35
35
Liberty
All the things that needed to be said had been swept under the rug, and it was my fault too. I might as well have held up the damn rug while he did the sweeping. Why? Because the idea of rocking the boat and losing what we had right now had me doing whatever I had to in order to hold on. Every day that we spent together, it felt more secure. It was no longer just me, and I knew that. He didn’t say it, but he felt something. It was more than a jealous, maniacal outburst.
Liam Walsh might not love me—yet—but he was falling. I could see it in the way he looked at me. Not just when our gazes connected during sex either. I would catch him watching me doing something as simple as cooking or watching television, and I’d look up, and his eyes would tell me what he couldn’t say.
So, yes, I was letting go of the entire horror that had happened with Country.
Liam had moved my OB-GYN to one here in Ocala that his daughter also used. He didn’t want me going back to Miami anytime soon. It was obvious, even if he didn’t say it.
The group text I had with Nina, Dolly, and Goldie helped keep me connected to them. I did miss them, but right now, I was at the only place I wanted to be. With Liam.
My next appointment, the one where we’d find out the gender, was tomorrow. We were at the halfway mark, and I still had no idea what to plan for after the baby came.
I kept waiting for him to mention turning the unused room upstairs into a nursery, but nothing. Not even a peep about the things the baby would need once it arrived. Once we knew what it was, I had to start thinking about that. And if Liam wasn’t going to give me any clarity, then I had to get a good job. One with normal hours, health insurance, and security.
I’d gone online and found samples of résumés, then made one of my own in Liam’s home office he never used. I printed it out and sent it in to several different places, but so far, I’d not heard from any of them.
I finished putting in the burning bush around the oak tree closest to the house, then stood up to stand back and admire them. The sound of the gate opening caught my attention, and I stepped around the tree to see a silver Mercedes SUV coming down the drive. I didn’t know that car, but for them to have the code to get through the gate meant they had been invited.
Liam wasn’t home yet, but it was almost six, and he’d be here soon. I took off my gardening gloves, then laid them in the tote that held my supplies Liam had bought for me. The vehicle came to a stop, and I waited to see who emerged.
The door swung open, and out stepped a woman. She was young with platinum-blonde hair draped over her shoulder that held a loose curl at the ends. Calling the woman gorgeous would be an understatement. Knowing she had the code to get into Liam’s gate made my stomach feel sour.
“Hello,” she said as she walked toward me with a smile on her face.
“Hello,” I replied, waiting for her to explain why she was here.
Her gaze dropped to my stomach briefly before looking back at me. The breeze blew her hair, and she tucked it behind her ear, then laughed as she had to hold her sundress down too. Her laugh was lovely. I needed this woman to have some faults because she wasn’t lost. And the idea of her being close to Liam was getting harder to accept by the moment.
“I’m sorry for dropping in like this,” she said as she stopped a few feet away from me. “I can be impatient.”
When I said nothing, her smile widened, and her eyes sparkled, reminding me of clear blue water when the sun hit it just right.
She held out her hand. “I should start by introducing myself. I’m Madeline Hughes, Liam’s daughter.”
I blinked, completely stunned. That wasn’t what I’d expected. I knew he had a grown daughter and grandkids, but he’d not made a move to introduce me to any of them.
Did she know I was pregnant? I felt so unprepared.
Fumbling, I took her hand and shook it. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m, uh …” What did I say?
He must have told her about me, right? Another one of those boat-rocking things I didn’t bring up with him.
Her eyes were kind as she reassured me, “I know who you are, Liberty.”
I instantly relaxed. “Oh, good. I didn’t know. He hasn’t said and …” I trailed off, feeling awkward.
“Liam can be hardheaded and difficult. I hope you’ve figured that out by now,” she told me. Then, her gaze drifted back to my stomach. “I don’t know what all he’s told you about me, but he’s the only blood relative I have.” Her eyes came back to meet mine. “And seeing as you are carrying my only sibling, I wanted to get to know you. I’d like to be friends even if Liam is making that difficult.”
He was? She had been asking him about me? The reasons why he wouldn’t want me to meet her or get to know her were all depressing.
“I’m glad you came by,” I said, although I wasn’t sure if I was or not. If she hadn’t, I wouldn’t have known Liam didn’t want his family to know me. I could have continued to live in my own little fantasy world I’d been building. The one where I thought he was falling in love with me. But could he love me if he was ashamed of me?
The sound of the gate opening again meant he was home. I would get to see how he reacted to this. Maybe since things had started to change between us, he hadn’t wanted to share me yet. I liked that thought. Who was I kidding? I liked any thought that meant Liam had strong feelings for me.
“Oops,” Madeline said with a grin. “I didn’t expect him home so early.”
This wasn’t early for him. Not anymore at least. He had started leaving the club about the time it opened to come home to me. We had dinner together, sat on the front porch swing, talked about things—just not the things that we should be talking about—watched movies, and then there was the sex. Lots of sex.
I wanted to invite her to stay for dinner, but without seeing Liam’s reaction to her being here, I felt like perhaps I shouldn’t just yet.
Liam parked his Harley, and I watched him sling his leg over as he got off, then start this way. He smiled at Madeline.
“Didn’t know you were paying me a visit,” he said to her, seeming happy about her being here.
But he didn’t look my way.
“Well, I wanted to meet Liberty,” she said, not worrying about upsetting him at all.
He glanced at me then and gave me a nod. “How long have you been here?”
Why had he nodded at me as if I were an acquaintance? This morning, he’d pinned me against the kitchen counter and kissed me until I lost my breath. I didn’t expect him to do that in front of his daughter, but this was odd.
“Not even ten minutes,” she replied.
He tilted his head toward the house. “Come on inside and get a drink. Tell me how Cree’s liking the preschool life. I haven’t talked to him since school started.”
Madeline looked over at me as if she was going to say something.
“Flowers look good, Liberty. Nice job. Has Ozzy been out for his evening run already? Or have you not gotten to that yet?” The businesslike tone he was using as he kept his distance from me was saying more than any words could.
I cleared my throat as my face flushed. “Uh, he was out here until I started the digging. But it’s been an hour. I’ll, uh …” I couldn’t find my words.
With Madeline’s presence and the fact that Liam was treating me like I worked for him in front of her, the clarity was hitting too hard.
“I can let him out. Continue with what you were doing,” he said, then looked back at Madeline. “Come on.”
A small frown furrowed her brow as she gave me a glance, as if she wasn’t sure what to think. I managed a smile, although I didn’t know how I did it.
She reached out and squeezed my hand, as if to reassure me. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. We will make plans for lunch one day. That way, we can talk.”
I wasn’t going to be able to get words out past the boulder lodged in my esophagus. I just nodded, then turned and went back to the tree, acting as if I had something more to do here.
When I heard the door to the house close, I picked up my tote and walked back to the storage shed. My mind was reeling. The part of me that had been wishing for a fairy tale tried so hard to hold on while the blatant truth that had just unfolded in front of me stood there, mocking its existence.
Ozzy appeared at my side, and I dropped the gardening tools and bent down to wrap my arms around him. I buried my face into his neck, and he stayed still, as if he understood this was what I needed. No whining or wiggling around, trying to play.
As demoralizing as this was, I knew that my knowing was for the best. I could stop playing house and focus on the future Liam never spoke about.
The slamming of a door caused both Ozzy and me to jump. I stood up and looked toward the front of the house. There was no talking, but the sound of a car door closing, then the engine starting up meant Madeline was already leaving. She’d barely been inside.
I didn’t think I could face Liam right now. There was a lot I had to process. Decide how I would move forward and the best course. I was doing myself a disservice, pretending this was something it wasn’t. I wanted it so badly that I’d made up things in my head because that was all it could have been. Whatever signs I’d thought I’d seen, I had been so very wrong. Or just desperate.
Another door slammed, and I watched as Liam walked around the side of the house. I stayed still. If he had something to say, then I’d listen, but there were no words that could take back what had just happened.
His expression appeared as if he was in pain. That wasn’t going to work. Whatever it was. He didn’t get to be in pain. He hadn’t just been humiliated.
When he got too close, I took a step back.
“That’s good,” I said, holding up a hand.
His jaw clenched, and he stared at me. His hazel eyes were full of regret, and I’d give it to him—he looked like he was hurting. Too bad I didn’t care. My wounds were too deep and raw.
“That was …” he started, then stopped.
I waited. I wasn’t going to make this easy on him. He ran a hand over his head, as if he had something to be frustrated about.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said.
I raised my eyebrows. That was it? He was sorry?
“We aren’t five, Liam. Sorry isn’t a magical word.”
He let out a deep sigh and stared off into the backyard. “I can’t let Madeline be affected by this, Liberty. I don’t know how else to explain it. But she’s my daughter, who I only got to meet six years ago. What we have is new, and I’m trying to be the father she didn’t have. Make up for all the time I lost. And dragging her into this,” he said, waving his hand between the two of us, “it’s not fair. She wants me to find someone to grow old with and all that shit. She worries about me being alone, and if she thinks we are … if there is …” He stopped and let out a groan, looking like what he was saying was tearing him up inside.
There was a part of me that wanted to reach out and reassure him because my stupid ass loved him that much. It was why I played his game. Lived in the now, pretending like this was all okay while we left out things. Me meeting his family, for example, talking about our pasts, planning our future. He might want me to an extent, but he didn’t want me bad enough. If he was going to love me, he would’ve by now.
“Tell me you understand.” There was pleading in his voice.
“I do,” I replied.
He studied me, or perhaps he was waiting on me to elaborate. I didn’t. I had nothing else to say. Yes, I understood. He had quite literally crushed my soul, but I did understand. I understood everything I hadn’t before Madeline showed up. I got it loud and clear now.
“That’s it. You don’t have anything else to say?”
I shook my head. “No. That’s all.”
“You’re hurt,” he said gently.
I wasn’t hurt. Not this time. That was a very inadequate description of what I was going through. “I promise you I’m not.”
“Yes, you are!” he demanded, raising his voice. “I stood right there”—he pointed to where we had been when he arrived—“and I ignored you. I acted like you were merely … merely …”
He looked at me as if I was supposed to fill in the blanks for him. I didn’t. This game was done. I’d say he won.
“FUCK!” he shouted, running his hands over his head and staring at me with a panicked gleam in his eyes.
“Just yell at me! Hit me! Do something, Liberty. You are killing me here.”
Nope. He didn’t get to shatter me, then have me do his bidding. That was over.
I wasn’t someone he could be proud of. The mother of his child was completely dependent on him. I had nothing to give back. I couldn’t share the load. I was a burden.
He might not love me, but he was damn well gonna have a reason to respect me. I would prove to him that I was worthy of being this child’s mom. That I would make our baby proud even if I had failed to give him a reason to feel that way about me.
“Say something! Please,” he begged.
Ozzy barked at him, as if to tell him to shut up. At least I’d won the love of one soul in this house. I wasn’t completely unlovable.
“Are you ready for me to make dinner?” I asked. “I have steaks marinating.”
He stood there as if he could read my mind if he looked hard enough.
“That’s it? I’m trying to talk to you about something, and you want to know if I’m ready for dinner?” he asked incredulously.
“You wanted me to talk. I was done discussing the other.”
“DAMMIT, LIBERTY!”
Ozzy stepped between us, and a low growl came from him as he bared his teeth.
Liam looked at his dog for a moment, then turned and stalked away. He didn’t head for the house. Instead, he threw his leg over his Harley and started it up. The engine revved to life, and he spun out of the driveway while Ozzy and I stayed there in the setting sun and stared after him long after the gate closed behind him.