Chapter 17 Alexandria
ALEXANDRIA
It wasn’t really a promise though, our bedroom was not much bigger than a closet, with a door to a small bathroom, and a wide cot-like bed.
It did not look fancy enough for a princess.
Even an exiled one. Our room was situated in the back corner of the Barn with walls for privacy, but no ceiling.
As men walked nearby through the building, their dancing shadows were cast onto the roof.
This was probably not enough privacy for fooling around.
I pressed down on the cot and it squeaked.
The mattress was thin, but the bedding was thick and it all would be comfortable enough for what I planned to do eventually, which was pass out, but not good for the sex I wanted to have first.
Torin said, “Tis disappointin’.”
“Truer words have not been spoken.”
I stripped off my outer clothes down to my underwear, and whispered, “We can hear them, can they hear us?”
Torin’s eyes wide, he said, “Aye, we will need tae be verra quiet—”
“I don’t know if I can be that quiet, and I am exhausted.” I collapsed onto my side and pulled the bedding up to my chin. Torin stripped off his kilt and spooned behind me.
I yawned.
He said, “If ye awaken and I am nae here, I will be in the war room at the table, discussin’ the battle. I think we are leavin’ in the night.”
“Don’t let me sleep through.” Then I sighed. “I’m sorry I’ve been so weepy, it’s not lost on me that I’m dwelling on long lost relatives and personal drama while men are about to fight to the death for me. I feel shitty.”
“Ye arna shitty tis—”
“Torin, I love you, but I don’t want you to tell me that the way I am behaving, thinking only of myself and my sadness, is okay and normal.
My brother just made such a difficult decision, one that goes against his happiness, and I’m sobbing into tissues I carry around in my sleeve.
Don’t repeat all the things you usually say to make me feel oh-so-much-better, this is a matter of life and death, people I don’t even know about to draw blood or be killed for my cause.
I need to pull up my big-girl panties and mount up.
Don’t tell me I’m good, tell me that we have more important things to deal with — I need to get out of my head. ”
He chuckled. “Och, ye are bossin’ me.”
“Day one of marriage and yes, bossing you, it’s part of my princess-ness. You’ll have to suffer. And be obedient. And order me to suffer and be obedient.”
He said, “I will be obedient and tell ye that all around is life and death. Yer brother kens it, he has made a good decision and he will be the better for it. Ye are dealin’ with hard things, but ye are strong and ye need tae mount up.
Part of being the princess is ye are the ‘cause’ and ye need for all these hundreds of men, especially the twenty troops who are goin’ tae go tae battle taenight, tae think ye are a cause worth fighting for. ”
“Damn, that’s a lot of pressure.”
“Aye, tis. Ye canna dwell on yer past and all that has happened tae ye. Ye need tae embrace yer new family and convince everyone tae win ye and Max the throne. Then when we are sitting at the table in yer big castle, eatin’ pizza, ye can look at me across the table and say, ‘now that we hae won, Torin, I feel terrible about the things that hae happened tae me,’ and I will say, ‘Och, ye hae long suffered in silence, Princess, ye hae the strength of ten men!’ and then ye will weep and I will comfort ye. All will be well after.”
I joked, “It’s very hard to suffer in silence, I will need you to say I have the strength of a hundred men.”
“Ye will hae the strength of thousands, Princess, because ye hae an army gathered, men who are willin’ tae die for yer bloodline — ye canna be weak.”
I said sleepily, “I won’t be weak, you’re right, I will put the grief off and instead I will just marvel that I have gained such a large family: a brother, a husband, three new uncles, a bunch of inconsequential cousins, and an aunt in basically a day. How did I get so lucky?”
His voice said, low behind my ear, “That’s m’girl.”
I turned in his arms and looked up at his face. “I love you so much.”
“I ken, mo leannan, I love ye as well.” He kissed me and tucked his face in that spot between my shoulder and neck and with his solid mass half on me, holding, comforting, weighty and big, we both fell asleep in the Barn on the edge of a usurped kingdom.
When I woke up, many hours later, I was disoriented and alone.
Where was Torin?
There was murmuring beyond the temporary wall. I climbed from the bed and used the bathroom, looking in the mirror. I was a wreck. I thought about using the shower, but what would I change into?
I unlatched my suitcase and peered in: I had brought so many pairs of underwear and socks.
I dug through. Not really anything to wear.
An oversupply of makeup in colors and shades I hadn’t worn in years.
I had also, inexplicably, stuffed a bunch of random stuff from my bedside table: a framed photo of my parents, the ones who raised me; a book light but no books; and weirdly the remote control for my bedroom’s TV.
None of this was helpful. And if I somehow ended up in my bedroom without my remote control I was going to be bummed.
Lying in the middle of the case was the carved wooden lamb that I had found just hours ago.
There was a quick rap on the door. “Tis yer Aunt Claray, I hae brought ye something tae wear.” I opened the door and peeked out, she was holding a bundle of luxuriant fabric. Thank God.
“Twas yer mother’s, I believe twill be a good fit for ye.”
“It’s been a decade, where did you get it?”
“We hae some of their things in storage. I thought this would be comfortable for the evening. If tis not I will go get ye another.”
I looked down on the bundle. “It’s sky blue brocade, my favorite color, it’s gorgeous.”
“Twas your mother’s favorite color as well.”
I put the bundle down on the bed and began panties and a bra, too. I didn’t need them but they were obviously very nice. I looked them over, and figured out that they would fit. My mother wore the same size.
I rubbed my temples. There was so much going on and my head hurt. I asked, “Do you time travel a lot by choice?”
“Are ye still achin’ from the jump?”
“Yes, how do you deal with the pain of it?”
Aunt Claray turned around and raised the back of her hair. “See the gold thread there? It keeps the pain from coming. I will give ye—”
My eyes went wide. “I have one in my locket! I never knew what it was for!” I held out the locket and clicked it open, showing her the gold thread.
“That is exactly what it is, let me put it on ye, in case a jump happens — they hae a way of sneaking up on ye, ye ken, ye will need tae be ready.” She adhered the golden thread to the back of my head.
She asked, “Did ye ken I gave ye this locket?”
“Really?”
“Aye, as yer Christening gift, it had a picture of yer family inside. The picture inna there?”
I looked back at the locket. “No, only the thread.”
“Likely twas removed by someone tae keep yer identity a secret. Tis a shame. I will look tae see if I hae another of the photos. The thread was so ye would be comfortable if ye needed tae jump.”
“Unfortunately I had no idea what it was for. I’ve been jumping without it.”
She asked, “Dost ye mind if I stay while ye dress? I can help ye if ye need it. The men’s conversation is boring.”
I said, “Yes, of course stay.”
Aunt Claray laid out the garments, an ensemble of different luxurious fabrics and furs in the same sky-blue tone. She said, smoothing a hand over the fabric, “Yer mother wore this once when she met with her cabinet, I thought she was verra beautiful. Tis royal without being too ostentatious.”
She looked away, while I discreetly began to dress.
Out in the larger area the men carried on a muted discussion and outside, the camp was growing quiet with the dusk as I was getting dressed for the day — my time was all upside down.
She held up a pair of slacks in a pale sky blue that shimmered. “These go on under the dress, yer mother always wanted tae be able tae ride a horse if she needed tae.”
I stepped into the pants, pulled them on, and buttoned the top. They were very comfortable and had a lot of movement. “Did she like riding?”
“Och, she loved it.”
Next she passed me the dress. It was made like a long coat, with buttons on the front from the waist up.
I pulled it on and buttoned it up. The top had an off-shoulder neckline, covered with an intricately stitched silver thistle pattern with glistening silver beads covering every bit of it.
It had long sleeves and exquisite embroidery at the wrists.
The dress fit me snugly to my waist and then flowed out.
There was a wide fur trim at the bottom.
Aunt Claray clapped. “Ye look like a princess.”
“A princess on the precipice of war.”
“Tis why the fabric is fine but there arna gold threads, yer mother used tae say she dinna want tae be ‘dressed for the prom but standing at a barbecue’.”
I chuckled.
She smiled. “I hae nae idea what it means, she told me once but I hae long forgotten. I do remember her sayin’ it though. She had a lovely laugh.”
“Where was she from?”
“A place called Florida. Hae ye been?”
“Oh, I used to go there in the summer on vacation.”
“I hae never gone, tis too dangerous. But I hae always wanted tae see it.”
Dude pushed the door open.
Aunt Claray’s eyes went wide. “Tis yer cat?”
He jumped up on the bed, and began licking a paw.
“Yep, his name is Dude.”
She patted her lap and he jumped right on it, trilling like a maniac while she petted him. “He looks like the cat of Alba!”
I turned back and forth in the mirror. I didn’t look like myself, I had never worn something so beautiful. Everything had such exquisite detail. “I just can’t believe I’m a princess, it seems like it’s not me at all.”