Chapter 9 #2
“You’ve had a lot of pain medication, and your body went into temporary shock.
The amnesia is normal,” he said, then lifted his hand when my mom sucked in a breath to yell at him again.
“You seem more cognizant now. You’ve been in and out for about sixteen hours.
We’re prepping you for surgery in the morning.
You’re getting a pin in your tibia and repairing the talofibular ligament, which is in your ankle. ”
I wrinkled my nose. I’d taken anatomy my sophomore year and hated every second of it. “I can’t move my leg.”
“You have a pretty bad break right now,” he said. “And we’re trying to stabilize your leg so you’ll make a full recovery.”
My heart slipped into my throat and threatened to choke me. “I’m…I have to start camp soon.”
“Your mom explained everything to me,” he said, probably more patiently than most doctors would have been.
“I have absolute faith you’re going to make a full recovery, okay?
We’ve spoken to your team physician and your coach and assured them that if you take the rest of the semester off from your collegiate team and are very faithful in your PT, you’ll be fine for camp this summer. ”
The relief was so profound I almost felt like throwing up. Then the fear hit me again because while the doctor was confident, he couldn’t assure me I would be fine. Just over a month ago, I’d lost my virginity to a man whose entire career had been derailed by an accident just like mine.
Or, well, sort of like mine.
I actually had no idea what happened to me.
“How did I get hurt?”
“I will be calling the city,” my mom started.
I squeezed her hand and looked at the doctor, who sighed. “From the report, it seems you narrowly avoided getting hit by the trolley, but unfortunately, a car was coming through the area above the speed limit and wasn’t able to stop in time.”
That’s right. I sort of remembered that. I had been getting food for me and Colton. Oh no. I hope he hadn’t gone hungry because of me.
“Your friends came by earlier,” my mom said as the doctor began to poke at my toes. “I told them you could see them later when I take you back to the house for your things.”
I blinked at her. “My…things?”
“You can’t stay there, beta,” she said, petting my hair again. “The stairs.”
Right. The stairs. And I wouldn’t be caught dead sleeping on any of the couches. I didn’t even sit on them when I was there. God only knew what sort of bacteria or infections they were carrying. But that didn’t answer any of my questions.
“What am I supposed to do? I can’t go home with you. I have finals. I have training camp. I can’t just leave before I graduate!”
“Breathe,” she said to me. She gave the doctor a look, and he quickly let himself out before she pulled up a chair and sat down, switching to Urdu. “Your father and I talked it over, and I’m going to get an apartment. Your auntie is coming to stay with me to help take care of you too.”
I felt the blood drain from my face. I liked some of my aunties. “Which one?”
“Hadiya.”
My mom’s sister. I breathed a little easier.
My mom had found herself a community after they moved to Toronto, and while I was happy for her—and I supposed I appreciated the immersion in the diaspora culture—the uncles and the aunties could be…
a lot. They were in everyone’s business, and half their advice was basically telling my parents to ignore all the things I needed to function in the world as autistic and teach me to mask.
Which I hated.
Luckily, my mom was too smart to listen, even if she didn’t really understand why I was the way I was.
But I wasn’t sure I could handle them trying to take over my recovery. I could already tell the pain was going to send me into repeated sensory overload.
The other option also could have been my dad’s two sisters and, well. We didn’t get along. They didn’t really like my mom. Or me and my brothers. Or my dad, for that matter, so I shouldn’t have worried.
“You’re frowning,” my mom said.
“I’m thinking. My head is fuzzy. My leg hurts. I don’t think I can feel my toes.”
She sighed and stood up. “I’m going to see if you can drink some tea. I have some sachets in my purse.”
I didn’t bother telling her that tea was probably on the “no” list for things I was allowed to have before surgery. Instead, I rolled over as best I could to take some of the pressure off my back and wondered if they could knock me out again so I could sleep until I was allowed to go home.
The hospital was horrible. The sheets were scratchy, everything was too white, it smelled funny, the machines beeped at random intervals, and the blood pressure cuff had sharp plastic edges that made me want to either rip it to pieces or tear the top layer of my skin off.
I could do it. I could handle it.
I just didn’t want to.
“They said you’re not allowed,” she said when she breezed back into the room. “I think that’s ridiculous. I drank half a pot of Elaichi chai an hour before I had my hysterectomy, and I recovered in six hours.”
“That’s literally not possible,” I murmured. The pain was getting worse. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. “Can I have more medicine?”
“Push the button, beta. They’ll come in and let you know.”
I fumbled for the button, but before my thumb could press down, the door to my room opened again. It wasn’t the nurse though. It was Colton and Matty, and they looked so pale they were almost green, and their eyes were wide.
“Oh fuck, are you alive?” Colton said, rushing up to the bed.
“Language,” my mom said. She stood up and took his shoulders, turning him to face her. “Look at you. You’ve grown six feet since this morning.”
His cheeks pinked, and he ducked his head. “Hi, Manisha, I—I mean auntie,” she’d probably given him a look, but Colton was always more cautious about whether or not he was allowed to call her that. “Is he okay?”
“He’s okay. Look at what a sweet friend you have, Ferris. He’s coming to check on you and make sure you’re alright.”
“This is totally my fault,” Colton said, his voice shaking, “I was craving food, and I told him to go to that curry shop, and—”
“No,” my mom and I said at the same time. I took a breath and pushed up on my elbow. “I was looking at my phone and not paying attention, and someone was going too fast. They said I’m gonna be fine.”
He took another long inhale. “You know that Cosmo is going to murder me if you don’t get better before camp, right? Like, he’s shitting his pants nervous. He doesn’t want to go without you.”
“The doctor says he’s going to be fine. I’m getting an apartment and staying to take care of him,” my mom assured him.
“Oh my god,” Matty said. “For real? Can we come over?”
“You can come over all you want. I’ll take care of my boys.” She gave Colton a pat on the cheek. “Tell everyone to come get something to eat and keep Ferris company.”
Well. Cue my latest nightmare. Recovering in a small apartment with my mom, my auntie, and all the frat boys using the place like a revolving door to get hugs and samosas.
There would be no peace.
“This room seems awfully full,” came a voice from the doorway. A nurse appeared. “You need to let my patient get rest.”
Matty leaned over and tapped his fist against mine, and Colton did the same. “Catch you later, yo.”
Colton ruffled my hair, and then they both leaned in to hug my mom before heading out. When the door was shut, the nurse walked over and smiled down at me.
“Hurting?”
“Mm.”
“It’s time for your next dose. This should knock you right out until you see your surgeon. Sound good?”
Normally, I would have been shit-scared of being drugged unconscious, but after the night I’d had and the rest of the chaos I was facing, I was ready for it. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” She twisted the cap off a plunger, and the next thing I knew, my veins were burning, and I could smell something odd in my nose. And then the warmth. And the heaviness.
A bit more of an itch, but in that moment, I didn’t care.
“She’s a nice girl,” my mom said.
I was floating and fading. “I don’t like girls.”
She petted my hair. “I know, beta. But just in case you change your mind…”
“Already met…the man of my dreams. So pretty. Pretty eyes. Pretty smile.”
“Who is he?”
I wanted to recite poetry about the way he kissed, and touched me, and held me after, but my tongue was too thick. Thank god for that, because if she’d known what I’d done—and who I’d done it with—there would be hell for Quinn to pay.
But the drugs were working.
And I was slipping off to the memory of the only time I was truly happy in a long, long while.