Chapter 31
CHAPTER 31
L evon
I roused easily from my slumber, blinking the sleep away from my eyes to observe the ceiling. I found the ceiling bare. When I realized I wasn't in my room, I searched the sheets, sitting up slightly to see if Clara was still next to me.
I witnessed her snoozing peacefully next to me and relaxed back against the pillow.
Good. She didn't leave.
I smiled warmly at her serene features. Her black curls were laying in a messy heap around her shoulders and her shoulders were bare. We had fallen asleep without any clothes on. The thought made me smile as I observed her every beautiful feature, impressing the picture of her in my mind. I needed to update that picture.
Even though I knew her every inch, I still felt like I needed to make sure I held onto this picture forever. We wouldn't part—not in a million years—but the fear still lingered in my gut.
What if she changes her mind?
I frowned at the thought and chased it away with a gentle stretch. Once I was relaxed again, I turned on my side. I rested my hand on her hip, watching as the sheet rose with her chest to match her steady breathing pattern.
I simply couldn't get enough of her. After a few minutes, I rolled to my back and reached for the remote on the nightstand. I turned on the television and lowered the volume to a comfortable level, flipping through channels. I located the news and paused to imbibe the featured titles of the day.
It was incredible how comfortable I felt in her house. I was nude in her bed with my feet hanging out from beneath the sheets. My arms were behind me. I hadn't a care in the world. And I don't think it was the house that was making me feel that way.
It was her.
As the news droned on, my eyelids grew heavy. I shook myself awake and realized I had dozed slightly. I turned to see Clara rustling under the sheets. Her eyelids fluttered. As she opened her eyes, I watched as a smile crossed her lips and lit up her face.
“Good morning, gorgeous,” I whispered. “How did you sleep?”
“So well.”
“I'm glad.”
She hummed as she stretched. “How long have you been awake?”
“Oh, I don't know. Maybe thirty minutes. I've been watching TV.”
“Anything good?”
I laughed. “Not as good as watching you.”
“Ew, that was gross.”
I chuckled as I leaned in to kiss her cheek. She turned to meet my lips, making me smile even wider. I kissed her for a while before leaning back against the headboard. I rested my arm behind my head, lounging in the same position I had while I was napping.
She rested her hand on my chest. I looked at her nails, noticing how shiny they appeared in the morning light. They were painted purple—her favorite color.
I huffed with amusement. “Some things never change.”
“What?”
“Your nails.”
She held them up. “Hey, you like it when I wear purple.”
“I sure do.”
“So, what was that complaint for?”
I laughed. “I was just making an observation.”
She sat up in the bed, holding the sheets to her chest. “Is something on your mind? You look like you've been thinking.”
“I haven't been thinking that much.”
She tapped my forehead. “So, those worry lines are just from age, huh?”
“You're adorable.”
“And so are you.”
I sighed. “I guess I have been thinking.”
“About what? You can tell me anything. I won't be upset.”
“Are you sure? I remember the last time you said that.”
She giggled. “Wasn't that years ago?”
“Sure was.”
“Well, things can change.”
I nodded. “I think we've both changed a little bit.”
“I promise I won't be upset. I want you to be able to talk to me. We should feel comfortable doing that.”
“I think you're right.”
She smiled warmly and rested her head on my shoulder, returning her hand to my chest. “So, lay it on me, tiger.”
“I've been wondering if you would have stayed with Gabe if he hadn't decided to take his job to New York.”
She sighed.
The sound of it alerted my nerves. I prickled with nervous energy, wondering what she was about to say. I wanted to know her true thoughts and feelings. I didn't want her to hold back.
But I was afraid I wouldn't like the answer.
“Honestly, I always had doubts about that relationship. When Gabe took that job in New York, it just confirmed that we weren't meant to be.”
“That makes sense.”
“It wouldn't have worked out. He would have been too far away and I would have gotten frustrated with the distance. I never want to move.”
I hugged her close. “I know.”
“And that sealed the deal for me. I didn't even want to try to compromise. Do you think that makes me awful?”
“No, I think that just makes you firm. Sometimes, it just doesn't work. I mean,” I swallowed hard. “Look how we ended up. I did the same thing.”
“But you were different. You were traveling. And your job required it. Gabe could have stayed here if he wanted us to work.”
“What if I hadn't come back to town?”
She went quiet for a moment. Her fingers began tracing circles in and around my chest hair. She used to do that when we were younger and it transported me temporarily back to the bed of my truck. I smiled as I buried my nose into her hair.
“I think if you hadn't come back, I might have taken Gabe back when he tried to patch things up. We were such good friends and we had invested so much time in our relationship.”
“We did, too.”
She hummed in agreement. “You're right. We did.”
“But I guess I never tried to come back and fix things.”
“No, you stayed in Europe. Pretty much forever.”
“I was running.”
She squeezed me. “I know, sweetie.”
“I didn't mean to run. I was afraid of what you would do if I did try to come back. And believe me, I considered it about a million times.”
“Why didn't you try?”
I shrugged. “The fear kept me away. I knew you would want to get your life moving forward and get your business going. I didn't want to impose.”
I sank in the sheets. Maybe she felt it or maybe she didn't. But I felt like I was melting away from her. Hearing about Gabe made me jealous and slightly defensive. It seemed like he had tried so much harder than me to make things work. He and I were a lot alike—and we were friends for that reason—but he didn't know Clara like I did. Clara and I had been hooked forever.
Until we weren't.
I sighed. “I'm sorry I asked. I just wanted to know.”
“Don't be sorry. I think it's important we talk about these things.”
“I'm grateful that you told me the truth.”
“Are you?”
I chuckled. “Do I seem like I'm lying?”
“I just know you. I know how you get when other people are in the equation.”
“Well, this is new for us. I mean, I haven't dated anyone except you. I might have had a fling or two overseas, but it was nothing. It wasn't like this.” I tangled my fingers with hers. “It wasn't like you.”
She kissed my shoulder and I felt a smile on her lips. “Well, that's very sweet.”
“It's something.”
“I think it just goes to show how we're meant to be together.”
“It took me forever to figure it out.”
“Well,” she sighed. “That makes two of us.”
I hugged her tight. “Those years of memories with Gabe should have been with me, but I completely blew it. I blew you off.”
She ran her fingers through my hair and massaged my scalp. I surrendered instantly. I loved the way her nails felt against my head. I wanted to fall right into her and stay there eternally.
“You can't think about that,” she whispered. “Because you have me now.”
I pressed my cheek to hers. I felt her breathe and felt her shiver. I admired the way she dragged her nails down the back of my head and along my neck. Her loving embrace held me in place, keeping me from pulling away or running. And I didn't want to run. I didn't want to fall away from her like I had before.
Every touch and kiss affirmed that she meant what she said. I found my lips trailing along her jawline, decorating each inch of her I could discover. The familiarity of her skin on mine brought me splendor. I wanted to retain it for as long as possible.
“You're shaking,” I whispered as I dragged my lips up to her chin. “Why's that?”
“I'm cold.”
I wrapped her in a hug. “Let me help.”
She giggled as I tugged the sheets over her and kept her close. We warmed up quickly, growing hot under the sheets. I buried my face in her neck and let me lips dance across her skin, decorating her as I would have long ago.
“You're right,” I whispered to her skin. “I do have you now.”
“And it will stay that way for as long as possible.”
“Forever?”
She hummed. “I mean, I'll consider it.”
I laughed and shook my head. “You're ridiculous, Clara.”
“And I guess that makes you ridiculous, too.”
“Why?”
“Because you like me.”
I chuckled and pressed my forehead to hers. “I don't like you.”
She gasped. “What?”
“I love you.”
Her shocked features faded into a loving glance. She bit her lower lip, trailing her fingers over my scalp all over again. She held me close and held me tight while she released a contented sigh, the sheets rising with every breath she took.
She licked her lips. “I love you, too.”
I kissed her. I couldn't help myself. The sound of her affection made me wild for her touch, for her body, and for her lips. I wanted her lips especially. I wanted to coat them with mine, to layer them with the fondness I felt for her. I wanted to show her every single way she made me feel.
And I couldn't find a way other than to have my lips dance with hers.
She hummed into our embrace. Her lips vibrated mine and my eyes rolled back as ecstasy took hold. Her fingers traveled from my head to my shoulders and subsequently to my waist. She wrapped her arms around me and tugged me close. I leaned into her, unwilling to allow any pocket of cold air to exist between us.
I broke our kiss to whisper, “I never want to be away from you ever again.”
She grinned. “So, let's make sure that doesn't happen.”
I nuzzled her nose with my nose and then lingered around her lips, teasing her with my mouth. She parted her lips wider and allowed my tongue to plunge inside. I found her warmth inviting. Every reaction she had to me prompted another action, another touch, another playful lap of my tongue. I dove south and decorated her breasts while delicately holding them.
I touched her as reverently as I might an ancient artifact. She was much more precious than that, more valuable than gold. She was everything to me and I knew now that I was everything to her. We would never part as long as we held these feelings tight. We would thrive with these simple facts, with our simple love and our affection.
And I couldn't wait to see what the future would hold for us.
“Are you sure you can stand to be around me for very long?” I teased as I dragged my mouth up to her neck. “After all, I can be silly.”
“I like you this way.” She cupped my face. “I like you every way.”
“I feel much the same, my love.”
And when I kissed her, I swear I could feel infinity stretch before us.