Chapter 16 #2
He said nothing, but I could see him biting his lip like he was holding something back. He quickly parked the car up against the curb, then ran his hands through his hair before turning to look at me. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Yes, but…”
He frowned. “Are you ashamed of me?”
My eyes went wide. “What? No. Quinn, you…” I struggled to find the words to explain it to him. “What are your parents like?”
He looked a little surprised. “Um. They’re not alive now, but—”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorr—”
“No,” he said quickly. “No, it’s…it’s fine. They passed a long time ago. I was really young. And they weren’t really involved parents. I was in a lot of after-school activities to keep me from bothering them.”
Then he really wasn’t going to get it. “My mom has kind of made her sons her whole personality,” I said softly. I bit down on my thumbnail, then dropped my hand to my lap because the nail was getting close to the quick, and I hated that kind of pain. “It’s…”
“A cultural thing?” he chanced with a tiny smile. “I know that hockey isn’t the most diverse sport in the world, but I’ve had a lot of friends over the years who came from a lot of backgrounds. I think I can understand.”
“If she thinks she’s doing something for our own good, she won’t care who it hurts,” I told him.
“She won’t even think about it until she’s sure that we’re safe.
And it’s worse with me.” My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat.
“When I was little, I had doctors who didn’t really get autism.
They thought I’d be nonverbal my whole life.
One of them even told her I would probably never be potty trained and would always need diapers.
One convinced her that even if I did develop normally, by the time I turned five, I would regress and never be able to take care of myself. ”
“Christ,” he breathed out.
I shrugged. “There are kids like that. I wasn’t one of them, but she had her expectations set on how much I was going to need her, and she’s still struggling to accept that I don’t.”
Reaching over, he grabbed my hand and kissed my palm.
It was warm and dry and so comforting, the way his lips lingered.
His gaze held mine for a long moment before I looked away.
“Right now, I’m your physical therapist who is going to give you a place to stay while you’re in recovery.
That’s all that matters. And it’s all the truth.
Not every person needs to know every detail, do they? ”
He wasn’t wrong. They didn’t. And it made me feel better that it wasn’t a lie because lying to my mom was still so hard. I’d only managed it once or twice in my life, and I still felt sick thinking about it.
“She’s a good mom,” I told him. “In spite of how much she pisses me off sometimes, I love her a lot.”
“I can tell.” He smiled, kissed my palm one more time, then let me go. “Come on. I’ll help you to the front door.”
I didn’t really need his help, but it was the one reason I could touch him in front of her and be fine. So when he stood beside me and kept a hand on my lower back, I slowed my pace as we made it to the front door.
I could hear voices when I stepped inside, and it didn’t take long to find out who it was. Cosmo, Colton, and Eli were sitting in the little kitchen, a huge plate of what smelled like keema samosas with a dipping bowl of chutney in the center.
Colton had the grace to look slightly ashamed. Cosmo just grinned, his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. Eli was beside him, leaning against his shoulder, shooting me a grin as his hands absently folded something into a little animal.
“What?” Cosmo said at the pointed silence. “This is the only place I don’t have to fight for my life at the dinner table.”
He had a bunch of brothers, so I was not surprised.
I glanced up at my mom, who was giving me an odd look, and I realized I’d forgotten to introduce Quinn. He wasn’t in the room with me. He was still hovering in the shadows in the hallway. The guys had missed him, but my mom had not.
“I’m moving out today,” I said.
“I’m sorry? You’re what?” my mom asked.
Quinn stepped out, and Cosmo started to choke on his swallow of fried dough.
“Holy shiii—uh. Shipwreck.” He glanced at my mom, afraid she might smack him upside the head.
I didn’t bother mentioning I also had brothers, and while we were terrified of her if she had her slipper in her hand, she was used to it.
Colton just met Quinn’s gaze and nodded. “What’s up, man. Saw you left the chat a while back.”
Quinn cleared his throat. “I’ve been pretty swamped at work. But good to see you all again.”
My mom took one step closer, and I knew it was bad when she switched to Urdu. “Beta. What is going on? What is this strange man doing in my house?” She looked at him again, and her eyes widened. “Pistachio latte,” she said in English.
I frowned. “What?”
Quinn cleared his throat. “Nice to see you again. I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name before. I’m Quinn.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Manisha, but you may call me Mrs. Redding,” she said.
Quinn wouldn’t know that was terrifying, but she’d never asked any of my friends to call her that which meant he was in trouble.
She turned her attention back to me. “And I’m going to need you to explain to me right now what is going on. ”
I took a breath. “I have to move out of the dorms.”
“Yes, yes. I have everything set up in your room. I’ve already called Logan and Carter. They said they can come by this weekend and—”
“No.” She reared back. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d so bluntly told her no. I sighed. “Mama, I’m not going to stay here. I’ll be getting my own place soon, and you need to go back to Toronto.”
Her eyes felt like lasers. “You’re telling me what I need?”
“No. But I can tell you want to go. And I’m fine. No more surgeries, and Quinn says that my ankle is healing up faster than the doctors expected.”
“And he’s the expert on ankles, is he?” she demanded.
In my periphery, I could see him bite his lip, then let it go. “I’m his physical therapist. I have a really large brownstone not too far from the arena, and only ten minutes from the clinic. I’m more than happy to give him a room and ensure that he’s staying on top of his physical therapy.”
“In exchange for what?” she demanded. “Some kind of service to repay you? Or are you taking his money?”
At that, Colton cleared his throat loudly and stood up, motioning for the guys to follow. “We should take off. Uh…great to see you, man.” He held a fist out for Quinn to bump his knuckles, then carefully yanked me close and leaned in to my ear. “Text me if you need me.”
I nodded. “I’ll be fine.”
“Mm, yeah, but we are so talking about this.” He pushed back and turned to give my mom a hug. She immediately began to fuss over all three boys, not letting them walk away without a plastic container each full of samosas and sauce.
When Eli passed, he slipped a swan into my hand. “Good luck.”
Cosmo squeezed my shoulder but said nothing, and eventually, the door closed, leaving another heavy silence in the room.
Finally, my mom cleared her throat. “Tell me what you’re asking from my son for something this big. And don’t bullshit me,” she said.
I sucked in a breath. I’d only ever heard her swear once, and that was when Logan jumped off the roof into a friend’s pool and broke his tailbone when he missed.
Before I could jump in, Quinn stepped around me. “I told you I played hockey when we met…”
“Wait,” I said, holding up a hand. “When did you meet?”
“Your mom and I met in the line getting coffee. She convinced me to treat myself.”
“And if I’d known…” my mom started.
I shook my head. “Please don’t. He’s not doing anything bad. He understands exactly what I’m going through.” I looked up at him and tried for a smile. Quinn’s eyes softened, and I nodded for him to go on with his story.
“I was hit by a car. A drunk driver.” His voice was steady, but knowing him the way I did now, I could hear the tension in it.
How much those words hurt to say. “It destroyed my knee, and because I was stubborn about the whole thing, I messed up my chances for it to heal properly, and I was forced to retire. I don’t regret it now, but I see so much talent in Ferris.
I don’t want him to screw something up for himself that could be so, so good. I can help him with that.”
She was silent for so long it felt like spiders were crawling up my back.
Then she nodded. “I want to see where you’re living.
” She switched back to Urdu. “I want you to promise me you’ll be safe, and if you feel that he’s taking advantage of you, you’ll call me.
Your dad will drive down here with all of your brothers and make sure he never looks at you sideways again. ”
I laughed. “I promise, but please trust me, I feel safe.” I was almost afraid to believe it was this easy, but there was something different in the way she was looking at me.
She finally closed the distance between us and grabbed me by the face, kissing my forehead. “I love you.”
I grunted. I rarely said those words, no matter how deeply I felt them. But she knew.
Letting me go, she turned to Quinn and gave him a long, slow, up-and-down look. “You obviously haven’t been eating enough. Sit down and let me finish cooking.”
“Oh, um…”
“I don’t know what my son told you about the way I run my house, but in here, we don’t argue with me. Sit down. You can gather his things after I’m satisfied.”
He shot me a terrified look, and I shrugged. She wasn’t wrong. In here, we didn’t argue with her. But for the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to.