Chapter 13
Henny
The elevator ride felt endless.
I kept my eyes fixed on the floor numbers, hyperaware of Pip beside me. Our hands were still linked, Pip's thumb tracing random patterns against my palm like he couldn't help himself. He acted like touching me had become as natural as breathing.
Which, of course, made me think about earlier.
His possessive display in the lobby kept replaying in my mind. The way Pip had inserted himself between me and Woody with that unhinged sort of violence in his eyes. The way he'd called himself my boyfriend like it was fact instead of a label we’d never, ever discussed.
Most of all, I couldn’t get the way he looked at me as he spoke. His eyes had been filled with raw need. There was no question of where his loyalties were.
My heart hammered against my ribs.
The doors opened to our floor. We walked in silence to the room. My hands shook slightly as I let us in, and I knew Pip noticed.
Pip noticed everything about me.
The door clicked shut behind us.
I set my tablet on the desk, buying myself a moment to think. To figure out what happened next. Pip had laid everything bare in that lobby. He’d practically begged me to stop fighting our connection after seeing me with Woody.
And I wanted to. I wanted to stop pretending I didn't think about Pip constantly, didn't crave the weight of his gaze on me, or replay every moment we spent together on an endless loop.
Unfortunately, wanting and having were different things. Having meant admitting how deeply Pip had burrowed under my skin. Having meant giving up the illusion of control I'd maintained so carefully.
Having meant letting Pip see just how infatuated I'd truly become.
"Henny."
I turned. Pip stood in the middle of the room, and the tense energy from downstairs had drained away. He looked uncertain in a way that made my overworking mind shut down.
"Are we going to talk more about us? Or are you going to pretend you need to file reports for the next three hours?"
My mouth curved into a smile despite myself. "I actually do need to file reports."
"Liar."
"Maybe." I took a step closer. Then another. "Or maybe I'm just trying to figure out how to do this."
Pip's eyes darkened. "There’s nothing to figure out. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it."
"You make it sound so simple. We both know it’s not." The admission came out quieter than I intended. "You already have more of me than anyone ever has. If I give you the rest…"
"Then you'd be trusting me. Which I know is terrifying for someone who needs to control everything.
But Henny, I'd never hurt you. Not on purpose. Not ever." He closed the distance between us, stopping just shy of touching me. “I’ve fucked people up for looking at you wrong. I’d do the same to myself if it came to that.”
The thing was, I believed him. I believed in the sincerity underneath his history of chaos and violence.
“You’ve fucked people up for looking at me wrong?”
He groaned. “Yessss. I love when you cuss. Gets my cock all hard.”
“That didn’t answer the question.”
“I know. Give me a minute.” His hand pressed to the front of his pants as he took a deep breath. “Yeah, ok. It’s true. There have been people in the past who stared at you funny. I got the vibe they’d come after you to get to Rel. They died as a precaution. Couldn’t have them take what I wanted.”
I shook my head, not quite believing what I was hearing. It would take some time for me to come to grips with what he’d done.
Overall, I didn’t feel upset. Relief flowed through me knowing how invested he was.
"I'm supposed to be the controlled one. The professional. Not the person who gets worked up anytime you walk into a fucking room. That’s where my problem lies." My jaw clenched.
"I affect you that much?" Pip pressed, and there was hunger in his voice now.
"Yes. And if we give in, I’m going to keep you. I want it so badly it's terrifying."
The silence stretched between us. Then Pip reached up and started unbuttoning his shirt, fingers steady despite the intensity in his eyes.
"What are you doing?"
"Showing you that you're not the only one who's completely gone." Pip shrugged out of his shirt, letting it fall to the floor. "I told you I'd be whatever you wanted me to be. I meant it."
My hands fisted at my sides, fighting the urge to reach out and touch.
"Tell me what you want."
"I want," I swallowed hard as I fought to find words. "I want you to stop undressing yourself."
Pip's hands froze. "You don’t want me undressed?”
"If we're doing this, I want to be the one who undresses you. I want to be in control of how fast or slow we go."
His hands dropped to his sides, and the trust he showed made heat spike through my veins. "I'm yours. Have been for a while now."
The declaration shattered what was left of my restraint. I kissed Pip hard, swallowing a startled gasp from his lips. Need and want and possession all tangled together as I devoured him.
Pip melted into me immediately, hands coming up to grip my shoulders. The pliant response made my head spin even more. I'd expected at least a little bit of a fight. Instead, he just opened for me, letting me take control of the kiss, of the pace, of him.
When we broke apart, both breathing hard, Pip's eyes were glazed.
"Bedroom," I managed. "Now."
He went without argument, and that drove straight through me like lightning. I followed, watching him sit on the edge of the mattress and look up at me with an eager expression.
This was the man who'd killed someone just hours ago. Who moved through the world like violence incarnate. And here he was, waiting for my next command like it was the only thing that mattered.
Our last time together hadn’t been a fluke. It hadn’t been a lapse in judgement.
My hands went to Pip's belt, finishing what he’d started. I worked the leather free, then the button of his jeans, then the zipper, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Pip's breath quickened, but he didn't move or hurry things along.
Damn. I loved when he got like this.
"Stand up," I ordered, using the voice he always responded to. It had been stupid of me to tell him to get on the bed with his clothes on. I’d chalk it up to my brain being on lust-mode instead of thinking clearly.
Pip stood immediately.
I stripped him methodically, removing each piece of clothing with care.
In a flash, he was completely bare, exposed and vulnerable in the lowly lit space.
I had to take a moment to look freely. Last time I was in this position, I didn’t get to relish in him.
My focus had been on reading his facial expressions.
He was beautiful.
All lean muscle, with scars scattered across his body like a roadmap of his past. His cock was already hard, flushed and leaking, but Pip made no move to touch himself. He stood there and let me drink him in.
"Mine," I said, voice rough with my own need.
Pip's eyes went wide. "Henny…"
"Lie on your back." I gestured to the bed.
He obeyed, stretching out on the mattress. I shrugged off my own shirt, watching Pip track the movement hungrily.
"Can I touch you?" he asked.
"Not yet." I finished undressing, then climbed onto the bed. I settled between Pip's spread legs. "Right now, I just want you to feel. Be as still as you can, baby."
I ran my hands up his thighs, mapping the muscles, feeling him tremble under my touch. When I reached his hips, I gripped hard enough to leave marks, which made Pip's back arch off the bed.
"Please.”
"Please what?"
"Give me more."
“That doesn’t tell me anything, Pip. What do you need more of?” My lips landed on his hip bone, a teasing punctuation to my words.
He whined under me, panting like he’d been running a race. Through it all he remained still. He was such a good boy for me. And he was perfect for me.
I moved up his body, placing random kisses as I went. Up, up, up, until I was back at his mouth. He welcomed me happily, opening for me, letting me take my time to savor his mouth.
When his hands landed on my shoulders, I yanked back. “Keep them on the bed.”
His head bobbed quickly as he fisted the comforter beneath him. A slow smile took over as I watched him force his body to calm. My cock jerked forward, reminding me I had serious intentions when I put us in this position.
I kissed down Pip’s throat, feeling his pulse jump under my lips. Then I made my way back down his body, across his collarbone, over his chest, pausing at his nipples to lavish them, then trailing down his abdomen until I hovered over his very erect cock.
“You’re so responsive, baby. My good boy likes to be teased,” I commented.
Pip made a broken sound that shot straight to my cock. The praise clearly affected him. His whole body jolted with the sound.
“Told you… Told you I could be good for you. Always will be, Daddy.”
Blindly, I reached for the nightstand, my patience gone with the use of that name again.
I kept lube in the drawer, and I’d recently added condoms. Preparedness was the smart way to go.
I couldn’t predict the future, but I could have what I might need if a certain stubborn assassin decided he wanted to be fucked.
Popping open the lid, I asked the most important question of the night. “How long has it been for you? Do I need to take my time getting you ready?”
“It’s been a while. I haven’t wanted anyone else to top.”
I froze at the admission. Pip closed his eyes, almost like he was waiting for me to explode or freak out and stop things again.
“Since when?” I rasped.
He shook his head. I reached up with my clean hand and gripped his chin hard. His eyes flew open.
“I asked you a question. I expect an answer.”
“Years, Henny. I haven’t let anyone do this in a long fucking time. I’ve topped since, but it’s not my favorite. Just a release.”
Part of me wanted to ask him why that was. But I didn’t really have to. Not with the way his eyes pleaded with me to read the room.
I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Then I definitely need to be gentle.”
He sighed, relaxing back onto the bed, giving me the blind trust I found far too arousing. I focused on his body and pleasure instead.
Circling his rim, I watched his face for any sign of discomfort. The first finger I pressed inside him proved just how true his words had been. My boy’s body was tight around me, gripping me in a way that would have strangled my cock in a borderline painful manner.
For a man who enjoyed invoking violence, my boy didn’t much like the sting that came from being stretched. Which only meant I made sure to give him all my care and attention.
“I love that you’re here with me.”
A kiss to his inner thigh.
“You trusting me feels amazing.”
A kiss to his hip.
“You drive me insane. I want you so much.”
With each bit of praise, I pushed him for more, spreading my fingers, and when needed, adding another. I didn’t move too fast at any point. All that calm, controlled patience I’d spent years honing went to great use.
“I can’t imagine life without you in it, baby,” I whispered once I knew he was ready to take me.
Pip’s were bright when they met mine. “Please, Henny. I need you inside of me. Show me I’m yours.”
Any other time, I’d have tried to delay things longer. Maybe suck his cock to tease him or attempt to taste every inch of his body in the most torturous way.
But not this time.
This time was about giving us what we needed: connection.
I slipped on a condom, coated myself in lube, then lined up at his entrance. Pip wrapped his legs around my waist and pulled me forward. I slid inside him in one smooth move, his body opening so beautifully I almost wept.
“Fuck,” he shouted. “Daddy! It feels…”
“Feels like what?”
“I don’t know. Can’t think.”
His panted words made me chuckle. The sound was met with a look of shock, which I ignored in favor of fucking him the way I knew he needed. The way he deserved.
In no time I found a rhythm that had him gasping, his hips tilting as his legs squeezed me forward, as if he demanded I fuck him deeper. It was a fight to not come too soon. His body wrapped around mine was utter perfection. He was better than anything, anyone I’d ever experienced.
Weeks of tension came to a head when his body clenched around me. His cock spurted against his stomach, the creamy liquid coating his abs. Seeing that, I couldn’t hold back my own release.
I groaned, my hips jerking one last time as I filled him. Pip sighed while my cock pulsed inside him. It made me chuckle again because it was so unlike him to be this calm and relaxed—at least not without a dead body nearby.
“You’re mine now, Pip. No leaving. No getting away.”
“It’s exactly what I wanted. From the start it was only meant to be you. Just needed you to wake up.”
I raised my head from where I’d tucked my chin down. “Are you saying you planned this?”
He raised his brows. “Me? Planning? You’re mistaken.”
From the way he said it, I knew there was more he wasn’t telling me. I was too deep in the post-sex mindset to challenge him on it. Maybe later I’d remember to investigate what sneaky maneuvers he’d managed right under my nose.
We stayed together for a long moment before I finally, carefully pulled out, cleaned his release up, and dealt with the condom. Pip watched my every move. The minute I was in bed, he curled into my chest.
“You okay?” I asked, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
“The okayest of okay.”
“Good. We’ll rest for a bit, then we’ll get up and I can feed you.”
“Mmmm. Yes. I like this plan. And I love that you’re keeping me, Daddy,” he mumbled around a yawn.
We definitely had to have the Daddy talk sooner than later. While I didn’t mind it, I wanted to know what else my murderous man wanted or needed to feel like he mattered.
The idea that he wanted to be kept was still a bit astounding to me. The man who didn’t have a home, a permanent job, or any family, wanted to be connected to me in a way that screamed permanence.