."
"If you're miserable, that's on you. Not Corey. And sure as shit not on me. We’re going to have a great time!"
"C'mon, Fran, I'm not up for that."
"Well, get up for it. Or the only one you'll be letting down is me. You're my best friend and my maid of honor. It's your job to make sure we live up my last single nights."
"Maybe I shouldn't even go. I don't want to bring you down, and right now, I'm pretty sure that's what I'll be doing."
"Oh no you don't. You're not going to let that dip-shit stop you from standing next to me on the most important day of my life. You're coming. Even if I have to drag you by the hair, you’re not bailing on me. Because guys come and go. You and I, we’re forever."
*
B efore I leave, I pack all of Corey's shit, all our pictures together, everything that reminds me of him, in a cardboard box and stick it in a corner of the living room. I should dump it in front of his door, but I don't want to risk seeing something I’m not ready to.
Maybe I'll toss the box in the trash. I consider it, but I can’t bring myself to pull the trigger and execute. Yet. Once I toss it, that signifies there's no going back. I'm not sure if I'm at the point where I can say definitively that I won't take him back when he comes begging for another chance.
I squeeze my eyes closed tight. I shouldn't be planning on him coming back, or else I'll never move on. He wants his freedom; he's got it.
*
T hanks to Corey's late cancellation, the window seat to my left is empty. I consider moving over, but I never liked the window seat on a plane. It makes me nervous to look outside and see nothing but clouds and sky.
The large man to my right is popping out of his seat. His arm rests on the divider between us and overflows over onto my side. I shift my weight toward the empty seat, fighting the sadness that comes from knowing who is supposed to be sitting there. The strange man's pudgy arm drops from the armrest onto my thigh.
With a loud huff, I stand and switch to the empty seat. The man shoots me a dirty look. I know I'm coming across like a total bitch, but I really don't care. It's not that I have anything against overweight people. I mean, I'm no waif—a fact Corey used almost daily to convince me to go with a salad for dinner and avoid dessert.
I feel bad. The poor guy with the unfortunate luck to be seated next to me probably thinks I'm a snob. I don't mean to be. I really don't care how the man looks. That's not why I moved. I just don't want to be touched.
Once the seatbelt light turns off, Francesca makes her way over to me. She squeezes past the man in the aisle seat and drops down next to me. Linking her arm through mine, she leans in, invading my personal space. At first, I think she's trying to avoid the overweight man in the connecting seat, but once she starts speaking, I know that's not what's motivating her to get all touchy-feely.
"Do you have any idea how sweet and beautiful you are?" She lays her head on my shoulder.
"What?"
"You really are, Bailey. You’re the sweetest person I know. Always looking out for the people around you. Making sure everyone is happy. You deserve happiness, too."
I'm not sure why I'm getting this lecture, but she continues.
"As much as you don't want to hear this, Corey wasn't the one for you. He didn't make you happy."
Great! She waits until I'm trapped tens of thousands of miles in the air and have absolutely nowhere to escape to have this conversation.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"I know. But I don't want to see you let this thing with him eat away at you and make you doubt yourself. He's a jackass, and he doesn't deserve you."
"This thing? You mean the breakup? The fact that he dumped me? The fact that the man I love doesn't want to be with me anymore? Is that the thing you're referring to?"
"Yes."
"Well, I wasn't thinking about him, or this thing, until you brought it up."
"Bailey."
The tone of her voice tells me she knows I'm lying. Knowing she knows is good enough. I don't have to admit it. And I don't have to continue with this unwelcome reminder of how sucky my life is right now.
"Look, I know you're getting married, and you're happy. I'm happy for you; I really, truly am. But that doesn't mean my life stops. That everything that touches me, hurts me, magically evaporates."
"I know, Bailey. I get it. It's okay to hurt. Just don't let it take over your life. And don't change who you are inside or out for him."
"I'm not. I never did. Why would you even say that?"
"I was there for a lot of it. I know how he tried to control what you did and how you looked. It's only been a few days, and already I can see that you’ve lost weight. I hope you're not starving yourself to make him happy. That you're not hoping he'll see what you think is the new and improved you and want to get back together."
"I'm not. I don't," I lie. "I just don't much feel like eating. Fran, I know you're worried. I'll be fine. I just need time."
Even though she can't see it because her head is on my shoulder, I offer her a smile. At least a hint of a smile.
"You know," her tone turns playful. "A couple of Sam's friends are on the plane. Two of them already asked about you."
"Francesca."
"I know. I know," she sounds deflated. "It's too soon. You're not ready. That's what I told them. They're really nice guys, not to mention incredibly hawt. You owe it to yourself to live it up and have some fun."
"Maybe some other time."
"If you change your mind, they'd love to meet you."
"It's not going to happen."
She nods. "Okay. I should get back to my fiancé." She holds out her hand with the engagement ring and admires the sparkling diamonds.
"Tell Prince Charming I said hi."
"Will do.”
“And Bailey?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t rule out a one-night stand.”
Before I can respond, Francesca gives me a loud, cheery kiss on the cheek and squeezes out of the aisle the same way she came in. I take a long breath and stare at the clouds. I wonder how many times we're going to have this conversation over the next week. Not wanting to live in reality, I plug in my earbuds and pull out a book. This way, I can live someone else's life until we land.