Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-Two
The door shut with a thud, making her jump. She looked around the apartment. It was tidy—unlike the last time she’d been by. A new couch sat in the middle of the room. Two matching chairs sat like soldiers bracketing it. The coffee table had been replaced.
It looked…like a home now. “I see you settled in finally,” she said setting the bag down on the counter.
“Yeah we—the brothers, decided to toss out the old beat-up furniture and get new.”
So it wasn’t him per se—still, it looked nice. “Well, it’s nice.”
She busied herself taking out the containers and setting them aside. She found the plates and silverware right where they’d always been. Brandi glanced over once Tool hadn’t moved. He just leaned against the door watching her.
“How’ve you been?”
Tool raised an eyebrow at her. How had he been? That was the damn question she wanted to ask him. Fuck it. he thought. He sucked at talking. Sucked at trying to make sense of his feelings for her. She was his and that was the bottom line. Anything else they’d figure out.
Shoving off the door his feet ate up the space between them. He meant to be gentle. It went out the window as soon as his hand touched her arm. “You wanted to talk?” he snapped. “Here’s what I have to say.”
He pulled her into him, making her go up on her toes so his mouth could crush against hers—so his lips and tongue could taste hers. Tool tightened his arms around her.
“You’re mine, damn it, and I’m fucking tired of us running,” he said when he finally broke the kiss.
“You said you wanted me—any way I came. It’s time you found out what that means, Brandi.”
He stared into her eyes watching—waiting. Her chest rising and falling as her lips parted. “No holding back.”
Tool let her down and led her to the sofa. “Sit.”
She wanted to tell him no, only because he was being arrogant, bossy. But she had said no holding back. “I’m sitting.”
He looked down at her, crossed the room, and rested his ass on a window ledge. Space between them was a good thing.
“Why are you all the way over there?”
He lifted his eyes to her saw the way she sat back a little further into the leather sofa. This was him. All. Of. Him. No hiding behind a well-built facade. She wanted to know him—all of him—so be it.
“If I step back over there, I’ll strip you bare and fuck you into submission.” His words were all heat. He’d only given her one version of himself.
Tool saw her eyes become hooded. Could see the pulse in her throat kick up. His words hit a nerve.
“Ask me anything. and I’ll tell you.”
“But this conversation—what happens here…” He twirled his finger around. “Stays here. Do you understand me.”
Brandi swallowed the lump in her throat. All she could do was nod her head. Licking her lips, she let out a breath. “Why do you hold back with me? With everything that has to do with me?”
Everyone had their thing—things that might not be talked about openly.
He knew his brothers all had control issues.
All of them were over the top protective of what was theirs.
A few of them—like—him needed more. Submission.
Gypsy, Cruise, and Bishop, all lived in the same world as him.
Gypsy found what he needed with Quinn. Cruise and Bishop like him, still belonged to Locke and Key. A private club. A sex club.
Tool had hidden that from her. Why? Because she’d been through so much while Misha owned her. He didn’t want her to feel owned again. He didn’t want a slave. He wanted a partner who would give him what he needed—wanted. And in return, he’d do the same.
“You push buttons, Brandi. Buttons that open parts of me I closed a long time ago.”
Should she say sorry? “Help me to understand.”
Fuck it! “You make me want things I shouldn’t want,” he said quickly, wanting to get it out in the open. His words hung in the air—drifting between them.
“So, what? You like kinky—rough sex? That’s what you’re afraid to share with me?”
“No. I like control. I want...” He sighed. “Damn explaining this is harder than I thought.”
Brandi got up, walked across the room, and stood in front of him. “Do you want me to be submissive?” she asked, then knelt at his feet. Bowed her head and waited for Tool to decide if she was what he wanted.
Tool closed his eyes His cock twitched as Brandi knelt in front of him. Swallowing, he reached for her head, tangled his fingers in her hair and tugged her head back.
“If we do this Brandi, all of it—there’s no going back. There’s no changing our minds. I’ll claim you inside and out. Not one person—brother—no one will doubt who you belong to.”
He’d fucked up once before and swore he’d never subject another woman to his sexual appetite. His demands. Letting go of her hair, Tool crouched in front of her. “Stand up.”
Brandi did as he asked with out help. He stood with her, staring down into her face.
“Years ago, I loved a girl—loved her so much I ruined her. She found out what I liked, accepted it, dove into the life with me. Mentally, she couldn’t handle it.
Emotionally she lost herself. When I realized the damage being in the lifestyle was doing to her—all because she wanted to please me—I ended things. ”
Tool pulled her in so he could hold on to something tangible. He felt her head rest between his collar and jaw. He’d been lost for years—searching until she walked into that hospital. He’d stayed away hoping his desires would fade.
“What happened to her?”
“She killed herself. She left a note for her family and a video I had no idea she had. It was of things we did—that I did, to her. All consensual Still the guilt rested on my shoulders, and I swore I’d never subject another woman to my cravings.”
Brandi ran a hand through his hair. “That wasn’t your fault, Tool. She should have spoken up—told you what didn’t work for her. Yes, as her Dom, you should have recognized her distress. But she should have been open with you. Isn’t that what a D/s relationship is about?”
Tool leaned back and stared at Brandi—caught off guard by her statement and question. “How do you know about D/s relationships?”
“I read. Watch movies.”
Dear lord, she watched a movie and read a book. Standing up, he scrubbed a hand down his face. “I used to go to Locke and Key. It’s a private sex club.”
“Are you still a member?”
“Yes.”
“Will you take me?”
Tool leaned back enough to look her in the face. “You’d want to go—with me—to a sex club?”
Brandi nodded her head. “I promise to tell you what I do and don’t like.”
“I’ll think about it. Now, I’ve told you why I’ve hesitated in pulling the trigger. What I want to know now is why you keep running away.”
Brandi glanced to the side, embarrassed, “I’m the coward in this relationship.”
“Excuse me?”
“I ran when I should have stayed. I hide when I should have been seen. Hell, I told myself at every chance that I didn’t deserve you and wrapped it in the idea it was you who was ignoring me—using me.”
She moved out of his reach paced the floor. “I’m scared of you breaking my heart, but honestly, I broke it a long time ago. I did it all by myself.”
“Well, aren’t we a pair?” He chuckled.
Brandi glanced at him sheepishly. “I don’t wanna hide anymore. I’m not asking you to love me, Tool, although I love you. I’m asking you to want me. All of me, and let me want all of you.”
She loved him. Sauntering across the room, he stopped in front of her. “Did you just say you loved me?”
She’d said it and meant it. “Yes.”
“I love you too.” His fingers toyed with the hem of her shirt. She didn’t stop him. When he raised an eyebrow at her, Brandi lifted her arms and sighed as he pulled the shirt up and off.