Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Ferris
Across the table from me, Cosmo leaned over and snatched a kiss from Eli. It made me feel warm all over. I might have been jealous once, but now, it was easy to see him happy. It was easy to see them both happy when I had my own at home.
“Here.” Reaching into my bag, I pulled out a handful of little amigurumi—a koala, a button quail with a wide-brimmed hat, an otter with stubby legs, and a little mushroom.
Cosmo took them all, studied them, then gave Eli the mushroom before curling his hands around the rest. “You been anxious lately?”
I shrugged. “Yes and no. It’s easy to forget about everything else I have to do coming up. But then Quinn brings up going to the arena so he can get paperwork done, or he brings me to one of his sled hockey practices and…” I trailed off with a shrug.
Cosmo gave me a look of understanding. “Does it feel weird? Being done with it all but not being done with life and shit.”
“My little philosopher,” Eli said.
Cosmo gave him a look, then kissed him again.
For only a moment, I let myself wonder what their relationship was like. This very obvious love. It was a very different kind of love from what I had with Quinn or what Colton had with Myles.
“Have you talked to Colton lately?”
Cosmo dragged his gaze away from Eli after a beat. “He and Myles are insufferable. Probably like you and Quinn, except you never bring him around.”
“You can come visit when my mom is here,” I told them both. “She doesn’t know about us yet.”
His eyes widened. “Dude. You still haven’t told your mom?”
“I know she really loves him. I mean, she did when she was here. But…” I twisted my hands together, trailing off. “I won’t give him up, but I also don’t want her to hate me. Or him.”
“Dude.” Cosmo rolled his eyes again. “I’m pretty sure your mom doesn’t hate anyone, like, ever.”
That was absolutely not true, but he also didn’t know my mom other than the sweet auntie who made sure everyone was warm and fed. Though I was pretty sure it would be fine. Like…eighty-nine percent sure. Okay, maybe seventy-two percent sure.
“Breathe,” Eli said, sounding a lot more relaxed than Cosmo. “I think once she sees you two together, she’ll get it.”
“She’ll be angry at first, I think. He’s older than me and so much more experienced.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like he’s taking advantage of you. If she doesn’t see it right away, she will.”
Nodding, I tried to ignore the pit in my stomach. I wanted to believe them both. It was just hard because I knew how it looked. I knew how he looked. I knew that my mom still thought I was easy to manipulate and control. I didn’t know how to convince her I was more than her assumptions of me.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I flew out of my seat. “I have to go. See you later.”
On my dash away from the table, I could hear Cosmo say, “You know he loves us because of how many animals he made for us.”
Part of me wanted to turn around and reassure them both, but the bigger part of me knew that Quinn was waiting for me at the curb, and I really, really wanted a kiss.
I found Quinn’s car after a second, and I saw him smiling at me through the windshield. My ankle twinged a little as I hurtled toward the passenger side, but it was easy to ignore as I yanked on the handle and climbed in.
Quinn had been in St. Louis for training, and though he was only gone a week, it felt like a year.
“You smell like you showered,” I said as I yanked him close and attached my lips to his.
He hummed into the kiss, touching my tongue with his before forcing me back. “I knew the airport smell would bother you.”
“I love you. Like, a lot.”
He laughed and kissed me again. “I know. Now, are you ready to go home, or do you want me to park so we can go back and visit with your friends for a bit.”
“Uhg, no. They’re just going to keep making out, and I really want to have sex.”
He burst into surprised laughter. He did that sometimes, usually when I didn’t use my social filter, which I didn’t very often. Especially with him. Curling a finger under my chin, he studied my face, then kissed me one last time before putting the car in drive and pulling out onto the road.
“So. Your mom.”
I flopped my head back against the headrest. “Do we have to talk about this?”
“You are the love of my life, and I will indulge you in literally anything you want, but you need to give me a heads-up about her visit,” he said.
I sighed. It was only fair. “My dad’s coming too. And Logan.”
“Which one is he?”
“The eldest,” I said. He was a pain in the ass, but he was a good brother. “He’s getting divorced, and he’s sad, so I told him he could come ogle hockey butts.”
“Oh. Is he…”
I shrugged. “He’s made some comments recently.
” Logan and I didn’t talk much, but the other day, he’d mentioned flirting with a shop owner at the bakery near my parents’ place, and I knew the owner.
He was very much a man. “I think maybe when he realized my parents weren’t going to throw me out and disown me for liking men, he started to feel safer being himself. ”
Quinn smiled softly. “I think you probably made him feel safe too.”
That was…I didn’t really know how to feel about it.
I never thought I could be a person who made anyone feel safe.
But thinking back, maybe I was wrong. Colton and Cosmo both came to me when things were shitty during the semester.
Sometimes Eli and I would sit quietly, and I would crochet and he would fold water bottle labels, and we’d just exist together.
He’d always smile at me after, like he was happy I was there, even if neither of us said a word.
When I met Myles, he’d been stressed as hell, but he never avoided me. When he and Colton started to become a thing, he would always make time to pop by my room or hang with me on the porch.
It wasn’t everyone. Half the frat avoided me like I had a plague. Some of the others clearly preferred to pretend like I didn’t exist. I had no friends besides Cosmo on the hockey team. Just people appreciated my skills at keeping the puck out of the net.
But I had people who cared.
And Quinn was one of the most important ones.
“Do I make you feel safe?”
He laughed softly and tugged my hand to his lips. Nothing felt better than those soft knuckle kisses he was always giving me. “I have never felt safer in my life.”
I believed him.
And that made me smile.
My parents arrived alone just before dinner.
Quinn had worried himself almost sick about cooking, and in the end, I put an end to the madness and ordered Chinese from the dim sum place down the street.
The delivery driver dropped it all off ten minutes before their car pulled up, and he was setting it out on the table when they rang the bell.
His spine stiffened, and he went a little pale.
“I’ll get it.” I stole a quick kiss before walking to the door. My own anxiety was intense, but I was doing my best to keep it tucked away toward the pit in my stomach.
My dad was first inside. I hadn’t seen him in a while, so it was nice to see his face in person instead of on my tiny phone screen whenever he’d FaceTime me.
He looked…older, really. A bit more grey, which made the percentage of his black hair almost nonexistent.
He had more wrinkles too, and I thought he’d lost a bit of weight, though he was still broader and looked like he should be teaching gym instead of religious history at the university.
But his eyes were the same, bright and happy to see me, glinting behind his wire-rimmed glasses. He was wearing a T-shirt and jeans, which I was pretty sure my brother had picked out, and his arms were still strong when he offered them out for a hug.
It felt good to rest against him. I felt a bit like a kid again, though only for a moment.
“You’ve grown six feet,” he said, letting me go slowly.
“That would make me a medically impossible person,” I said.
“Unless you were a Nephilim,” he countered.
Rolling my eyes, I turned to my mom and turned my cheek so she could kiss it. “You look better, beta. Rested.” She gave me a slow up and down, making me turn from side to side. “Your ankle?”
“Sturdy. I’m using an orthotic on the ice right now, and for camp, I’m going to be put on no contact, but I should get some time in the net.”
My dad clapped my shoulder and squeezed. It was one of the few social languages we shared, hockey lingo. He got really into it after moving to Canada, and I thought he was still probably disappointed by the fact that I was drafted to Boston, but I knew he was glad we could share this.
“Come on,” I said after a beat. “Quinn’s waiting in the kitchen.”
My dad brightened, and I realized that he probably knew exactly who Quinn was. He wasn’t a Rangers fan, but that wouldn’t have mattered. He would have heard the stories and seen the news reports on it.
My stomach twisted a bit more as we walked toward the living room and Quinn appeared. The tension was thick, and then my dad stepped forward and extended his hand to him.
“So. Quinn Rhodes.”
Quinn nodded, glancing at my mom and offering a very small, very shy smile. “It’s nice to meet you, sir.”
“Same here. Now, what are your intentions with my son?”
“Liam!” “Dad!” my mom and I both echoed at the same time.
He shrugged, unrepentant as he pulled his hand back. “I know, I know. I’m not supposed to say anything. I’m supposed to make it a safe space so you two can tell us on your own when you’re ready, but that’s going to take so long.” He rolled his head back in frustration.
“I’m so sorry,” my mom said, smacking him on the arm.
Swallowing heavily, I took a step closer to Quinn. I could see his arm twitch like he wanted to pull me close, and god, how I wanted that too. “So you…know?”
My mom sighed and shook her head. “I wasn’t absolutely certain, but it was a little bit obvious. You two are not very subtle.”
I stepped even closer to Quinn, not stopping until my arm was touching his. “And you aren’t angry.”