Chapter 16
Dove
The combi van was already packed for me, the boys’ minds made up, and it was time for me to leave their protection. My job with River was still mine if I wanted it.
Pfft, whatever.
I don’t have to accept their charity. I’m not sure why he would want me to work for him. He didn’t even bother to show his face to say goodbye, that’s how much he cared about me. And I knew that’s what was going to happen when he saw what was on my phone. I’m hurt but not surprised.
The whiplash from practically being kidnapped and held against my will, to being kicked out of their home, is such a slap in the face it snapped me back to reality. And that’s a good thing because I was getting wrapped up in their world, and that’s the last thing I need to do.
So, I drove the fuck out of their stupid mansion, their stupid town.
But now I’m sitting at a small beach about thirty minutes away.
It’s nice here, peaceful, a few other campers in vans and tents line the park at the back.
I met a few when I first pulled up, some girls close to my age who are traveling down from up north and decided they like it here so have stayed a while.
There is also a toilet block and BBQ facilities.
I could stay here for a while, till I work out my next move, but I’m not quite sure what to do with myself.
I want to run as far away as possible, but something is stopping me.
An invisible pull back to my roots and a desperate thirst for answers.
If I leave for good, I may never know what really happened to my mum.
Yeah, that’s all this is. I need closure so I can move on with my life.
It has nothing to do with the three of them and their false offers to help me with jobs, places to stay, and all the shit Kasen bought for me.
That was all more about them, guilt stuff I’m sure because he knows he threw me under the bus that night.
Sent me back home to be shipped off to boarding school.
Well, it’s a bit fucking late, buddy. That’s why I left it all behind.
I don’t want anything from them no matter how nice some of that stuff was.
I’m better off on my own with my shitty possessions.
The hollowness in my chest has nothing to do with them.
Absolutely nothing to do with the way River kissed me.
The way Kasen told me I was his.
Or the look of desire in Bodhi’s eyes when I woke up with him just inches away from me this morning.
They discarded me like the trash they clearly think I am after what they saw on my phone.
I’m nothing to them; used and broken, just a ghost from their past who never should have come back.
Reality was too much for them to stand so they sent me away again, just like they wanted to last time.
Kasen really has become Keller. And you know what, I reckon Bodhi is on his way there.
Probably River as well. Stupid money and power messes with people’s heads. Them obviously included.
They should be nothing to me. They were always my Kryptonite, and now that I’m older and smarter, I know better. Getting far away from them is the best option.
But the sickness lingering in the pit of my stomach is difficult to ignore.
Just a few short days back in their lives and I’m thrust back into the pain of when Dad and I ran.
I cried for weeks last time. Turning myself into a zombie hardly able to function at all, it got so bad at one point Dad rushed me to the hospital afraid I was about to end my own life.
That’s what he told me anyway. That’s when the cutting started.
It’s the strangest thing but I don’t have any memory from that time, just the scars.
When I try and think back on it, it’s all just a blur of emotions, hurt, sadness, fear.
But the memories are foggy at best. Admittedly I had lost my mother and my whole existence on the same night, so it wasn’t surprising I was so messed up.
But it was those boys who tore me to shreds.
They were part of my identity, so far etched under my skin I never thought I would recover.
It took me years to accept I would never see them again.
Years more to stop looking over my shoulder wishing they would come find me.
I have been lost for so long, I never thought I would feel any sort of normal again.
But with them… I do. Even if it’s a fucked-up you’re ours kind of normal.
Even if it was the kind of arrangement that came with rules like you stay with us and do as we say.
I was part of something again. And for the first time in so damn long, I was starting to feel normal.
Until they came home with that damn phone of mine, anyway.
With a heavy sigh, I grab my hammer. On my way out of town, I emptied the storage locker at the bus station where I stashed all the shit from my parents’ place and used some of the cash River left for me to buy myself a hammer, hoping it’ll be enough to get the safe open.
Maybe, just maybe, this will give me a clue.
I don’t need much, just more than what my dad gave me to go off and my blurry memories.
Shit, the only thing he told me was it would never be safe for us to return to Deadwater Bay.
If I tried to press him on it, desperate to get back to my old life, he would tell me that’s all he knew, it just wasn’t safe after what happened to Mum.
But I could see in the depths of his green eyes, he knew more than he was saying.
He was trying to protect me from something horrible.
And I knew it must have been horrific because as soon as we arrived in Breakers Point, he met with some dude who fixed us up with a couple of new identities.
He said he was a cop, that he was going to help us start our new life safely.
I knew Kasen’s dad had something to do with it, he was there that night talking to my mum, I’m sure trying to manipulate her into giving him the land he wanted.
A sick feeling washes over me. I was just a naive kid, but I’m not that anymore, and I never questioned what he said to me until now.
Could we have been in some sort of witness protection?
Is that why our identities had to be changed?
Is that why he had the cop help us? Fuck, I wish he was here, that I asked more questions while he was still alive.
But when he got sick, life became about survival, making money and doing all I could to get him through to his next treatment and give him the best quality of life possible.
He was everything to me, and I didn’t want to waste what little time we had left bothering him with questions that clearly made him uncomfortable.
I loved my dad with all I had, he was a fighter and would have done anything for me, right up until he couldn’t anymore.
I was lucky to have him in my life, even if it wasn’t for as long as I would have liked.
With all the strength I have, I slam the hammer into the safe, aiming for the combination lock. Once, twice, on the third hit the thing pops open. It’s mangled from the outside and the bashing I just gave it, but the contents look fine. I tip it up on the bed so I can see it all.
It’s a whole stack of mail, all with my mother’s name addressed on the front and her work address at council chambers.
I open the first envelope. There are photos of my mum.
Seeing her brings tears to my eyes, but I don’t understand what I’m seeing.
This image is of her talking to Keller Throne.
There is a letter as well spelled out in cut-out magazine letters.
I know what you did. You have seven days to send fifty thousand dollars or they will all know.
Then there is a bank account for the money to be deposited into.
With my heart kicking in my chest, I pull out another one.
It’s much the same, but this time the letter says: I saw what you did, Madam.
Mayor. If you don’t want your family and your beloved town to know, it’s time to pay up.
Send me seventy-five thousand in the next two days or I make sure you’re outed as the corrupt leader you really are. Tick-tock, time’s a getting away.
The image is of my mum with Keller again, this time though they aren’t shaking hands. This time Keller has his hand around the back of my mum’s neck and the two of them are staring at each other. No, not staring, gazing deeply into each other’s eyes. Fuck.
I swallow the lump in my throat, a white-hot heat coming over me. What the fuck! What did she do? My mind races like crazy, images flashing through it. Then I see it so damn clearly, it’s like a fucking movie playing through my mind.
“Get the fuck out of here.” My father’s voice vibrates through our family home.
I drop my English assignment and move to my door, cracking it open to see what on earth is going on. My dad doesn’t swear, not ever. He’s the perfect mayor’s husband, a pillar of society.
From my room I have a decent view of the front foyer and can make out who he’s just yelled at. Keller Throne, my mum’s mortal enemy, or if this was a comic strip he would be anyway. Keller straightens his shoulders and leers down at him.
“Calm down, Edward, I won’t take up much of your wife’s time.” His smile is slick and gives me the creeps.
“What are you doing here?” my mum calls, bounding down the hallway and out of her office. “Surely anything we need to discuss can be scheduled with my secretary tomorrow.” She glares at him angrily.
Keller raises a brow. “It’s in your best interest to hear what I have to say tonight, Juliet.”
My mum puffs out a breath then turns toward my dad, gently squeezing his hand. “Give us a minute, Ted.”