17. Hayden
17
HAYDEN
F or once, Sinners wasn’t filled with the sounds of nail guns and table saws. There was no sawdust flying all over the place for me to clean up for the thousandth time. There were none of Luca’s workmen wandering around, erecting walls or installing appliances. All of that was done, and the only thing left to do before opening night was for me to finalize and print the menu.
Which was proving the hardest part of the entire thing.
Nothing I made seemed good enough. I’d gone through every dish I’d ever practiced after hours in Simon’s shitty diner kitchen, and at the time, they’d looked and tasted amazing. I’d been so damn proud of them I’d flaunted them all over my Instagram.
Only now, when I made them again in this state-of-the-art kitchen with all the bells and whistles, they didn’t seem enough. I wasn’t enough and I was in way over my head. Luca was expecting world-class quality from a dumbass street thug from Saint View.
We were days away from opening, and I was going to expose myself for the fraud I was.
I’d covered the kitchen in an array of ingredients I couldn’t figure out how to bring together in an edible meal. I’d been leaving the clubhouse at the ass crack of dawn each morning and getting home near midnight, because every waking moment had to be dedicated to getting the food right.
Though it seemed that no matter what I did, I wasn’t satisfied.
From the front of the restaurant, someone knocked on the door I’d locked after letting myself in earlier. I probably should have been annoyed by the interruption, but I dropped the tasteless sauce I’d been trying to rescue in the sink. Any excuse to walk away from the mess I’d made and the crushing pressure of knowing I wasn’t cut out for this.
Kara waved at me from the street side of the glass door, Hawk a few steps behind her, scowling at the sign with my name on it.
I opened up quickly, gaze devouring her like the oasis in the storm she was. Something inside me relaxed just at the sight of her, and when she smiled warmly and squeezed my arm, it was like dark skies had parted to let her sunshine through, and all of it was focused on me.
I slid a hand along the side of her face and to the back of her neck, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “What are you doing here?”
She shrugged happily. “Day off from the hospital. We just took Hayley Jade to school. I asked Hawk to bring me over so I could see where you’ve been spending your time.”
I eyed him warily, unsure why he’d do anything for me, especially after the display I’d put on with Kara in the clubhouse earlier in the week. “And he agreed?”
Hawk stared at me. “He agreed to give Kara what she wanted. Because that’s the only thing he cares about. She wanted to come here. So he brought her.”
I raised an eyebrow. “And does he always talk about himself in the third person?”
He flipped me the bird. “Fuck off. Can I trust you to take care of her for a few hours? I’ve got something I need to do.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to say something smart, but a part of me also realized that though he was asking casually, the request was anything but.
Hawk was in love with Kara. It was obvious to anyone who paid attention to the way he cared for her. Him leaving her safety to me was actually putting a hell of a lot of faith and trust in me. So I didn’t give him shit.
I nodded. “Go. I’ve got her.”
He stared at me, and whatever he was searching for in my expression he must have found, because he leaned in, kissing Kara’s cheek gently. “I won’t be long. A couple of hours max. Call me if he’s a prick and you want me to come kick the shit out of him.”
She laughed, but I knew he actually wasn’t joking.
Kara pushed him out the door. “Go. We’ll be fine. See you this afternoon.”
I reached around her to lock the door.
She smiled up at me. “I hope this is okay? Just dropping in like this.”
I grinned at her. “Are you kidding? You saved me from chopping onions. Plus, I want you to see this place.”
Despite the fact I’d had myself convinced just minutes earlier that I was ruining the entire thing, the idea of showing Kara around filled me with pride. I hadn’t seen Luca since he’d shown up at my apartment, and other than some texts with plans for opening night, he’d left me to run the place by myself. It was easy to forget he had anything to do with it, and I could pretend it was all mine.
That probably wasn’t helping with the pressure, but it did alleviate the guilt sitting heavy on my heart because I’d gotten back into bed with the devil.
Fuck him. I wasn’t going to let him ruin this for me. I wasn’t going to let my own messed-up head and self-doubt ruin it either.
“You want the grand tour?” I went to the bar and washed my hands in the sink and pulled off my apron.
She followed me, eyes all big for what we’d created inside four walls. “It’s amazing. Everything here is so beautiful.”
Sinners had almost been fully transformed from a worksite to the upmarket restaurant of my dreams. It was dark and moody, deeply sexy from the dark wood floors, black walls, and red barstools. Black tablecloths covered small, intimate tables.
This wasn’t the sort of place you came with a group of friends, celebrating birthdays. Or with your parents when they were in from out of town. This was the sort of restaurant you came to with someone you wanted to get naked with.
We’d provided a place for that just feet away, in the back where my very own little den of iniquity had been erected.
No pun intended.
I pointed around the space. “The ma?tre d’ will be positioned just over there by the door, and he’ll escort couples to their tables. We’ve hired a bartender to make signature cocktails and to serve champagne and top-shelf liquor.”
She studied some of the bottles on the shelves, ready for drinks to be poured from. “These all look very expensive.”
“They are. You want one?”
She squinted at me. “It’s not even lunchtime.”
“Fair point.” I grinned at her. “Come see the rest of the place.”
I threaded my fingers through hers, the desire to touch her too strong to be ignored. She followed me through swinging doors that separated the eating area from the kitchen. I bypassed it, embarrassed of the mess I’d made. “Kitchen,” I said with a jerk of my head, quickly towing her past.
She dragged on my hand. “Wait, I want to see it.”
“Let me show you what’s through here first.” I pushed through a second set of doors. This set heavier and more elaborate than the first. They were heavy wood, with “Sinners Welcome” carved out of the middle.
Kara frowned at it as I led her through into the darkness beyond. I fumbled on the wall for the light switch, finding it and being careful to only switch on the low lights. The ones we’d use when the club was in session, rather than the bright fluorescent overhead lights that would come on when it was time to leave and for the cleaners to come in.
Kara frowned, taking it all in. Her brow furrowed. “What is this?”
The space had been one big room when Luca bought it. But now walls had gone up everywhere, turning the space into a maze of sorts, with dozens of alcoves for people to indulge in all sorts of different sexual kinks.
“Sex club,” I filled her in. “Hawk didn’t tell you?”
Her mouth dropped open. “You mean…a club where people…”
She was so cute when she blushed.
“Have sex?” I leaned on a wall. “Yeah. Have your dinner out in front. Dessert out in back.” I cocked my head, studying her. “You ever been to one before?”
Her head snapped around so she could transfer her wide-eyed stare to me. “Of course not! Why would you think that?”
I shrugged. “Bliss owns one, you know? Psychos. Not a huge jump to think you might have checked it out. Especially since…”
She frowned at me. “Especially since what?”
I grinned at her. “Especially since you seem to enjoy public sex.”
Her mouth dropped open. “I do not!”
I stepped in closer to her. “No?” I lowered my head. “Kara, I had three fingers buried in your pussy right in the middle of the Slayers’ compound while Hawk watched. I remember how wet you were. You can’t tell me you weren’t getting off on him watching.”
Pink stained her cheeks, and I gave her an out before she could self-combust. “Psychos is already doing the big open room thing, where everyone can see everyone, cages for performers, yadda yadda. We wanted this to be less of a performance, more of an experience.” I pointed at the three different openings to the maze. “So pick a path. Which one do you want to try?”
“Where do they all lead? There’s no signage.”
I winked at her. “That’s kind of the point. It’s a surprise.”
She indicated to the middle path. “That one.”
My dick stirred at the thought of what lay beyond the walls right in front of us. “Good choice.”
I led her in the direction she’d chosen.
The same black-and-red theme had been carried through, black padded bed-sized benches scattered throughout the maze for people to have sex on. “Each path starts out pretty chill. They all have these beds for anything people want to do on them.” I kept the tone light because I didn’t want to scare her, even though all I could think about was laying her out on one of them. “We’ll have lube and condoms easily accessible, as well as security in case anyone gets out of hand.”
She glanced at me warily as we passed a bed with tie-downs hanging from the sides. “That’s very…responsible of you.”
I chuckled, leading her deeper through the wide-walled maze.
She stared at holes in the wall. “What are those?”
“Glory holes.” When she looked confused, I elaborated. “For men to stick their dicks into and for the people on the other side to reciprocate in whatever way they want. Whether that be with their mouth or some other body part.”
She stopped and stared at the holes, like a twelve-inch cock might suddenly appear through one of them. “People just…suck…”
“Or fuck. Depends.”
“But they wouldn’t even be able to see the person on the other side. What if another man…”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “What if another man gets down on his knees on the other side? Or offers up his asshole?”
Her mouth dropped open. “People…people do that?”
“They do. They will. That’s part of the appeal of a glory hole. You don’t know what you’re going to get. You might get a mouth. A pussy. An ass. But you’ll never know who.”
“I can’t see how anyone would find that a turn-on.”
“Not your kink then, sweetheart. Let’s go find one that is.”
To my surprise, she didn’t protest.
“Sex swing,” I pointed out, passing one. “Any strong positive or negative feelings about that?”
She shook her head quickly.
“Moving on then.” It was strange to be so casually wandering around what would very soon be filled with naked bodies in various stages of sex. But I couldn’t deny that when some of these things had been being installed, I thought about bringing Kara here. I wasn’t sure she ever would, but even if she didn’t, this walk-through would give me an idea of what she was comfortable with.
“Bondage wall.” I ran a hand along a wall that had various tie-downs and restraints attached so multiple people could be restrained at once.
She paused, her breathing a little faster.
“There’s no shame in wanting to try something.”
“I don’t.”
She so did. But we weren’t there yet. And I’d pushed her buttons about as far as I thought I safely could. There was a vague panic in her eyes I didn’t like.
“Hey.” I pulled her into my arms and kissed her softly.
She melted, kissing me back. “This isn’t what I was expecting when I came here,” she whispered. “I’m not sure how I feel about you working here while beautiful women are…” She eyed the bondage wall. “Tied up, just waiting for you to take them in any hole.”
I chuckled. “You jealous?”
She shook her head. “Jealousy is a sin.”
“Don’t know if you noticed, but we’re in a club called Sinners. No one is judging your sins here, Kara.”
“I don’t want other women touching you,” she admitted. “I know that’s hypocritical of me when Hawk…”
I kissed her again. “No other women are touching me. Not here. Not outside these walls. Nowhere. You’re the only woman I want to touch. You’re the only woman I’ve wanted to touch ever since I met you.”
“I can’t ask you to do that for me.”
“You didn’t. I haven’t been with anyone since I met you. It’s always been you I wanted.”
“What about Hawk?”
I laughed. “You think I want Hawk?”
The corner of her mouth lifted. “Do you?”
“You’ve been hanging out with that shrink friend of yours too much, answering questions with questions,” I grumbled. But then I looked at her and asked another question of my own. “Do you like the idea of me wanting Hawk?”
She let out a breath and turned away without answering the question. “You still need to show me the kitchen.”
I let her go, following her out of the maze, even though I’d barely showed her a quarter of it. I flicked off the lights and resumed the tour. “Bathrooms. They’re pretty nice. There’s showers in there and fluffy towels and robes. And this is the kitchen. Sorry about the mess.”
She didn’t pay the spread of ingredients any mind though. Just wandered around the space, poking at all the appliances and running a finger along the countertops. “This is amazing,” she breathed. “I would have killed for a kitchen like this back at…” She shrugged, clearly not wanting to bring up the cult she’d been living in for the past five years.
I could barely think about her being held there against her will, and the guilt over doing nothing to help her was eating me alive. “I thought you were happy there. We thought you’d gone home to be with your family. I would have come if I’d known.”
She smiled at me and stroked a hand down my face. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I’m the only person who needs to feel any guilt over what happened to me.” She peered past me to the walk-in storage pantry where we kept all the food. Her eyes widened. “What is that?”
I grinned. “Best part of the whole kitchen. It’s like my own mini supermarket.” I walked in, hefting up a huge bag of flour I’d left right in the middle. “You can come in.” I shifted the heavy weight in my arms and tried to maneuver it onto a shelf, so it was out of the way. “Just be careful not to close the door because the lock—”
The door swung shut behind Kara.
I grimaced. “Wasn’t installed properly and we’ll be locked in.”