Chapter 2
Darcy looked across the table absently. He heard his aunt talking but the words did not pierce his consciousness.
“Thank God I convinced you to do the right thing,” Lady Catherine said. “You have behaved like a savage lately, Darcy! One cannot neglect his duties and his responsibilities to this family so completely.”
“Catherine, this discussion is useless now. You have had your way and Darcy has indulged you. We shall all attend the ball as we agreed,” Lord Matlock interjected. He looked around the table, where his wife and two sons were also seated with Georgiana and Anne.
“Yes, but I had to argue with him for days! This is the first time Anne has been in town, and she feels well enough to enjoy a party. God knows when she will be in such a good disposition again. We must not refuse her this little pleasure,” Lady Catherine continued.
Anne paled with embarrassment. “Mama, nobody must do anything for me. You know I much prefer to avoid the bustle of town. Nothing pleases me more than a lovely, peaceful day with the family. Perhaps with Georgiana playing for us.” She smiled at her cousin, who returned a tender gaze.
“Well, you behave like a savage too, but I am to blame for that by keeping you away from society almost your entire life,” Lady Catherine said.
“I did it for your own good, of course. But this is the result. You know nobody in London and nobody knows you! It is important to be valued and known among our acquaintances! We have a name and a position to maintain! Lady Kendal has also been absent from town almost entirely for more than five years now. And still the ton will flock to her private ball. She has invited everyone of consequence, and I doubt anyone has declined.”
“We have already discussed this, Aunt Catherine,” Darcy said absently. He was trying to be more cheerful, as he had noticed Anne and Georgiana were both worried for him, as well as Lady Matlock.
“We talk and talk but with no result,” Lady Catherine continued.
“Last year, I allowed myself to be convinced to let Anne spend more time with you. I kept travelling to see my daughter, who turned out to be stubborn, ignoring that which is for her own good. I understand that she wishes to see more of the world, I understand you brought her all kinds of doctors, I can see she has improved lately. But nothing else is happening, Darcy. Nothing has been announced about your engagement, and I have heard no news about a wedding date! People talk and wonder. Everybody expects this marriage to finally occur!”
“Catherine, this is the most inappropriate moment for such a discussion! You lack diplomacy entirely. I am sure both Darcy and Anne know what they have to do,” Lady Matlock interrupted her, and the earl nodded in agreement.
“Well, I must take any chance I can get, since I scarcely see Darcy at all,” Lady Catherine continued furiously.
“So, would you rather stay at home and discuss the matter, Aunt?” Darcy enquired with restrained anger. “I would not oppose such a decision.”
“Of course you would not oppose it! You would gladly waste this unique opportunity to be seen in the civilised world,” Lady Catherine raged. “We shall leave for the ball this instant!”
“Well, I am glad we are agreed upon that,” Lord Matlock said conciliatorily.
“I wonder why Lady Kendal is having a ball now. She must be in her late sixties,” Lady Matlock said. “I do not remember her being fond of parties even when she was younger.”
“Indeed, I have not heard of her presence in town until this Season,” Lord Matlock said.
“What I do know of, and it is often mentioned in the ladies’ gazettes, are her charitable causes. She is known to be a generous philanthropist. Consequently, she is very popular. I heard that the King invited her to the palace and mentioned her merits.”
“Yes, I am aware of that. I recollect her daughter and son-in-law passed away quite a few years ago. I am not sure if they were ill or whether it was a tragic accident. She does not have any family left, does she?”
“Only one grandson, Philip Russell, the Earl of Alveston. Nobody else. Thus, she has so much time for charity. But I doubt he will attend the ball,” Lady Catherine said. “In fact, I doubt he is in town at all. Nobody knows what has become of him.”
“It must be such a tragedy to lose your entire family,” Anne said.
“And even worse to have a single heir who is more of a burden and so unworthy of such an enormous legacy. The Kendals and the Russells have splendid fortunes,” Lady Catherine declared.
“Lady Kendal’s fortune is not our concern,” Darcy interjected sharply, bothered by his aunt’s lack of sensitivity. Both Georgiana and Anne looked distressed, so he continued even more coldly, “And it is not for us to judge any heir’s worthiness.”
“I may judge whomever I want,” Lady Catherine said.
“Of course you may.” Lord Matlock rolled his eyes. “So, are we going or not?”
“We are going, of course! We care little about the reason for the ball, but we cannot afford to miss it, regardless,” Lady Catherine said.
“Very well then, we should go now. If we must be there, let us at least be on time so we can leave promptly,” Darcy said, attempting to calm their spirits. But he failed.
“This is ridiculous,” Lady Catherine cried. “We have not even arrived, and you are already speaking of leaving? This is preposterous. You are quite disrespectful to us, you know!”
“I apologise if I sounded that way. It was not my intention. As far as I remember, neither you nor Anne, and certainly not Georgiana or me, are fond of parties and balls. Of course, we shall stay as long as you ladies wish.” Darcy altered his tone.
He knew how unfair it was that his low spirits were affecting his relatives.
The carriages were waiting in front of the house. Although it was not far to Lady Kendal’s house, the ladies could not be expected to walk.
There was only one lady Darcy knew who enjoyed walking at any chance she got, and whose eyes, brightened by the exercise, became even more enchanting.
The eyes that had haunted him for the last year and a half and had stripped him of his tranquillity so abruptly that he was unlikely to find it ever again.
Just as his life never had and never would be the same since the day he decided to propose to Elizabeth Bennet.
He had gone to her with trust, hope, passion, adoration, and honesty, with his soul on a plate.
And she had thrown it back at him, responding with blame, accusations, rejections, loathing, and disdain.
For six months, from the day he met her until the day he proposed, she had been everything to him.
And he had been nothing to her. A year later, the pain was still as sharp and torturous as on the day she had seeded it in his mind and in his heart. Perhaps even worse.
He had seen Elizabeth only once since he left Kent, ten months ago.
To his astonishment, she had come to Derbyshire with the Bingleys and the Gardiners.
He never expected to see her, as he was certain she was as desirous of avoiding him as he was her.
It had appeared that she had been forced by her sister and uncle’s plans to be there, and, very likely, she loathed his presence as much as he dreaded hers.
Thus, he had abandoned his guests with Georgiana, her companion Mrs Annesley, and his cousins, Richard and Anne, and left for Oxfordshire.
He left to allow her the comfort of enjoying Pemberley.
And she did, from what Georgiana and Anne had related to him.
They were both enchanted with Elizabeth and Jane, and friendships were made.
Richard had praised Elizabeth again and again until Darcy could bear it no longer.
Her presence was so powerful at Pemberley—if only in his imagination—that his beloved house had become a cage of suffering.
He kept envisioning her in every spot, every garden, every room, and such imaginings were too heavy to carry.
So he had spent less time at Pemberley this year than any other year of his life, and he had become estranged from his home and from his family in an attempt to escape from Elizabeth.
His love had not diminished, nor the agony of knowing she despised him as much as he adored her.
Bingley had written to him several times, telling him that he was missed and that Elizabeth wished to speak to him, but he hid from any such attempt.
She likely intended to thank him for confessing his interference to Bingley and advising him to return to Netherfield.
But Darcy did not need her gratitude. He was ashamed of his error in separating Bingley from Jane in the first place.
His friend’s present marital bliss was down to Elizabeth, not to him.
He had done no more than any man of common sense would have done.
Darcy hoped that Elizabeth had believed the contents of his letter concerning Wickham.
Perhaps she now realised some of her accusations had been ill-grounded.
What remained and could not be wiped from his mind was the disgust, the abhorrence, the aversion, that had shadowed her eyes and altered her bearing when she refused him.
Her behaviour towards him might now be changed, she might apologise and try to be friendly, but her repulsion had been too strong to pass so easily.
In that regard, there was nothing to be done.
Only time could make it fade. A long time.
A very long time. And distance. And his involvement in a delayed engagement to Anne.
Two weeks after Elizabeth had left Kent, Lady Catherine had called him back. Anne had taken to her bed, and her doctor of ten years was worried.