Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
WRENLEY
I wasn’t sleeping. I could barely concentrate, and I was becoming more snappish as time went on. I was tired of pretending. Tired of hiding. Tired of everything.
Worst of all, I was back to being scared.
I constantly told myself he wouldn’t find me. He would give up on contacting me.
But what happened if he didn’t?
What happened if he showed up in this town and dragged me back?
Fear raged in me when I woke screaming from nightmares of invisible, unwanted touches.
What he’d done to me shouldn’t have been allowed to happen. I should have done more. I should have said something. How had Death’s sister been so brave when she reached out to her family, and yet, there I was acting like a fearful little kitten cowering?
I’d been there for Jupiter. I’d told her everything would be okay and that she had done the right thing by saying something and making that man pay so he didn’t hurt anyone else.
I was a fake.
I didn’t even listen to my own advice.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I was safe now. I had people who cared about me. I had people who would protect me.
I could lean on them. I was allowed to.
They wouldn’t push me away like our parents had all our lives. They’d open their arms and help me.
It was time to talk and stop being a secretive little twit.
So, screw it .
If Tony called or messaged again, I would tell Raya.
A simmer of courage rose. I roughly wiped at my face as the tears slowed, and I drew in a shaky breath.
I could do this. I had to. If not for me, then others.
He could be tormenting another woman right now, and it’d be all my fault.
Oh shit… it really would be my fault.
I didn’t stand up to him. I didn’t go to the police.
But at the time, I’d run from what happened with him straight to my parents’ place to witness… all that blood.
Everything had changed. I’d gone from a trauma I didn’t remember to one I’d witnessed. What I’d seen had altered me irrevocably. I’d forced my thoughts about the attack aside to deal with the horror thrown in my face.
I’d pushed and pushed and pushed it all down inside me. I hadn’t really dealt with anything to do with Tony until I received that first text.
Now I would.
I had to.
How many more days could I go on like this?
Screw waiting for another call.
I tightened my hands around the steering wheel, closed my eyes, and dropped my forehead to the top of it.
Be brave. You can do this. Think of Jupiter. Death will help. He’ll be there for Raya. You can do this.
I can.
Clenching my teeth, I sniffed.
I had to do this.
Drawing in another deep yet still shaky breath, I straightened and wiped at my face once more. Clearing my throat, I took another long inhale through the nose and checked myself in the visor mirror.
Shaking my hands out, I bit my bottom lip.
Just keep moving and deal with it when it comes.
Rolling my shoulders, I climbed out of the car and made my way into the supermarket.
I probably looked a mess, but I held my head high and entered.
After grabbing a cart, I headed through the front entrance.
For the time being, I wanted to forget everything again and walk around the store without him on my mind, without fear in my belly, and without the stress that had built to bursting point.
As I shopped, I forced myself to think of something else. The first thing I conjured was when I’d met the dog Harley and his owner, Torch.
Harley was just adorable. He’d been all gruff and mean to start with, but I knew I’d win him over. Smiling to myself, I grabbed some items off the shelf.
What surprised me the most when I met Torch that night was how he hadn’t frightened me when he’d appeared out of nowhere.
Maybe it was because I knew Death and Raya were there, and that I was at a compound full of bikers I trusted.
Though, I was halfway certain the main cause of my fearlessness had been from Torch’s soft gaze.
There’d been something about him that had calmed me. Maybe that sounded crazy, but I’d never had an instant feeling of safety around a person before.
His good looks didn’t slip my notice either. A brief pang of sorrow had touched my heart when I’d noticed his scars. He had an old slash in his eyebrow and on both cheeks. Those marks must have been deep to heal that way.
Did he have them in other places?
I hoped not.
Silently, I cursed myself when a flush filled my cheeks at the thought of seeing his naked body. I shouldn’t even be thinking about his body in a way that brought heat to my skin since I’d only met him briefly. I didn’t know the man.
But there’s nothing wrong with admiring, I tried to tell myself, only to shove those thoughts away while I put my attention back to shopping and grabbed some milk.
Torch did seem different, though.
And now I’m back to thinking about him.
But he wasn’t like any guy I’d met before. He even stood out from his brothers. Maybe it was the way he spoke or how he held himself. But he was unlike anyone I’d met at the compound so far. Though, I was sure I hadn’t met everyone since there were a lot of bikers in the club.
Torch was also the first guy who had piqued my interest in a long time. Yes, the brothers I’d been introduced to at Death’s house were handsome. But they hadn’t made my stomach flutter like it did after I met Torch’s gaze for the first time.
Even now, as I thought of him, there was a tingle once more.
“Wrenley.”
I jolted, heart leaping, and spun to see Gun coming toward me from the end of the aisle. He was another member of the Diamond MC.
“Hey.” I smiled, immediately calming. “What are you doing here?”
He stopped in front of me and bent to give me a quick hug. As he straightened, he nodded toward the next aisle. “Saint’s got our cart in another aisle, but he’s slow as fuck shoppin’. I came to grab things while he read all the damn labels.”
Laughing, I said, “That something an old man would do?”
I expected a snort or a chuckle back, but I got nothing. I glanced from the refrigerator to Gun.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Huh?”
“Wren, you look like you’ve been crying,” he said gently.
Damn it.
Saint and Gun were partners and brothers of the club, but Gun was also the guy I’d been opening up to about what I’d seen at the house when our father killed our mother. He’d been in a similar situation and shared his story with me before I’d even said a word about mine. His sharing had been an effective way to get me to relax and tell him about my ordeal since I hadn’t wanted to speak with a therapist.
I waved him off with a roll of my eyes. “It’s nothing. A silly video I saw on TikTok.”
“You don’t have TikTok.”
I shrugged and grabbed my cart, pushing it further along. “It must have been Facebook.”
Gun followed. “You have no social accounts, Wren. I asked you when we first met.” His hand landed on my shoulder, and he gently turned me. “What’s going on?”
The worry in his gaze had me caving slightly. “It’s going to be handled. I’ll talk to Raya when I get home. I have to tell her first.”
His brows pinched. “It’s serious,” he stated.
I shrugged again, glancing off to the side.
His hands cupped my cheeks as he brought my gaze up to his. “You know you have people at your back. No matter what it is, we’ll help you.”
Tears formed and my heart clenched.
I did have people who would help.
Sniffing, I whispered, “I don’t want to cry in the supermarket, Gun. Stop being nice.” He grinned. “But thank you.”
“Hey, lover” was called from down the aisle. “If you’re hittin’ on a woman, then I’m not doin’ my job in the bedroom. Still, back the fuck off.”
Gun sighed and turned to face Saint, which left me in full sight.
Saint smirked. “Hey, Wrenley. How you doin’?”
Gun crossed his arms over his chest and made a noise in the back of his throat. “Are you serious right now? You can’t shout shit like that out, Zion.”
Zion was Saint’s Christian name.
Saint hooked an arm around Gun’s neck and dragged him in, planting a loud kiss on his cheek. “You like it when I show the world you’re mine.”
“Shut up,” Gun clipped as his face heated.
Saint tipped his chin my way. “You good?”
“I will be.”
Saint grinned. “Cool. You let us know if there’s anythin’ we can help with.”
Another hit to the chest of those warm emotions that had me drawing in a deep breath through my nose as I nodded to him.
Gun nudged Saint in the ribs. “Don’t be nice. She doesn’t want to cry in the supermarket.”
“Did you tell her people already know anyway because she looks like she’s been bawlin’ for a week?”
Laughing, I mock glared. “Thanks, Saint.”
He winked. “Pleasure.”
My sister and I were honestly blessed when we moved in next door to Death. Not only did Raya connect with a protective, kind man, but we both gained some wonderful friends. It didn’t matter that we were still getting to know them since I already trusted them in ways I would my own sister.
My heart was slowly being filled with a lightness that left me warm.
I just had to get rid of the mold festering in it to move on without fear.
“You mind if we finish shoppin’ with you?” Saint asked.
I grinned. “As long as you don’t take forever reading all the labels like an old man.”
His narrowed gaze swung to Gun, who raised his hands in front of him, chuckling. “I didn’t call you an old man. That was Wrenley.”
“Wren, my body is my temple. I gotta take care of it, or my younger lovebug will leave me for someone prettier.”
Snorting, I took hold of my cart and moved along with them beside me. “Your body is your temple, and yet I saw all the booze you drank last night at the compound.”
“A god has to have a time-out from all his?—”
Gun covered his mouth before dragging him into a headlock. “Jesus, will you quit it?”
The whole scene lifted my mood and had me smiling wider.
Humor shone in Saint’s eyes as he pulled Gun’s hand away and used it to spin Gun around, dragging him into his chest. “Babe, is this your way of tellin’ me you’ll accept me no matter how I look?”
Gun’s face went red. “Fuck off.”
Saint chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes. What do you think, Wrenley?”
“I think you two are sickly sweet and you’re giving me a toothache. Tell me where I can find my other half like that?”
They shared a quick look before Gun reached out and ruffled my hair. “One day the love of your life will come along to annoy you.”
Saint let go of the cart and clutched his chest. “Aww, boo bear, havin’ you call me the love of your life is like you exploded my heart with all those fluttery emotions.”
While I covered my mouth and snickered behind my hand, Gun raised a brow. “I exploded your heart?”
He nodded.
“At least he said with fluttery emotions,” I offered.
Gun hummed under his breath. “I suppose.”
Laughing, I shook my head and went back to shopping while I listened to them bicker in their own sweet way. Seriously, they were completely in love with each other, and it was nice to see.
I really, really wished I could find that eventually.
Someone totally devoted to me.