Chapter 30
CHAPTER 30
C orinne. Saturday
I found Kathleen behind the counter of her coffee shop, right where she was when I first saw her and didn’t have any idea who she was.
At first, I debated even going to Kathleen’s coffee shop. There were any number of other cafes and eateries in Cincinnati where I could have gone, including that little gourmet sandwich shop where Kane accosted Elijah and me. (And that one, I firmly decided, was not an option.)
I actually began by driving around the block, weighing the choice of whether or not to park and go in. Being that it was Saturday, she might not even be working. There might be some other barista who worked for her behind the counter. I might not even see her at all.
Finally, I called an end to the little dance of Should I and Might not in my head, pulled the car into a parking space, and went inside. Sure enough, there she was, looking every bit as glamorously out-of-place as I remembered her. She must have opened the place out of pure love. However, Kathleen was the boss and I had to respect her for her decision to go into business for herself.
I also had a grudging and jealous sort of respect for her as my predecessor in Elijah’s bed. Walking up to the counter, I worked hard to separate Kathleen from the things the two of them must have done to each other in Elijah’s bedroom, which he and I had so breathlessly done. Having those blazing images in my mind would only make this more awkward, and it felt awkward enough already.
There weren’t many people there, and no one else was at the counter but the boss. There was a fair chance that I’d have Kathleen’s undivided attention.
I walked up to the counter and she greeted me with her usual pin-up-girl smile. Whether that meant she recognized me or she was just giving me her standard greeting, I didn’t know and didn’t really care. I’d probably jog her memory in the next few minutes.
“Hi, Kathleen?” I began.
Her eyes twinkled at me. “Yes?”
“Um…I really love your place here and what you’ve done with it. You might not remember me, but we have something in common.”
“You do look a bit familiar,” she said. “There are three kinds of people who come in here that I remember. The regulars that I see all the time, the attractive men, and the pretty women.”
I couldn’t help smiling a bit at that one. Did that mean she instinctively saw all the pretty women customers as competition for the attractive men? What would that mean for the conversation that I meant to have with her? I would soon find out, wouldn’t I?
She continued, “I think I can place your face, but I can’t guess what we might have in common. Are you another cafe owner?”
Taking a deep breath, I said, “No. Um…I’m Elijah Bennett’s girlfriend.”
She blinked at that one. Of all the things I could have told her, no doubt this was the thing for which she was least prepared. “Oh,” she said, slightly flustered. “I see. Elijah…”
“Yep. Elijah.”
“You’re his new…”
“Well, I guess I should say I think I might be his new. We seem to have some things to work out, and he mentioned that you were his…previous. I was hoping we might have a chance to have a word. That is, if you don’t mind.”
She glanced around the shop and looked past me at the front door. “Well, my traffic seems to be a bit light at the moment; I think there’s a game somewhere in town today that’s getting most of the business. Let’s have a seat.”
We went to an empty table and sat down together as if we were just a couple of customers. Once we were seated, I told her the whole story about Elijah and me — leaving out the sexy details that she could certainly fill in for herself — and she showed me a mix of reactions ranging from sympathy to dismay to alarm to sadness. She positively squirmed when I got to the part about the drugged-up Kane coming to Elijah’s building, wanting what he wanted from me. And, she looked fit to cry at the story of Elijah breaking it off because of my fears and doubts. All in all, Kathleen’s heart seemed to go out to me, and her reaction suggested an air of Been there, done that.
At the end of my story, Kathleen folded her hands on the table and quietly composed herself. Then, for the first time since I started talking, she spoke.
“In case you’re wondering,” she said, “I am not jealous. I broke things off with Elijah myself and I’ve had no regrets about it. But, ah…Corinne, is it? Corinne, I totally understand what you’ve been through. And, I totally understand why you would come to me about this. You and I are both Elijah Bennett veterans, I suppose. Though your little ‘tour’ with him hasn’t been as long as mine was.”
“No…no, it hasn’t,” I said, intrigued with her little metaphor about being with Elijah as having been “through the wars,” so to speak.
“What do you need from me?” she asked.
“That’s kind of an interesting question,” I replied. “I’m not completely sure. I think I just wanted to talk to someone who’d been through a relationship with him and come out the other side okay. You are okay…” I put that last part as a question as much as a statement.
“I’m very okay,” said Kathleen.
I said, “Maybe I just wanted some reassurance that I’d be okay, too.”
“Are you going to keep seeing him?”
“He says he’s a new person,” I said. “And… I think I believe him.”
“Then, you have more faith than I had,” she admitted. “He insisted to me, pleaded with me, that he was a new person. But, all I could see was who he was, and how I didn’t want any of his past coming in my present. I couldn’t trust that what happened to you wouldn’t happen to me. Maybe I should have given him more of a chance. But at the time, I couldn’t.”
“I get that,” I said. Her mention of “faith” had hit a strong personal chord with me, though she couldn’t know it. I was raised, after all, by a man of faith, and while I was never what I’d call provincial or dogmatic, there had always been some degree of faith in my life. I’d always believed in the possibility of something better, which must have been the reason I was willing to talk to Elijah again and why I was so interested in talking to Kathleen now.
Remembering any number of Daddy’s sermons and the things he’d talked about to his congregation, I said, “Forgiveness can be hard sometimes. Really, really hard.”
“You seem to be more able to look past Elijah’s old life than I was,” said Kathleen. “I respect you for that. I do believe he’s a better man now. Looking back, I remember what a really great guy I thought he was until I found out about his past. Having walked away from him, I see things more clearly. Honestly, I accept that I gave him up and he’s moved on, and I wish him well.” She gave me one of her Price is Right smiles and said, “I wish you well, too.”
It was such an honest, sincere, compassionate… decent …kind of moment. And, it was hardly the kind of scene you’d expect to go on between two women who had an incredibly desirable man in common. The whole thing, though, made me glad that I’d gotten off the fence and come in to talk to Kathleen. I felt no jealousy at all, nor did she for me. I actually liked her.
“How about a cup of your fantastic coffee before I go?” I suggested.
“Come on back up front,” she said. As we got up together and headed back for the counter, Kathleen noted, “Most women wouldn’t want to talk to the ex-girlfriend of the man they’re interested in.”
“Well, I’m new in town,” I pointed out, “and you and I are really pretty much of a clean slate.”
She smiled and laughed a little laugh, agreeing with me.
_______________
I was back at the apartment watching TV when Elijah called. I told him about my day. From his reaction, it was the last thing he ever expected to hear, which I guess was only natural.
The stunned surprise came through in his voice. “You talked to Kathleen? So that’s what that was about…”
As unprepared for that as Elijah was for my news, I said, “That’s what what was about?”
“She called me today.”
Eyes widening, I said, “She did? ”
“She did. Kathleen called, out of the blue, or so I thought. And, she apologized to me. She said she was sorry she could never forgive my past, and she wished me all the best for my future. And, she meant it. So, that’s what that was about. She’d been talking to you.” He paused. “Wow, Corinne. Most women would never go to a guy’s ex-girlfriend that way.”
“That’s what Kathleen said, too,” I recalled. Apparently, I was not what you’d call “most women.”
“You know, I tried my damnedest to help her get over my old life and see past it. How did you pull that off where I couldn’t?”
I laughed a little laugh that covered up my guilt for all the things I still had yet to tell him and just said, “You’re not the only one with things about them that the other doesn’t know.” I then added, “Am I safe in assuming now that Kathleen is another part of your past that you’re not going back to?”
“Yeah, Kathleen and I are not getting a do-over,” said Elijah. “I’ll admit that I tried to start it up with her again a while ago, but she wasn’t having it. We’ve both moved on, and good for both of us.”
I laughed again and said, “Then, you might have to worry about Kathleen and me getting to be friends some day.”
From the tone of his voice, I could sense Elijah was shaking his head. “Corinne,” he said, “you are something else.”