Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
C orinne. Wednesday
For the first time, I was invited upstairs.
It wasn’t as special as it sounds. Everyone was invited upstairs. The company was having a big meeting for all Human Resources and Customer Service team members, and that included me. There were a few conference rooms on the top floor, and everyone was gathered into the biggest one, where there were long tables, with chairs both there and along the walls, and a big whiteboard and drop-down video screen at the front. The room was packed.
My eyes went right to Elijah at the front of the room and lingered on him. He wasn’t the only good-looking man in the room, but he was without question the best- looking man present. I couldn’t help thinking that if you had to have a job, Elijah Bennett was the kind of boss you wanted.
One of the other interns, a curly-haired guy named Steven, leaned over and whispered to me, “Gosh, that Elijah is nice on the eyes, isn’t he?”
I smiled and nodded in agreement while keeping my eyes on Elijah. The uninvited memory of how I’d shushed him the first time I saw him came into my mind, and I softly laughed at how nice he had been about it.
It wasn’t the most eventful meeting. It was mostly a way for the owners to introduce themselves properly to new people like me and for new people like me to be seen by those who hadn’t met us yet. There was a part when those of us who were new stood up and said our names and where in the company we worked, which was one of those awkward little moments.
Elijah and Leo talked a little bit about the history and culture of the company, which people who had been there for a while must already have known, but was enlightening for me. I learned that Elijah was the “business” end of the company and Leo was more the “creative” side; that is, he was the one with the expertise in coding, programming, and systems design. Their strengths complemented each other.
I also learned that Leo was married to Elijah’s sister, a personal tidbit I would not have picked up outside the context of a meeting like that. I found it interesting that the two bosses were brothers-in-law. It was kind of a family business.
After the meeting, Elijah and Leo called a collective coffee break. Everyone helped themselves to the hot drinks at the side of the room. I got myself a cup of coffee and was chatting with some other employees when a familiar voice over my shoulder asked, “Excuse me, am I interrupting this time?”
I looked over at Elijah. Once again, I flashed on that moment downstairs when I spoke without thinking and discovered I was speaking to the boss, and I reacted with a small laugh as sheepish as my smile.
“No,” I said, almost not wanting to look him in the eye, “you’re not interrupting.” I didn’t want him to see how embarrassed I still was about the first time we met. He didn’t seem to mind, but it really wasn’t what you want your boss’s first memory of you to be.
“I hope you didn’t find the meeting too dull. These things are always in danger of getting a little stuffy, and I don’t want this to be that kind of office. That is, I want us to be efficient and get things done — time is money, and all that — but for the amount of your life that your job takes up, it shouldn’t put you to sleep, at least.”
His attitude towards work culture was a refreshing surprise. Not that I was a veteran of the working world by any means, but I’d heard about so many workplaces where bosses didn’t care how stuffy it was — they cared only about how much profit was being made on a daily basis. Elijah sounded as if he wanted to run a more “human” kind of organization. It was another thing I liked about him.
“You’re right,” I said. “You spend so much of your life working, there’s nothing wrong with it being…” I shrugged, not so relaxed that nothing gets done, but, well…not stuffy.”
“Exactly,” said Elijah, with the most adorable smile. I tingled a bit at that last thought and hoped I wasn’t blushing. I probably shouldn’t be thinking of my boss as adorable, even if he was.
Next thing I knew, Leo was there, eyeing Elijah and me in a curious sort of way that made me wonder if he thought something was going on. With both my bosses now in front of me, I hardly noticed that the other people that I’d been talking to had moved away.
“So…Corinne, right?” Leo addressed me.
“Yes,” I said. “Corinne Gordon.”
“This is what, your third time meeting Elijah now?”
Perplexed, I blinked at the question. “Third? Oh no, we have only met once.”
Leo seemed confused. “But, I thought you went down there earlier this week,” he said to Elijah.
That made me more puzzled than ever. I looked back and forth between them. “You did? I don’t remember seeing you again until this meeting just now.”
He gave a strange little laugh and replied, “I was going to stop down there again, yes, but something else came up, so I never made it.”
With an odd, but not unpleasant little frown, Leo said to him, “You mean that other meeting we had? Because you said you were taking a quick trip down to the Call Center before that meeting.”
“Well, I changed my mind and just went straight to the meeting instead, that’s all,” said Elijah, sounding strangely defensive.
“Oh. Okay, whatever,” said Leo, and that seemed to be the end of it, because they went from there to other subjects.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but there was a peculiar vibe at that moment, and it seemed to be coming from Elijah. What could it be — and should I be concerned about it? I wondered.
_______________
After work, another trip to buy groceries made me wonder at what a small world Cincinnati seemed to be, for a big city.
I was rolling my cart out from the cereal aisle and approaching the meat aisle, and once again found a surprise there. Inspecting the beef this time was not Ben the fitness trainer, but his favorite client.
He looked up from the humongous chuck steak he was tossing into his cart, which no doubt cost only pocket change to someone like him, and caught sight of me. He flashed me a surprised smile and called, “Hello, Corinne!”
A lot of the time, small talk is awkward and something a lot of people prefer to avoid. It was a feeling I understood, but I didn’t seem to mind it with Elijah. I wheeled my cart over to join him, basking in his smile as I approached.
“Are you surprised to see your boss doing a mundane thing like buying his own groceries?” he asked playfully.
“Not really,” I said. “Everyone has to eat.”
“True enough,” he said. We started to go down the meat aisle together as he explained, “I have people who come in and clean my apartment, and I have a service where I send all my laundry. And, my dry cleaning, of course. But, I’m very particular about my food and my clothes. I’m very hands-on in those two areas. Which is what brings me here. My fitness trainer recommended this store.”
My attention perked up. “Oh,” I said, “you mean Ben.”
He was facing front until I said that. He whipped his head around at me and said with wide eyes, “You know Ben?”
Chuckling, I said, “Believe it or not, he was the first person I met in Cincinnati. Ben and I seem to be neighbors; I see him here sometimes. I think he lives in the nicer apartment complex on my block.”
“Huh! How about that?” Elijah said. “Does it seem sometimes like the universe draws circles around us and all the people in our lives, you know, kind of like a Venn diagram where all the people we know are in intersecting circles?”
“I never thought of it that way,” I said, intrigued at the idea.
“Can’t help it,” he said. “A habit I picked up in business, thinking about things in graphs and charts. I’m only surprised that all my acquaintances aren’t on some big spreadsheet in my head.”
That made me laugh. He was actually even more interesting out of the office. I was starting to see Elijah as a whole person — not that seeing him as a gorgeous guy was that bad.
“Ben is a hell of a great guy,” Elijah went on. “Not only a great trainer, but the best friend I’ve ever had. He’s not only helped me stay in shape, he’s been great for helping me with my focus and keeping my head in the right place. If I’m really honest, part of my success in business is Ben’s doing.”
“Ben and Leo,” I guessed.
“Yes, Ben and Leo,” he agreed. “Speaking of the people in our lives, do you know anyone else in Cincinnati besides Ben? Do you have any family here?”
“No, it’s just me,” I said. “My father and my sister live back in Youngstown, where it was just us after we lost my mother.”
“I’m sorry,” said Elijah.
“It was hard, going on without her,” I said. “And then…well, after a loss like that, your whole world looks and feels different. I thought maybe it was time for something different in my life. So I kind of screwed up my courage and came here.”
“Well, I’m very glad you screwed up your courage,” he said, looking over at me sincerely. “If I can get away with saying this within our relationship of boss and employee, courage is a good look on you.”
I was surprised I could walk at that moment, since my toes were curling to match the smile curling my lips. To hear a thing like that from the person I worked for, who looked like that and was so… nice…
We reached the end of the meat aisle and arrived at the produce section. That was when my next surprise came in a day that seemed to be made for them.
“Listen,” he said, “tomorrow after work, I’m going over to Ben’s gym. It’s arms and chest day. Would you like to join me?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. I creased my lips and rolled my eyes in a very intimidated sort of reaction. “I…don’t know,” I hemmed and hawed a bit. “It might be arms and chest day for you, but for me, it would be Never Set Foot in a Gym in My Life day. I’m not what you’d call in good shape.”
Elijah actually looked me up and down — not in that pervy way that a guy gropes with his eyes, but more in that way that someone does when assessing and evaluating the material in front of him. Frankly, it gave me a funny feeling anyway, like the feeling when you hope someone approves of what he’s looking at.
Thoughtfully, he said, “I see nothing wrong with the shape you’re in. You’re not overweight — no fat, no flab. You’re still at that age where your metabolism is working for you, instead of against you. Ah, you’re fine. My invitation stands. Come and meet me at Ben’s after work. He’ll be glad to see you. Did he give you the address?”
“Yes, he gave me his card,” I said.
“So, come and join me. I’ll have Ben show you some low-impact things. Your first visit to Diamond’s is free, you know.”
“You’re a good salesman.” I grinned.
“Obviously.” He grinned back, referring to his billion-dollar assets, which were not even really the nicest assets he had. “So…are we on?”
“We’re on,” I said, my smile widening, already enjoying just the thought of visiting Diamond’s Gym with him.
“Great,” he said. “Well, I’ve got everything I need. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon if I don’t run into you at work.”
“Okay,” I said. “Bye.”
He nodded goodbye and headed off down the aisle. As I watched his back retreating, I could see that he had “everything he needed” — and then some. Elijah Bennett had not only everything he needed, but everything a girl needs. Not to mention some guys I knew.
When he disappeared towards the front of the store where the checkouts were, my thoughts turned in another direction, as well. Elijah did have everything a girl needed. In fact, Elijah happened to have not only everything that he needed, but also everything that I had still never had.
I know how backward and provincial it must sound to some people, but I’m a pastor’s daughter. My parents were what people would think of as being “enlightened” about some things in life. They weren’t bigots; they weren’t racists. They believed in education, and they believed a woman could become whatever she wanted to be. But, they still held to the old idea that the best place and time for sex is after you’re married.
They believed that marriage should be about love and not what body parts two people have, meaning they were okay with a man and a woman or two men or two women; it’s the love that counts. “It always comes back to love,” Daddy would always say, something he repeated when he spoke at Mom’s memorial service.
But still, Mom and Daddy honestly believed that the love of two bodies comes after you join two lives as a married couple. And, that is what they taught Leanna and me. They told us they understood that we’re living in today’s world with modern ideas, and one generation can’t necessarily be expected to live exactly the way their parents and grandparents did. “Young minds have young ideas,” as Daddy put it. But it was the way my parents had lived, and they’d gotten a beautiful family out of it. They didn’t demand we live our lives the same way they lived theirs. But, they pointed out that the sacrifice of early pleasure had paid off for them and suggested that it would pay off for us. And they maintained that no matter what we did, even if we didn’t wait and we got hurt, they would love us just the same.
Mom and Dad also pointed out that they were okay with birth control, with an implied “ hint, hint ” after it.
I took my parents’ heartfelt advice — “ If you can’t be patient, at least be careful ” — to heart and decided I would wait for sex at least until I knew it was absolutely right, if not for marriage.
And then, came Blake. Oh my God…Blake.
He was the guy that your parents want you to marry: clean-cut, good-looking, sharply dressed, and gainfully employed with a bright future. He was the local assistant head of Human Resources for a department store chain, a candidate for regional promotions, and possibly even promotion to the main corporate offices in time. Blake knew what he had going for him; he knew how to work his looks, his charm, and his prospects. My parents adored him almost as much as I did. And, with Blake…I’d actually considered it.
I didn’t go into the relationship blindly. I knew Blake had a past that was not chaste and celibate. He’d shared beds with a few women before he met me. He was an experienced guy. He had needs and expectations.
He made it very clear that he would rather not postpone it. And, I made it very clear that I wanted a future with him — a whole future that was about more than just what we did in bed. As long as I could see us having a future, I’d said, there was no rush. That frustrated Blake a bit, but it was mostly out of respect for my parents that he chose to respect my feelings and accept my wishes.
Blake told me once, “I don’t want to break up over this because what we have is too good and you’re too beautiful and too special. If you really want to wait… I’ll tough it out and we’ll stay together.” And then, he added, “But, Addie, when you decide you are ready, I’ll take you right to bed and show you what fucking is. And, I’ll make it so good, you’ll wish you hadn’t waited.”
I took that as something definitely to look forward to. Blake and I did everything but take our clothes off over the course of our relationship. I wouldn’t say there weren’t some temptations and some close calls. A guy can do a lot, even fully dressed.
There were times when his hands on my bosom and my bottom, over my top and slacks, got me really excited. There were times when I’d feel something really big and hard in his khakis, which would get me even more excited. There were even times when he would go for his belt buckle to let loose what was so big and hard, and I’d feel myself come right to the brink…and I’d pull back and take a deep breath. The effect would be like suddenly breaking a spell. I’d be afraid the magic would go away, but it didn’t. Blake would apologize, and we’d continue with his pants still up.
As long as Blake was willing to wait with me, I was fine. But when a girl sees a future and thinks she knows what that future is going to be, she wants it to happen.
After a while, I started talking about that final commitment that would take us where I knew Blake most wanted us to go. I wanted his ring on my finger. If I could just have that, I’d be ready to accept everything he was offering me. So many times, I’d thought about having Blake’s dick inside me. So many times, I’d wanted to let him show me what it was all about, just as he’d promised. But first, I wanted the promise of his ring.
That, however, was a promise Blake was not prepared to make. And, that was what had brought our relationship to an end.
Every time I saw Blake after that, he’d try to convince me to give us another chance. But unlike all those times I’d backed out of sex, this time, the spell really was broken. The magic was gone. Knowing the future with him would never be what I wanted had taken all the enchantment away. Or, perhaps I’d just plain grown up a little.
It seemed as if Blake wanted to go “all the way” to bed, but not “all the way” into the rest of our lives the way that I saw them, but if he couldn’t have me, he didn’t want anyone else to have me, either. I couldn’t stay in limbo for him, and ultimately, I found I didn’t want to stay in Youngstown with him, either.
That was what brought me to Cincinnati, starting a new job and a new life — where I seemed to be starting to have the kind of thoughts about my excruciatingly hot new boss that I’d had about my ex-boyfriend. What in Heaven’s name was I going to do about that?