Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
C lara
I tossed a box out into the living room. It thunked against the hardwood loudly, echoing in the two-bedroom space.
I sighed. “We chose that specific hardwood together.”
“Don't get caught up in memories right now, Sissy.”
I glanced at Laura who was tossing books from the shelf into a bin.
“Why not? It's the perfect time to reflect,” I retorted. “At least Gabe isn't here to compound on all of it.”
“You always did deserve better.”
“I know. That's why I'm leaving.”
She shook her head. “But sometimes, I think your expectations are just too high, Clara.”
“How are they too high? Gabe and I were together for the longest time. Marriage was sure to follow. That's just how relationships work.”
“I mean, you're the older one. You would know better than me, right?”
My gaze softened. “Hey, I didn't mean any offense.”
“None taken,” she replied with a grin. “You're allowed to be angry and feel things. I completely empathize with that.”
“I really appreciate your help. I can't believe I have to move all this crap before Jen's wedding. It's so much all at once.”
“One thing at a time, Sissy.”
I hummed. “You're right. Did you get the clothes from the closet?”
“Not yet.”
“I'll start on those.”
“Do you have bags for them?”
I went into the kitchen and procured a few trash bags. “These should make transportation easier.”
“That works. Let me know what else you need.”
I dove into the bedroom, trying hard not to look at all the portraits sitting on the dresser. I wandered past them in favor of the closet. I ignored all of Gabe's fancy suits and dress clothes while searching for mine. I focused on the sequins, the bright colors, the blouses, and the dresses. Everything that appeared feminine was easy to catch.
But when I went for the slacks, I accidentally grabbed his.
Tears clouded my vision as I inhaled his familiar scent. “He must have worn these recently.”
“Don't get caught up, Clara.”
“They smell like his cologne.”
“So, toss them in the laundry basket. He'll wash them eventually.”
I shook my head, tossing the dark slacks away from me as if casting a cursed object from my body. “I bet he won't remember to do laundry.”
“You don't need to worry about that anymore. Now, you get to worry about my laundry.”
I smirked through my tears. “You're not nearly as lazy as he is.”
“I bet. But that won't stop me from asking you to do chores.”
“Does work keep you that busy?”
She shrugged while scooting a box across the floor to join the ones in the center of the living room. When she was done, she stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. “Most days, I'm pretty busy. That's why I've always been envious of your job.”
“I get busy, too.”
“But your job is fun.”
I laughed. “I bet you have fun at your job.”
“On a good day, sure.”
I went back to the closet to see that I had grabbed everything. There was a pink box on the top shelf decorated with flowers. As I reached for it, the doorbell rang.
I shot Laura a confused look. “Are those the guys?”
“I don't know. I didn't expect them this early. I'll go check.”
When she disappeared, I went back to packing. I tossed all of my clothes into the bags I had gathered and then hauled them into the living room. Laura had returned with our guest.
And it was Levon.
I stared at him.
He seemed like he hadn't aged since I last saw him. He had the same tan skin, appearing as golden as it had the summer we had broken up. His dark hair was short, as always, and his eyes were like dark pools attempting to suck me in. I felt vulnerable and soft until he cleared his throat.
And then I felt angry.
I frowned. “What are you doing here?”
“I was coming by to see Gabe.”
“I'm surprised you came back home.”
He chuckled lightly. “Well, Jen is getting married.”
“I'm surprised you even came back for that.”
He parted his lips to speak but nothing came out. His mouth opened and closed silently for a few seconds like a fish that was attempting to determine its surroundings.
He cleared his throat again. “Good to see you, too.”
“Well, Gabe isn't around, so . . .”
“Why not?”
“He's just not here right now. Can't you tell?”
Levon perked up, his eyes looking sharper than when he had walked in. “And why isn't he helping you? This looks like a daunting task for one person.”
I laughed. “You've been gone for years. Don't try to come back and fix everyone, okay?”
Laura lingered in the background. She looked like a kid lost in a grocery store. When she walked past me, she gave me her familiar concerned expression. I patted her shoulder to let her know I was fine.
When I turned back to Levon, he looked slightly hurt.
I sighed and softened my features. “Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bite.”
“I wouldn't expect less from you, Clara.”
I planted my hand on my hip. “It's been a really rough week. I didn't mean to blow up at you like that.”
“Apology accepted.”
I went quiet as I stared at the boxes in front of me. They seemed to be piling endlessly. The more I stared at them, the more my back ached.
I lowered my gaze to my feet. “Anyway, I should get back to moving.”
“I'm sorry to hear about what happened.”
“And what did you hear?”
I looked at him and he shrugged lightly. “I mean, I heard you two broke up.”
“Right.”
“Can I help you move some things?”
I shook my head. “No, I have some people coming along soon. I'll let Gabe know you dropped by.”
“I really don't mind helping. I worked on a farm while I was in Switzerland.”
“How nice for you.”
“I say that to let you know I don't mind heavy-lifting by any means.”
I nodded. “Again, that's kind of you to offer, but I think we've got this.”
“Of course. I just wanted to offer.”
“Thanks.”
A veil of silence fell between us. I could practically touch it—that's how palpable it felt between our shifting bodies. I looked him over again.
He's so much more handsome than years ago , I thought with guilt. But I hate seeing him. I hate that he's here. Why is he here now of all times?
“Well, I should get going,” Levon blurted. He ran a hand through his short black hair. “Just call me if you need more muscle, okay?”
“Sure thing.”
“Alright, take care.”
He lingered for a second before heading for the door. I followed after him and locked the bolt, inhaling the fading scent of his cologne. He was wearing my favorite: sage. It almost felt like a purposeful attack as if by wearing it he was reminding me of all the time we had spent together.
Well, that's old news. And old news dies with time.
I wandered back to the living room, planted myself on the ground, and dropped my head into my hands.
I groaned. “Why didn't anyone tell me Levon was back?”
“Didn't you expect him to come back?”
“No,” I growled over my shoulder. I squeezed my eyes shut and lowered my voice. “Sorry, Laura.”
“Don't sweat it, Clara. I can't even imagine how you feel.”
“I just want a drink.”
“Well, we can have one once you've finished moving. It'll be my treat.”
I perked up. “What kind of drink?”
“Your favorite.”
“A vodka cranberry with cherries?”
Laura wiggled her eyebrows at me. “You know it, Sissy.”
I giggled. “You're the best sister ever.”
“I mean, I wouldn't mind wearing that title around town.”
“And the proudest.”
She laughed. “Let's get more of this stuff ready. The guys should be here soon.”
“Who did you invite?”
“Definitely not Levon Milford.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, that's a relief. I don't think I can handle another awkward encounter.”
“What about the wedding?”
“We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
“I'm glad you have a more positive attitude about it.”
I huffed. “Yeah, for now.”
“Anyway, I've got John, Derrick, and Lane coming along soon. They'll be our main muscle.”
“Are they bringing a truck?”
“They sure are!”
I sighed with relief. “Good.”
“Hey, I don't know what's yours in here. Could you come help me sort this stuff?”
I rose from the ground. I still felt heavy with the weight of Levon's sudden appearance. It was one thing to deal with a break-up. It was another to deal with a break-up while my ex was in town. I labored from the living room to the bedroom with even more weight than I had anticipated.
Laura looked me over with that same gaze of concern. “You alright, Sissy?”
“I'll be okay. Thanks for asking, honey.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
I sniffled while glancing at the dresser. “Could you set those pictures down? They're haunting me right now.”
“Of course.”
She did the deed quickly and quietly, only returning to me when it was finished. She took my hand and squeezed it with warm reassurance.
“Thanks,” I whispered. “I have more shoes in the closet. Could you help me with those?”
“Sure can.”
As we piled my shoes into a new bin, I reflected on my world. It was changing so fast. I could feel it in the wind whenever I stepped outside for a bit of fresh air. Checotah had always been a home to me and I would always be fond of the way the flowers bloomed and faded with the seasons. I loved the land and how it felt comforting beneath my feet. I loved the warmth of the sun.
I focused on that, honing in on my inner source of strength.
I took a breath. “Gabe and I have been through so much.”
“You'll have new things to look forward to. You'll make new memories.”
“Yes,” I whispered. “But these will be painful for a while.”
I held up a tattered tennis shoe.
“One of my co-workers always told me that time heals all wounds,” she assured. “And I think, in this case, that will be true.”
“I hope it works quickly.”
“Give it a few weeks. See how you feel.”
“At least Gabe won't be around for it.”
She nodded. “Is he leaving after the wedding?”
“I'm not sure, but he will eventually leave.”
“You have that to look forward to.”
“I do.”
I silently gathered a few more items and then grabbed the lid for the bin. I fixed the lid on top of the bin and patted it gently, standing upright.
“Alright, just a few more boxes to go,” I stated calmly. “Let's tackle the furniture whenever the guys get here.”
“What furniture are you taking?”
“Well, he said I could have the lounge and the coffee table.”
“That was generous of him.”
“I did pick them out, so yes. That was kind of him.”
She laughed. “At least you'll already have a bed at my house.”
“Good thing, too. I don't think I would want to take that mattress with me.”
She patted my shoulder. “Remember—time.”
“Right. I'll keep focusing on that.”
I nodded and went back to gathering bins and boxes, piling them in the living room. Soon, the doorbell rang and there were three men wandering around, grabbing boxes and hoisting them like they were nothing. Watching them work had me thinking that I almost regretted telling Levon to leave.
Almost—but not quite.