Twenty-Three
A s soon as they were done quizzing my lady, I took her and her bag of stuff to my room, locking us in together, and watching her as she stood in the middle of my small room, and looked around. Fuck. It was a fucking shit hole, and I could see her shoulders starting to tense at the mess.
“Babe, here’s what I want you to do. Take this bag of yours into the bathroom, grab a shower, and I’m gonna take care of this, right? It’s… I’m not normally in a mess like this. It just kinda happened after being away and stuff.” As in being stabbed and left for dead. Grace grimaced as she glanced at my bathroom door.
“I swear it’s clean in there. It’s safe, babe, I promise. I’ll get this squared away.” She finally, reluctantly, let me put her bag in the bathroom, and I pulled the door closed behind me. I was fucking torn really, because she might need me in there, but this mess was going to make sure she couldn’t relax when she came back out, and I needed her to feel relaxed. I needed her to rest up, and get some sleep.
I ran around the room, gathering up laundry that had ended up anywhere other than the small laundry bin, shoving it all inside and cramming the lid down. Wait. No, that was no good. I dragged the bedding off, and tried to cram it inside too, but it wasn’t going to fit, so some of it was shoved on top of the basket too. Fuck me. That wasn’t much better. I picked up everything else that lay where it shouldn’t, and took the few used mugs and stuff to the kitchenette, which was literally a hot plate, a sink, and some cupboards, oh and a small fridge, mostly filled with beer.
I washed up, and set the dishes to dry, and returned to make the bed, but by this time, I was more worried that Grace hadn’t reappeared, so I left the bedding stacked on the mattress, and tapped on the bathroom door. I couldn’t hear water running, and there was no crying or anything, but that didn’t mean she was okay. I pushed the door open enough to peer inside, and she was sitting on the closed lid of the toilet, a bunch of clothes in her arms, staring at the floor. Aw my sweet baby. I kicked off my boots, and joined her in my small bathroom.
“Babe, can I help you get clean?” She lifted her head at last, her eyes dripping with silent tears.
“Torch,” she whispered, and I fucking got it. She didn’t need to say more, because I fucking got it. She nearly died tonight. She nearly got fucking murdered because of me.
“I’m so sorry, babe,” I said as I dropped to my knees in front of her.
“I know this is my fault, and I hate that it came anywhere near you. Can I help you get clean so you can come to bed? The room’s better, I promise. I just need to remake the bed.”
She shuddered. “I’m sorry I’m so weird. I’m trying.”
I took the clothes from her arms and lay them on top of her bag, pulling her up and into my arms.
“Nothing weird about you, babe, although you can be a filthy little minx at times. It’s one of the things I love about you.” Her head lifted, and her sad eyes met mine.
“Love?”
I nodded, stroking her cheek. “Yeah, babe. Love. You think I get this close to women? Something about you just fucking owned me. I’m yours, babe, but I understand if this isn’t what you want. Even without a serial killer, this club is still a rough boy’s club with occasional criminal behaviour.”
Grace let me undress her, and get her into my small shower cubicle, crying quietly while I gently washed her, keeping my boxers on, after shedding the rest of my clothes. After she was clean, I gently rubbed her dry with the only towel I had, helping her dress, and giving her the towel again to wrap around her hair.
Once she was done, I grabbed the small hand towel and tried to dry myself off. This is where having no hair pays off, because at least it was just skin to dry. I got mostly dry, and took her back out to my room, which looked better, but would probably never be good enough for someone with her need for organisation and control. Jesus, I was letting her down again.
“Let me just make the bed, babe, just wait here.” She followed me to the bed, making a huffy sound as she reached for the sheets.
“I’m not broken, Torch. I just needed to let it out, but I’m more than capable of making a damn bed.”
My fucking sassy woman, fighting to stay on top, even though she’s had a hell of a scare tonight. I let her help me with the bedding, then firmly tucked her under them.
“Want something to drink? Tea? Coffee? I might have something stronger, I can check.”
She sat back against my headboard, which admittedly was wooden and not so comfy.
“Something stronger, definitely. Then… you’re coming to bed with me, right?”
“Try and stop me, babe.”
Grace
H e was tiptoeing around me, like he thought I’d suddenly crumble, and he’d have to pick up the pieces. I didn’t want to be pieces. I didn’t want him to be so careful that he wouldn’t scare me, or hurt me. I wanted him to just be him with me, so I could enjoy normality, and remind myself of it, instead of the memories of that bastard tonight.
“Here, babe. It’s a shot of Patron . That’s all I have really, except tea or coffee. I could make you one of those too. Do you need food?”
“I need you to sit the hell down, Mr North,” I snapped at him, and his eyes widened as he dropped down on the bed beside me, sucking in a deep breath.
“Fuck, it’s hot when you do that. Do you want to spank me, babe? I’ll be your anything you want.”
He looked eager, and nervous, and so desperate to please, and all I wanted was Torch.
“I just want you to be you, do you think you can do that for me? I’m not a victim. I survived an attack, and I’m fine. I’m safe. I’m safe because of you, Torch.”
His posture tensed as he kept watching me.
“If not for me, you wouldn’t even be hurt at all. I’m so fucking pissed that I caused this to happen to you.”
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, downing the shot of alcohol, and shuddering and gagging in the aftermath of it.
“Yuck. That stuff is horrible.” Still, it did what it was supposed to do, right? A shock to the system. An awakening.
“Yeah, it’s coffee Patron . Someone bought it for me, but I can only drink it if it’s with something else, and I’m all out. I actually think someone half inched some of my stuff while I was uh… away.”
“Torch, listen to me and hear me on this. You didn’t cause what happened tonight, and you’re not to blame. I mean, look, it could honestly be some crazy coincidence, and that was a random thing tonight. There’s no proof it was connected to the club, right? It was some big guy, dressed in black and wearing a balaclava. He could have been anyone.”
“You never mentioned that before. What he wore, I mean. Gloves?” I nodded.
“Leather ones.”
“What colour were his eyes? You must have stared into them when he had you… when he… Jesus…”
“Brown.” They were definitely brown. Very dark. Filled with malice and evil. And hatred. Ugh. I didn’t want to see those eyes ever again.
“Brown eyes. Babe, you just narrowed this down a lot. Wow, let me text that to Stitch.” He got up and grabbed his phone, tapping away at it, and when he was done, he set it aside and returned, climbing into the bed beside me.
The second he was in reach, I rolled closer, and let him hold me, because I needed to be held. I needed to feel his strength, and body heat. I needed to feel his body beside mine, filled with life, just like mine was, even though either one of us could have ended up dead because of this bastard. I wasn’t really considering it being a coincidence at all. We both knew it was bull, but I was trying to ease his mind a little, because even if it was because of the club, that didn’t make it his fault.
“You’re safe now, babe. I’m not letting anything else happen to you, I promise.”
We sat in silence for a while, but it was too awkward. Too quiet. Too uncomfortable.
“Torch?”
“Yeah, babe? You wanna settle down?” Was he relieved? Was this so awkward for him too?
“No, I mean, unless you want to.”
He chuckled, kissing the top of my head.
“I’m easy, babe.”
Easy, huh? “So you want to fuck?”
He froze for a moment, then burst out laughing.
“Seriously? Here I am, trying to be all sensitive and considerate, and you’re horny? Is that the kinda shit that gets you hot?”
“No, Torch. You make me hot. You’re touching me, we’re in bed, and you’re only wearing a pair of boxers, and I’m wearing shorts and a vest. We’re practically naked already, and I want you inside me.”
He growled under his breath as he moved fast, rolling us, so that I was on my back, and his weight covered me, and then he cursed.
“Fuck. I don’t have condoms. Let me go see if I can snag any from someone.” Was it a comfort that he had none here? Did that mean he wasn’t always having women up here? Or was it worse than that? Did he sleep around without them?
“I’m on birth control,” I said slowly, wondering if I could ask about his past, without offending him.
“I never fuck without condoms, babe.” For a moment I thought he was telling me he wouldn’t, but then I realised what he was saying. He’s clean, is what he was saying.
“So…”
“I haven’t been with anyone but you in months, babe, so if… uh…”
“Just fuck me, Torch. I need you. I need you to remind me of who I am, and who I belong to.” He hesitated, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip as he stared down at me.
“Uh… you’re saying you want me to be uh…”
“Rough. Be who you are. Treat me like you always do, and reclaim me as yours, Torch. He touched what’s yours, so don’t you want to take me back?”
He made a snarling noise as his lips crashed against mine, and he slowly pushed my top up, baring my breasts to his gaze as he sat up, straddling me.
“Fuck. Babe, I don’t know if I can.” My heart thudded in my chest, because I didn’t know if he was rejecting me, or just rejecting mistreating me after what I’d been through tonight.
“Torch, it’s what I need right now. Get me out of my head, please. Reduce me to your filthy fucktoy, and use me. I’m begging you,” I blushed as I finished speaking, well, begging , as I said.
Torch took a deep breath.
“Fine. Remember you can use ‘Phoenix’ to stop me.”
It was never going to happen.