Chapter 29
Dove
Iwaited until I knew Kasen had gone to work for the day before I left my room.
After what happened between me, River, and Slater yesterday, I half expected him to come banging on my door demanding something from me.
But he didn’t, thank God. Right now, I’m not sure how I look the other boys in the eyes, but it’s going to be easier than dealing with King Kasen throwing a tantrum because the other boys got to play with his toy.
And there is no way he didn’t hear us yesterday.
The shattered something in the kitchen was a dead giveaway.
Right now, I would say he’s nursing a bruised ego, but he brought that on himself tricking me yesterday, playing games with me with no care about my feelings or even how it affects my life.
Stealing all my memories was the last straw for me.
He’s changed so much in the last ten years.
The sweet side of him is completely gone, and all that is left is this bossy arrogant asshole who is hell bent on making me his.
The mansion is quiet, a little too quiet, but I take it as my chance to go in search of food.
After skipping dinner last night, I’m starving, but I wasn’t facing them.
Truth is, I was still full from lunch and too exhausted to bother moving out of bed anyway, and also, how do I face River and Slater after that?
It was a whole lot of messed up, even if it was hot as hell.
The fridge is fully stocked with any food I could possibly want.
I grab a tub of yogurt and some strawberries and sit tentatively at the kitchen counter.
I’m sore today, not just my pussy that the boys might have actually broken, but every muscle in my body aches in that delicious used kind of way.
A shiver runs through me as I get a flashback of them both inside of me.
I can’t believe we did that. Even more, I can’t believe how badly I want to do it again.
I should want to stay as far away from them all as possible.
But the longer I’m here in this house with them, the harder that becomes.
There is just something about them that seduces me.
Every mouthful of my breakfast is so delicious I want to groan in pleasure.
I’m not sure where these boys shop for food, but it’s not what I have available to me normally.
I really do need to make the most of it while I’m in this place, because when I escape, I will be back to vegemite toast and instant coffee.
I move to the coffee machine and pop a pod in and press play as I wait for the fancy machine to produce a café-quality latte.
When I have the steaming glass full in my hands, I turn around and lean into the kitchen bench while I take my first sip, flinching when I see today’s newspaper just lying there.
It’s obviously been left strategically placed for me to find open with my and Kasen’s photo front and center on the first page. Cringe.
I’m still bitter about him setting me up, forcing me to dress up like his doll, all so he can keep up appearances for this town. It makes me sick to my stomach that he has the power to do what he wants, and even more that he thinks it’s a good idea.
Taking another sip of my coffee, I glance over the story Miss Arnott wrote.
Apparently, I moved to the States and attended a private school, and after I was done, I decided to stay a little longer because Dad had work there, and we were settled and too sad to come home after what happened to my dear mother.
Kasen and his PA are lying through their teeth.
Truth is, that is what she wanted to happen and probably would have been my story if my mum didn’t get murdered.
My life would have been completely different.
I still have no idea why my own mum wanted to ship me off overseas to school.
Was she trying to protect me? Or herself?
Knowing she was secretly seeing Keller, it might have been the latter.
I have to come to terms with the fact that she might not have been the saint I have painted her to be.
She was clearly doing some sort of business with the Thrones, though how deep that runs, who knows.
And my dad, I know he was angry that night.
I remember him yelling at her, the hatred he clearly had for Keller.
I close my eyes, trying to hear what she was saying.
I rush back into the house out of breath. “Dad, what’s going on?”
He stands and collects up the two bags, no expression on his handsome face. “We’re leaving, say goodbye to your mother.” His words are empty, almost emotionless.
My heart restricts. “What?” I whisper, fear rocketing through me.
And that’s where it all fades to nothing.
I have been over that scenario so many times with my therapist, it’s not even funny.
I can’t get past that part of the night.
It’s all just a blur after that. I massage my temples, hating that my memory still eludes me.
Part of me thought being back in this town would jog something.
Would give me some answers to fill the gap, but I only have more questions.
Questions I bet Kasen has the answers to, except he will never tell me what he knows.
I finish my coffee and rinse off the mug in the sink, staring out the window, trying to force the memories to come back to me.
Talon says survivor trauma can block them, but what was the trauma?
Me watching Keller kiss my mum? That was gross, but I’m not sure traumatic enough to trigger memory loss.
A hand glides down my arm and warm breath brushes over my neck. “Why did you run off?” River asks. “We were having fun.”
I turn in his arms, placing a hand on his chest for space. “Did you really want some awkward chat after? I think me leaving was for the best for all of us.”
His hand slides down the side of my face tenderly but in a way that forces me to look at him directly. “I wanted to take care of you.”
I blink back at him, not sure I heard him right. My sweet River from ten years ago, yeah, that makes sense, but him, the man standing in front of me? I’m not so sure.
His fingers move to my waist, and he pins me between the bench and his solid body. “That was a lot, you must have been sore. I was going to run you a bath, maybe take you to bed with me.”
What the fuck? River is not the clingy type, so why is he looking at me like last night was something more than it was? “Riv…” I start, but he cuts me off.
His face is more serious. “Don’t go blocking us out again, Dove. Yesterday was the most honest you have been with us since you came home.”
“I was… We…” I don’t know how to respond. “Yesterday was fun, but it can’t happen again. I shouldn’t have let it happen in the first place. I was just in a fucked-up headspace after that lunch with Kasen.”
His lips turn up at the sides, but his smile isn’t kind.
“Keep lying to yourself, babe, but we both know us fucking you yesterday was just the inevitable playing out.” His head drops, and he inhales.
He’s so close to me, but I try with all I have not to inhale his scent because us being this close is already messing with my head again.
“And the longer you stick around, the deeper you’re going to fall for all of us.
It’s written in the stars, Dove. It’s why you’re really back.
” His words prickle over my skin and sink deep down into my soul, because I know he’s right.
My hand that’s keeping the distance between us fists into his shirt, and I shove at him. “I’m here for answers, that’s all.” I force the words out, but there is something in them that makes an ache form in my chest. I can’t tell River he doesn’t mean anything to me, because that would be a lie.
He moves so our gazes are locked, then he grabs me by the back of the neck and tilts my head so our lips are just a breath away. “Stop lying to yourself, Dove. You love us as much as we love you.”
My chest heaves. He’s too close, overwhelming me with his intoxicating scent.
I can’t be this close to him. And even though I know I shouldn’t, my eyes flutter closed and I meet my lips with his, kissing him with all the passion he had for me last night.
I’m falling for him all over again, and there is nothing I can do to stop myself.
After we pull back, we’re both left gasping for air, chests heaving. River kisses like his life depends on it every time. But I’m breathless because I know there is so much more going on here, and there can’t be. I can’t let it.
My head drops, it’s too hard to look at him. “It hurts too much, River.”
“I can take away your pain, baby. Let me in.”
“For now, but then what? Kasen decides he’s had his fun with me and tosses me out on the street? He was ready to do it once, help his dad send me off to some fucking school overseas, I’m sure he would do it again.”
He runs his finger over the side of my face, tracing my lips like he’s trying to memorize every detail. “Things are different now, baby, we have all the control. K cares about you, we all do.”
“I have no intention of sending you anywhere.” Kasen’s voice booms through the kitchen, making me flinch back in shock. I thought he was at work. Thought I was safe to talk openly with River.
River takes a step back from me, giving Kasen space to crowd me.
The dark circles under his eyes are deeper today.
He looks like a man on the verge of losing control, not the powerful leader he’s supposed to be.
“I didn’t go to all this trouble to make sure this town knows you belong to me just to ship you off anywhere.
Stop letting your imagination run wild and start seeing what is in front of you. ”