Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Charlie
In Deep
Oh my fucking god. I just had sex. Like real sex. With Kip, who is literally the fucking sexiest man I’ve ever seen in my life. And he wanted me to top him.
He smiles at me, his eyes still cum dazed.
I reach my hand out, running my fingers along his chiseled cheek. There’s no going back now. I’m seriously in deep with this vampire.
I know I’ve got a goofy grin to match Kip’s on my face. I can’t help it.
“That was amazing, Kip.”
“I’m glad it was you, Charlie. It was only meant to be you.” Kip’s eyes are misty, but his grin remains.
“Damn, I should probably get something to clean us up, huh?” I begin to push myself off the bed, but Kip quickly throws an arm and a leg over me, pinning me in place.
“No.” He says petulantly.
I giggle. “You’re such a needy little princess. Who woulda thought?”
We cuddle like this, basking in each other’s presence, for a while longer. But soon, I can’t stand the way the sticky lube and drying cum feel on my skin.
“I’ll be right back.” I stroke his cheek again.
“Nooooo.” He whines.
I laugh. “Kip, I have to get us cleaned up. I’ll be right back, I swear.”
Kip pouts out his cute lower lip. “Fine.”
I smack a kiss against his pout before crawling out of bed to get a warm, wet washcloth.
After we’re both cleaned up, I snuggle into him again.
“Hey, Kip?”
“Hmmm?”
“I’m glad it was you too, I mean, for my first time.
” I bite my lip, contemplating how vulnerable I want to be.
“I was honestly really nervous. But everything happening with you made it more comfortable. You were super open with me, and shared something that you were insecure about. It made it easier to give in and just feel instead of worry. I’d never done any of those things with anyone before. ”
Kip snorts. “Really? You were a fucking champ. Although, I’ve never gotten my ass eaten before. Or been fingered open by anyone but myself. So who knows if you were actually good?” He teases.
I smack his pec. “Hey, that was mean.”
“Owwieee!” He gives me big puppy dog eyes. “I was joking, sweetheart. It was perfect, really. That whole experience? I’ve got it stored up here.” He taps his temple. “That’s one for the spank bank.”
“Oh shut up.” I roll my eyes, but can’t help the dorky grin on my face. If anyone else had said something like that after sex, I’d be hurt. But this is Kip. I don’t think he has a hurtful bone in his body. I mean, unless you count his vamp teeth, but that’s not really his fault.
“You know, I really tried not to like you when we first met.” I say thoughtfully, remembering when we first ran into each other at the bar that I was forced to go to by my coworkers. Imagine if I hadn’t given in that day. We never would have met, and my life would be infinitely less interesting.
“No, really?!” Kip replies sarcastically. “Baby, you were literally like a cactus when we first met, trying to poke me with your stabby personality. Keeping me away from your gooey, soft center.”
“Yeah, yeah, well fortunately for you, you’re charming, and I realized that it was no use trying to fight it. Also, the vampire thing is super interesting, so I couldn’t resist that. If you weren’t a vampire though…”
Now it’s his turn to smack me. “That’s not even true. You’d like me even if I was a boring human. Admit it.”
“I can’t, princess. I’m not going to lie to you.” I’m taunting him, and we both know it.
Kip rolls over on top of me, holding me down. “Admit it!” He tickles my sides and armpits until I squirm and squeal.
“Fine! I admit it. Even if you weren’t a super cool, interesting, and mysterious vampire, I would still like you!”
“You’re goddamn right, you would.” He smirks exultantly.
I lean down and capture his lips with mine in a soft and sweet kiss.
When I lay back down, I can’t help stare at Kip in wonder. In spite of my outside demeanor, Kip chose me. He somehow saw through the hard exterior that I put up as a front. Ever since that time in high school…I haven’t shown the world the real me. Kip saw it anyway, without me trying.
“What’re you thinking about, sweetheart?” Kip interrupts my thoughts.
I haven’t discussed this with anyone. Not even my friends know.
The only people who know are my Mom, and the kids I went to high school with.
I’ve tried to move on and forget about it.
But even though I hate to admit it, what Jeremy did to me back then is clearly still influencing me now.
Jeremy destroyed me, and made me who I am now.
I sigh. “I’m thinking about the past. And how you’re the only one who knows the real me. Besides Mom, obviously.”
“Hmmm…and what does that mean? You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want. But if you want to…I’ll listen.”
I close my eyes, and bury my head in Kip’s chest, pressing the top of my head against his chin.
His arms wrap around me, caging me safely against him.
Kip was vulnerable with me by asking for what he wanted in bed.
He’s actually been super vulnerable with me throughout this entire relationship. Maybe it’s my turn.
“I wasn’t always this closed off. When I was a kid, I was super trusting. Too trusting. I led with my heart, not my head.”
“How is that a bad thing?” Kip asks gently, tilting his face down to press his lips against my hair.
“It can be, especially when someone takes advantage of your naivety.” I whisper into Kip’s chest. “Which is what happened to me. Jeremy taught me that I was stupid to let anyone know the real me. If people now who I am at my core, they have the power to hurt me.”
“Jeremy?” Kip growls.
The anger as Kip says that name makes a spark of something a lot like love flare in my chest. He doesn’t know the full story, or how idiotic I really was, but he’s mad on my behalf. But, once he knows, that’ll probably change.
Here goes nothing. “Yeah, he was…sort of my first introduction into the dating world. Or, I thought he was. It would turn out that I was wrong about his intentions.” I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the flaying open of my heart.
“He ran with the jocks, and I ran with the weird kids, goths, nerds. That should’ve been a clue.
Why would the most popular guy in high school want to go out with the goth freak?
I guess that’s one of the reasons I doubted you too.
Now that I’m thinking about it, the two situations are kind of similar.
Although I’m seeing now that they’re going to end two very different ways. ”
Kip tilts my chin up to look me in the eye. “I like that you’re a little nerdy and a little weird, Charlie. You’re opposite to me, but in all the good ways. You’re so fucking smart, and loyal. You’re kind, and beautiful. You’re everything I need.”
A small smile tilts on my lips. “I mean, those things describe you too, you know. So, not really opposite.”
Kip huffs. “Oh, please.”
“It’s true.”
“Okay, I never thought I’d say this, but enough with the compliments. Continue the story, Charlie.”
My smile falls. “It was senior year. Jeremy and I were lab partners for Biology. And despite the rumors of him being a dick and a bully, he was always super nice to me. I realize now that it’s probably because I let him get away with not helping with our work in class.
He always used to tell me how brilliant I was, and how if he helped it would bring our grades down.
I soaked up any compliment he gave me like a fucking plant dying of thirst. I made it too easy for him to use me. ”
“Okay, you need to stop blaming yourself for whatever this dickhead did.” Kip butts in. “His actions were his, not yours.”
“If I hadn’t been so blind, I would’ve seen what was really happening.
If I hadn’t been so trusting, none of it would have happened.
” I argue. “Anyway…there was a big research project for the class. We had to start meeting outside of school. It started fine. We’d meet, usually at his house, and work together.
But then things started to change. We started getting closer.
Jeremy started…flirting. I was confused.
I thought I was the only gay kid in our high school.
But even I couldn’t mistake what Jeremy was doing as anything but flirting.
And I was proved right when he kissed me one night. ”
Kip snarls.
His protectiveness makes a bit of my embarrassment ebb away.
“Afterwards, he confessed that he was bi.” I continue.
“And that he had feelings for me. I was beyond thrilled. The hottest, most popular guy in school chose me. He chose me over everyone else. Then he told me we had to keep it a secret. Jeremy said that his parents wouldn’t approve.
And I believed him. So we dated in secret.
I hate to say it, but at the time it was exciting.
The sneaking around, sharing stolen kisses.
We never went further than that though. He never pushed me for more than kissing, and that was okay with me because doing anything beyond that was daunting.
I wasn’t ready. During the entire time we were together, I never suspected anything.
I thought he was genuine. That he liked me.
And I thought that maybe I could love him… someday.”
I pause, wiping the tears from my eyes. Taking a deep inhale, I prepare to relive one of the worst memories of my life.
It was years ago, but it still stings. I guess I wanted to believe I was over this, but I never really was.
Talking about it again makes me realize that I never really processed and moved on.
It sucks to shred my heart open like this…
but at the same time, it feels freeing. So I continue.
“We dated for a few months, and it was amazing. He was so attentive and caring. Sure, during the school day he ignored me and pretended we were nothing to each other. But when we were alone? It was like I was his entire world. I’d never had that before.
It was always just me and Mom. And I love my Mom, but I needed more.
As a single parent, she was always working two to three jobs to make ends meet.
She loves me more than anything, but it wasn’t enough.
I craved attention and affection. And Jeremy gave me everything I wanted. Until he didn’t…”
Tears are streaming down my face now. It hurts so fucking bad to remember what it was like to feel so loved, and then realize it was all a joke.
I clear my throat. “We decided to take the next step. We were both ready. I knew Jeremy wasn’t a virgin, but I was.
I was nervous, and scared…but I thought he was the one.
So we made a plan. He booked a hotel room.
His family was pretty wealthy, so the few hundred dollars was a drop in the bucket for him.
It was going to be so romantic. Anyway, Jeremy gave me the keycard, and told me to go on up and get ready.
He said he forgot something in the car. And idiot I was, I listened.
I wanted to really surprise him, so I went up to the room and got undressed, laying on the bed waiting for him.
I remember my hands shaking violently as I took off my clothes. ”
Kip sucks in a sharp breath. “You don’t have to keep going…”
“No, I need to get this out. I’m almost done.
” I snuggle closer to Kip, pressing every inch of available skin to his.
“The door to the hotel room opened, but it wasn’t Jeremy who came in.
It was a group of his friends, with a cell phone pointed at me, recording me naked on the bed.
They were laughing hysterically. Saying things like ‘I can’t believe you fell for it!
’, ‘You really thought Jeremy would want you’, ‘You’re a fucking freak!
’. I was mortified and in tears. I crawled under the covers, and eventually they left, slamming the door behind them.
I stayed in that room all night, not moving from underneath the sheets.
I sobbed, my heart completely obliterated.
How could I have been so fucking stupid?
I didn’t want to go back to school on Monday.
I could have told my Mom, and she would have let me stay home. But I was so fucking humiliated.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” Kip’s voice is filled with tears. “That’s so fucked up.”
I huff out a mirthless laugh. “That wasn’t the end.
On Monday, every student in the school had seen the video.
They shared it all over. I got some looks of pity, but mainly people laughed at me.
It was hell. I feel into a deep pit. Started skipping school.
Mom eventually found out what happened, and wanted me to report it to the school and police.
But I wanted it all to be over. So I finished the school year online. And I never reported anything.”
Kip tenses against me. “That was sexual harassment, Charlie. None of that was okay, and none of that was your fucking fault. It was all on Jeremy and his friends. And every fucking kid at school that laughed at your pain instead of standing up for what was right.”
“It was easier for them to laugh along, rather than become a target themselves. I get it.”
Kip grabs my face, turning it up to look in his eyes. “No. Absolutely not. There is no excuse. It. Was. Not. Your. Fault.”
A sob wrenches free from me. Mom told me the same thing. And even though part of me thinks they might be right, I still blame myself.
“That’s why I have a hard time trusting others. I push everyone away, don’t let anyone close. I don’t want to hurt like that again. But you…I can’t push you away. Please don’t hurt me.”
Kip tugs me tighter, stroking my spine softly. “I’d never let you push me away, baby. And I will never hurt you. Not again. I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through. And I’m sorry I added to that pain my attacking you, and ghosting you.”
It’s my turn to reassure Kip. “No, Kip. If I’m not allowed to blame myself for the past, then you aren’t allowed to either. You had no control over that attack. And I understand why you ghosted me. As long as you never do it again, we’re good.”
“Never ever again, Charlie. I promise.”