Chapter 39
39
‘See, this is more like how I saw this week ending,’ Lou says with a sigh.
‘Boys will be boys,’ Nita adds. ‘Even when you think they’re great, or getting better, they remind you that they’re not. They’re shit.’
‘And this is why I’m single,’ Willow adds. ‘Because they will always let you down.’
‘I’m all the more determined to marry Ellis tomorrow without a hitch now,’ Lou says with a sigh. ‘I’m starting to wonder how I managed to find such a great one.’
‘You’re so lucky,’ I tell her with a smile.
‘And you’re quiet,’ she replies. ‘Suspiciously quiet.’
We’re all sitting by the pool – our last day not only here, but together too – while the boys are all at Nolan’s wedding. It’s so quiet without them, and things really took a turn yesterday (and we avoided them for the rest of the day), and now there’s nothing but hostility and resentment between us all again.
‘I’m fine,’ I insist.
‘Obviously that’s a lie,’ Lou points out. ‘I can hear it in your voice.’
‘Is it about one of the boys?’ Nita asks, clearly already knowing the answer. ‘One in particular, maybe…?’
‘It’s not worth talking about,’ I insist. ‘I thought I liked one of them. Really liked one of them. But they’re all as bad as each other, so…’
More than the competition, which is a part of it, Travis hasn’t mentioned the two of us hooking up. Then again, neither have I.
‘Forget the competition for a minute,’ Nita says. ‘And tell us how you feel about him.’
‘I think he’s smart, he’s funny, he’s kind and considerate. Absolutely, unrealistically gorgeous. Deep, and honest, and I thought we’d been through similar break-ups, that we were both in a bad spot, that maybe we could help each other find our way out the other side. And even if he’s a dick head, like the others, stupid me can’t help but think about him at Nolan’s wedding, watching his friend get married, knowing his ex-plus-one’s seat will be empty, reminding him of it all, and my heart still goes out to him.’
I sigh heavily. Am I an idiot? Is he an idiot? Are we both fucking idiots?
‘I know we’ve all been taking this competition a little too seriously,’ Nita points out.
‘We all have,’ Lou adds. ‘Even if the boys have just gone way, way further with it.’
‘I think we can all tell how much you like Travis, and that it might be beyond holiday romance territory,’ Nita continues. ‘And, look, we’re all furious about the competition, and it’s shit that they cheated, and won, and… and really, none of it matters, when you compare it to the rest of your life.’
I chew my lip, deep in thought.
‘What we’re saying is, don’t let a silly game mess up what could be a great relationship,’ Lou chimes in. ‘It’s been a long time since I saw you this happy, and this into someone.’
‘Since Dean,’ I say with a sigh.
‘Let’s be real, it was probably not with Dean, he never seemed all that great, generally, or for you,’ Nita says, cutting the shit.
‘Nita!’ Lou squeaks.
‘Come on, we all thought it, but Travis is different,’ Nita says. ‘He’s a good lad – the best of that lot – and you can just tell he really likes you too.’
‘Shit,’ I say softly. ‘What do I do?’
‘You said he’s got a place going for a plus-one at the wedding?’ Lou checks. I nod. ‘Then go there, turn up for him, support him. And, hey, if it all goes well, there’s a place for him at my wedding too.’
‘You guys are amazing, you know that?’ I tell them, pulling myself to my feet.
‘Go, get ready, we’ll book your taxi,’ Lou tells me. ‘If you’re fast, you might even make the ceremony.’
Oh my God, am I actually doing this? Making a mad dash to a wedding venue to tell a man that I like him? Who even does that? I certainly don’t and yet here I am, throwing on a dress, running a brush through my hair, putting on lipstick…
The girls are right though. I do really like him, a lot, and the competition is just a silly game, but this is real life.
It’s time to go for what I want, instead of being sad and scared all the time.
Here goes nothing…